


Between the Lines

by ForYou_InSilence, LivefromG25



Category: Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Domestic Fluff, Epistolary, Friendship, M/M, Marriage Woes, No but we mean really really slow, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, best brothers, inner turmoil, tags to be added as story develops, they smoke pot ya'll
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-03-26 12:56:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 73,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13858212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForYou_InSilence/pseuds/ForYou_InSilence, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivefromG25/pseuds/LivefromG25
Summary: Following the manic success of CMBYN, the boys’ careers are at an all time high.Timmy’s in London, filming The King. Armie’s in New York for his run in Straight White Men. Their friendship as strong as it ever was, they are still being lauded for their work in Italy, directors are fighting over themselves to work with them, they should be on top of the world.So why aren’t they?A peek into their world via all forms of communication.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collaborative fic written by [LivefromG25](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LivefromG25/works) and yours truly.
> 
> This is RPF. This is a work of fiction. We do not know any of these people and are only having a bit of fun. <3

 

Armie /  _Timmy_

 

**June 10, 2018**

**< 11:53AM> **

Hey, T. How’s it hanging?

  ** _< 17.07gmt> _**

_To the left. As always._

_How are you?? How is all at home???_

 

**< 12:11PM>**

Fuck you. Why’d you never tell me

7 shows a week would kick my ass this hard?

 

**_< 17.19gmt>_ **

_I forgot how old you were…._

 

**_< 12:21PM>_ **

Again, I say. F U C K Y O U. Sers, how

are you? Acquired that posh accent full time yet?

 

**< 17.23gmt>**

_Why, yes daaaahling, I have. You simply must come join_

_one for some tea and crumpets._

 

**< 17.23gmt>**

_Actually, man,  I spend soooo much time nodding at_

_people without a clue what they’re  saying to me._

 

**< 17.24gmt>**

_Listen, dude - I gtg  but we need to catch up properly._

_You off on Sunday? Or when?_

 

**< 12:24PM>**

Yeah, Sundays. I spend them in

the convalescent home down the street.

 

**< 17.28gmt>**

_Get your carer to hook you up with_

_a laptop, yeah? Or a PC. or whatever_

_has text big enough to see._

**< 12:32PM>**

Not sure the home is equipped with

all that new-fangled techno mumbo

jumbo, but I’ll see what I can manage ;)

 

**< 17.36gmt>**

_That's the spirit, Grandpa. I will let_

_you know when I am free. Good luck_

_with tonight’s show - and remember_

_what I told you.  (Don’t worry if you can’t,_

_It  is probably dementia)._

_Peace xx_

 

**< 12:42PM>**

Yeah yeah, glad to see you’re

still a little shit.

Catch you- later.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**11 June 2018**

**< 14.53gmt>**

_Armand, this is Timothee speaking;_

_do you copy?_

 

**< 9:55AM>**

Roger that. Barely.

 

**< 14.55gmt>**

_Just wondering if you are free to talk at 16.00 hrs (stop)_

_I will be available (stop)_

_I would like to see your face (stop)_

_Ask your carer (stop)_

_This is a telegram (stop)_

_I think they are more your generation? (stop)_

 

**< 9:56AM>**

God, you’re like a dog with a bone.

And genius, is that 16.00 gmt or est?

Or do they teach infants about time zones?

 

**< 14.57gmt>**

_The zone I am in is the only one_

_that matters, old man._

 

**< 14.57gmt>**

_GMT_

 

**< 9:58AM>**

Don’t expect me to move from this

bed and really don’t expect me to

be more than coherent at 11AM

after a two-show day

 

**< 14.59gmt>**

_At least put some clothes on…_

 

**< 10:00AM>**

I’m a sadist but even I wouldn’t

put you through that

 

**< 15.01gmt>**

_Usually you know I’d be all for it, but…_

_I won’t be alone…_

_:p_

 

**< 10:01AM>**

Thank heaven for small mercies

 

**< 15.02gmt>**

_Last I heard, nothing small about it._

_Talk to you in an hour. X_

 

**< 10:03AM>**

Lol, you should know, fucker.

See you in a while.

 

**< Facetime>**

**_< Incoming call from TChalamet>_ **

 

**_< June 11, 2018>_ **

**_< 11:13AM>_ **

  ** _<_ ** **TC >** ( _off camera)_  I’m here, hang on.

  **< AH>** ( _chuckles, coughs_ ) I got nothing but time.

  **< TC>** And a chainsaw lodged in your throat? You sound like hell.

  **< AH>** Yeah, you never said how hard it is to _project._ Where the hell are you?

  **< TC>** Sorry, I'm here. It is so good to finally see you! Maaaan, you look fucking ROUGH.

  **< AH>** I did warn you. But have to say, you’re a sight for sore eyes. Look at you. Going out?

  **< TC>** ( _hand on chest_ ) What, this old thing? Ha, no, I’m just back from a shoot. It was pretty cool I can't wait to see the pictures. ( _huge grin_ ) But enough of that, man, I am so psyched to see you! It kinda makes me feel a little homesick - this was all way easier with you guys…

  **< AH>** Tea and crumpets don’t quite measure up to homemade pasta and good conversation?

  **< TC>** Honestly, I've never longed for pasta more. So, tell me all your news! How is the show going? Sorry for all of the teasing by the way, you're not really _that_ ancient…

  **< AH>** Huh, thanks. Things are good. The show is going well. Or as well as we hoped, you know? The reception’s been pretty good, which is a relief. But honestly, I think you had the right of it, to do this sooner. I really do feel too old to be doing this. Old dog, new tricks and all that.

  **< TC>** ( _solemnly_ ) At any age, it doesn't matter. If it's new, it's new. Don't be putting yourself down. _Plenty_ other people will do that for you. I am so fucking proud of you though, man, seriously. It takes balls to do what you're doing. Good to know you took them with you ( _laughs)_

  ** _<_ ** **AH >** ( _flips him the finger)_ That joke _never_ gets old. It’ll be on my tombstone- _Here lies Armie Hammer, balls fully digitally restored._

  ** _<_ TC** _**>** Testicules! _ I have only been asked about them around 6 times since I have been here so, don't worry, interest is dying out.

  **< AH>** Three years on. Thank, fuck. Seriously, dude, if it makes you laugh like that, it’s all worth it.

  **< TC>** You're such a charmer, Armie Hammer, have I told you that? Anyway what's going on with you today, seems you have quite the quiet house there this morning?

  **< AH>** Liz took the kids to church with my mother this morning.

  **< TC>** Wait, what, your mom is in town?

  **< AH>** ( _runs a hand through his hair backwards, heaving a sigh_ ) Yeah, she came in ‘for a visit’ ( _he literally air quotes_ ) this week.

  **< TC>** ...To see the show, right?

  **< AH>** That’s what she said, but you know how complicated it is, man…

  **< TC>** The subject matter is more to her taste, huh? ( _looks down)_ Sorry, that was out of order… I'm glad she is supporting it at least.

  **< AH>** The joke may be on her, if she’s merely going by the title. She hasn’t actually seen it yet. Just got in yesterday and was too _tired_ to attend last night’s show. Tomorrow should be interesting.

  **< TC>** Perhaps she will attend the _matinee dahling_ . ( _tips imaginary champagne flute_ )

Let me know how that goes. How’re the kids? I sent over some gifts from here but I don’t know if they arrived yet? I only sent them a couple of days ago so….

  **< AH>** I haven’t heard of anything arriving. I’m sure Liz will let me know. But thanks, T. That’s sweet of you. You know they both adore you. Hops always pours one out for Uncle Timmy at all the best tea parties.

  **< TC>** Well then she is going to love this particular gift, I am in the home of it after all. Man, I miss you guys. I feel like we catch up all the time but it's been ages since we’ve gotten to _talk._

  **< AH>** Yeah, we miss you, too. But _talk?_ Fuck, how long has it been since we were even in the same room together? I really mean it. It’s _great_ to see you, but ( _waves hand at screen)_ this shit’s for the birds.

  **< TC>** I can’t even be sure what day it is anymore around here, but it has definitely been _too_ long. Plus the weed is shit over here ( _smirks softly)._ When I next get a run of a few days off I’d love to come and see you - see you guys - if that would be ok?

  **< AH>** Sucks to be you, dude. Your guy here keeps me hooked up. But, yeah, that would be more than okay with me. Hell yeah. Definitely. I get enough advance notice, maybe I could let the understudy cover a night. We could do it up right.

  **< TC>** No! ( _sits up straight_ ) Dude, if you’re on that night I want to see you! I can be front row, heckling up at you. I mean, I know I saw it at the start but that would give me a great reference point from which to write my wonderful review for the local magazine. ( _laughs softly_ ) Genuinely, I would love to see you on stage again if the timing suits. We can go out after, or just wander round home for a while. Get food. Go through the park. Ride the subway…. ( _quietly)_ Man, it all seems too far away. Least I have you there, sending photos.

  **< AH>** Not enough crack heads on the Metro to makes it seem like home? ( _laughs, then sobers_ ) I get it. I do. I pass by places you’ve pointed out to me before and I’ll turn, before I even realise, to ask you what the name of that restaurant was where we had the really horrible pizza that night. You’re not there, man. I’m here in your city and you’re not here.

  **< TC>**( _pauses. sits back. pushes hair off his face_ ) I… I mean, Armie… I- I- I dunno man, I can’t really think about that too much, y’know? If I let myself I think I would be on the next flight.

  **< AH>** No, I know. Shit, sorry. Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m stretched too thin and getting maudlin in my old age. It’s good. You’re doing your thing and it’s gonna be amazing. Enjoy it.

  **< TC>** ( _nervously looking around the room_ ) Like, no, it’s fine - I’m fine - but you know, you make it sound so fucking enticing, man. Like hanging with you, _at home?_ Like… _fuck._ ( _exhales audibly_ )

  **< AH>** ( _sighs_ ) That’s the dream, right? You’ve lived the SoCal life with us. I’d like the chance to know what it’s like, more than a day or two- what _you’re_ like, when you’re _home._

  **< TC>** It’s at the stage now when I don’t even know myself who I will be when I next go home. But yeah, that would be so good. Are you ok though? I mean, you look a little… edgy. Just tired?

  **< AH>** ( _scrubs both palms roughly over his face_ ) I am. . . tired. I guess that’s about the best word to describe it? Restless, maybe? I didn’t realise what an adjustment it would all be.

  **< TC>** Well, you have moved your entire family to another coast and taken on something pretty big and completely new _and_ you barely had a break after all of our stuff so it is hardly surprising. I am kinda worried about you…

  **< AH> ** _Fuck._ No, fuck, there’s no reason to be worried. You have enough on your plate. You’re right. But stop worrying. Please. It’s good. It’s all good. Growing pains and adjustments. I’ll catch my stride before the run ends.

  **< TC>** I know you better than to believe you right now… but if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to. But I am here, ok? Always. You know that - just give me a text and I will get back to you. It may be 3-5 business days, but I _will_ get back to you ( _soft smile_ ) ok?

  **< AH>** ( _laughs_ ) 3-5 business days. Ha! Should I just have my people call your people?

  **< TC>** Ha, yeah and I will be sure you get a signed picture. ( _glances up, beyond the screen_ ) Hey, look dude, I am getting dirty looks here, I think I have to wrap this up…

  **< AH>** Yeah, I should probably run my nasty ass through the shower. I’m supposed to meet them for brunch and then take the kids to the park or something. I’m glad we had a chance to do this, it was great to catch up. Let’s not wait so long till next time, alright?

  **< TC>** Give Hops and Ford a kiss from me, yeah? It is always great seeing you, you know that. Good luck with your mom and I’ll talk to you soon, ok? ( _smiles at the screen, giving peace sign_ )

  **< AH>** ( _tries to smile, unable to fully commit, lifts his chin in acknowledgement_ ) Thanks, I’m sure I’m gonna need all the luck I can get. And, it’s always good to see you too. Give London hell, Sweet Tea.

  **< call has disconnected>**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, you thought we got all the goss in one day?

**13 June 2018**

**< 12.24gmt>**

_So, I just ate something_

_called a “yorkshire pudding”._

_I don’t really know what it was_

_but it was oddly satisfying._

 

**< 14.02gmt>**

_Where is Yorkshire?_

 

**< 17.08gmt>**

_Hey, Armz, you haven’t even read_

_my last message yet so I guess you’re busy._

_Which is fine, I mean yorkshire puddings_

_aren’t THAT great I guess?_

 

**< 19.10gmt>**

_I just wrapped for the day so I am heading_

_out with some of the guys “for pints”._

_This may get messy._

_Hope you’re ok._

_Chat soon x_

 

**< 23.47gmt>**

_*pints emojis*_

 

\-----------

 

 **tchalamet** left a comment on **itsmeben** ’s post: “just one! X5!” 2s

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\-----------

 

**< 11:03PM>**

(3) Missed Calls: Sweet Tea

 

**< 04.05gmt>**

_FUKD._ COM

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**14 June 2018**

**< 08.32gmt>**

_*Photo*_

_I regret everything._

 

**< 09:52AM>**

(1) Missed Calls: Sweet Tea

**< 18.09gmt>**

_Yo…_

_I tried facetiming you earlier_

_but I guess you’re not around._

_I miss you man!_

 

**< 18.09gmt>**

_#needy_

_Holla backkkkk…_

_*peace emoji*_

 

\-----------

 

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**< 22.35gmt>**

_Voice Message: “Ha ha ha, Armie - remember that time_

_when you kept texting me and_

_I ignored you? Fun times.”_

 

**< 22.56gmt>**

_Voice Message: “Ha ha ha, Armie - remember that time_

_when my entire phone broke but_

_somehow Instagram still worked?_

_Funnn times.”_

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is kind of excruciating, isn't it?

 

**16 June 2018**

**< 11:52AM>**

(2) Missed Calls: Sweet Tea

 

**< 16.55gmt>  **

_Armie. Seriously. For real._

_Pick up the fucking phone…_

 

**< 18.03gmt>  **

_Nik-sorry man, but is Armie with you?_

_No urgency. Tks bro, T_

 

 

**< 21:23PM>**

(1) Missed Calls: Sweet Tea


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the angst intensifies...

 

**June 17, 2018**

**< 2:21AM>**

~~ I know you’re pissed ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 2:23AM>**

~~ Hey. Sorry I ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 2:49AM>**

~~ T, I know I fucked ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 2:57AM>**

~~ I don’t know what I’m doing anym ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 3:02AM> **

Any idea when you might make it over?

 

**< 7:19AM>**

Okay - My time in the doghouse. I get it. 

 

**< 9.27AM> **

Tim?

**< 15.56gmt> **

_ You’re fucking alive, then _ .

 

**< 12:05PM>**

Not denying, I deserve that, 

but please can we not do that just now?

**< 17.11gmt>**

_ You know radio silence _

_ pisses me off.  _

 

**< 12:12PM> **

I know. I can’t seem to pull

my head out of my own ass. 

Sorry. Really fucking sorry.

**< 17.41gmt>**

_ Look, don’t sweat it.  _

ce n'est pas grave _ , _

_ I only thought you’d fucking _

_ died, no big deal. _

  
  


**< 6:02PM> NICK MOBILE**

‘Sup, Timbo!

Nah, man I haven't seen

Arms since they've been in

NYC. Haven't even talked to him

in the past couple of weeks. Been

hella busy. How's you?

How's merry Old England?

 

**< 23.15gmt>**

_ Cool man, yeah all g - _

_ I got a hold of him.  _

_ All of us super busy huh,  _

_ no rest for the wicked! _

_ England is dope man really _

_ loving it out here. They don’t _

_ know what summer is though, _

_ sadly.  _

 

_ (to Armie) _ **< 23.16gmt>**

_ Silence again?? Do you have any _

_ fucking idea how worried I was?  _

 

**< 6:17PM>**

No, just trying to be the friend

you deserve and allow you to

give me the ass chewing I’ve got

coming. 

 

**< 23.18gmt>**

_ Being the friend I deserve?  _

_ The friend I deserve is one that  _

_ doesn't fuck with me. _

 

**_<_ ** **6:19PM >**

Well, the friend I deserve wouldn’t 

fucking rag on me because I 

failed to answer when they 

thought I should have!

Shit, T. WTF

 

**< 23.21gmt>**

_ No, you're right, days of silence when _

_ someone is obviously worried  _

_ about you is normal friend behaviour.  _

_ Thanks, bro _ .

_ *thumbs up emoji*  _

 

**< 06:22PM>**

Okay. Yeah, you're right. I mean, 

it’s not like there isn’t a million

things going on over here that 

you have no clue about. But sure, 

I’m gonna drop everything, tell 

everyone to step off my dick for 

two seconds just so I can placate you. 

You’re welcome. 

Bro.

 

**< 23.25gmt>**

_ Hard to know what’s going on with you _

_ when I’m left deciphering white noise. I get it, I  _

_ am not that important to you to warrant a 2sec text.  _

_ It’s fine, better I know.   _

 

**< 06:26PM>**

For the love of Christ

Not important enough? Do you

 

**< 06:27PM>**

Do you have any idea? Fuck. 

No. Apparently not.

I can’t deal with this, T. 

Not from you too. 

 

**< 23.29gmt>**

_ Fuck it, you don't have to _

**_deal_ ** _ with me at all.  _

_ Forget about it.  _

 

**< 06:31PM>**

Don’t deal with you?

When you even have the 

need to get Nick involved??

  
  


**< 23.33gmt>**

_ Oh I'm sorry, is he strictly only your _

_ friend again now then? I see…  _

 

**< 06:34PM>**

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Nick’s been my  _ friend _ since practically

before you were even born. Don’t fucking 

throw him into the middle of this.

  
  
  


**< 23.36gmt>**

_ I didn't throw him into the middle  _

_ of anything, Armie. I thought _

_ you were fucking DEAD.  _

_ you know what, fuck this.  _

 

**< 23.36gmt>**

_ Fuck you.  _

 

**< 23.37gmt>**

_ My bad for giving a shit.  _

 

**< 06:37PM>**

(message read)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was an absolute bear. Texas threw us all for a loop and had these two run away from us and the outline they were meant to stick to. But never fear, they will be sent to their rooms as punishment, don't you worry!

 

**Armie Hammer✓**

@armiehammer

experience is simply the name we give our mistakes…

 

Armie Hammer retweeted

 **Oscar Wilde** @Wit_of_Love ⠂18 June 2018

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

 

 **Armie Hammer** @armiehammer

replying to @symonsez

Grab a chair and wait for me to give

a fuck!

* * *

 

  
  


**June 18th 2018**

**< 13.18gmt>**

_… Can I call you?_

 

**< 8:20AM>**

Give me five minutes

 

**< 13.20gmt>**

_Sure_

 

 _ < _ **_Facetime >_ **

 

**_< incoming call from Armz>_ **

 

**< 18 June 2018>**

**< 13.32gmt>**

 

<TC> Hey…

 

<AH> _(sheepish, adjusts phone screen angle)_ Hey

 

<TC> ( _pacing, holding phone but not looking into camera_ ) Look, about yesterday, man, I- … I just… I’m so fucking sorry, man. I didn’t mean what I said, I shouldn’t have said it. I was out of fuckin’ order. Armie, the way I spoke to you… man, you have right to never want to speak to me again for that shit. I was just… I mean, for the days… like, I didn’t know what was going on and then you just were _there_ and I guess I kinda just lost it. Fuck man, I mean, I was so worried and…-

 

<AH> _(shakes his head)_ I know. God. T, I know. I fucked up. I know I did, I just never expected it would matter to you that much?

 

<TC> ( _looks to camera, confused)_ Matter to me? Armie, I thought it was Texas all over again. I was freaking the fuck out.

 

<AH> Texas? _(brow furrows)_ What does Texas have to do with anything?

 

<TC> Well, y’know ( _gestures with his left hand)_  you were with your mom and the whole situation and… ( _shakes his head)_ look, it doesn’t matter. I still shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. It was, it was wrong.

 

<AH> No. I deserved it, T. It was a fucking shit thing to do.

 

<TC> Yea...It was, but can we just pretend it didn’t happen?

 

<AH> _(sighs with relief)_ Please.

 

<TC> Ok… but I _am_ sorry. I love you, man, and I am sorry.

 

<AH> _(fondly)_ I know. Me, too.

 

<TC> But you won’t pull that shit on me again, right?

 

<AH> Swear to god. _(draws an ‘X’ across his chest, holds his hand up)_ It won’t happen again… are we good?

 

<TC> Don’t ask me, I am the one grovelling at your mercy here, Armz. I’m the one who lost their fucking mind.

 

<AH> Ah christ, T. I hate this. _(scrubs at his hair with both hands in frustration)_ You shouldn’t be the one grovelling for fuck all. Ever. This is all on me. If I hadn’t been asshole of the century… I know sorry doesn’t come close to covering it, but know that I am. Truly. Fucking. Sorry.

 

<TC> ( _sighs with a soft smile_ ) It’s ok. We’re ok. We’re good. I probably should stop adding to your problems now right?

 

<AH> _(moves the phone closer and looks straight into the camera)_ Timmy, right now, you are the _only_ thing in my life that isn’t a problem. You’re my fucking rock.

 

<TC> ( _pauses, nodding. Inhales deeply before his lips curve into a smirk)_ I think I am kinda more like an iceberg after that epic meltdown, huh?

 

<AH> _(laughs softly, with a matching smile)_ “You jump. I jump.”

 

<TC> ( _silence, smile falls_ )...Yeah, there was definitely room for me on that fucking door though.

 

<AH> _(despondent)_ Nah, man, we both would have drowned this week.

 

<TC> ( _looks down away from camera)_ Next time, maybe. So, are we gonna talk about why you ghosted or…?

 

<AH> Yeah, it’s not like you don’t deserve a fucking explanation. _(shakes his head, looks away from the camera)_ It’s just… Liz is due back any time and I just can’t get in the middle of it and her walk in, you know?

 

<TC> ( _huffs, shaking head slightly)_ Yeah. Sure.

 

<AH> _(hopeful)_ Do you think you’ll have some time tomorrow?

 

<TC> I can make time.

 

<AH> Great. I’ll be free after the show tomorrow night? Liz has some charity do I begged off from. I’ll have the kids, but they’ll be in bed by then.

 

<TC> ( _tight lipped smile)_ Cool, it’s a date. I’ll talk to you then.

 

<AH> _(swallows)_ Definitely. A date. Good deal. Catch you later.

 

**< call has disconnected>**

 

* * *

 

 

Timothée Chalamet retweeted

 **Shakespeare Quotes** @SaidShakespeare ⠂18 June 2018

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remember'd;

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother;

 

 

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	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. One of us had a birthday and was out of sorts (read: too tipsy) to manage to get this chapter in any shape to post. ;) But, we are back on track now and ready to roll.

**_< Incoming call from TChalamet>_ **

**20 June 2018**

**05.12gmt**

 

<AH> Heya, Timotay. 

<TC> _ Salut _ …. Sorry again for being an asshole.

<AH> Please, you were in no way being an asshole. Honestly? I don’t even know why you’re still bothering to talk to me after that shit. So, stop apologising, this was all on me. Anyway, that’s my line.

<TC> Oh, yeah - oops, wrong page of the script.

<AH> _ (half-hearted laugh) _ Yeah. Might be easier if there  _ were  _ a script, man.  _ (pause) _ Listen, I know I’m beating a dead horse here, that you’ve said it’s all okay now, but— Tim, you did not deserve to be left hanging like that. I know it’s a piss poor excuse, but it has just been a really shit week here and I managed it like the asshat I am.

<TC> Look, we’re cool. It’s cool. I know I overreacted and made the whole thing into something it didn’t need to be. That was not… I was not a great friend for doing that so let me redeem myself too; Talk to me, what’s up? Is it the play? Did something happen? Are the kids ok?

<AH> ( _ heavy sigh _ ) Shut up. What the fuck? Not a ‘great friend’. ( _ bitter laugh)  _  You do realise it wasn’t just you I ghosted on, right? Like I was on lockdown from  _ everything _ , but you— Jesus, T. You were the only one— just don’t say that shit, okay? You are the only one that cared so I won’t hear that from you. ( _ pause)  _ It’s nothing to do with the kids, they’re great and perfect and the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. They’re the one bright spot, you know? It was the whole clusterfuck of having the mother figure around. And Liz-  _ Elizabeth _ \- It’s been a lot.

<TC> Is your mom still there?

<AH> No, thank god. She left on Friday. Felt like she’d been here a year. I don’t know how many times this week I contemplated walking head long into a city bus.

<TC> ( _ pause _ ) I actually can’t tell if you’re being dramatic or not…

<AH> _ (groans, scrubbing a hand over his face)  _ That’s the thing, T. . . I don’t know whether I am or not either.

<TC> You know those drivers are crazy right? They wouldn’t stop for you, 6ft 5 or otherwise…

<AH> Yeah, I know. I’m- Sorry, just a poor attempt at humor. I’m not that bad. Not yet. I don’t think?

<TC> But bad enough?

<AH> ( _ long silence _ ) I have been fighting fires for what feels like months now. If it’s not work, it’s Elizabeth, if it’s not Elizabeth, it’s something to do with the kids, if it’s not that, it’s my mother and just, jesus fuck... I am so close to losing my actual goddamn mind.

<TC> You never really said anything? You could have talked to me? I thought that you were just stressed about the job, the new challenges...

<AH> No, I know. I didn't want to burden you with all my shit, Tim. You’ve got enough in your own life to deal with. Honestly, once I started, where would I stop? You didn't – don't – need that. But now... Shit, now, I have seriously fucked up.

<TC> Why? What's happened? What did you do?

<AH> She found the texts. Liz. On Monday night.

<TC> Okaaaay?... What texts? From who?

<AH> I haven't been very honest with you, Tim.  _ (deep breath) _ Umm. Jesus. So, remember when you came to my show the first time? We went out for dinner afterwards and we ended up out until, what, fucking 5am, getting papped walking through the park?

<TC> ( _ hesitant _ ) Yes...

<AH> Yeah, well I didn't tell you anything at the time because you'd already left town and what good would it do anyway. But basically, those pictures came out a couple of days later and shit hit the fan in a pretty spectacular fucking way. When I say Liz put her foot down, I mean in stilletto heels, right on my fucking dick. She’d been for lunch that day with my mother so you know, I am sure this didn’t all originate from her but she was not happy. She said it looked... “compromising”... that people would talk, and she’s just not having that kind of spotlight. She said it looked like we'd...  _ (coughs, clears his throat)  _ Anyway, she lost her goddamn fucking mind, ended up taking the kids to her parents for the weekend, it was intense...

<TC> Jesus, Armie! Why didn’t you say anything? I mean, like, she knew right? Like she knew there was nothing...It  _ was _ nothing? So, what, she’s concerned over what people might think...?

<AH> Pretty much. But she told me in no uncertain terms that I was to ... not exactly stop speaking to you... but tone it down. To barely speaking levels.

<TC> ...the fuck? I mean, I guess you told her she was overreacting, yeah?

<AH> ( _ silence _ )

<TC> Armie...

<AH> ( _ clears throat _ ) Look, Tim, what could I do? She was losing her shit, she was not really being that rational about things, I mean, I don't expect you to understand... relationships, they’re -

<TC> Don't you dare try and patronise me right now, Armie

<AH> Shit, no – that’s not... I didn't mean that. I just mean relationships – marriages – they have their own code. You know what to fight, you know what not to touch with a ten foot pole. This was not a fight I was willing to enter into, there was no winning for me.

<TC> But you did win, you must have? We talk all of the time?

<AH> Yes, I know we do.

<TC> ( _ pause _ ) Ahh...  _ I see _ ... she doesn't know we still talk all of the time, does she?

<AH> Not exactly...

<TC> _ Not exactly _ or  _ Not at all _ ?

<AH> She knows we’re in touch. She knew it would be impossible for me to—  work wise if nothing else— to cut all communication with you. And, you know, she does really like you, this wasn't something personal. This was an attack on me, as per fucking usual. But, no, she doesn't know that we talk as much as we do.

<TC> Ok... I mean, man this is fucked up… and the texts?

<AH> After her tirade, I started deleting our texts, all those conversations; clearing my call history. It was just easier, she uses my phone, Hops watches kid vids on it, I just don't want the drama, but last week I messed up. I got into the habit of deleting every so often because I never know when people will get back, but Monday I guess I fell back to sleep for a bit before you called, or I don’t know what I did, but I didn’t delete the end of that conversation.

<TC> Monday? Ok. Well, all we did was arrange a call. Is that why she was mad, because she knew I'd called you then?

<AH> Not exactly. I mean, yes, in part, but also... our messages were kind of out of context at that point.

<TC> I don't understand...

<AH> I will send you the screenshot, it was the last four messages... hold on...

<TC> Okay... Oh, right, I have it, hang on.... Oh. Ohh. FUCK.

<AH> You can say that again.

<TC> Shit, Armie, I am so sorry! Fuck! I shouldn't have said that, I can't believe- ... fuck, Armie, man, you HAVE to apologise to her for me, I mean this is insane...

<AH> T, stop. Honestly, it’s fine. I mean, it isn’t fine, but its fine. You didn’t mean anything by it, it’s so fucking innocent it makes me want to scream. But, it was just all made worse because my mother was here and was witness to the entire shit show, which I am sure you can appreciate did not go down too well.

<TC> No wonder you didn’t want to speak to me after causing you so much trouble.

<AH> Hey, it’s not that I didn’t want to speak to you, okay? It was and never will be that. It’s just—  _ (pauses, deep breath _ ) It was an avalanche. With both Liz and my mom. God, my fucking mom. Reminding me at every turn what a fucking disappointment I’ve always been. That she’d hoped I’d outgrown this— nevermind. It’s not the healthiest way to deal, and you know I’ve been working on it since Crema, but sometimes… shutting down is the only way I know to get through.

<TC> I mean, yeah, I get that… I don’t really know what to say Armie, I don’t want to start bad-mouthing your mom… again…

<AH> I know. You’re a better person than I am.

<TC> No. I really am not, I just know if I start I don’t think I will be able to stop.

<AH> Yeah. I appreciate your restraint, just know you don’t have to hold anything back. With me. And, T, knowing you have my back. Man, honestly. It means the world. There’s no one else in my life that knows this shit. There’s no one else I have that I can just lay it all out to and be completely honest with.  No. One.

<TC> Anytime, you know that. This is completely a two way street… I know you are always 100% there for me too and that’s something I really appreciate… but, what now? I mean, if talking to me causes all this drama, I don’t want that for you Armie. I really fucking don’t, I am not worth that kind of hassle. But, I mean, selfishly? The thought of not having you around is killing me here. If thats what has to happen then I get it, I understand, but…( _ angrily)  _ We aren’t doing anything  _ wrong _ , this is bullshit.

<AH> ( _ voice like thunder)  _  You are worth every hassle. No amount of bullshit from my wife or my mother or  _ any-fucking-one _ , is gonna make me cut you out of my life. Do you understand that? Timmy, you weren’t the only one desperate for contact those days I was silent. Not talking to you was like losing part of myself. It’s not gonna happen, T. You’re right, we haven’t done anything wrong, and I’m sorry it took all of this shit to make me understand. You— what we have is worth any amount of bullshit I have to take.  _ (deep breath) _ Please, just don’t say you are willing to walk away. Because you can’t.

<TC> I don’t want to… ( _ long pause _ ) Our friendship has already saved me too many times over the past two years, Armie. I don’t want to lose that. But the thought that your family are so against us being friends… I mean, how does this work going forward? Can we still talk like we do now? I guess seeing you any time soon is out of the question?

<AH> ( _ deep sigh and a long pause)  _ Honestly? I don’t know. All I do know is that I can’t— I won’t give you up. That’s just not happening. I guess… I’m just going to have to be more diligent, right? Make sure I delete all the fucking texts.  _ (more to himself than to Timmy) _ I can’t believe I didn’t delete those texts.  _ (pause) _ We’ll make it work. Somehow, okay? That is— if you’re willing to? It’s a hassle as much for you as it is me. Is it worth it, to you?

<TC> Is Liz going to come after me with a blow torch?

<AH> _ (laughs) _ Maybe not a blowtorch, but do watch out for those stilettos… No, but seriously, let me worry about Liz, okay?

<TC> Okay… I’m kinda reeling here a little.  I mean, I know we agreed to keep a low public profile but I just…

<AH> I know. I mean, there were always the rumors about us, but it’s easy to shake off because those people don’t really  _ know _ us—

<TC> Exactly. So I was right then, yesterday, this really was just like Texas all over again.

<AH> _ Texas? _ This was nothing like Texas. I’m not the one who wanted  _ out _ , Timmy.  I’m fighting to keep us together here.

<TC> Wanted out? What are you  _ talking _ about? I didn’t want out….?

<AH> It sure as fuck seemed that way to me. You were so distant that whole trip. I felt fucking guilty for having asked you to even go. Seemed like you wanted to be anywhere but there…

<TC> Fuck, are you serious? ( _ laughs mirthlessly)  _ Armie, I spent Texas trying not to crowd you the entire time whilst simultaneously ignoring barbed, offensive comments from your mother. I thought -  she had me thinking - that you were the one done with it all and that I was getting on everyone’s last nerve.

<AH> _(long, excruciating silence)_ My mother… My god, Tim. How can I— I am so sorry. I didn’t know. Why. Why didn’t you tell me? I thought. Jesus— ( _painful groan)_ I thought I was losing you. That whole time. I thought you were just… _done_. Promo was over and you were moving on. I was— I was fucking gutted.

<TC> I didn’t know you didn’t know! When we spoke about it, I assumed you knew, I thought that’s why you suggested we keep a low profile, because your mom had said that she was tired of picking up the paper to a fresh new story about how all over you I was.

<AH> God, no. It was never about that. I never knew— I mean, I was _stunned_ when she said she would be there. When has she _ever_ supported me in any of this? I should have  _known!_ God, I am a fucking idiot. Timmy. God, Tim. She had _no right_  to say anything to you. I am so sorry.

<TC> I can’t believe we have spent the last few months operating undercover and we didn’t even know each other’s reason for it ( _ genuine laugh _ ). We are fucking ridiculous, you know that, right?

<AH> _ (smile in his voice _ ) I know. It’s pretty fucked up.  

<TC> Man… this is a lot to process today. Are things at home okay now? Are you still in the doghouse?

<AH> I’m perpetually in the doghouse, but it’s okay. It’s worth it.  _ You’re  _ worth it. Don’t worry. You pulled my head out of my ass.

<TC> Just one of the many services I offer.

<AH> Comfortable around asses, are you?

<TC> ( _ giggles _ ) I have no comeback for that!

<AH> Sure you don’t.

<TC> So, you’re okay? I mean, as you can be… ? I am really sorry again man for those texts, I should really watch what I am saying.

<AH> Me okay.  _ (softly laughs) _ Sorry, couldn’t resist. But, yeah. I’m good. Better now. Now that I know we’re on the same page and that you aren’t slipping away from me. ( _ pause)  _ I’m sorry for the things my mother said to you. None of them are true, you know that right? She’s a horrible excuse for a human being and should never— she had no right to say anything to you.

<TC> Look, don’t worry about that man, I mean - she has her reasons. I don’t subscribe to any of them, but she has them. I am not here to be her friend, I am here to be yours. 

<AH> Like I said— better person. Can’t say I’d be quite so accommodating if your mom decided to piss all over me about our relationship.

<TC> Ha, my mom loves you more than she loves me, I think. You have nothing to worry about there. Actually, she told me to make sure you know to hit her up if you need anything. I tried to tell her about you being an adult and all but she was having none of it…

<AH> _(laughing)_ Your mom is the best. I know you know how lucky you are, just don’t ever forget that. Maybe I’ll hit her up for lunch next week. It’s been an age since I’ve seen either of your parents. They can tell me how you’re _really_ managing over there, cause I’m sure you don’t tell me everything.

<TC> Aside from it being super late here right now, I am honestly doing ok. Having you in a different timezone isn’t ideal for the state of my sleep but… small prices.

<AH> Aw, shit, yeah. That’s my cue. I totally lose track of the stupid time, man. Sorry. I will let you go.

<TC> I am really, really, glad we spoke tonight Armie. I am super sorry for the shit I put you in last week, genuinely, you’ve no idea, but I appreciate you going to bat for us so hard. You’re my brother man, I couldn’t do this shit without you.

<AH> Hey, none of it was your fault. Don’t even entertain that thought anymore, okay? This— you and me and what we have— it’s worth it, the hassle, the struggle. I may not handle the fallout like a grown ass man, but… I can’t do this without you either. I won’t do this without you.

<TC> We’re pathetic, man. Seriously. We need to get a grip.

<AH> _ (laughs)  _ We’re a couple of saps that’s for sure.

<TC> Seriously though, last time before I go back to bed for a few... You promise me you’re okay?

<AH> ( _ solemn) _ I’m gonna be honest and say this whole situation isn’t the best fucking thing to be happening right now, but— I promise I’ll be okay if I know  _ we’re  _ okay.

<TC> We’re good man. We’re good.

<AH> Aight. Then on that  _ good _ note, I am gonna let you go. Get your beauty sleep, T.

<TC> Pfft, please.  _ As if  _ I need it. Okay, I’m out. Throwin’ peace signs like a motherfucker, I will talk to you later.

<AH> Ah, yes, but youth and beauty fades. Even yours, you goddam perpetual twelve year old. ( _ laughs)  _ Definitely talk to you soon. Later, T.

<TC> Night, man. Take care.

<AH> You, too.

 

**< call disconnected>**

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

 

**20th June 2018**

 

 **Tchalamet:** _Video of self in make-up chair, face hidden by phone._ _  
_**_Caption:_** _“Need. it. All”_ ** _Music:_** _Frank Ocean “We All Try”._ (via IG stories)

* * *

 

 

**< 10.02gmt>**

_Morning. Just checking in,_

_hope you’re ok xx_

 

**< 7:17AM>**

I’m good. Heading out for a run.

Did you get any more sleep at all ???

 

**< 13.33gmt>**

_Hope the run helped. Slept enough._

_Did you?_

 

**< 1:41PM>**

If you want to call it that.

 

**< 18.52gmt>**

_Thats a no…._

_:(_

  


**< 9:53PM>**

It’s all good.

Sorry, didn’t mean to leave you hanging.

The show was a grind tonight.

Some asshat’s phone kept going off.

Fuckers.

How was filming today?

 

**< 02.56gmt>**

_It’s funny, somehow I am used to it :p_

_Fuckers is right; did you heckle them?_

 

**< 9:56PM>**

Eviscerated them.

*middle finger emoji*

 

**< 02.57gmt>**

_My day was hella long._

_Just finished up and back in the room._

_Pizza or say fuck it to food and_

_raid the mini bar?? WWAD?_

 

**< 10:08PM>**

WWAD??

Toke it up

* _wink emoji*_

 

**< 03.15gmt>**

_Told you already man, shit weed :D_

 

**< 10:17AM>**

I’ll have to fix you up  ;)

 

**< 03.19gmt>**

_Armz…. don’t go making a girl promises we_

_don’t know you can keep. Who knows when_

_I'll get to hang with you again._

_Still, it's a nice thought!_

  


**< 10:20PM>**

Nah, man. Let me worry about that.

It’s all good.

Be like premiere weekend

We were fuuuuuuucked up

 

**< 03.24gmt>**

_I was stoned for more of that run than_

_I care to think about rn… jealous of my_

_former self!_

 

**< 03.24gmt>**

_*Photo*_

_I got the pizza….._

 

**< 10:36PM>**

You know how much I hate you

right now? Do you even know what a carb is?

 

**< 10:36PM>**

Enjoy it while you can.

Middle age even comes to skinny arses

eventually

*middle finger emoji*

 

**< 03.39gmt>**

_Wonder has anybody ever_

_tried to fuck a pizza?_

_*peach emoji*_

 

**< 10:42PM>**

You could give it the old college try

*eggplant emoji* *pizza emoji*

 

**< 03.44gmt>**

_*eggplant emoji* …. Look at you,_

_Fuckin’ show off._

 

**< 10:46PM>**

Sadly, there’s a lack of Pepsi emojis

to do it justice

 

**< 03.46gmt>**

_*cherry emoji*_

 

**< 10:47PM>**

Chin up. You’ll hit puberty soon.

*wink emoji*

 

**< 03.48gmt>**

_“I’m a real boy!”_

 

**< 11:19PM>**

Oh fuck me. Does that make me

the old fucker, Gepetto?

 

**< 04.21gmt>**

_I am sure there is a wood joke_

_to be made here…_

 

**< 11:21PM>**

What? Like, your shit goes

hard? *wink emoji*

 

**< 04.21gmt>**

_Fuck you, Hammer._

_Pizza is gone. Didn’t even enjoy it after you_

_put the alternatives in my head._

_*tree emoji*_

 

**< 04.25gmt>**

_*Photo*_

_‘Bout to lay my ass down_

 

**< 04.25gmt>**

_BURN THIS CONVO_

 

 **_<_ ** **11:30PM >**

*row of fire emojis*

 

* * *

 

 

 **armiehammer** liked **tchalamet** ’s  

comment: “just one! X5!” 2h

 

 **armiehammer** started following **itsmeben.** 2h

 

 **armiehammer**  liked 6 posts. 2h

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was never really formally stated that this fic posts in 'real time' for the boys. It's meant to be a sloooooow burn and there is a definite endgame, so we beg everyone's patience and hope that eventually all your questions will be answered. 
> 
> We think it's important for readers to remember that we are only privy to one side of their lives- the one they share together in their texts, calls and social media presence- but that there are always things going on behind the scenes that we aren't privy to and can't know about but do and will affect their lives and relationship. We only see the impact of any of that, if it affects both of them.
> 
> We also understand this leaves a lot of onus on the readers- it's titled Between the Lines for a reason. ;) We suggest maybe reading the comments for a lot of context we don't really get into in the fic itself. 
> 
> And as always, we are so grateful to everyone who's following along and we appreciate each and every one of you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know this thing called 'real life'? Yeah, we do, too. But hopefully we're back on track now.

 

**< June 22, 2018>**

**< 9:13AM>**

Wassup, T-Bone?

 

**< 9:14AM>**

Hope it’s just as crazy busy for you

there as here. But feeling maybe

has more to do with the sitch?

 

**< 9:15AM>**

Don’t want you worrying about that. I’m

handling it and just need you to still be

my boy T, like always.

 

**< 14.35gmt>**

_Hey… T-bone? Yeah, dude, not feelin_

_that one, please don’t continue it :p_

 

**< 14.35gmt>**

_I am clearly nothing less_

_than filet, thank you v much_

 

**< 14.36gmt>**

_Sorry for lack of contact (ironic of me I know)_

_I knew you had deleted the texts_

_so i didnt know if i was waiting for some_

_kinda signal or… i dunno man, i_

_felt weird._

 

**< 9:47AM>**

I get it. This isn’t a normal situation.

But you gotta trust me that I’ve got

it under control on my end.

 

**< 14.50gmt>**

_I guess i never thought i’d be_

_someones dirty lil secret :p_

 

**< 9:53AM>**

I don’t want you feeling that way.

You’re not a secret. This is just temporary,

til the shit storm calms down.

 

**< 14.56gmt>**

_I have my scarlet letter hoodie i_

_will wear it constantly around_

_the streets o’ London_

 

**< 9:58AM>**

Piss off. Feed the sharks, why don’t you?

*laugh emoji*

 

**< 15.15gmt>**

_Sorry man, only jokin. No it’s cool, all G._

_Speaking of, though, did i ever tell you about that girl i_

_was with who kindly intro’d me to her_

_boyf at a house party?_

 

**< 10:23AM>**

What? No, you have NOT told me this

story. Can’t believe you’ve been holding

out on me.

 

**< 10:24AM>**

Tho,  on second thought, maybe I don’t

want to hear about it? :/

 

**< 15.29gmt>**

_You don’t? Will it ruin my angelic image?_

 

**< 10:32AM>**

Angelic image? Hello? Is this

Timothee Chalamet? I think I’ve

somehow gotten hold of the wrong

person.

 

**< 15.33gmt>**

_Do you want the story or not, Bammer?_

 

**< 10:36AM>**

Lay it on me, Hal

 

**< 15.38gmt>**

_Picture the scene; I’m with this girl,_

_we been hanging o_ _ut a coupla weeks,_

_I’m thinkin she’s maybe really_

_into me, I’m feelin that I’m pretty into her_

_We head out to a house party,_

_I’m dressed fly as fuck_

_really feelin the entire vibe,_

_you know I have my groove on by_

_this stage…_

_next thing she’s leadin me over_

_to the staircase and I’m l_ _ike_

_hell yeah this is ON._

 

**< 15.41gmt>**

_So I’m lookin around checkin if anyone_

_is seein this cos, y’know, I’m thinkin…_

_Well, YOU know what I’m thinkin…_

 

**< 15.41gmt>**

_Anyway, next thing, this guy is all_

_up in my face and I’m like is this_

_some kinda weird threesome sitch she’s_

_pullin here… anyway, no, dude sticks out_

_his hand for me to shake and is like_

_I’m her boyfriend. Nice to meet you._

_Can I get you a drink?_

 

**< 15.42gmt>**

_Needless to say…. I had a mojito. Nice guy._

_*cocktail emoji*_

 

**< 10:47AM>**

~~Why are you telling me this?~~

~~I don’t want to know if you would~~

**< _deleted >_**

 

**< 10:47AM>**

LOL Fucking hell. Only you, T.

Question is, were you down for the

3way? *wink emoji*

 

**< 15.54gmt>**

_THAT is the only question you have from that?_

_Anyway, pleading the fifth…_

_Needless to say, didn’t hook up w/her again._

_God, I made some questionable choices_

_back in the day man…_

 

**< 11:03AM>**

You’re 22. This IS the day

 

**< 16.10gmt>**

_Jesus is that all I am, i feel at least_

_ten years older._

 

**< 11:12AM>**

Gee, thanks, asshole

 

**< 16.15gmt>**

_Anytime, brutha._

_So how is your day shapin up? I’ve press later_

_w/ Rob. But nothin for couple hrs._

 

**< 11:21AM>**

How is old Rob?

 

**< 11:21AM>**

Same here. Not much going on.

There’s an Actor’s Equity lunch this

afternoon. Your mom will be there.

Then the show tonight. Usual grind, you

know?

 

**< 16.24gmt>**

_He's good yea. I mean the press is okay_

_but tonally it's not the same y’kno?_

_Oh thats today - be sure to say_

_Hi otherwise i'll never hear the end of it._

  


_\----------------_

**From: Lauren@PlanB**

**To: TC; RP**

**Subject: Shooting Schedule 24-28 June 2018**

 

Hey Rob, Tim,

Please find attached upcoming shoot sched. You will be remote from the evening of the 24th until late evening (hoped!) of the 27th. Travel and Accom. has been arranged for you and you will get the info in the next couple of hours.

The location is pretty much off the grid so please make sure you let us know of anything you need to take care of during this time. As always happy to support.

Any questions please let me know.

Thanks guys and good luck with the shoot.

 L.

_\----------------_

 

**< 16.35gmt>**

_Oh, dude… I’m goin into the wiiiillllllddddd._

 

**< 11:37AM>**

I’m getting whiplash from this convo.

What’s going on?

 

**< 16.39gmt>**

_I just got latest shooting sched_

_Heading up to Scotland for some_

_remote scene work. NO WIFI. NO CELL._

_I thought Crema was bad…_

 

**< 11:41AM>**

Oh wow, dude. How WILL

you survive? I’ve seen you without

mobile signal. I hope the ADs get

hazardous duty pay.

*laughing emoji*

 

**< 11:42AM>**

When they sending you into battle?

  


**< 16.44gmt>**

_Sunday. Seems like a very noble day to start._

_*crown emoji*_

 

**< 11:45AM>**

True. And the wilds of Scotland.

Not a bad gig if you can get it, man.

 

**< 16.48gmt>**

_Just call me Bear Grylls; drinking piss out_

_my socks._

 

**< 11:49AM>**

Hahaha. I once saw him eat a dead

Skunk. Naaaasty. I don’t know why I’m

laughing my ass off at the idea of you

roughing it like Bear.

 

**< 11:50AM>**

I  couldn’t even convince you

to go on my Vespa adventure.

I’mma have to have a talk with Rob. This

shit will be ripe for the picking. He owes me

since I hooked him up with some premo shit

and he needs to get this on film for my future

enjoyment. *wink emoji*

 

**< 17.06gmt>**

_*middle finger emoji*_

_He’s on my side now, he aint_

_doin shit for you, A._

_It’ll be the making of me._

 

**< 12:19PM>**

Won’t even ask what you had to do

to get into that fucker’s good graces.

But seriously. I’m busting a fucking gut

over here laughing. The idea. Oh shit, what

I wouldn’t give for one of Luca’s flies.

 

**< 17.33gmt>**

~~_You don’t wanna know what i had_ ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 17.33gmt>**

_Yeah, well thankfully be no prying eyes to witness_

_my incompatibility for the elements._

 

**< 17.35gmt>**

_If you’re lucky i’ll take some pics for posterity_

 

**< 12:39PM>**

I’d never forgive you if you didn’t.

 

**< 17.44gmt>**

_Yes you would._

 

**< 17.45gmt>**

_Anyway, dude i gotta bounce. Say hi_

_to my mom for me and i'll chat to you later?_

 

**< 12:46PM>**

~~You know I would~~

**< _deleted >_**

**< 12:46PM>**

Will do. Ciao!


	10. Chapter 10

  
  
\---------------------

 **tchalamet** started following **netflixuk** 2m

 **tchalamet** liked **itsmeben** ’s post 5m

\---------------------

 **Armie Hammer✓** @armiehammer · June 22

Boosie Badazz — Smile to Keep from Crying

\---------------------

 **Armie Hammer **✓**** Retweeted

 **StupidIdjit** @stupididjit · June 22

Don’t forget to write inspirational tweets about love to let

everyone know you’re not getting laid

\---------------------

 **armiehammer** liked **entropicdeath** ’s post 6h

\---------------------

 **Armie Hammer **✓****  Retweeted

 **BowieDaily** @dbowdaily · June 22

I don't know where I'm going from here but

I promise it won't be boring. -   **David Bowie** [ # **quote**](https://twitter.com/hashtag/quote?src=hash)

\---------------------

 **armiehammer** started following **shibarbie,**

 **subdroppe, voodoo** **_doll** and 3 others 5h

\---------------------

 **armiehammer** liked **shibarbie** ’s comment:

Dominance and submission are an intimate binding. 5h

\---------------------

 **armiehammer** liked 7 posts 3h

\---------------------

 **armiehammer** like **him_self** ’s comment:

Even a dom has to study to perfect his craft.

#domlife #shibari #playsafe 2h

\---------------------  
  


**23 June 2018**

 

**< 03.27gmt>**

_A - social meedz - you ok??_

 

**< 6:03AM>**

Struggling. Got any free time

today?

 

**< 11.15gmt>**

_Sure… umm, can you give me an hr?_

 

**< 6:17AM>**

I can leave for the theater early.

Can you do 10 your time?

 

**< 11.18gmt>**

_Tonight? I can do that. You wanna call?_

 

**< 6:20AM>**

~~I need to hear your voi~~

**<** **_deleted_ ** **>**

 

**< 6:20AM>**

Yeah, a call would be great.

 

**< 11.22gmt>**

_*perfect emoji*_

_You call me when you’re free then. I’ll be on standby._

 

**< 6:23AM>**

Thanks, T. Talk later.

 

**< 11.25gmt> **

[ https://youtu.be/BvWefB4NGGI ](https://youtu.be/BvWefB4NGGI)

_Til we can talk, i can cheer you this way xo_

 

**< 06:43AM> **

Don’t know what I did to deserve you,

but thanks, man.

  
  
\---------------------

 **<** **_Incoming call from Armz_ ** **>**

**23 June 2018**

**10.17gmt**

 

<TC> Armie… give me two seconds, I am just about back in the room, don’t go anywhere…

<AH>  I’m not going anywhere. But I can call back-

<TC> No! Nonono… [ _sound of door closing]..._ I’m here, I’m here. Sorry about that. I was just down with Rob and the crew sorting out last minute bits for tomorrow and I lost track of time. Sorry.

<AH> Nah, man. S’okay. Gotta get all your ducks in a row. Just know you’re busy and didn’t want to keep you if you needed to go.

<TC> No, I said I’d be free so I am free. What’s up, man? Are you ok? I thought maybe we could have facetimed or something…

<AH> Yeah, I know. You’re a good egg. [ _sighs_ ] I’m not up to facetime tonight, sorry.

<TC> [ _pause_ ] That’s ok… has something happened? I was a bit worried by your likes and stuff man… I mean, I know it doesn’t always have to mean something but… I mean, I _know you_ , so…  

<AH> You really do. [ _silence_ ] Nothing _else_ has happened, it’s just… It’s just more of the same. It’s stifling and I feel as tied up as the shit I’m liking.

<TC> [ _smiles_ ] I thought that was supposed to _relieve_ the tension, not make it worse…

<AH> [ _laughs bitterly_ ] _Liking_ shit  can only _do_ so much in relieving the tension.

<TC> Ha, _touche_. Fuck man… I mean, have you talked it out with Elizabeth? Or is that still not a wise move?

<AH> No, we haven’t talked. We barely acknowledge each other at the moment. [ _groans_ ] I know something has to give, but fuck it if I even want to broach the subject with her.

<TC> You know you’re gonna have to eventually, right? With regards to how you’re feeling now I mean this shit can’t continue. You’re going to drive yourself crazy with all the stuff you’re not saying. To her, I mean.

<AH> I do know. I just can’t bring myself to care?

<TC> And this is what has you social media emo?

<AH> It’s a lot of things…

<TC> Go on…

<AH> [ _audible deep breath followed by a heavy sigh_ ] I can’t let it go, Timmy.

<TC> [ _..._ ] You can’t let what go?

<AH> Crema. [ _pauses, sounds of shuffling and then his voice seems closer somehow_ ] I was _happy_ then. I’m not… I haven’t been happy like that since. I keep thinking- it’s been two   _years_ , T. Two years and  I can’t shake it.

<TC> [ _low sigh_ ] Armie, I spent almost a year with you after Crema, you _were_ happy since then. Don’t… don’t _torture_ yourself by romanticising it.

<AH> I’m not romanticising it! I guess it just meant more to me.

<TC> Than what? Than it did to me, you mean?

<AH> Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe? If you think it’s so easy to just… to just _move on_ from all of it.

<TC> I never said that. I didn’t say I had- anyway, it doesn’t matter. You don’t think you were happy during promo?

<AH> I was. Tired, but really happy during promo.

<TC> I’m confused - you just said you weren’t happy since Crema?

<AH> [ _snapping_ ] _I don’t know, Tim!_ Maybe it was a different kind of happy. Fuck, maybe I don’t know what happy is or just maybe I _am_ romanticising it. Everything. I don’t know.

<TC> Sorry, Armie, I am just trying to understand-

<AH> I know you are. [ _softer_ ] I know.

<TC> Maybe you’re right. Obviously none of us wanted to leave but… I don’t know man, I guess you just have to bring whatever made you happy there home with you? That’s what I tried to do anyway…

<AH> Did _you_?

<TC> I tried.

<AH> You _tried_? But… you’re happy. You obviously succeeded.

<TC> I don’t suppose we were looking for the same things out of the experience. Or, at least, I don’t suppose we _got_ the same things out of it. I feel like it helped me understand myself better, there were parts of me I was struggling to reconcile before that had taken on an air of naturality in Crema. That brought quite a bit of it’s own sense of fulfilment…

<AH> If that’s true, then I’m… I’m happy for you. I’m glad it could be that for you. [ _pauses_ ] For me, as far as bringing home that _thing_ that made me happy there, I don’t think it’s something I can bottle up and carry with me. Crema for me, instead of reconciling parts of myself, like it did for you, it left me more splintered. It peeled too much of who I was away and half the time I don’t recognise the Armie I am now.

<TC> Have you spoken to Luca about it, maybe he could help? I mean, I guess he’s partly responsible...

<AH> I don’t really blame him, though, but yeah, we spoke.  A bit. But it was so crazy, we never had a chance to really _talk_. I don’t know if this… I don’t think a punch to the chest is going to fix this.

<TC> What about when we went back? Did that help? Did you get any kinda closure or anything?

<AH> Back to Crema? Yeah, I mean. I wanted it to feel like going home, but it didn’t. [ _groans_ ] What should have been _our time_ turned into some weird bizarro world, hall of mirrors clusterfuck. [ _sighs_ ] Which I never did apologise to you for. I know it wasn’t what you were hoping for either.

<TC> I don’t know if I really let myself picture how it would be until we were actually heading there, by which time I was already pretty sure things weren’t going to be quite the same… [ _soft laugh_ ] I remember being worried to go back because I felt like I was almost yet _another_ version of myself and I was scared none of it, the villa, the town, the people would make me _feel_ anything, much less anything that mattered.

<AH> I really hate that all the _baggage_ may have kept you from enjoying it like you should have. Like you deserved. [ _long sigh and a pause_ ] I’m sorry.

<TC> Don’t be. Going back there was an amazing experience and I wouldn’t change it now. It happened as it should. I know this whole adjustment part has been hard for you, Armie,  and I'm not saying it  hasn't been for me, I just think I just had it easier. That’s all. I came back to New York and had the freedom to choose how to continue my life. I am not saying you don’t have that choice, but… You know, if I wanted to pack it all up and move to Europe, I could do it. Nothing is tying me to … _anything_. Maybe it makes it easier when all you have in front of you are options.

<AH> You’re right, T, I know you are. This is my life and I am just going to have to deal with it.

<TC> And it’s a good one but only if you’re happy with it.

<AH> Yeah. I know. That’s what is eating me up. On paper, my life is perfect. I’m living the dream. Pretty shit of me to be this fucking miserable.

<TC> _“Everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold”_

<AH> Shoulda known your philosophical advice would end with Kid Cudi. But fuck if it ain’t true.

<TC> Starts and ends with Cudi. No, but seriously Armz, whats on paper doesn’t mean shit if there is something...  _missing_.  [ _pauses_ ] Y’know, I know it might not be ideal, and maybe would cause more trouble than it solves, but my place is always there if you wanted to go a couple of nights and get some breathing space?

<AH> I appreciate the offer, T. I don’t know how I could ever take you up on that, but thanks all the same. The thought of talking to Liz. Shit, it’s so fucking daunting. I can’t imagine her being receptive to hearing anything I have to say right now.

<TC> _Yeah..._ Is she still mad about ...us-or is this.. Something else? Something more?

<AH> Us? No. I mean [ _coughs_ ] No, not really. Not… it isn’t _all_ about us.

<TC> Oh. okay. Good. I mean, not _good_ , but… good.  Or actually, maybe it’s worse. I don’t know.

<AH> Join the club.

<TC> Well look, if you do need to get away for a night or two just get onto my mom, she has a key she can give you. It would be no problem on our end. If the atmosphere right now is that kinda heavy I don’t really … I dont know, I don’t really like the idea of you sticking it out there. But I know, obviously, the kids… it’s easy for me to say…

<AH> [ _smiling_ ] I appreciate it. I’m sure things will be okay here. I’ll manage.

<TC> You sure? Man, I feel like we’ve kinda bounced off a million topics right now and yet I don’t even know if any of this is helping you at all, I’m sorry man…

<AH> Hey, no. Don’t apologise. I didn’t call to have you fix… Talking to you helps. Trust me. Knowing you listen and don’t judge me. Can’t imagine anyone else willing to do that for me. Means alot, man.

<TC> Dude, this has literally been our lives the past two years, you know I’m always here. And non-judgy. [ _pause_ ] _Wellllll…._ Most of the time, anyway [ _laughs_ ]

<AH> Yeah, yeah. Good for you, I know you _mean_ well.

<TC> Sometimes it can’t be helped, Hammer. You’ve questionable taste that requires my judgement.

<AH> We’ll have to agree to disagree there, _Timotay._

<TC> Well, I will concede you’ve excellent taste in friends. And tracksuits. We can agree there.

<AG> [ _laughs_ ] Fuck you. I’m never living down that tracksuit bullshit.

<TC> Not while I still have breath left in my body, no.

<AH> And I wouldn’t have you any other way.

<TC> Likewise, dude. I am sorry things are a bit shit right now though and I can’t be there. Wouldn’t it be better to just be together, hanging out, so we could talk properly? We’ve been spoilt.

<AH>  We have. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to see your face and that stupid hair. [ _laughs like it hurts_ ] Just to be with you… I mean, to hang out with you, you know.  It’s been too long, T.

<TC> Soon. [ _to himself_ ] Soonsoonsoon.

<AH> Can’t be soon enough. [ _heavy sigh_ ] I hate to say it cause I could sit here and lis- talk to you all night, but I’m gonna have to go.                                                     

<TC> Oh. Yeah. Sure. Of course.

<AH> You ok? I mean, shit, you’re off on your big adventure tomorrow and here I am bogging you down with my shit. [ _pauses_ ] I’d say break a leg, but…

<TC> Knowing me, that’s a viable possibility. That doesn’t matter though, wouldn’t stop me listening to you.

<AH> Let’s not test that theory, alright? Be careful out there and come home- come back in one piece.

<TC> Sure, sure. I’ll text you anyway before I leave, yeah? My last link to civilization.

<AH> You better. [ _laughs_ ] Alright, catch you later.

<TC> Promise you’ll stay away from public transport until I am back?

<AH> Such a fucking mother hen. [ _affectionate sigh_ ] Promise.

<TC> Someone needs to mind you. Good. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Have a blast up there tonight.

<AH> Thanks. Later.

<TC> _Later._

 

< **_call has disconnected_ ** >

 

\---------------------

 **tchalamet:** Video; packing case on bed, throwing jumpers.

 **Caption:** “*Scottish flag*” **Music:** Travis Scott “Impossible”. (via IG stories)

\---------------------

 

**_< 01.03gmt>_ **

~~_Your pain is killing me_ ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

 

**< 01.04gmt>**

~~_I wish i was what you missed from Crema_ ~~

**_< deleted>_ **

_**< 01.04gmt>**  _

_All packed; I guess this is as ready as i'll ever be! *bear emoji*_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If we can encourage anything with this chapter it would be to please visit Timmy's link ;)  
> Happy St Patricks Day!


	11. Chapter 11

 

**24th June 2018**

**< 10.43>**

 

_ <voice message> “Hey Armz, packing up the truck now. Man, I am  _

_ actually really excited about this. We saw where _

_ we are going to be staying and it looks super _

_ cool. I’ll take some shots and send to you when _

_ I am back. Hoping this  will be fun even if it is  _

_ meant to be tough going. Speak to you when _

_ I return to the land of the living. Hope you’re  _

_ feeling better today man, and if you can try and _

_ talk to her. I know it’ll be hard but man you have _

_                                                                         to do *something*. I hate knowing you’re going  _

_                                                                  through this. I’ll be back soon though and I’ll talk to  _

_                                                                         you then. Stay safe, i love you man, speak soon. Peace out” _

 

 

**June 24, 2018**

**9:03AM**

 

< _ voice message _ > Hey, Timmy. I hope you get this 

before you get to no man’s land but in case you don’t, 

know I’m sending nothing but good juju to you and 

the crew. Lean into it and enjoy the fucking ride, man. 

I appreciate the support but keep your head in the game 

and don’t worry about me, okay? I’m gonna miss you, 

my pocket friend. Just- just know I’m there with you in 

spirit. Show ‘em what you got, Timmy Tim. Love ya, dude 

and catch you on the flip side.

 

**< 18.16>**

_ Thanks, man. We are officially in  _

_ Scotland now! This place is  _

_ fucking beautiful. _

 

**< 18.18>**

_ *Photo* _

 

**< 18.18>**

_ Head in the game but heart in  _

_ Crema tomorrow  _

_ *peace & heart emoji* _

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all didn't think we'd find out about a Whatsapp group and not use it, did you? :)

**25th June 2018**

 

**WhatsApp**

**CMBYN**

_Luca, Timmy, Michael, Amira, Esther, Victoire, You_

 

_4th March 2018_

**Esther**

At the bar!

**You**

We lost Tim

**Esther**

***** dance emoji *****

**Timmy**

Sorry guys *prayer hands* blame Pauline! See you tomorrow! *rock on emoji*

**Michael**

The parents are in residence bar. Have fun kids.

**Esther**

@Armie shots! Shots! Shots!

 

_Today_

**Luca**

Felice anniversario! Sending much love to all of you wonderful souls today.

 

———————————

 

**< 10:19AM>**

Hell, can’t believe I forgot. Your last

message made me scratch my head but

Luca sent a message to everyone this

morning and it hit me.

Two years. Man. Happy anniversary!

 

**< 10:27AM>**

I know you heard me say it a million

times in interviews, but I don’t think

I ever really told it to you directly.

 

**< 10:29AM>**

Timmy, man, nothing will ever compare.

The time spent with you on that film was

singular and I can never thank whatever

entity rules this fucking universe for having

granted me the experience and the chance

to share it with you. I know I’m better for it.

 

 

———————————

 

 **armiehammer** started following **plan_b** 1hr

 

———————————

 

**< 1:36PM>**

*Photo*

Wrangling two toddlers.

Not the easiest job. Lol

Lunch at Don Angelo’s and even

tho you're right, it is only a distant

second to the pizza we had in

Crema, it does take me back.

 

**< 2:23PM>**

Pistachio gelato just for you.

*ice cream emoji* *wink emoji*

 

———————————

 

**WhatsApp**

 

**Pesche e Crema**

_Luca, Timmy, You_

 

_Today_

**You**

Happy anniversary, Luc! Can’t believe it slipped my mind. How can it be two years gone already? Timmy’s in the wilds of Scotland but I’m sure he sends his best

**Luca**

It has been a busy two years. We are raising a glass of wine to you boys from Crema

**You**

Saluti! *wineglass emoji*

 

———————————

 

 **itsmeben** replied to **armiehammer** ’s comment: “I’m lucky @armiehammer - i get to come home at night! Those two are

left with only each other for company!! *laugh emoji*”. 20s

 

 **armiehammer** commented on **itsmeben** ’s post: “Internet up there sure seems hit or miss.”. 4m

 

 **armiehammer** liked **itsmeben** ’s post. 4m

 

 **itsmeben** shared a **post** : “Edward and Elio on guitar, 1983 style entertainment” 10m

 

———————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armie photo: Selfie of a smiling Armie with Hops and Ford. The angle is wonky, but their joy is infectious.
> 
> Itsmeben photo: Timothee and Rob sitting cross legged in a tent, Timothee, face hidden by curls, head down, holding a guitar, Rob pointing out chords, clearly teaching him.


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

**26th June 2018**

**< 12:17PM> **

What is it about knowing I can’t

reach you that makes me need to

get in touch with you like my life

depended on it? *laughing emoji*

 

**< 2:53PM>**

Do you ever have one of those days?

Something happens you never

thought could ever happen so you

watch it like it’s a dream? Having

one of those days.

 

**< 2:55PM>**

Hope yours has been good. Can’t wait

to hear about all the mis-adventures.

 _\---------------------_  
_  
_ **itsmeben** : [Video; Timothée, Robert, couple of others. Timothée playing guitar, Rob leaning into him, watching his hands, both singing.]

 _“...You'll learn to hate me_  
_But still call me baby_  
_Oh love_  
_So call me by my name...”_ _  
_ [Timothée looks to camera with a knowing giggle]

 _Video pans away_ _as the boys continue to sing_ _._

  
**_Caption:_ ** _“*giving up acting*”_ **_Music:_ ** _Robert Pattinson “Never Think”. (via IG stories)_  
_  
_ \---------------------

**< 5:03PM>**

~~You took our thing and gave it~~

~~to Rob?~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 5:04PM>**

~~Today of all days, T? I get~~

~~it, time moves on, we have~~

~~to move on, but I just can’t~~

~~believe you would~~

**< message deleted> **

 

**< 5:04PM>**

You know the honeymoon’s

over when you’re replaced

by a fucking sparkly vampire.

lol

 

**_\---------------------_ **

**Armie Hammer✓** @armiehammer ⠐ 26 June

Can't find the exit

*photo*

**_\---------------------_ **

 

  _\---------------------_

**< 08:05pm>**

Bonjour Timothée

I know you're out of contact at

the moment. Nothing urgent, but

Armie did come looking for your

spare key this evening as you said

he might. I hope he’s OK, he said

he was but he looked a little worse for wear.

I gave him the name of my friend,

remember you spoke with him during PS,

to help him manage the demands of the

stage. I hope he is taking care of himself,

he looked very run down. :(

Anyway, just to let you know about your key.

I hope you're having a wonderful time darling.

Speak soon. Love, Mom xoxo

_\---------------------_

 

**< 12:09AM>**

Decided to take you up on your offer.

Things sort of blew up at home so.

Gonna stay at yours for a couple days

maybe. Hope that’s still ok.

 

**< 12:11AM>**

Guess it’s a moot point if you won’t know

i have until you’re back from your adventure.

 

**< 12:14PM>**

~~Wonder if ROB will soon have this privilege~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 12:37AM>**

It smells rank in here. Who goes off in summer

for months and leaves food in the fridge?

*sick emoji*

 

**< 12:39AM>**

~~I don’t know if being here is the best idea~~

~~right now. You’re not here but it feels as if~~

~~you are. Like I can close my eyes and feel~~

~~you next to me~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 12:42AM>**

Good I brought just the thing to hide the smell.

*wink emoji*

 

**< 1:17AM>**

~~Do you wear an R hoodie now?~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 1:31AM>**

~~I used your shampoo and then I used the~~

~~toothbrush you left. Thats not creepy is it~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 2:09AM>**

Do you remember that night in Crema. We’d

been coope d up all day cause of rain and it

was so fucking humid we thought we were

melting and i got the bright idea to go for a

night swim

 

**< 2:10AM>**

you were so up for it. Hopped on our bikes

were covered in mud by the time we got there.

dont remember ever laughing so much

 

**< 2:13AM>**

We stripped down without a second thought

and dove in. remember how cold it was?  

man, it really was heaven till you screamed

like a girl never seen anyone manage to climb

a river bank so quickly

 

**< 2:15AM>**

I was laughing so hard watching you hop around

bare ass naked on one foot screamnig and i

coulndnt understand. When i finally manage

to haul my ass out and get you still long enough

to see the leech attached to the top of your foot

 

**< 2:18AM>**

It was like trying to pull off a blood filled rubber

band. wierdest shit ive ever done. I still see the

bloody little smear it left on the top of your foot.

Its what i saw when we filmed that scene. Its wht

i kissed your foot

 

**< 2:19AM>**

Didnt know if i ever told you that or not. Was the reason.

 

**< 2:43AM>**

~~Your bed smells like you~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 3:05AM>**

But fuck Crema right? Long live the King

 

 **< 21.06gmt>** **  
** _So this won’t send til I am on the way_

_home but i didn't want to forget to say it_

_to you or miss the date! We were driving up and I_

_started to annoy Rob by humming his song (i_

_know, right - i shouldn’t piss him off so soon)_

_*devil emoji*_

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

 

 **< 21.08gmt>** **  
** _Anyway eventually told him i’d stop if_

_he taught me how to play it._

_So past two days he’s been tryin in between takes_

_to get me good at it (it’s no Bach!) and_

_we got some on video today. I don’t know if_

_it’s been posted anywhere_

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

 

 **< 21.09gmt>** _  
_ _But anyway the lyrics made me think of you_

_and the anniversary and how i never really_

_expected ANY of this when I stepped on that_

_plane two years ago_

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

**< 21.09gmt>** _  
_ _But MAN this has been the best fucking trip_

_of my life and that is - without question - 110%_

_down to you, Armie. Seriously. I mean that._

_You made it so easy to be Elio; I can’t thank you enough._

_Sooooo… that video is my gift to you._

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

 

 **< 21.10gmt>** _  
_ _You didn't ask for it and you certainly don’t want it_

_Which is literally the definition of a gift, right? *wink emoji*_

_I miss you man. But I take your wisdom and_

_advice and mentorship into every project I do_

_going forward, man. I mean that._

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

**< 21.11gmt>** _  
_ _And I just wanted to bring some semblance of CMBYN_

_with me into this one._

_I hope Oliver thought of Elio when he heard it._

_“Later”. *peach emoji*_

**_< No signal; Message queued>_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armie's Twitter photo:  
> "/>
> 
> Inspired by:  
> [Sean Bradford - 44th and 8th](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra_Ots2YuRc)


	14. Chapter 14

**27th June 2018**

< **23.23gmt >**

~~_Hey Armie. Ben told us today you’d_ ~~

~~_commented on his insta. I do_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.24gmt >**

~~_Hey. So you saw our pic, pretty cool huh?_ ~~

~~_Ben mentioned that you’d commented_ ~~

~~_and for some reason it made me feel a bit_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.24gmt >**

~~_Ben said that you comm_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.25gmt >**

~~_BEN SPOKE ABOUT YOU TODAY AND_ ~~

~~_I FELT SICK BECAUSE I MISS YOU_ ~~

~~_SO FUCKING MUCH_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.25gmt >**

~~_ARGHHHHHHHH_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.25gmt >**

~~_TIMO WHAT ARE YOU DOING_ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

< **23.25gmt >**

~~_STOP THISSSSS._ ~~

< **Message deleted >**

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter to make up for the lack of posting due to forces beyond our control.
> 
> As always, this is a work of FICTION. We make zero claims for authenticity, nor do we mean harm to anyone involved.

**28th June 2018**

 

< **18.52gmt >**

_Hahahaha, you know what I miss more than_

_you, Armie?_

 < **18.52gmt >**

_You when you are fucking high :D_

 < **18.52gmt >**

_I am laughing so much at that story man,_

_Oh my god - reliving that pain!!_

 < **18.52gmt >**

_Also how long did it take you to type out_

_because if i remember correctly_ __And i do, btw -_ _

_your eyes would barely be open at that stage_

_Hahahahaha._

 < **18.52gmt >**

_Fuck me, man, it's so good to be back in_

_the land of communication._

**< 18.55gmt>**

_Are you free for a quick chat??????_

  


**[12 Messages Received: Timmy]**

 

**< 2:06PM>**

Welcome back! No worse for wear I hope.

  **< 2:07PM> **

Free as a bird. You up for FT or still have

Scotland smeared all over you?

  


**<** **_Incoming call from tchalamet_ ** **>**

**28 June 2018**

**19.10gmt**

 

<AH> Timmy Tim!

<TC> Yooooo! Dude! Oh boy, this feels fucking WEIRD. I feel like I have been out of … LIFE… for _years_ , man. Everything looks so shiny! And you - look at you - you look like shiny… um, shit _[laughs]_.

<AH> [ _laughs and rubs a hand across the days’ worth of dark stubble on his jaw_ ] Yeah, I know. Not at my peak best. But speaking of _shiny_ \- look at _you_! You do not look like a man that’s been out in the back country for days. Looks like roughing it suited you to a T.

<TC> _[grinning]_ Turns out, I was pretty fucking good at it. It helps that I can get away with not shaving for at least three months before anyone would notice. It’s a small luxury. Everyone else here looks like a study in human evolution.

<AH> Still on that cusp then, huh? Of course you were good at it. What aren’t you good at?

<TC> It is my cross to bear - hey, reminds me, did you get my texts? Man I was so gutted when I realised the dates. I hope you and Luca enjoyed your celebrations. Well, I mean - I know _you_ did anyway _[laughs]_ \- are you still at my place??

<AH> [ _tilts phone away from his face for a moment before shifting back, face somber_ ] Yeah. Yeah, I got them. They were… they meant a lot. Thanks. As for celebrating, again, probably not the best idea. [ _laughs quietly_ ] I’m still here. [ _pans phone around to show the room_ ] You really are a slob, you know that, right? [ _chuckles_ ]

<TC> We can’t all afford cleaners, Mr Hot Shot. Some of us have to do our own dirty work and.. well… some of us are busy. _[giggles]_ . I am just glad the place is still standing. My Mom had already text to let me know you got the key. I was pretty relieved if I’m honest. I was worried about you. _[looks up away from screen]_ Oh, two seconds, Arm- _[screen goes black, only sound of murmuring voices]_ ... _[Screen is lifted again]_ Sorry about that, carry on... _[smiles]_

<AH> Do I need to let you go?

<TC> No, no, sorry they just didn't know I was on the phone, I am still on the bus.

<AH> Oh, wow. I didn’t realise you weren’t _back_ back yet. [ _clears his throat_ ] So, from what I’ve seen it wasn’t _all_ work…

<TC> It was pretty tough going I will have you know, but the days were short enough, we had a lot of time in the evenings. Like in Crema but without the sun or the nice food, or even a fucking bike. So, actually, maybe nothing like Crema _[laughs]_

<AH> No, that’s fucking great, right? Your universe keeps aligning like that for you. I’m… that’s. Yeah, that’s great, dude. [ _sighs, rubs his face_ ] I’m happy this is going well for you. I really am.

<TC> Armie, you know I can see you, right?

<AH> [ _scrunches up face_ ] Of course I know you can see me. What the fuck, T? I can see you too. What about it?

<TC> Well, y’know when your words don’t match your expressions it is kinda difficult to hide. Are you annoyed at me, or something? _[drops voice]_ Do you not want me to mention Crema any more?

<AH> [ _under his breath_ } _Shit._ [ _takes a deep breath before blowing it out in a groan_ ] No, I’m not annoyed with you. It’s not… it’s not even to do with Crema, really. [ _looks down at the floor_ ] I’m sorry, T. I don’t even know what my problem is. It would be great if you could just ignore me being an asshole for the foreseeable future.

<TC> _[softly smiles and tilts his head into his palm]_ Well, I mean I have had _plenty_ of practice with that in the past couple of years so I am sure I could manage…

<AH> [ _stares at his phone for an uncomfortable length of time_ ] I know. [ _his voice low, soft_ ] Why do you put up with me?

<TC> Must be my messiah complex kicking in. I don’t know, Armie, maybe it's because underneath it all you’re actually - surprisingly - really good fun a lot of the time. [ _grins_ ] Whenever you’re in a mood, it also helps me to think of you the day of the dancing and use that as a gauge as to how to proceed…

<AH> My horrible dancing. What? How does that in any way help you ‘gauge how to proceed’?

<TC> Because you nearly fucking ATE me that night, no other mood on the planet can be as bad as the one you were in that day. If I sense it is anywhere close, I know to make a hasty - but noble - retreat.

<AH> [ _laughs in spite of himself_ ] I wasn’t _that_ bad. I mean, the dancing was fucking horseshit, but I thought I handled it better than that, man.

<TC> Armie, _[laughs]_ , you told me to go fuck myself in at least four different languages. I sense you might have blocked out the pain of it all - perhaps you should go to a therapist or something. Actually, no - no - for the sake of our friendship, its better you remain amnesic.

<AH> Fucking hell. Well, on behalf of the dick I don’t remember being- I apologise.

<TC> No need, dude. I loved ya anyway.

<AH> The feeling is entirely mutual. [ _sighs_ ] I do know I’m lucky to have you, know that right? I’m shit at showing it- obviously- but yeah. It means a fucking _lot._ But- [ _smiles brightly, maybe for the first time_ ] Tell me about your shoot. I have zero fucking context.

<TC> You and me both, man. It isn’t chronological at all, this was _way_ out of sequence - I think these scenes are going to be used almost towards the end. But _[stretches and reclines in the chair]_ the crew, location, availability… We had to just go with it. I dunno, man, I don’t feel great about what we shot, it was so out of tone with what we had just wrapped down south, you’re just putting so much trust into everyone else, you know?  We did a few fight scenes which I thought I would do myself but it turns out whatever bullshit insurance they had for it, it was a no go. So I had a double in for that. It is kinda weird having a double, right? Actually [ _pauses, looks quizzically at Armie]_ how and where the fuck would they get a double for _you_?

<AH> I have zero doubt you rocked that shit, Timo. Never known you not to, even when you’re just standing in the background. But, yeah, I imagine they are gonna want to protect their investment and keep you out of the fray this early on. You’re a hot ticket, whether you want to admit it or not and- well, you’re young, T. I know. I know you hate when I remind you of that shit, but trust me, man. Twenty years from now, when your knees still work and you don’t have to spend half your life lying on the floor because your back’s gone out- _again_ \- you’ll be glad someone else took most of the hits for you. As for me and a double? It’s just a giant sack of cats in a man-shaped suit. [ _winks_ ]

<TC> [ _bursts into laughter, drops his phone]_ Oh, shit! …. Fuuuuuck…. Oh, Armie, dude, you’ve a way with words man. _[looks to the side, still laughing, wipes his eye and lifts his chin in acknowledgement, mouthing “Armie”]_ Yo, Rob says hi, by the way _[flips camera to Rob, peering around the doorway, waving before giving a peace sign and leaving]_.

<AH> Oh? Umm, yeah. Tell him. Tell him I said hey.

<TC> [ _giggles subsiding]_ RP! - he said hey! [ _looks back to camera with a sweet smile]_ Anyway, tell me all _your_ news. You obviously have some because you’re currently taking up residence in my place and no doubt the fumes are keeping the whole building lit.

<AH> Hey. I’m not thoughtless. I opened the window. Besides, a contact high is much more enjoyable than the thought someone had fucking died in this place. Jesus, T. I’m tempted to tell your mother what a slob she raised.

<TC> I think by the cut of me she knows well.

<AH> True that.

<TC> I'll have to ring her when we get back too, though man I am fucking looking forward to a BED, I can’t even begin to tell ya. We slept so badly the past few nights, it was truly a shitshow. I have been dreaming of soft sheets and proper pillows. You know, just like my _deluxe_ not at all ratty ones at home…[ _winks]_

<AH> I do have to admit, for the dirty fucker you are, you do have a pretty sweet bed.

<TC> [ _shyly smiles down at his lap]_ thanks.

<AH> [ _laughing_ ] Are you _blushing_?

<TC> Stop... no… Just, it’s … it’s nothing, no I am glad you are enjoying yourself being there, thats all.

<AH> Okay, sorry. I’ll stop teasing. [ _smiles_ ] But, yes, I am enjoying being here and thanks again for giving me free rein to crash here. Promise, it’s just for a couple of days and then you’ll never know I was here.

<TC> I don’t mind if you leave signs.

<AH> [ _swallows, stares at camera_ ] I’ll leave my leftover stash for you, how’s that?

<TC> [ _makes a face_ ] leftover? Who are you kidding, Armand.

<AH> [ _laughs_ ] Fuck you know me too well. How bout I _buy_ you some, as payment for letting me stay?

<TC> Haha, I will leave that to your discretion.

<AH> You know I’ll take care of you- it. I’ll take care of it and your apartment. I’ll leave it no worse for wear. Promise.

<TC> I trust you. Completely. Anyway _[looks at watch before resting forearm across his head]_ fuck, dude I’ve been on for ages and I still have some stuff to sort out with Joel and the team before we land back so I am gonna go but I will text you later? Is that ok?

<AH> Yeah, of course. I’m free until showtime and then anytime after that. Give me a call or text. Whatever...

<TC> Sure thing - unless I fall asleep in record time which is possible too. I’ve missed you though man, it’s been real getting to see you. Is that weird? Like I don’t see you anyway in London so I don’t know why it felt different.

<AH> No. I totally get it. Felt the same for me, man. It really did. Like you might as well have been on another planet.

<TC> For real though - I think I was. Listen if I don’t catch you later, I will call you tomorrow. Rock the fuck outta that stage tonight.

<AH> Thanks, dude. Take it easy and talk to you later!

<TC> [ _peace sign]_ Later, brother.

 

< **call has disconnected >**

  



	16. Chapter 16

**29th June 2018**

 

**From: Timothée Chalamet**

**Subject: Leading Men**

 Ciao Luca.

How are you? Hope you’re doing good - it’s been crazy here, just back from Scotland - sorry I missed the anniversary, belated toast to you!

Sorry to be bothering you man. _Muvi star_ isn’t doing good. I think we have another situation like before. Any advice?? I am kinda outta depth here….

Talk soon, T.x

  **From: Luca G.**

**Subject: Re: Leading Men**

 Ciao Timothée

I will call you shortly. Better to speak more free. These events are not surprising.

~L

 

\--------------

 **< 11.48gmt>** **  
** _*Photo*_

_Whaddya think of my new kicks?_

  **< 8:17AM>**

Nice. Running with the big dogs now.

*wink emoji*

  **< 13.21gmt>** **  
** _*dog emoji*_

 

 --------------

  **armiehammer** liked **tchalamet** ’s post 4m

 **tchalamet** shared a post: “please don’t touch my Raf” 15m

 --------------

  **Armie Hammer✓** @armiehammer ⠐ 29 June

Chance the Rapper / No Problem

 --------------

 

**< 11:53AM>**

*photo*

Brunch at yo fave.

I’ll just have to eat it all for you.

  **< 17.10gmt>** **  
** _Oh._

 **< 17.10gmt>** **  
** _My._

 **< 17.10gmt>** **  
** _God._

 **< 17.11gmt>** **  
** _Armie, there are things I would do to be there_

_that i can’t even get into right now._

_Follow that up with the Sourdough French Toast_

_and thank me later._

 

  **< 12:49PM>**

I think I hate you. Remind me to never

take your advice again. I never want to

think about food again.

*sick emoji*

  **< 18.01gmt>** **  
** _Armie Hammer, in this house…._

_*middle finger emoji*_

  **< 2:11PM>**

Hahaha, you talk a big game.

 --------------

  **< 19.24gmt>** **  
** _Night shoots are the fucking worst._

_*Photo*_

_Maybe if i hide in this corner,_

_noone will look for me?_

  **< 3:56PM>**

They are the bane of all actors, but Timo.

You do know you’re the star right and there’s

no way your ass could fly under the radar anymore.

Sorry, dude. Suck it up. *grin emoji*

 

 --------------

  **Timothée Chalamet✓** @RealChalamet⠐ 29 June

I really ought to ask

If I need a parachute or something

 --------------

  **< 11:16PM>** **  
** _Hope the show went well tonight._

 **< 11:16PM>** **  
** _By the way, not sure anyone has ever told you this_

_but you make one hell of a house husband_

  **< 11:57PM>**

It was a night that’s about all I can say.

I’m exhausted. All I can think about is that

bed of yours and sleeping for the next 14 hours.

  **< 11:58PM>**

House husband? Wtf are you on about?

For all you know, your place could now look

even more like a crack den fucked a frat house.

  **< 12.01AM>** **  
** _*Photo*_

_Behold the pictorial evidence to the contrary, sir._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Timmy's trainers.](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1lHDIY9LKCQqptqA4lcWv3P2ahBv6KPq8)
> 
>  
> 
> Armie's Twitter Post: [No Problem](https://genius.com/Chance-the-rapper-no-problem-lyrics) by Chance the Rapper
> 
> Armie's brunch spot: [MUD](https://www.newyorkcity.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Bagels-in-NYC-MUD.jpg)
> 
> Timmy's 'night shoot' photo: Selfie, cap pulled low obscuring face. Smirk on face.
> 
>  
> 
> [Timmy's Twitter post](https://genius.com/Frank-ocean-flight-lyrics)
> 
>  
> 
>  Timmy House Husband pic: His bedroom, floor cleared, bed made, Armie’s clothes neatly folded on the chair.


	17. Chapter 17

**30th June 2018**

**INT. KITCHEN - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - NIGHT**

ARMIE walks through the door to find TIMOTHEE in his tiny galley kitchen, ball cap pulled low over his face, messy hair, stubble. They stare at each other for a beat before ARMIE closes the door behind him.

 TIMOTHEE

(shrugs)

Surprise.

TIMOTHEE licks mayo off his fingers and nods to a plate on the countertop with food on it.

 TIMOTHEE

Thought you might be hungry. I know better than to believe you when you say you plan to never eat again.

 ARMIE

(incredulous laughter)

For two seconds, I thought I was having a stroke or something. You’re here. I can’t-

ARMIE rubs his hand across his face, a soft smile on his lips as he stares at TIMOTHEE.

 ARMIE

This doesn’t make sense. _How_ are you here?

 TIMOTHEE

Well, it’s late so I don’t really want to get into the history of modern aircraft, but I can if you want? Or you could just put that bag down and hug a brother??

 TIMOTHEE holds out his arms. ARMIE immediately drops bag and jacket on the floor where he stands, crosses the tiny entryway in less than three steps and wraps TIMOTHEE in an embrace.

 ARMIE

God. I can’t believe it’s really you.

 TIMOTHEE

(lays his head on ARMIE’s shoulder)

Thankfully, there is only one of me. Man, it’s good to be home.

 ARMIE

(squeezes him tighter)

New York is better with you in it, that’s for sure.

 TIMOTHEE

(laughing)

You’re going soft in your old age, Hammer.

TIMOTHEE pulls away, smiling a close lipped smile, before turning his cap backwards and pulling plate towards ARMIE.

 TIMOTHEE

Eat.

ARMIE takes the plate with a quirked brow

 ARMIE

Yes, your Majesty.

 TIMOTHEE

That’s right. Please refer to me as that for the rest of my stay. Thanks again, man, for looking after the place. I mean, I know you’re probably tired but… I am happy to talk? I wanna talk…

 ARMIE

Not gonna happen. (laughs) I should be thanking you, though, for letting me hole up here.

ARMIE picks at the crust on his sandwich, avoiding looking at TIMOTHEE

 ARMIE

There’s a… lot going on, but I really don’t want to burden you with all that. You’ve just flown eight fucking hours to get here, and I _know_ how much fun that wasn’t for you.

 TIMOTHEE

Armie, I flew in _for_ this. It is not a burden at all, I want to be here for you. You are obviously going through way more shit than you were letting on to me, I am not stupid. I just knew I also didn’t want to get into any of it on the phone because… well, I just didn’t. It didn’t seem right, or something.

 ARMIE

No, I know you’re not stupid. I guess I haven’t been as forthcoming as I should have been for the same reason, maybe. Texts and phone calls just aren’t the same as sitting with someone and being forced to look them in the eye. T, man, I just really never knew where to start.

 TIMOTHEE

A comfy seat might help?

**INT. SITTING ROOM - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - NIGHT**

TIMOTHEE and ARMIE are sat on a large grey sofa. ARMIE sits with his legs out in front of him, TIMOTHEE sideways, the tips of his toes touching the side of ARMIEs leg.

 TIMOTHEE

How about you start with why you’re here? We can work backwards.

ARMIE groans and drops his head to the back of the sofa, closing his eyes.

 ARMIE

Shit sort of hit the fan with Liz and umm, she decided it might be best to… leave for a while.

 TIMOTHEE

What? So she isn’t here in New York _at all_?

 ARMIE

Nope. She took the kids and has gone back to LA.

 TIMOTHEE

Shit. I mean… Do you-, Is it-, I mean… wow. Okay. Is this still the same argument as before, or was this something new?

 ARMIE

It was a _lot_ of things. Ten years of things that finally came to a head. I’m not even sure what finally tipped the scales, but it was ugly.

 TIMOTHEE

When did she leave?

 ARMIE

Tuesday.

 TIMOTHEE

Fuck. And did she say when she plans to come back, or…? Will you be heading there?

 ARMIE

No idea. We haven’t even spoken except for her to hold the phone so I can FaceTime the kids. It’s fucked to be honest and I have no idea what’s going to happen.

 TIMOTHEE

Y’know, I figured shit must have been bad because you actually came here - it is hardly the luxury you’re used to - but I thought that Elizabeth would still be in New York, I didn’t for a second even contemplate that this, that any of this, would have happened. I am really fighting the urge to say ‘are you okay’ right now because that would be fucking moronic in the circumstances.

 ARMIE

And to be honest, I wouldn’t know how to answer you anyway? I know… I know coming here seems insane to you- I just. I couldn’t stand being in that big empty place- alone. I didn’t expect her to leave like that. Take the kids and just go? That’s what’s killing me the most. I needed to come here. I’m sorry but I just needed not to be _there_. And another hotel room was only going to make it worse.

 TIMOTHEE

Makes perfect sense. I am glad you did. I mean, if I wasn’t able to be here for you at least I could help in some way. I feel desperately unqualified to offer much more than that right now. So, what was the last thing you guys argued about? The straw that broke it?

 ARMIE

Jesus, what _didn’t_ we argue about? It basically boiled down to the same bullshit it always does. I’m too busy; my mind is always somewhere else. I’m not _available_ to her emotionally anymore. Like what the fuck? I’m stressed beyond anything I’ve ever done before with this play. Which _she_ encouraged me to do by the way. She wants me to play dress up and constantly be at some charity thing or red carpet shit, and I just don’t have it in me anymore. You know that’s never been my scene, but she _never_ gets it. I want to do my thing but it’s constantly _on_ with her. It’s exhausting.

 TIMOTHEE

After the year we had, I can appreciate that it is probably low on your list of priorities, for real, man. That shit is intense as fuck. You don’t have to remind me the stresses of theatre either. Did you get in touch with the guy my mom recommended? I found his techniques to be really useful, as a side note. I mean, I know it isn’t going to help this situation right now but…

 ARMIE

That’s what is so frustrating about this whole situation with her. She was there with us, through all that madness and how by the end of it, we were all done. _You_ get it, T. _You._ But she doesn’t and it’s like she won’t even try? She’s my _wife_ but it feels half the time like I’m working for her. Does that even make sense? God, it’s all so fucked up. Sorry. No, I haven’t gotten in touch with him. I’ve sort of been… wallowing. Surprise, huh? But I will, eventually. I just needed the dust to settle a little first.

 TIMOTHEE

Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Sorry. Fuck me, man. This is insane.  

 ARMIE

Please. No. Do not apologise. Seriously, T. None of this is on you.

 TIMOTHEE

Like, when the play is over and you go back to LA, I mean if you haven’t sorted things before then, then I am sure things will settle back down, right? I mean, you guys are married, you have the kids, it’s not like you’re gonna go back and those facts somehow no longer exist. She will have to meet you halfway eventually?

 ARMIE

Married. (bitter laugh and long pause)

I’m sure witnessing all this has put you off the idea ever getting hitched yourself.

 TIMOTHEE

Granted, you’re not making a compelling case right this moment, but I mean… I am not put off altogether? I guess it is really dependent on the right person. Right situation. I kinda believed you had this shit all figured out so you’re throwing me a bit.

 ARMIE

I thought I had it all figured out, too. But, I’ve come at a lot of this all pretty late in life. Not like you. You’ve got yourself sorted unlike any 22 year old I’ve ever seen. You know yourself better than people twice your age. How- I mean, when did you know?

 TIMOTHEE

When did I know what?

 ARMIE

About… you. Like- jesus. What kind of person you were into?

TIMOTHEE scrunches up his face, confused.

 TIMOTHEE

Like… attracted to, you mean?

 ARMIE

Yes. God, see? This is so fucking _hard_ . I was not bred for this kind of discussion. (coughs) Your sexuality, Tim. How did you _know_?

 TIMOTHEE

Hah- if talking is hard just pretend you don’t know me, I am just another scene partner.

TIMOTHEE shifts in his seat, crossing his legs under him, picking at threads in the cushion.

 TIMOTHEE

Umm.. I mean… I don’t know if it is a thing I suddenly ‘knew’ as opposed to having always known? Like… compared to your upbringing…  I wasn’t really ever told how I should behave or how I should think or- I didn’t have the burden of carrying any kind of name… So the idea of having to question my thoughts or feelings was never really there. At least, not on a wider scale.

 ARMIE

I envy the fuck out of you for that. But I’m also so thankful that you’ve never carried that burden. I think that’s what makes you shine so bright. You lack those shadows. I know your life has been hard in other ways, but for this, yeah. I’m glad you had that, growing up. Because, confronting something like this later in life…

 TIMOTHEE

I am pretty sure confronting it at any stage isn’t easy. Is that-, Is this something that is behind a lot of these arguments too?

 ARMIE

God. I think not in so many words? But- I think so, yeah. From my point of view. Yes. It is.

 TIMOTHEE

Because your stance on it has changed, or…

 ARMIE

(long, really tense pause)

I think so, yeah.

 TIMOTHEE

(softly) Okay.

I don’t wanna pry into more than what you feel comfortable with but-

 ARMIE

Yeah, that’s probably a whole kettle of fish we might not want to get into. Sorry.

 TIMOTHEE

You don’t want to talk about it, or you don’t feel comfortable right now?

 ARMIE

Both? Neither? I think maybe if I _were_ to talk about it, it could only be with you at some point.

TIMOTHEE places a hand on ARMIEs shoulder as he stands up from the couch, looking around the apartment as if for ideas.

 TIMOTHEE

Ok, hold on, wait here.

  
**INT. SITTING ROOM - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - NIGHT**

ARMIE and TIMOTHEE lean against the open window, silhouetted against the city lights. The room is now dark behind them. TIMOTHEE’s face is momentarily illuminated by the flame of a lighter as he lights up. TIMOTHEE inhales deeply before passing to ARMIE.

 TIMOTHEE

Here, this will help.

ARMIE takes the offering and mirrors the deep inhale.

 ARMIE

Thanks. Gotta admit, this beats room service any day of the week.

 TIMOTHEE

It’s part of my plan to start sub-letting the spare room

 ARMIE

The spare room? (laughs) Not enough weed in this universe to pass that room off as anything other than a disaster area. There isn’t even a bed is there? Or is it hidden underneath all the shit you’ve just thrown in there?

 TIMOTHEE

There still isn't? Fuck. I keep hoping it will just materialize without my having to actually do anything. Nevermind… Stop distracting me, Hammer.

 ARMIE

Distracting you? From? (passes spliff)

 TIMOTHEE

You.

 ARMIE

(a beat)

Me. What about _you_?

 TIMOTHEE

We can play deflection all night if you want to? I have patience. But I would rather not have flown in for that. Look, there is zero pressure here, but you know as well as I do that if I get back on that plane again we aren’t going to talk about any of this for another 6 months and, to be honest, Armie, I don’t think you’re gonna make it that far. Something will snap and we’ll all be fucked.

 ARMIE

God. How old are you again? (groans and hangs his head) I know. You’re right. I know you are. This is… hard for me. (closes his eyes) I just… I can’t shake it, you know? Ever since Crema, I feel like I’ve been chasing something. I don’t think it’s that I want to _recapture_ that time, because how could I? How could we? But there was a _feeling_ there that I miss, like a part of me is gone. And if I could just get that feeling _back_ then everything would be okay.

 TIMOTHEE

That safety net? The freedom?

 ARMIE

(nods)

The happiness.

 TIMOTHEE

(bites lower lip)

...And before Crema? You didn’t have that?

 ARMIE

I thought I did because people told me I did. “You’re so lucky” “You’re so blessed” There are parts of it that did- _do_ make me happy. My kids. God, T, I _love_ my kids. But all the other _stuff_ ? It’s not me. I have been swept along for so long I forgot I could actually touch bottom and make my way out of the current. That’s what Crema- you, Luca, that whole experience- reminded me. There’s _more_ to this life than keeping up appearances.

TIMOTHEE nods, puts joint between his lips and reaches over with one hand, placing it behind ARMIEs head, rubbing gently as he inhales.

 TIMOTHEE

Ok, so take me back a little. Growing up - you never questioned yourself at all? Never thought perhaps this wasn’t the life for you?

ARMIE looks out of the window for a couple of seconds before responding, shaking his head gently.

 ARMIE

You know my mother. That was the one thing I was terrified of, growing up- her disapproval. Which, I know, is ironic considering she’s never approved of a fucking thing I’ve ever done. Except for marrying Liz.

ARMIE sighs, his voice dropping to barely audible.

 ARMIE

I think there were moments? The idea floated in my mind, but… I could never have acted on it.

 TIMOTHEE

I can appreciate that. God, what I wouldn’t give for you to have been a rebellious teen on that front. When you got married then, the thoughts went away? Or you just assumed it was no longer an option so no real point thinking about it?

 ARMIE

(scoffs bitterly)

Maybe that’s why I pick fights with bitter Twitter trolls. Working out my mother issues with strangers on the internet.

ARMIE reaches for the joint in TIMOTHEEs fingers before taking a deep hit

 ARMIE

I don’t know if they went away or if I just learned to ignore them better. For a while, that is.

 TIMOTHEE

Until Crema. I guess if you had those thoughts and then were asked to spend day upon day making out with a guy, it’s gonna throw ya a bit, right?

 ARMIE

Something like that, yeah.

 TIMOTHEE

And you told Luca this?

 ARMIE

We talked, yeah. He had an idea pretty early on and that terrified me. Had a lot to do with why I initially thought about turning down the role. We talked about it in pretty vague generalities, but you know how Luca is, he’s so astute in reading the human condition. I’m sure he pulled me in just to study me. (nervous laugh)

TIMOTHEE smiles, slowly exhaling smoke.

 TIMOTHEE

I remember back in one of the first meetings I had with him he said to me that I would have to be prepared for people to question my own sexuality and did I feel comfortable with that and what, if anything, did I want or need his support with. Then he goes to me (imitates Luca) ah! You young kids have labels I don’t even understand, maybe you could help me. (laughs softly) And that was that on the subject. So, yeah. Luca is a smart guy.

 ARMIE

(laughs) I can just hear him. Yeah. As I said, he’s pretty astute. He saw right through my bullshit, that’s for sure.

 TIMOTHEE

I am annoyed at myself that I didn’t.

 ARMIE

Nah, man. It wasn’t your place. You were doing your job. I wasn’t your concern.

 TIMOTHEE

Regardless of that, man, my skills are dropping.

 ARMIE

Are they? I think flying eight hours just because you think I’m not okay would prove otherwise.

ARMIE leans softly into TIMOTHEE, knocking his shoulder.

 TIMOTHEE

Nah, knowing when a brother is down is one thing but, as a theatre kid I should be able to spot gay a mile off… or, y’know, where ever this is on the spectrum.

ARMIE freezes, eyes glued out of the window.

 ARMIE

Wow. I think I might have to sit down.

ARMIE gets up quickly and makes his way to the sofa, folding his head over his knees and takes deep shaky breaths.

 ARMIE

It’s one thing to think this shit in my head, but… to hear it outloud-

TIMOTHEE follows him to the sofa, crouching down at his knee, a hand on his arm.

 TIMOTHEE

Shit - man - sorry, too soon. Too soon. I didn’t mean to overstep, I-

 ARMIE

No. No, hey, it’s okay. Really. I mean, all of this… (waves a hand, generally encompassing the two of them) It’s new. To me. All of it. _Talking_ about any of this. To _anyone_ . (scrubs a hand over face) And I couldn’t have said this all to just _anyone_ , you know that, right?

 TIMOTHEE

 _Right._ No, I know. And I appreciate it, genuinely. I guess it is just something I take for granted - these feelings - that I forget for others it can be hard. Or painful. Or that acceptance comes in stages, because y’know, I never had that really…

ARMIE reaches up with one hand, wrapping it gently around the side of TIMOTHEEs neck before pulling him forward, resting their foreheads together. ARMIE closes his eyes and sighs.

 ARMIE

I love you and appreciate you, more than you know.

TIMOTHEE wraps an arm around ARMIEs head, pulling him into an embrace.

 TIMOTHEE

It’s gonna get easier than this, Armie. You know that, right?

 ARMIE

I hope so. (his voice is rough, emotion-filled and on the verge of tears) I hope so..

 TIMOTHEE

You’re going to be ok. I have you, okay? You’re not alone with it now, I am here. You will work through this - all of this - and I am right here next to you.

TIMOTHEE pulls back from the embrace and gets up, moving to sit next to ARMIE on the sofa.

 TIMOTHEE

I won’t sugarcoat, Armie. This is big. It is going to have impact, there is no point denying that. But to deny yourself? Well, that is just stupid. No one deserves to live like that, in some kind of half life. So, you just need to sit down and really come to terms with this and decide how you’re going to move forward.

Do you chalk it all up to experience, is it something you want to pursue, do you think you could be happy to just acknowledge it finally and work it back into your existing life, or… what. I mean, I am sure that is what you have been thinking about the past couple of days, I am not trying to insult your intelligence.

ARMIE wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sits back on the sofa, a little more deflated than he was before

 ARMIE

You’re right. That’s all I’ve been doing the past couple of days. Trying to imagine what it will be like to go forward with this knowledge just- out there. Not out there, as in public, but out there, in my head. For the first time, letting myself _think_ about it and not let the shame or fear force me to push it back into its cage. As for living a half life? I’ve tried that for the past two years and it’s not working. It can’t work. I don’t know how to make it work because Liz would never understand, nor should I expect her to.

 TIMOTHEE

Again, I wouldn’t know, but I am sure coming to terms with it takes more than a couple of days. And if this is the first time you’re even speaking this out loud then I guess the timer only just started.

I have a question, though, and I don’t want to offend you so please know that no offense is meant before I ask-

 ARMIE

I think it’s safe to say we’ve moved well past being able to offend each other-

 TIMOTHEE

Good, good, yeah. Well I mean, ok so you think that you might be into guys too, right? And Crema kind of brought that to the forefront?

 ARMIE

Ye-es?

 TIMOTHEE

Well, do you think that if it hadn’t been that story - if it hadn’t been Elio and Oliver and if it had been someone else, I don’t know, Ellie and Oliver - do you think that you would have still come to realisations about what you want?

(pauses)

What am I trying to say here… like, could it be more to do with their love story than their gender. I think, I think that’s what I am trying to say. That perhaps _that_ was what was missing. Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to suggest you werent- arent- bi curious or whatever the fuck label we are adding to this for sake of discussion, but that maybe it would have stayed something at the back of your mind rather than forcing its way to the front.

 ARMIE

Honestly? I don’t know. That is a valid question. I’ve played gay before and it never knocked me for a loop like this. But to say if _you_ had been a woman in this story, would it have affected me still? That’s sort of a moot point, though, right? Ellie or Elio. Gay or straight? If it hadn’t been you, would this have even been something I would have thought about? Was it the romance of the whole thing? Am I that vapid that it’s _romance_ I need in my life? I could easily have that, where I am now. I just don’t know.

 TIMOTHEE

I am not suggesting the romance, necessarily, but the bond they had. I mean. People don’t always find that in life, you know? That is more than romance.

 ARMIE

You’re lucky if you find that in life. Should I forget I am questioning everything? Should I keep pretending I’m happy when I’ve never been more miserable? I know it seems sudden to you, but it’s been building a long time. I didn’t know what it was, or what it meant, but even before- before Crema, I had this restlessness. This sense that there were cracks in the facade. I tried, T. I’ve tried so hard to repair them, to keep them from spreading, but the foundation isn’t solid and it’s just all going to crumble around my feet eventually.

 TIMOTHEE

Armie, you do enough acting for your day job, you don’t need me to tell you it’s unhealthy to be doing it at home too.

 ARMIE

I know. You’re right. You’re right.

ARMIE slowly sits up, stretching his arms above his head as he yawns

 ARMIE

Listen, we could talk circles around this all night, but I know how beat I am, your ass must be dragging. Let’s just stick a pin in this and get some rest. Let clear heads prevail.

ARMIE smirks as he reaches for the joint rolling accoutrement on the coffee table, TIMOTHEE offers a small smile in return.

 TiMOTHEE

You sure? Don’t be feeling like you have to stop on my account. But, thanks man. Seriously. I know this wasn’t easy for you and I am honoured you spoke to me about it. I meant what I said about being there for you with this, you don’t have to shut me out or feel alone. I am available to talk about this with you whenever you need it?

ARMIE lights up with the flick and hiss of the lighter before the herbaceous smell wafts between them

 ARMIE

You can’t know how much that means to me. Thanks, man. Really don’t know what I’d do without you.

 TIMOTHEE

You ain’t gonna have to find out.

TIMOTHEE grins a wide, charming, grin as he takes the joint out of Armie’s mouth and puts it between his own lips

 ARMIE

Cheeky. Guess I’ll head back to my place after this? Text me when you’re up and we’ll meet for breakfast?

 TIMOTHEE

Excuse me, Hammer? Didn’t have you down for a hit it and quit it, where the fuck do you think you’re going?

 ARMIE

Hit it and- what are you talking about?

 TIMOTHEE

I only just got here and you’re gonna bounce?

 ARMIE

Well, this is _your_ place. You’re back so I assumed I’d be heading back to mine, you know?

 TIMOTHEE

Assumptions, Armie, assumptions… I mean, you can head back if you want but like… you’re more than welcome to stay here.

 ARMIE

No. That’s cool. I mean- I would really like to stay. Milk every last second of time with you I can

(smiles)

 TIMOTHEE

Well then, that’s settled. Follow me, I will show you to your room.

 ARMIE

You’re fucking hilarious.

  
**INT. MASTER BEDROOM - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - NIGHT**

TIMOTHEE lying on the bed, pj bottoms on, pillow propped up behind him, smoking. ARMIE folds up t-shirt he just removed and puts it on the chair, tutting at the pile of clothes TIMOTHEE has left on the floor. TIMOTHEE grins at him knowingly as ARMIE strips down to his boxers, gets on the bed and takes the proffered joint from TIMOTHEE’s fingers.

 TIMOTHEE

So, next burning question I have for you, Armand.

 ARMIE

Ah, fuck me. I thought I was free at last. I’m afraid to ask, but hit me.

 TIMOTHEE

What did you mean when you said Long Live the King?

 ARMIE

(throws arm across eyes and groans)

In my defense I was high when I sent that.

 TIMOTHEE

You’re high now, so evens.

ARMIE passes joint back to TIMOTHEE and stares up at the lights reflected on the ceiling

 ARMIE

The thing is- you gotta understand, T. I had just had the fight of the fucking century with Liz. She was packing up the kids. I was fucked in the worst way. You were out of reach, it was the anniversary and I’d completely forgotten. A clusterfuck, you know? Everything all at once. Then I saw- I watched that video your pal Ben posted. You were _there_ with Rob and it was our time it felt like you were… like you were rewriting it. It’s why I sent those fucking texts, trying to remind you of _us_. Even though I knew you wouldn’t see them. So, it was my petty ass being petty. Because- I’m sorry. Because I thought you were moving on and it broke my heart.

TIMOTHEE looks at ARMIE fondly, smiling softly. He turns slightly onto his side.

 TIMOTHEE

You know nothing is going to replace Crema for me, right? Until… wherever the fuck Luca wants to set the next one. For fear of giving you a bigger head than you already have, you’re not that easy to replace.

 ARMIE

I know I should trust that. Trust what you say, it’s hard. I’ve never regretted saying anything as much as I did that text after I finally received your messages. I should have believed more in you.

 TIMOTHEE

Let it be a lesson to you.

TIMOTHEE puts the join between his lips, picks up ARMIE’s hand and interlaces their fingers, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

 TIMOTHEE

After tonight? Dude, we’re bonded for life. No Brit, no Aussie, no nothing is breaking that now.

ARMIE squeezes back and folds their gripped hands over his heart

 ARMIE

For life.

TIMOTHEE offers joint back to ARMIE.

 TIMOTHEE

Pour la vie.

 

\------------------------

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This format is hard work!  
> Shoutout to our Elio/Oliver counterpart @Auselysium who is tackling the same monster with our fictional boys :)


	18. Chapter 18

**June 30, 2018**

 

**< 9:11AM>**

_Ah, see, you do hit and quit. :p_

**< 9:11AM>**

_Where’d you go?_

**< 9:14AM>**

Good morning, sleeping beauty.

I’m being the grateful houseguest

and getting us breakfast.

**< 9:14AM>**

~~You looked peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you~~

**< message deleted>**

**< 9:15AM>**

What do you want on your bagel?

**< 9:16AM>**

_#HouseHusbandGoals_

**< 9:16AM>**

_Nutellaaaaa_

 

**< 9:17AM>**

LOL, why did I even ask? Never change,

Sweet T.

*wink emoji*

**< 9:17AM>**

Still take your coffee the same? Or has

the Brit rubbed off and you’d prefer tea?

**< 9:18AM>**

_Actually, could I get a breakfast tea?_

**< 9:18AM>**

_Milk, two sugars?_

**< 9:20AM>**

_Dude, don’t you fucking dare._

_I am joking. Same same._

**< 9:21AM>**

Fucker. For two seconds I didn’t

know you at all.

**< 9:22AM>**

In line, back soon

**< 9:23AM>**

_*peace emoji*_

 

\---------

 

**INT. MASTER BEDROOM - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - DAY**

ARMIE leans against the doorframe, facing into the room. TIMOTHEE is lying prone, diagonal across the bed, sheet twisted around his waist, legs and torso bare. Sunlight streams in through the window, casting a glow across his back, picking up copper tones in the soft curls framing his face.

ARMIE lets his gaze linger for a moment, a soft smile playing on his lips, drawing a sense of comfort from the view.

He makes his way into the room, puts the bag of food and tray of coffees on the side table, before leaning over the sleeping TIMOTHEE.

ARMIE

(softly)

Hey, yo, Timo. Rise and shine.

TIMOTHEE moans gently, turning his head the other way. ARMIE chuckles, sits on the side of the bed, ruffles TIMOTHEE’s hair.

ARMIE

Come on, dude. Coffee’s gonna get cold and I know how you hate that.

TIMOTHEE

Fivemoreminutes

After a beat, TIMOTHEE turns his head into the pillow before bringing his hands to the side of his chest, pushing himself up, first his chest then onto all fours.

TIMOTHEE

Fine, the fuck… I am up.

ARMIE

Oh, now _this_ I missed. Forgot what a horrible morning person you were.

TIMOTHEE

At least _I_ get better as the day goes on.

TIMOTHEE shuffles forward and turns to lean against the headboard. ARMIE follows suit, propping himself up with a pillow.

TIMOTHEE

Give me that coffee. Fuck. I shouldn’t have gone back to sleep. What time is it?

ARMIE

Just a little after 10. Though… that makes it what? 3 in London. You really are a lazy ass.

TIMOTHEE

Well, sure, blame me but I do believe someone, mentioning no names, kept me up talking all night. Even when I said “ _No, please, stop talking_!” it just kept going on and on and on…

ARMIE

Fuck you. You’re the one that kept asking me to pour my emotions all over the carpet.

TIMOTHEE smiles softly before leaning against ARMIEs shoulder.

TIMOTHEE

I know. Thank you.

ARMIE lifts the arm that TIMOTHEE is leaning against and puts it over his shoulder, giving him a brief hug.

They sit in companionable silence as they eat.

 

A short while later;

TIMOTHEE

So, what’s on the agenda today for Armie and Timmy’s Day of Fun? Oh, wait, shit - you have to work.

ARMIE

(speaking with his mouth full)

Nope. Called my director while I was out *cough cough* And begged off. I’m all yours for the foreseeable future.

TIMOTHEE turns to him with a shocked expression on his face.

TIMOTHEE

Armie! What the fuck man, you can’t be doing that on my account. What if you get in trouble?

ARMIE

It’s okay. I mean, it’s _not_ , but that’s what understudies are for, right? I just… you know. You aren’t here for long. It’s been so long since we’ve just had a chance to hang out and I- I could use a day, you know?

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, no. Last night was a lot, I guess... I actually don’t really blame you for needing some time.

ARMIE

I would have liked for you to see me in it now, to give me some technical pointers or let me know if it’s improved since previews, but I really don’t think my head would have been in the game. It hasn’t been all week to be honest. After last night, though. I feel pretty scattered.

TIMOTHEE

I have been reading the reviews, I have faith you have been nothing short of amazing.

ARMIE gives TIMOTHEE an incredulous look before pushing him over on the bed.

ARMIE

Whatever, Mr Oscar Nominee.

TIMOTHEE

Whaaaat? I am being fucking serious

TIMOTHEE sits up and pushes ARMIE back.

ARMIE

Yeah, yeah, alright. Don’t make me have to hurt you.

TIMOTHEE

(pauses before smirking)

Promises, promises.

\---------------------

 

**INT. DINER - DAY**

A waiter brings two large plates of food over to a booth in the back corner of a quaint diner. ARMIE and TIMOTHEE sit, caps pulled low over their faces. TIMOTHEE tilts his chin up in acknowledgement as the waiter approaches the table, adjusting his cap as the food is placed in front of him.

TIMOTHEE

Thanks, man. Could I get some extra sauce with that too? Sorry, I should have asked earlier.

The waiter nods, heading back to the kitchen. ARMIE gives TIMOTHEE a lopsided smile and shakes his head slowly, evidence that this is a common occurrence.

TIMOTHEE

What?

ARMIE

Nothin’

TIMOTHEE

_What?_

ARMIE gives a small laugh. TIMOTHEE mutters under his breath before smiling sweetly, turning his attention to the returning waiter.

TIMOTHEE

Thanks again, man. Appreciate it.

(to Armie)

Fuck off, you. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, I mean, I said this earlier but, dude, you look so much better today. I think last night helped.

ARMIE

Yeah, no. I know it did. I do feel… lighter? Is that the word? I don’t know. It’s a cliche, I know, but it does feel like some sort of weight is gone now. Though-

I look at myself in the mirror and I’m not sure who I see there anymore.

ARMIE swirls his glass, ice rattling.

ARMIE

Am I still...me?

TIMOTHEE

You’re more you today than you were last time you looked in a mirror, that’s for sure. I am really proud of you, by the way. I am not sure I said that last night. The conversation gets a little hazy, excuse the pun, once we went to bed.

ARMIE

(laughs through a watery smile)

That means a lot. Even if you did say it, can’t say I’ll get tired of hearing it. But you know, I owe _you_ so much, right? So much, T. You heard me. You saw me. Across the fucking Atlantic, and you _knew_ I was in a bad way. That you- (clears his throat) No one’s ever been there for me. Not like that. _No one._

TIMOTHEE

Nothing you wouldn’t do for me, Armie.

(pauses)

It’s weird, you know, I think back to when we first met and it blows _my fucking mind_ to realize there was a time when we weren’t friends. I just can’t even picture it now, it is such a foreign concept. I hope that we will always be this close and there for each other because I appreciate your friendship more than you can know too.

ARMIE

I can’t imagine my life without you, Tim. Seriously. You are stuck with me for life. If I have to tie you down to keep you by my side, don’t think it’s not above me to do just that.

ARMIE winks with a grin, putting another forkful of food into his mouth. TIMOTHEE coughs, almost choking on the water he is drinking.

TIMOTHEE

W-o-w, okaay Armie, this suddenly took a turn I wasn’t expecting. We got dark!

(laughs)

I know I am lucky that Luca was as genius as he was to pair me up with someone like you so… I won’t take that for granted.

ARMIE

Maybe we should send Luca a fruit basket or something.

TIMOTHEE

How very Stepford Wife of you.

ARMIE

Not entirely an idea I’m unfamiliar with.

(coughs)

But we really are lucky that universe lined up the way it did. Would never have worked with anyone but you.

TIMOTHEE feigns nonchalance, shrugging, small pout playing on his lips.

TIMOTHEE

I guess I am a pretty good kisser, you got lucky, you’re right.

ARMIE

Were you? I mean, I guess I’ll have to take your word for it, since I have zero experience in that particular category in which to compare.

TIMOTHEE

(mocking)

Ihavezeroexperienceinthatparticularcategory

Anyway, before I take offense, how are you feeling today now about the rest of the … shit?

ARMIE

That _is_ the million dollar question.

(sighs)

How horrible of a person does it make me if I say I haven’t even thought about the rest of it?

TIMOTHEE

Doesn’t make you a horrible person at all. You have to look after you, first and foremost. You’re going to be no good to anyone else if you can’t even focus on the basics, are you?

TIMOTHEE motions with his fork to his food

TIMOTHEE

Wanna try some?

ARMIE reaches across the table and helps himself, offering his own plate in return which TIMOTHEE declines with a smile

ARMIE

How did you get so smart?

(chews thoughtfully)

You’re right. I know somewhere inside you are, it’s- I feel like I’m failing a lot of people. Selfishly. Like why the fuck can’t I just be satisfied with what I have. Be _grateful_ for this life. There’s a lot of people less fortunate and here I am whining I’m not _happy_. It really is sort of disgusting of me

TIMOTHEE

Is that you speaking, or your mom?

ARMIE places his fork in his plate and looks out the window for a long moment.

ARMIE

 _Ouch._ Yeah, okay. That sounds _exactly_ like her. _Jesus._ I’ve probably heard those exact words from her more times than I can count.

(shudders)

It’s insidious, isn’t it?

TIMOTHEE

Being authentic is hard, man. You can be halfway through a life before you realise you’re living it for someone else. You wouldn’t be the first and damn straight you won’t be the last.

ARMIE

Straight now being the operative word.

(winces at his own bad joke)

It _is_ hard to reach mid-life and learn you don’t know yourself at all. That you aren’t the person you always believed yourself to be. Or what everyone _told_ you were and had you believing. It’s actually fucking terrifying.

TIMOTHEE

Lucky for you you’re barely past quarter-life. You’re young enough to fix all this with little regret. You _have_ time, Armie. But yeah, I mean… you grow up being told you are a certain person and you just accept it, right? No questions asked. It’s not until you’re older you realise you’re just shaped by someone else's vision of what you should be.

It is probably why we become actors? Might as well get paid for putting the suit on.

ARMIE

Mid-life, quarter-life, it’s semantics, dude. Whatever I _am_ you would think I’d have my shit figured out by now. That I could have learned not to listen to what people _told_ me about myself anymore.

TIMOTHEE

Why would you have questioned anything when no-one was listening anyway? Hard to get feedback if the only sound you hear is your own voice.

ARMIE

You’re right. Still. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I am thankful not to be alone in the dark anymore though.

TIMOTHEE smiles and reaches over the table to rest his hand on ARMIEs forearm for a split second.

TIMOTHEE

Um, I mean, I hate to bring this up again, man, but what about Elizabeth? Does she have any idea, do you think? I mean, presumably you haven’t told her any of this?

ARMIE

This?

(bitter laugh)

Yeah, no. There’s no way I could say any of this to _her_ . The problem- our problems are enough without adding this to the list. She would never understand. And, honestly, I can’t _blame_ her, but yeah. No.

TIMOTHEE

What about after Crema? If she noticed you had… _changed_ … she didn’t ask why?

ARMIE

I don’t think she ever really noticed? She was pregnant and Hops was a handful. It was easy to maintain the facade of happy happy. It was _too_ easy. We both had roles to play and we played them to the letter. Perfect life. On paper we couldn’t have been more perfect, but there’s only so much weed and liquor a man can use to hide who he is.

TIMOTHEE

Cue tracksuitgate.

ARMIE

God. Who takes a cry for help and turns it into a commercial opportunity?

TIMOTHEE

Someone who doesn’t realize you’re crying for help, I guess. Not to be devil's advocate here, Armie, but you can’t work that long on the perfect disguise only to be annoyed if people buy it. That’s exactly what you wanted.

ARMIE

You didn’t buy it.

(beat)

I know you’re right. I expect people to _get it_ without actually ever having to let them know what is going on with me. My expectations are too high. I always felt like these people in my life should _know_ me, but when I don’t know myself that’s not a fair game I’m playing.

TIMOTHEE

It sure isn’t. So, when she found the texts and all that … _fucking crazy_ bullshit, she didn’t genuinely suspect anything? I mean, not with me, obviously, I mean in general, about you? She was just mad that someone might _think_ there was something, _think_ that you weren’t this happily married 110% straight guy?

ARMIE

Not… She doesn’t think there’s something going on _between_ us, but- she

(hard swallow)

I think she might think that you. That you might have a crush on me.

ARMIE holds his hand up to stop TIMOTHEE from speaking.

ARMIE

Look, I told her she was _way_ off base. That’s a ridiculous idea, it’s just… I don’t think she could wrap her head around- or justify _why_ we were texting that shit.

TIMOTHEE sits stunned for a couple of seconds, his face visibly paling, he adjusts his cap and clears his throat.

ARMIE reaches over and covers TIMOTHEEs hand with his own.

ARMIE

Hey, Tim. It’s okay. I told her she’s wrong. She’s got it wrong. She just wanted someone to blame. She knows it isn’t true. I’m sorry. Shit, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.

TIMOTHEE smiles a half smile before removing his hand, pulling at his hoodie.

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, yeah, no. No, it’s fine. I mean, the text I sent, obviously that could be misconstrued, I-, like-, we’ve already been over that so… It’s fine. Honestly.

ARMIE

I can see it isn’t fine, but I promise I set her straight. She had it all wrong and I made sure she knew it. You know how she is, you’re right. It’s about appearances and she is horrified by the idea someone could think there was anything _lurid_ going on. Like, she actually said she was worried someone would hack my phone? Like I’ve been sending you dick pics or something. It’s ridiculous. That whole convo was out of context and was nothing but two idiots taking the piss.

TIMOTHEE laughs softly, his demeanour relaxing. He takes a large drink of water before pushing his almost empty plate to the side, motioning to a passing waiter for the bill.

TIMOTHEE

I suppose she was trying to flatter you, I guess. I mean, to suggest that you are even my type in the first place.

ARMIE

Wow. Really? Way to kick a man while he’s down. You could have at least left me guessing instead of slamming the goddamn door in my face.

(laughs)

The waiter returns and puts the bill down on the edge of the table before clearing their plates. ARMIE picks it up but TIMOTHEE grabs it out of his hand.

TIMOTHEE

Fine. I am buying you dinner, you can call it a date and _don’t say_ I wasn’t a gentleman.

ARMIE laughs, sliding out of the booth.

ARMIE

Who wants to date a gentleman?

TIMOTHEE

Rumour has it, _you_ wouldn’t mind trying.

TIMOTHEE grins as he throws the money on the table before getting up and following ARMIE to the front of the diner.

TIMOTHEE

Quick question. Since you’re playing hooky and I fly back to London tomorrow, the plan is to drink our weight in wine, liquor and spirits tonight, right?

ARMIE

Oh. Without a doubt. You will be in sooo much pain on your way back tomorrow. I guaranfuckingtee it.

TIMOTHEE

_Hella tight._

They leave the diner, playfully pushing one another out of the door.

  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

 

**INT. SITTING ROOM - TIMOTHEES APARTMENT - NIGHT**

Pizza boxes litter the coffee table, there are remnants of cigarettes in the ashtray. Two empty wine bottles, a third almost finished.

ARMIE sits, relaxed at an angle, on one side of the sofa, TIMOTHEE is lying supine, his legs resting over ARMIEs knees.

ARMIE leans forward, briefly, draining the last bottle by topping up their glasses, handing one back to TIMOTHEE and reclining once more with a smile.

ARMIE

So, it seems it’s time the tables were turned a bit, _Monsieur Chalamet_. I’ve literally opened a vein these past two days. Your turn.

TIMOTHEE takes a gulp of wine, winces slightly in anticipation for ARMIEs questioning.

TIMOTHEE

Oh boy…. Okay. Should I be scared?

ARMIE

NoPe. I’ll take it easy on you. For now.

TIMOTHEE

Right. Go for it. I'm all yours.

ARMIE

Ooo, this was way too easy

(rubs TIMOTHEES calf briskly)

Okay, we’ll ease into this with a softball- when was  your first kiss?

TIMOTHEE

Oh. This is easy. Okay. I was 14. It was…. Disastrous, as these things are wont to be.

ARMIE

Yeah, first times never go like we think they will.

TIMOTHEE

No… (pause) And why do people pretend like it isn't their first time anyway? That only serves to make it more embarrassing…. They be like, this guy has done this before, this is as good as he gets…

ARMIE

(laughs)

I never thought of that, but you’re right. We shoot ourselves in the foot before we even get a chance. We are fucking idiots.

TIMOTHEE

And you?

(giggles)

Did you guys start young on the island just for shit to do?

ARMIE

Haha, it was hot. We all ran around practically naked and I’ve been a horndog since I could walk so what do you think?

(laughs)

I thinnnnnnk my first _real_  kiss, I was probably 12?

TIMOTHEE

12, wow. I think I know the answer but was it any good?

ARMIE covers his mouth with the back of his hand, belches and laughs, shaking his head

ARMIE

Oh, god no. I don’t even remember her name, just that it was awkward as fuck. Still though...didn’t keep me from trying again. And again. And again.

TIMOTHEE looks down at his glass, slowly swirling his drink.

TIMOTHEE

It’s funny, I nearly gave it up. You know…? Like, maybe girls just aren't it for me kinda thing and… I was almost ready to write it off completely but… things happen, more kisses come your way…

ARMIE

I totally get that, dude. Looking back on it now, I wonder- I wonder if maybe I could have ever thought it was the _girl_ in the equation that was the problem. Not _that_ particular girl, just girls in general. I’m not making any sense. But it’s… it’s interesting to imagine the chance- yeah, that maybe at some point in my life, I’ll get that ‘first kiss’ experience all over again. I mean, kissing you wasn’t kissing _you._ You were Elio and I was Oliver

ARMIE shrugs, seemingly oblivious to his stating of the obvious.

TIMOTHEE

Well… You _might_. I guess until then you just have to make do with facsimile versions

ARMIE

(smiles softly)

Alright, so we agree first kisses suck. What about other firsts?

TIMOTHEE pauses and pretends to think, a small smirk plays on his lips.

TIMOTHEE

Um, I ate my first Yorkshire pudding—

ARMIE rolls his eyes to heaven, dropping his head back on the sofa.

ARMIE

Oh, for fuck’s sake, you’re hilarious, you know that? Your _first time._ Sex. I’m talking about sex here, dude.

TIMOTHEE

(innocently)

Oh? Oh you are?

(laughs)

I know I know, sorry….umm, I was… 18? 17? 18? Maybe I was both… Happy birthday, Timothée.

ARMIE

Now _that_  is a gift! I counted myself lucky just to get a stupid fucking card.

TIMOTHEE

It’s not so much that as just noone wants to spend more money after Christmas….  Anyway, yeah, it was… _Good._

I was fucking useless, don't get me wrong, but fuck if it didn't feel amazing.

ARMIE

Did you… were you in love with...her? Him?

TIMOTHEE

I was. Her. Yes. Or, at least, I was in as close to love as I understood back then. I, I don't think I'm really built for the whole sleeping around thing. No judgement or anything, whatever you're into, it's just not it for me.

ARMIE

Wait. So. All those screaming fans and all those nights in strange hotels all over the world, you what? You never- just hooked up with someone?

TIMOTHEE

Is that… Is that weird?

ARMIE

No! No, it’s not weird at all. It’s… unusual? I mean, anyone looking at you, T, would believe you had everyone falling all over themselves to get to you. Just most in that position, I’m ashamed to say, I _know_ they would, take advantage of that.

TIMOTHEE

I, um, I dunno. I don't know if I would be able to get out of my own head enough to enjoy it if I was constantly trying to work out their ulterior motive. That is, the ones who aren't blatant from the outset.

ARMIE

Most people could give two shits about motives so long as they can get their dicks wet.

ARMIE lifts TIMOTHEEs legs from his own before standing up and moving to the kitchen. He returns with another corked bottle of wine and refills their glasses.

ARMIE

I’m gonna have to readjust some of my views, I think

TIMOTHEE

In what way?

TIMOTHEE tilts his head towards his refilled glass with a “Thank you”.

ARMIE

In understanding it isn’t _jus_ t about getting my dick wet. And- in how I see you.

TIMOTHEE

You were with Elizabeth like, most of the time, though right? I'm sure that's not quite a groupie deterrent but it's a handy way of keeping your dick, um, dry.

ARMIE

True. Though the temptation is mighty at times. I really hate to imagine if I were in your position- single, young. I know myself well enough to know I would not be proud.

TIMOTHEE

There is always temptation, I'm not blind to it, I just know it wouldn't be worth the inner self loathing.

ARMIE

You’re a good man, Timotay.

ARMIE holds up his glass in mock salute, reaches over for TIMOTHEEs ankles and repositions his legs across his.

ARMIE

Okay, so, we have established you’re not an easy lay, buuuuuut, if you were, what would be your go-to fantasy?

(rests his elbows on Timmy’s shin, chin on hand)

What turns Timothee Chalamet onnnnnn?

TIMOTHEE

HA! No, no way. I am not that drunk yet, Bammer.

TIMOTHEE looks at his glass and at the empty bottles on the table.

TIMOTHEE

Well, maybe I am. But no. Nice try though.

ARMIE

I thought you were 22 not 92. Fiiiine. Sheesh, your sleepovers suck. I guess this is the point where we just do each other’s hair and have a pillow fight?

(laughs)

Okay, so you’ve talked about your first kiss, your first time, both with females, right? I mean, so how… when did you-? Have you, you know?

TIMOTHEE

I haven't had sex with a guy, if that's what you're trying to stammer out.

(smiles)

I've done pretty much everything else but, no, we didn't sleep together.

ARMIE

I’m not _stammering_ . I’m trying not to be _indelicate_. I’m not actually a neanderthal, despite how I look, you little shit.

ARMIE tickles TIMOTHEEs foot until a laughing TIMOTHEE kicks at him to stop.

ARMIE

Alright. But, wait a minute. You haven’t had sex with a guy but you’ve done everything else? What does that even mean? Sex is sex, right?

TIMOTHEE

Is it? Maybe it's just me but I recall there being bases?

ARMIE

So, those aren’t considered sex? I mean did you not c- yeah no, now I’m treading indelicacy and I’m going to shut up now.

TIMOTHEE

No, go on…

ARMIE

 _Jesus_.

ARMIE takes a large gulp of wine before coughing slightly, his face blushing.

ARMIE

Well… were… were orgasms not involved? I mean, I would consider that sex, if two people come together?

TIMOTHEE

Oh. Okay. Well I thought we were just talking _actual_ penetration here…  in that case, then yes, I've had sex with both. Unless they were faking.

ARMIE mutters _penetration_ under his breath before scrubbing  his eyes with the palm of a hand.

ARMIE

I wasn’t aware… I didn’t know there was such a clear distinction or- definition. Good to know, I guess.

Rubbing his foot across the top of ARMIEs thigh, TIMOTHEE laughs gently.

TIMOTHEE

It's OK Armie, there isn't a test at the end. That's just how I see it. So what about you, did we skip over your first foray into manhood?

ARMIE

(groans)

Christ. It was a disaster. I was 15 she was 17. I think? We weren’t even dating and I honestly can’t  remember her name now. It was at a party my sophomore year. We were all wasted and it just sort of happened. The memory is hazy at best and she never even spoke to me again after. All around super awkward, but like you, I _do_ remember it feeling fucking great..

TIMOTHEE

I see you have a thing for the older lady anyway…

ARMIE

Ha. Really working out well for me, isn’t it? Maybe it’s time to not only switch teams, but maybe go for a younger counterpart next time round? Fucking knock my whole world on its head. Why not?

TIMOTHEE

It’s an idea.

TIMOTHEE sobers slightly, once again swirling his drink around in the glass. He downs it.

TIMOTHEE

Help a brother out here though, I'm confused on something…

ARMIE

About?

TIMOTHEE

Well, you're kinda talking in absolutes here… You do realise you're still married, right? Or is this you deciding that… I dunno, there is no going back from this?

ARMIE

Yeah, of course. Of course I know I’m _married._ I’m just… drunk, indulge me a bit.

(shrugs to play it off)

I’m playing with the idea maybe. Seeing if I fit into this skin. It’s so new and I’m freaking out a bit. It’s so _real_. I don’t know.

TIMOTHEE

Oh. Okay. Right. Right.

TIMOTHEE sits up, swinging his legs off ARMIE’s. He reaches over to the table, picking up the fresh bottle of wine and refills his glass. He motions to ARMIE for a topup which ARMIE declines with a smile.

TIMOTHEE.

So, then I have to ask… if you were to go out tonight and hook up with someone, what would you look for? What's your type, if you even know yet…

ARMIE

Wow, way to put me on the spot.

(laughs a little too nervously)

I mean- I don’t know if I’ve gone _that_ far with all of this yet? I don’t normally see men and think ‘I’d hit that’. I think it might have to be more along the lines of… genuinely liking that person. I want a connection that’s more than just the act of … well, of getting my dick wet.

TIMOTHEE sits back in the seat, tucking his legs underneath him. He studies his glass for a moment or two.

TIMOTHEE

So... how do you know you're gonna find that with a guy as opposed to a girl?

Surely there has to have been some guys you've seen that you have thought you might happily spend the next… I don’t know…  48-72 hours fucking?

ARMIE

Okay, wow, that’s an image.

ARMIE takes a long pull from his glass before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

ARMIE

But yeah, fair enough. I mean, sure. Certainly there have been- _are_ \- men I wouldn’t mind _fucking_ , but that would be it, you see? There’s where the hit it and quit it would come in. I’m not looking for- if I were single, that wouldn’t be the experience I’d want. I’m not suddenly this- this person that has finally realised his attraction to the same sex and has the need or urge, to go out and get with everyone I see. I’m too old

(sighs heavily)

No, not old, but I’m settled? If I know who I am now, then I don’t need to sow a bunch of fucking wild oats. I want- I want to spend the next 48-72 _years_ fucking, and talking and laughing, and crying and all the in-between. With someone I connect with in my soul not just my cock.

(drains his glass)

Sorry, that kind of got away from me there.

TIMOTHEE

Armie Hammer the true romantic. No, I get ya. As I said, I don't think I could have a sexual experience with someone I've no emotional connection with. I just kind of imagined if it was a new thing then someone would want to gorge on the experience, you know?

ARMIE

(nods softly)

We’re a pair, aren’t we?

TIMOTHEE

We are certainly that. The frustration is real, man. It would almost be preferable to be an easy lay.

ARMIE

You know what we _could_ do.

ARMIE goes to top up his wine, almost spilling the contents, his inebriation showing. He makes an oops face with a grin.

ARMIE

We could make one of those pacts. Say, in 25 years, whatever, if I have fully embraced my… _gay side_ … and we’re both _sans_ a better half, it’s you and me, babe.

TIMOTHEE

“babe”? Oh, honey, you are gonna have to be more original than that to win me over.

ARMIE

Ooo, right. Rightrightrightright. We’re _romantics_. Completely slipped my mind.

ARMIE turns away from the table, sliding off the seat onto the floor, on one knee in front of TIMOTHEE.

ARMIE

(mock serious)

Will you do me the honor of becoming my plus one in 25 years, _mon coeur?_

TIMOTHEE laughs loudly, unfurling a leg to push at ARMIEs shoulder with his foot.

TIMOTHEE

Get the fuck up.

You might be able to speak my language but I'm signing into no pacts without sample tests. What do you take me for?

ARMIE falls back, exaggerated, placing a hand over his heart, mimicking heartbreak before breaking into laughter and shifting forward into his knees.

TIMOTHEE

That's me. Heartbreaker extraordinaire.

Now get up before you start giving a guy ideas.

TIMOTHEE stands with a smirk, motioning towards the bathroom. He makes his way out of the room, bumping into almost every available surface. ARMIE watches in amusement, TIMOTHEEs inebriated state giving him a jolt of confidence.

Moving back up onto the couch, ARMIE closes his eyes for a second, the room spinning gently, his body buzzing. He reopens them when TIMOTHEE appears back from the bathroom, still swaying.

ARMIE

Ideas aren’t _necessarily_ bad, you know?

If I were to ever, you know. I’d be lucky if it were with someone like you. S’all I’m saying.

TIMOTHEE

What, if you were ever to what? _Fuck a guy_?

ARMIE

Welll, yeah. I could do worse.

(chuckles)

What about you? If I’m _hypothetically_ dtf someone like you, who you gonna hit?

TIMOTHEE

I’ve only really been with one guy so I guess I don’t really have a set type yet. Give me time. Um, but I guess, since… y’know (waves his hand between them) I guess I’d have to go for someone tall now at the very least.

ARMIE

What is this (imitates TIMOTHEEs handwaving) supposed to mean?

TIMOTHEE

Y’know (waves more frantically) like, _this_. Like, Crema. Turns out tall men really kinda do it for me.

ARMIE

Wait. Since _Crema_ , _tall men_ do it for you?

TIMOTHEE

Well, yeah. I mean, when I was younger I was always the short one so most guys were taller than me but by the time I was like… _old enough_ , I had grown quite a lot.

The guy I was with? He was _not_ a tall guy. Handy for the back of cars, but… wouldn’t really do it for me now so much.

Without realising it, ARMIE sits up straighter. He tries and fails to calibrate himself.

ARMIE

So, your ideal would be tall. Taller than you.

TIMOTHEE

Yeah. If _Elio_ learnt and taught me anything, it was that being with someone who makes you feel small… when you’re not… is fucking hot. Like, the original take we did of the Midnight scene, the one where Luca pretty much had Oliver _lose his fucking shit_. Yeah, I mean…

TIMOTHEE raises his eyebrows and pushes his hair back off his face. He sits contemplatively for a beat or two.

TIMOTHEE

I am glad they didn’t run with that one in the end though, I think it made Oliver look even more experienced compared to Elio, right? Like… I know it was hardly his first time, but he didn’t have to be so obviously used to taking the lead.

(grins)

Not that being manhandled wasn’t a trip, of course.

ARMIE

That scene. It was… My nerves-, I think too much of myself slipped through the cracks. Maybe it was less Oliver than it should have been. You’re right I think the _slightly more_ restrained Oliver worked better, but. Knowing it had this effect-

TIMOTHEE

What? That’s gonna be your claim to fame when the fame is all over? “ _Back in my day, I made Timothee Chalamet realise he has a thing for big tall doms”_?

(laughs)

It’s not the worst, I guess.

ARMIE

“Big tall doms”. Son, you have no idea.

 

TIMOTHEE raises his eyebrows questioningly. ARMIE shakes his head softly, before taking a breath.

 

ARMIE

The things I could do to you. If you were so inclined that is. Hypothetically speaking.

 

TIMOTHEE shifts in his seat, suddenly more engaged, a playful expression on his face. He runs his tongue slowly along the corner of his upper lip.

 

TIMOTHEE

(his voice dropping)

I can imagine. You’d have the ropes out in t-minus 3 minutes. Reverse prayer over here, hogtie over there… I know, I know.

ARMIE

You can be blasé about it all you want. There’s more to it than just tying fucking knots and calling it a day. Guarantee you’d be begging for it in the end.

 

TIMOTHEEs eyes flash, his grin drops into a smirk before he playfully claps a hand over his mouth.

TIMOTHEE

Oh, oh, _someone’s_ let Daddy Hammer out his cage.

ARMIE

You are treading very thin ice.

 

TIMOTHEE kicks at ARMIEs leg with his foot with a shrug of his shoulders

TIMOTHEE

Oh yeah? An’ whatchugonnado?

ARMIE sits and stares at him for a beat. His body is still buzzing and he is sure it is not just down to the alcohol anymore. He quickly assesses TIMOTHEEs position, half laying on the sofa, one leg on the floor, the other bent at an angle, legs splayed, his hands clasped across his midriff.

In a move that should be too swift for such a huge man, he lunges forward, grabbing TIMOTHEEs wrists, one in each hand, pinning them above his head, his body almost flush with TIMOTHEEs.

 

ARMIE

Interestingly, I think the question is, what are _you_ gonna do? Hmm?

 

TIMOTHEE gasps gently, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his smiling lips falling open. He glances back his hands, ARMIEs grip sure and firm. TIMOTHEE feels the pull already in his shoulders as he looks back at ARMIE, glancing at his lips with a bite of his own, before making eye contact with the raise of an eyebrow.

 

TIMOTHEE

Challenge accepted.

 

TIMOTHEE shifts his legs, bucking upwards to try and escape.

ARMIE laughs, easily holding TIMOTHEE where he squirms to break free. He brings TIMOTHEEs hands together, wrapping a large hand around both wrists to hold him in place with a feral smile

 

ARMIE

You really are a glutton for punishment.

 

ARMIE reaches down for the exposed skin of TIMOTHEEs midriff and tickles.

 

TIMOTHEE

No! Don’t, don’t, please…!

 

ARMIE laughing, enjoying himself entirely too much, as TIMOTHEE continues to thrash beneath him.

 

ARMIE

What did I tell you about begging?

TIMOTHEE

Stop! Please… please….!

 

ARMIE relents, but doesn’t retreat, hovering over TIMOTHEE, his breathing just as laboured as TIMOTHEEs. A beat as they stare at each other.

 

ARMIE

(voice low, full of heat and warning)

Don’t _start_ what you won't  _finish_ , young Timothee.

 

ARMIE releases him with a soft push and stands up. He appraises TIMOTHEE; breathless, flushed, giggling in between laboured pants, his curls wild around his face. TIMOTHEE stares right back at him. ARMIE smirks with a soft shake of his head and begins to busy himself picking up the empty bottles and glasses from the table.

TIMOTHEE tries to catch his breath, watching as ARMIE retreats to the kitchen. He covers his eyes with his hand and giggles to himself before moving his other hand to his groin, adjusting his erection. After a moment or two, when his breathing is almost back to normal he sits up, runs his hands messily though his hair, before getting up, picking up the pizza boxes from the table and following ARMIE to the kitchen.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to announce posting updates will take a little hiatus for the Easter weekend. Families and obligations, man. But we WILL be back on Monday, so stay tuned.
> 
> Reminder: fiction fiction fiction. We have no idea about their sexual preferences or history whatsoever. We made it up to suit ourselves. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end.

**1 July 2018**

  **INT - KITCHEN - TIMOTHEE APARTMENT - DAY**

 ARMIE is in kitchen, preparing food. White t-shirt, grey cotton sweatpants, bare feet. His hair is messy, three day old stubble covering his jawline. There is a sadness in the set of his shoulders, in the way he moves around the small kitchen area.

TIMOTHEE enters from the bedroom in shorts and an oversized hoodie, looking small, delicate. He takes a seat at the breakfast bar, holding his head in his hands. His voice, when he speaks, is croaky.

 TIMOTHEE

Morning.

 ARMIE

Morning. Remind me, why did we do this again?

 ARMIE fills a glass from the tap with water, passes it over to TIMOTHEE who looks up with gratitude.

 TIMOTHEE

Cheers, man.

 He takes a long drink and some deep breaths.

 TIMOTHEE

Be fucked if I know why we do it. Did you sleep?

 ARMIE

After the room finally stopped spinning. Did you manage to get any? Heard you up a couple of times.

 TIMOTHEE

(shrugs)

May have vomited some, wasn't one of my finer hours.

 ARMIE winces in sympathy as TIMOTHEE shakes his head, a wry smile on his face.

 TIMOTHEE

At one point I got back in the bed and put _your_ hand on my forehead to stop the room spinning. It helped, thanks.

  
ARMIE smiles fondly.

 ARMIE

Hmm, good to know. For the next time. Cause you know, we will never learn this lesson. How are you feeling now? Think you could eat something? Really shouldn’t try to fly on this sort of empty stomach.

 TIMOTHEE

Urgh, I’ll be fine. Maybe an empty stomach is best, knowing me. Are you going to go back to work tonight? Wait, what day is it?

 TIMOTHEE squints, ineffectively looking at his watch for clues

 ARMIE

Yeah, no, it’s Sunday. Thank fuck. I’m too old for this shit. My recovery time isn’t what it used to be

 TIMOTHEE

Old man. Well, I don’t need to leave until 11.30-ish so I’ve a bit of time at least to sort myself. Hey, least we had a good time though, right?

 ARMIE

Absolutely. It was the best. We can’t go so long next time in between getting to hang out. It sucks.

 TIMOTHEE

Yeah.

(pause)

Listen, umm, I kinda wanna… Apologise? For my behaviour last night. From the blur that I remember I think I might have been a bit of a…. dick.

 ARMIE props a hip against the counter

 ARMIE

Nah, man. Listen, it’s all good. I think we probably _both_ may have crossed a line there. It’s fine.

 TIMOTHEE

Well. Maybe. But I didn't mean to mock you or… You know, be some kind of _tease._ I just got a bit carried away.

 ARMIE nods with a shrug before turning back to the toaster as more bread pops out.

  
ARMIE

It’s not like I’m not used to being knocked for some of the shit I do, but. Really. It’s okay. I get it. Drunk shenanigans, man. Forget about it.

 TIMOTHEE

No, I wasn't knocking either… _Fuck._ I… Look, yeah, okay, let's just say maybe we drank too much and leave it there.

 ARMIE

Sounds like a plan. But, I mean, that _is_ what happened. So no worries.

 TIMOTHEE

Yeah.

 He puts his head down on forearms, resting on the table,slowly rocking from side to side.

 ARMIE

You okay?

 TIMOTHEE

Mmmhmm. Yeah…

 ARMIE searches through cabinets, finds what he’s looking for. Places toast on a plate and sits it in front of Timmy along with two ibuprofen

 ARMIE

Eat and take those. I can’t put you on that plane in this shape.

 ARMIE gently runs a head across the back of TIMOTHEEs head, pausing to unknot a curl or two.

 TIMOTHEE

Thanks, man. Didn't realise they made tablets for wine regret. Good to know.

 ARMIE laughs and moves to sit down across from him at the table

 ARMIE

They make pills for everything. Where have you been?

 TIMOTHEE

Living an innocent life.

 TIMOTHEE pops the pills in his mouth with a small grin, downing them with some water.

 TIMOTHEE

Have you rang home yet this morning?

 ARMIE shoves a hand through his hair and sighs.

 ARMIE

I texted. It’s still a bit early, Cali time, but I’ll call later. At least to talk to the kids.

 TIMOTHEE nods, looking down at his plate, picking at the crusts of his toast.

 TIMOTHEE

Are you going to go back to the hotel today?

 ARMIE

I think so, yeah. Seems the right thing to do. Can’t keep my head in the sand forever, you know?

 TIMOTHEE

Yeah. I mean, they might be back today. You never know.

 ARMIE

Sure. (clears his throat) You’re right. It’s a possibility.

 TIMOTHEE nods before looking down at himself. He startles for a moment.

 TIMOTHEE

 _Wait…_ Please tell me _I_ put these clothes on myself?

 ARMIE barks out a laugh and shakes his head.

 ARMIE

You _know_ you’re fucked up when you can’t remember dressing yourself.

 TIMOTHEE

I should make some “I am sorry for ____” flashcards for these kind of nights. _Jesus._

 ARMIE

You didn’t do anything _too_ outrageous.

 TIMOTHEE

That is open for debate.

 ARMIE

It’s my secret to keep

(winks)

 TIMOTHEE groans and pushes himself out of the chair, taking a slice of the toast and putting it in his mouth. He steadies himself as he stands, takes a large bite and throws the rest back on the plate.

 TIMOTHEE

I am going to go in the shower, try and cleanse myself of my sins. Thanks for breakfast, you’re a good da- _nevermind._

 He smirks before making his way into the bathroom.

  
__________________________

  
**INT - JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY**

 Over the loudspeaker, TIMOTHEEs flight number is called. The boys stand, facing each other awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye.

 Eventually, TIMOTHEE rubs the back of his neck with a shy laugh before holding his arms out for a hug.

 ARMIE steps up but he doesn’t smile. He wraps his arms around TIMOTHEEs shoulders and pulls him in tight. TIMOTHEEs hands immediately latch on to the back of his shirt, gripping tightly and ARMIE, lowers his head, pressing his face into the side of TIMOTHEEs neck.

 ARMIE

(soft, low next to Timmy’s ear)

Thank you.

 TIMOTHEE responds by pulling him in a little closer before turning his head to the side, laying it flat on ARMIEs shoulder. ARMIEs hand slips to the nape of TIMOTHEEs neck, sliding into his hair, holding him close. Breathing him in. He doesn’t want to let go. After a minute, TIMOTHEE pulls away slightly, turning his head in towards ARMIEs neck, his eyes lowered. He tilts his head  into ARMIEs palm as his eyes flutter open.  

ARMIE gives him one last squeeze before dropping his arms and stepping back. TIMOTHEE slowly drops his hands, his eyes fixed on ARMIEs lips. He stares for a couple of seconds, his own lips parted, before seemingly returning to himself, clapping his hands to the sides of his thighs, meeting ARMIEs eyes with a tight lipped smile.

 TIMOTHEE

Yeah. So. I guess this is me. I better go.

 ARMIEs shoulders are hunched, folded in on himself as he shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jean. He rocks back and forth on his heels.

 ARMIE

Sure, yeah. Can’t miss your flight. Doubt they’d hold it for even an Oscar nominee.

 ARMIE smiles but it’s as flat as his voice

 TIMOTHEE

Thanks for coming with me. I'll text you. I-, i-, yeah. I dunno, man. Sorry.

 ARMIE

Don’t apologise. It’s… I feel the same. It wasn’t this hard to say goodbye after 14 months together.

 TIMOTHEE laughs softly, picking up his bag and pulling the strap over his head.

 TIMOTHEE

Speak for yourself.

Right, I'm out. You know where I am if you need me, okay? Any time. It's been-... So good seeing you, man. Seriously.

 ARMIE smiles a genuine smile..

 ARMIE

Same, dude. It’s meant more to me than you know.

 TIMOTHEE smiles too but it doesn't quite reach his eyes which are visibly red, glassy. ARMIEs smile drops and when he manages to speak, his voice is rough, edged with pain.

 ARMIE

Don’t. Please

 TIMOTHEE nods with a bite of his lip, unfastens his cap from around his bag strap and pulls it on over his messy curls. Keeping his head low, still nodding he slowly spins on his heels and walks off towards the gates.

 ARMIE watches him go, his chest tight, his eyes burning. TIMOTHEEs halfway to the gate when ARMIE can’t stop himself, calling out-.

 ARMIE

_Later!_

 TIMOTHEE doesn't look back, but raises a peace sign in salute.

 ____________________

  **< 2:13PM>**

You ok? I hated seeing you leave like that.

 < **2:21PM** >

_Me okay._

 < **2:24PM** >

_Goodbyes aren't my forte._

  **< 2:27PM>**

They suck. No lie.

 

< **2:28PM** >

_I'm sure this is wildly inappropriate but_

_I could have happily stayed there._

 < **2:28PM** >

_With you._

  **< 2:31PM>**

~~Come back. Fuck the film and the play.~~

~~We’ll just live in your grubby apartment~~

~~and~~

**< message deleted>**

  **< 2:31PM>**

I wouldn’t have minded.

 < **2:32PM** >

_It's not you I'd worry about._

  **< 2:33PM>**

But. If there weren’t obligations…?

 < **2:34PM** >

_Be fucking sure I wouldn't_

_be sat at this gate_

 < **2:35PM** >

_No obligations… That's a risky_

_route to go down right now…_

  **< 2:36PM>**

True. It’s a moot point anyway.

 < **2:37PM** >

_Yeah. Shame. Work, huh._

  **< 2:38PM>**

Work. Timing. Take your pick.

 < **2:39PM** >

_Maybe for the best._

  **< 2:41PM>**

Is it?

 < **2:41PM** >

_Yeah. Maybe I'm just emotional to be_

_leaving home. Don't mind me._

  **< 2:42PM>**

I’m just emotional you’re leaving.

  
< **2:45PM** >

_That too._

  
**< 2:47PM>**

I dream of the day when there’s no work or

obligations for us to worry about

 < **2:47PM** >

_Well… That day is closer for you_

_than me, old man._

  **< 2:51PM>**

Seriously. I thought we were having a moment

and you gotta bust my balls NOW?

*laughing emoji*

  
< **2:52PM** >

_It's either that or make admissions_

_i_ _shouldn't_

  **< 2:53PM>**

Aw, T. You’re just tired. Your head will clear

once you're back to your routine. This weekend

has been a lot. For both of us.

  
< **2:53PM** >

_Don't patronise me Armz._

  **< 2:54PM>**

Whoa, wait. I’m not. I’m just

  **< 2:54PM>**

I’m just saying that we’ve both been pretty

keyed up this weekend. A lot of new information

to digest. I don’t want you saying something you’ll regret.

 < **2:55PM** >

_Okay. Maybe you're right. Wise._

  
**< 2:59>**

Wise? Hardly.

 < **2:59PM** >

_You're saving us both._

_Talk when I land._

_If I make it._

_Old lady next to me sharing_

_her boiled candy._ _It's helping._

  **< 3:02PM>**

You’re a trooper. Hang in there and let me

know when you land

 

____________________

 

**< 3:49PM>**

Does your doorman side eye everyone like

that or is it just me?

  **< 4:43PM>**

How the fuck did we manage to make this

much mess?

  **< 5:03PM>**

You were here less than 48 hrs. It literally

looked like a kegster happened last night.

  **< 5:17PM>**

The glass rattling from all the wine bottles

as I tossed the trash was probably heard  

three floors down

  **< 5:31PM>**

Why am I texting you this when I know you

won’t get them for hours?

  **< 5:32PM>**

~~I can’t believe you’re already gone~~

**< message deleted>**

  **< 5:32PM>**

~~We didn’t have enought ime~~

**< message deleted>**

  **< 5:32PM>**

You left your A hoodie? Dude. You love that thing.

  **< 5:32PM>**

Want me to ship it back to you?

  **< 5:37PM>**

~~I’m wearing it home. Please say you’ll get it~~

~~the next time we see each other~~

**< message deleted>**

  **< 6:03PM>**

Looks like that’s all this house husband can manage.

I’m tempted to hire a cleaning service as your next

birthday gift

  **< 7:24PM>**

Stopped and got food on the way. Home now.

  **< 7:24PM>**

Looks like they aren’t coming back today.

  **< 7:25PM>**

It’s too big and too quiet here.

  **< 9:46PM>**

I miss you

  
< **05:45gmt** >

_Oh shit, my hoodie *cry emoji*_

_I shouldn't care and yet I do…_

_Reminds me of_ ~~_you_ ~~ _home._

 < **05:45gmt** >

_Don't worry about shipping. I'll survive._

_I braved Scotland wilderness remember._

 < **05:46gmt** >

_I miss you too, man. Back at the hotel now_

_Staying here just the night_

_They upgraded me though_

 < **05:47gmt** >

_*(4) Photo*_

_Check this place the fuck out. Shame_

_it's already tomorrow and I'll literally_

_have time for a half wank and a teeth brushing_

_before I'm kicked out again._

 < **05:47gmt** >

_Shit re: them not coming home yet. :(_

  **< 12:52AM>**

Posh as the locals would say there.

  **< 12:53AM>**

I’d be tempted to forgo the teeth brushing *wink emoji*

  **< 12:54AM>**

Might be good to limit your time there though. Can’t have

you grow accustomed to really living like a King.

  
< **06:16gmt** >

_I took your advice. Didn't do my teeth._

 < **06:17gmt** >

_Going to bed now, chat later, hope ur okay_

_on your own after the wkend._

  ** _<_ ** **1:21AM >**

Looking at time stamps, there is a joke to be made

about stamina there, I’m sure. But it’s late and Imma

cut you some slack

*laughing emoji*

  **< 1:22AM>**

I’m good. Much better than I was, thanks to you.

Get some sleep and talk to you tomorrow

 < **06:23gmt** >

_I waited a good 5 min before I text too *laughing emoji*_

  **< 1:23AM>**

I don’t believe I’d be telling too many people

that little nugget of info lol

  **< 1:24AM>**

Go the fuck to sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T's photos: Gorgeous plush hotel shots, I am sure you can imagine. Alternatively, 3 pictures of where he wishes Armie would fuck him and one where he wants to return the favour.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never did run smooth, did it?

**July 02, 2018**

 

 **tchalamet:** _Video of feet walking down hotel corridor._

 **Music:** _Kid Cudi “By Design”._ (via IG stories)

 

**__________________________**

 

**< 7.56gmt>**

_Time zones can suck my *eggplant emoji*_

 

**< 7.56gmt>**

_*sleep emoji* *sleep emoji* *sleep emoji*_

 

**__________________________**

 

**< 9.35gmt>**

_Can’t concentrate today._

 

**< 9.36gmt>**

_What did you mean the other night when you_

_said you would have to adjust how you_

_see me?_

 

**< 9.45gmt>**

_Sorry. I think I am struggling with_

_the lid on this can. Ignore me._

 

**__________________________**

  


**tchalamet** commented on **itsmeben** ’s post: “bottle of moet 4 *peace emoji*” 7m

 **tchalamet** liked **itsmeben** ’s post: “Rendezvous” 8m

 **itsmeben** shared a post: “Rendezvous” 15m

 

**__________________________**

 

**< 8:14AM>**

Now that is a visual to wake up to *wink emoji*

Gooooood morning.

 

**< 8:16AM>**

Seriously though, I know I probably

managed three times the sleep you did,

but I feel ROUGH

 

**< 8:16AM>**

I am too old for this shit *crying emoji*

 

**< 8:29AM>**

You know I can’t ignore you. And what I

meant was, well I had this image, I don’t know.

 

**< 830AM>**

You’re so free. Open. I thought it translated to

you being free and open in all things. That you would…

that it was the experience you would be after.

 

**< 8:31AM>**

I don’t know. It sounds like I thought you were a

slag, but it’s not that. I didn’t see that it was

connection that made it appealing more than

just getting off.

 

**< 8:32AM>**

Nevermind. It’s too early. I don’t know what I’m saying lol

 

**< 9:37AM>**

*photo*

My bagel is lonely

 

**< 10:26AM>**

Mondays on a subway. The shit you see, man.

  


**__________________________**

  


<09:40PST>

**Yo, A, heads up on the latest**

**news. dont know whats going**

**on with you and your lady but**

**check out the link I emailed ya.**

**Seems they are running with**

**a split. Those pics? Dude.**

**Call me when you have chance.**

 

**< 12:53PM>**

Shit

 

**< 12:53PM>**

Why is this happening to me AGAIN

 

**< 12:57PM>**

Have you heard from Liz? She’s not

answering my calls. Won’t text me back.

 

**< 12:58PM>**

She’s not even been gone a week. Where are

they getting anything about a split? I sure as

hell haven’t said anything.  She’s allowed to

go home without it having to mean anything.

Christ.

 

**< 12:59PM>**

Gdi, how the fuck did they even manage to

get those pics? You KNOW they don’t

mean shit. We were hanging out.

 

**< 1:00PM>**

Fuck, I mean they could post

pics of you and me and make it look

incriminating.

 

**< 1:01PM>**

On my way to a meet and

greet or some shit. Will call asap. Thanks

for letting me know.

 

<10:05PST>

**Rang her earlier but she assumed I was**

**ringing on your behalf so… she is gonna**

**take a while to calm down. Figured**

**she had already talked to you.**

 

<10:05PST>

**You can explain to me why she is home**

**when we talk. Even I have to admit it**

**is unusual. But agree, unusual doesn't**

**mean jack.**

 

<10:06PST>

**They could, and do, post pics to fit narratives**

**But man even you have to see how those**

**ones look given what they think is going on.**

**Anyway, yeah buzz me when you're free.**

 

**< 1:09PM>**

I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK HOW

THEY LOOK IT WAS NOTHING

 

**< 1:10PM>**

Sorry. It’s just such a clusterfuck and

happening at the worst possible moment.

Nick, man, this is the _second time_ FFS

there is NO WAY she’s gonna believe shit

I have to say about any of this now

 

**< 1:11PM>**

FUCK

 

**< 1:11PM>**

Will call.

 

**__________________________**

  


**< 18.15gmt>**

_Hey man, just got my ass handed to_

_me in a meeting about some article_

_or other that's running at home_

 

**< 18.16gmt>**

_Apparently if I am to ‘fly out to comfort my lover’_

_I should give someone a heads up_

_*eyeroll emoji*_

 

**< 18.16gmt>**

_Don't worry, I told them they, of all people,_

_shouldn't believe gossip rags and pointed out_

_they knew I was heading HOME._

 

**< 18.17gmt>**

_I saw bits of it though and, man, it goes in_

_fucking hard on you guys._

_*sad face emoji*_

_Anyway, give me a call when you can._

 

**< 18.17gmt>**

_No rush, just wanna make sure you're_

_okay. Paps man, fucking vultures._

  


**< 1:26PM>**

Hey, T. Yeah. Unfortunately I’ve seen

them and read the article. Sorry it’s put

you in the middle of this bullshit.

 

**< 1:27PM>**

Don’t rile anyone up trying to defend me.

I can make some calls if need be. Just…

I don’t like the idea they’ve now dragged

you into this when you were doing nothing

but helping a friend. I’ll see what I can do

about damage control. Don’t worry.

 

**< 1:28PM>**

I’ll call as soon as I have a spare minute.

Of all days for the shit to hit the fan it

would have to be when I don’t have two

seconds of breathing space

  


**__________________________**

 

**< 19.02gmt>**

_Dude, seriously, no damage control_

_needed this side of the water._

 

 _ < _ **19.02gmt >**

_SO PISSED I had to come back_

_Sorry you’re having to handle this on your own_

 

**< 19.03gmt>**

_Don’t worry about me, just focus on_

_your shit and talk to you shortly xo_

 

**< 19.04gmt>**

_P.s. umm, btw did you just call me a slag?_

_*middle finger emoji* *tongue emoji*_

 

**__________________________**

 

**< 12:47AM>**

Sorry, didn’t get a chance to call. As I knew

it would be, it’s been super hectic here all

day. Hope yours has gone smoother.

Will defo talk to you tomorrow.

 

**< 12:49PM>**

Or I guess, technically, later today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T’s Instagram Story: https://genius.com/Kid-cudi-by-design-lyrics  
> Ben Instagram Pic: King cast pic  
> Armie’s Pic: One lonely bagel on a plate (with Nutella of course)  
> Nicks Link: “Free as a Bird; Cavalry arrives to mend co-stars heartbreak as wife is spotted alone in LA”
> 
> Also, if people don't get the moet reference, 6 is going to be very upset at the waste of skillz.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kingda Ka.

 

**July 2, 2018**

**< 8:36AM>**

Hey, not sure what your schedule is

today. I’m free till showtime. Let 

me know if you have a chance to talk 

at some point.

< **13.45gmt** >

_ Free in around an hour?  _

< **13.45gmt** >

_ Should I be worried?  _

**< 8:51AM>**

An hour works for me. 

**< 8:51AM>**

Nothing to worry about on your end. Talk soon.

< **13.52gmt** >

_ *thumb up emoji* _

—---------------

< **15.03gmt** >

_ Have some time now if you do still?  _

**< 10:07AM>**

Gimme a sec

**< Incoming call from Armz>**

** <July 2, 2018>**

**< 15.11gmt>**

<TC> Hey, good mornin’

<AH> Mornin’, hey. How you holding up? Got your sea legs back yet?

<TC> I'm good, man, I'm good. Crashed out pretty early last night so feeling a bit more human today. How is everything?

<AH> Glad you’re on the mend. Well, I mean, things could be better here, but we should have known, right? Not like we haven’t been down this road before.

<TC> _ I _ should have known. They're always fucking  _ there….   _ I'm surprised you're still talking to me, man, seriously.

<AH> What? Why? Jesus, T, none of this was your fault. Don’t be stupid.

<TC> Seems to me like all I've done since last year is cause you issues and…  I'm so sorry man. Seriously. So so sorry.

<AH> No. That is nowhere close to fucking true. This is not your fault. None of it. If I hadn’t- Look, they’re  _ my  _ issues, okay? Hell, I’m the one that’s got  _ you  _ caught up in this mess.

<TC> [exhales] I dunno, man….

<AH> They’ve set you up to be some kind of ‘homewrecker’ when that is the furthest thing from the truth. You don’t deserve this bullshit. I should totally be apologising to you!

<TC> No, you shouldn't. I'm not stupid Armie, I know how this works and I know how this looks and I did nothing but fucking play right into it. I just didn't  _ think.. _

<AH> We  _ both  _ know how this works. There’s nothing for you to think about. You shouldn’t  _ have  _ to, that’s what I’m saying. My life is a fucking disaster area at the moment and now it’s like you’re being punished for being a good friend in trying to help me out.

<TC> Yeah, well I'm not really feeling the good friend vibe right now but… Sure. So? What's going on? You've at least spoke to Liz, right?

<AH> Not feeling the friend vibe? For fuck’s sake. I can’t… I’m not arguing with you about this. [sighs] If you want to say I sat there while she shouted abuse at me, then yeah, we talked.

<TC> _Shit._ When was this?

<AH> Last night. I’d been trying to get in touch with her all day, but it took Nick to convince her to finally speak to me. For all the good it did.

<TC> Nick had to get involved? Man…. this is [pause] this is  _ big _ , isn't it?

<AH> [pause] Yeah. Yeah, it is. But… it’s not a surprise.

<TC> No? Are you down-playing this for my benefit?

<AH> I’m trying not to. I think… I think maybe it’s just all a shock? I don’t know. Things have been coming to a head for so long, I didn’t expect the detonation to be quite so ...explosive.

<TC> Yeah…  I mean even though we've talked about it over the past couple of weeks, no more so than the other night, man… I don't think I really…  _ Got  _ it. Like… This changes  _ everything _ .

<AH> It’s a lot to take in, I know. Trust me. I feel like I’ve been walking this tightrope for so long, I’m not sure how or where to go from here. [pause] I know I don’t want it to change things with you. I mean, it doesn’t have to. Does it? Paps are always going to be around, tabloids are gonna say what they want, but we’re tight, still, right?

<TC> No, man, I didn't mean it would change things with us. We're good, honestly. I meant for you, with Liz, the kids -  _ especially  _ with them - everything…. Though, I guess in time she will come around. When she has calmed down. She did before?

<AH> God. I think… I feel like I need to come clean here a bit? [pause] There’s nothing for her… nothing for her to  _ come around _ on. I’m done, T.  _ We’re  _ done. We have been for a really long time. I don’t think either of us knew how to face it. It’s not gonna be easy and it’s definitely not gonna be pretty. She wants- she wants six months for ‘appearances’ sake. [voice rough] We’re not coming back from this one, Timmy.

[long pause] Tim?

<TC> Sorry, yeah… I-, umm, yeah. Wow.  _ Fuck.  _ Sorry man, I just… I can't believe…  Are you okay? No, stupid question. Six months…. like, you could sort things out in that time? It is possible? You never know… Wait, [voice hardens slightly]  _ did _ you know? When I was there? Did you know that this was a potential?

<AH> [clears throat] Pretty much. Yeah.

<TC> [exhale] the fuck…

<AH> Look. I know. I  _ know _ this is bad and that I should have told you. Shit, I  _ know  _ I should have told you, I didn’t… I didn’t want you to think that it was somehow  _ because  _ of you. Or, fuck. I don’t know. You just  _ showed up,  _ T, and I was so fucking happy and  _ grateful  _ to see you, I didn’t want to ruin it. I just wanted to be with you- to hang out with you, you know? I’m sorry.

<TC> [softly]  Yeah, no, I get it… it’s just…  I wanted to help, though, Armie. You should have at least given me that.

<AH> You  _ did _ help. I wish- I wish you knew how much. There was nothing more I wanted than- nothing could ever top walking into your place and  _ seeing  _ you there. I felt more  _ home _ than I have for as long as I remember.  _ You  _ did that, T. Without knowing it, you gave me a soft place to land when I needed it most. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.

<TC> Then why doesn't it feel enough?... [pause] Sorry, I'm being selfish here this isn't about me. Sorry. [softly mutters to himself]... I'm glad, I'm glad it helped some.

<AH> You’re not being selfish. I was selfish, not telling you. I selfishly wanted your undivided attention. I selfishly didn’t want  _ our time  _ spent hashing this out. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

<TC> No. Don't be. So…  what happens now?

<AH> With?

<TC> You. Liz.

<AH> For the short term, she’ll be staying in LA with the kids. We’re trying to work out logistics to keep the ‘news’ under wraps. It’s not going to be a whole lot of fun, but not sure how else to manage it all.

<TC> Jesus, how the fuck is this real…?

<AH> I know. I mean, on one hand it’s surreal as fuck, but on the other, it feels like… like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel finally. How horrible does that make me?

<TC> Are you not fucking terrified? Man, I'm sitting here  _ shaking  _ and it's not even my marriage.

<AH> Well, you witnessed what a wreck I’ve been. So you tell me. Honestly? I’m fucking terrified, too. But, Timmy, the alternative scared me even more.

<TC> Yeah, dumb questions, right. I guess…. So, do you think you'd have ever taken the leap if it wasn't for this?

<AH> This? You and me? The pap pics?

<TC> Yeah. Well if they're the main catalyst here… kinda forced your hand.

<AH> She was already gone, T. All the paps did was hurry things along. And get you tangled in a mess you don’t deserve.

<TC> I'm sure it's some kinda karmic retribution….

<AH> For what?

<TC> Inserting myself where I shouldn't, when I shouldn't.

<AH> You didn’t  _ insert _ yourself into anything. You were doing something  _ kind and generous _ . Fuck, I don’t want you thinking… that it wasn’t worth it.

<TC> I don't mean just now, I mean, since the beginning. But look, doesn't matter, we are where we are. I'll take the fall as the homewrecker if I have to. All that really matters is  _ you _ , and that  _ you're _ okay, and that you'll  _ be _ okay, and so will the kids.

<AH> Since the _beginning_? We weren’t supposed to become friends because it might somehow, what? Expedite the end of my marriage?

<TC> That's just it, though, Armie, isn't it? I don't think us being  _ friends _ is the problem here.

<AH> I- I don’t understand. What  _ is  _ the problem, then?

<TC> Me.  _ I'm  _ the problem, my…  my  _ feelings _ are a problem. The fact I keep fucking  _ acting _ on them is a problem. I could have stayed here, maybe gave you a call, but no, any fucking excuse to be wi- _ around _ you. I'm surprised Liz never told me to go fuck myself ages ago.

<AH> Tim. You’ve got this all wrong. You think it’s  _ your _ actions,  _ your  _ feelings that brought this all crashing down. You were just being a _ friend. _ [pause, deep breath] It was never you. Liz never……..Liz never thought it  _ was  _ you. Not really. It was me, don’t you see? Me that couldn’t… that couldn’t let you go.

<TC> But  _ you _ said,  _ you _ said that she thought I had a crush on you, that's why she was so mad before. So how can it not be about me and my fucking inability to just-....

<AH> I know what I said! And she did, she did think that, but she also- she also knew, could see how  _ I  _ felt. But, I set her straight, Timmy. I  _ told  _ her that’s just how you are. You are so fucking  _ full  _ of love and life. You look at everything like it’s all shiny and new. You looked at me that way and she saw. She saw it but she didn’t understand that’s just how you are. With everyone. It’s what I couldn’t deny, about myself-  _ me, Timmy-  _ that slammed the door on my marriage. It’s not- there isn’t room… there isn’t room for three of us in this.

<TC> [long pause, softly] Yeah, that’s just how I-.... [pause] Okay… look, um, man, I need to… I need to go. I-, this call, all of  _ this _ , it's…. I just…  I need to go.

<AH> Yeah, okay. Fuck, just. I’m sorry, T. Just rewind and delete my bullshit. I’m rambling and don’t know what I’m saying. My head’s a mess. I’m sorry. Can you- can we just forget all of this?

<TC> No. [exhale] I don't want to  _ forget _ anything. I just. I don't feel like I can be what you need me to be right now. I need… to go.

<AH> [softly] Sure, okay. I understand. I’ll just- I’ll catch you later, yeah?

<TC> I’ll… text you or something. And, y’know, I'm sorry…  _ again. _

<AH> Nah, man. That’s my line. It’s all good, bro. Have a good night.

**< call disconnected>**

—---------------

< **02.56gmt** >

_ So, turns out i am one of the _

_ worlds worst friends.   _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ I might also be  *tree emoji* *tree emoji* _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ Winning combination _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ Fuck, man. _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ I shouldnt have bailed on you _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ Im sorry _

< **02.56gmt** >

_ But… just sometimes i am so fucking _

< **02.56gmt** >

22!!! _ its painful _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ And i dont know how to deal with shit _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ Any of it.  _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ And pretend like i am not affected _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ By all of this. The good and bad of it all _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ Because i want to be there for you _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ You know that already right? _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ I want to be. _

< **02.57gmt** >

_ But i dont know how to be. _

< **02.58gmt** >

_ Because. _

< **02.58gmt** >

_ Because do i want to be your friend? _

< **02.58gmt** >

_ Or do i want to acknowledge that maybe i cant be? _

< **02.59gmt** >

_ And if i do that, then i fuck everything.  _

< **02.59gmt** >

_ And it still doesnt help you _

< **02.59gmt** >

_ So then what.  _

< **02.59gmt** >

_ I really dont fucking know man.  _

< **03.00gmt** >

_ All i know is right now im here and youre there and  _

< **03.00gmt** >

_ I fucking hate it _

**< 11:53PM>**

You’re the best person I know

**< 11:53PM>**

I need you to stop this though. Stop blaming yourself.

**< 11:54PM>**

That makes two of us

**< 11:54PM>**

Sleep it off. We’ll talk later.

 


	23. Chapter 23

 

**July 3, 2018**

 

 **tchalamet:** _Video out of window, dawn breaking_

 ** _Music:_** _Ty Naps “Shrine”._ (via IG stories)

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**< 8:44AM>**

I know I said we’d talk today, but reading

your texts over, I’m honestly at a loss to how

we go on from here

**< 8:44AM>**

I get that yesterday, all of this, was a lot

for you to take in. To handle, when it’s not

even your place to have to deal with it to

begin with.

**< 8:45AM>**

My marriage. My problem

**< 8:45AM>**

But then I get those texts last night, and

I know you’re high, but fuck, Tim. You’re

giving me whiplash right now.

**< 8:45AM>**

I don’t know where I stand with you from

one minute to the next. You say you want to

be here for me, to be my friend but the next moment

you say you don’t if you can.

**< 8:46AM>**

I’m going through it and all these mixed signals

aren’t helping.

**< 8:46AM>**

I don’t know how to hold back from you because at

this moment, apart from my kids, you are the most

important person in my life

**< 8:46AM>**

I feel like I have to censor what I say to you now

in order to protect you from all of this because

I never want to hurt you, but that’s what I keep doing.

**< 8:47AM>**

Because all I know is I opened a vein for you

yesterday and you ran. I don’t blame you but

I hope our friendship is strong enough that I

can tell you that it fucking hurt.

**< 8:47AM>**

~~I don’t know how to do this if I don’t have you~~

**< message deleted>**

 

**< 10:58PM> <1 Voicemail: Timmy>**

“Hey [ _muffled movement_ ] I know I am a mess...this sort of stuff… i just feel like I am constantly bouncing from emotion to emotion with no safety net [ _more muffled shifting_ ] _..._ terrified…. nothing to ground me and when shit starts to become painful i just… leave. I have to leave. [ _deep sigh_ ] I am hitting a wall here Armz… I can't regulate myself or be mature enough to help you… [ _sound of cigarette inhale, pause, exhale_ ] _fuck_ , that is all I want to do is _help_ you, be there for you through all of this. I mean, this is your _marriage_ for fuck sake. But all I am doing is hurting you when I want to be there for you. I do. It's just… seeing you, then the past couple of days and my initial _reaction_ to those pictures that I'm not…I-, I'm too emotionally invested...struggling with the weight of what this all means…. And _you_ … when you said you think this is just who i am...you don’t even see it, do you?… or don't _want_ to… and that's fine… but maybe it’s best is if I keep some distance and let you work through this with someone who is able to actually help, like Nick, or Ash, or whoever. Someone with only your best interests at heart, because I’m, I’m _so. fucking._ conflicted… [ _inhale. exhale_ ] and I can't guarantee that every time we speak I won't end up doing this again, over and over….’n’ that shits gonna break us, man…. [ _muffled sounds, phone disconnects_ ]”

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's face it, someone had to step in.

 

**July 4, 2018**

< **04.00gmt** >

~~_I already regret my voicemail._ ~~

~~_I don’t want to have space from you_ ~~

**_< message deleted>_ **

< **04.00gmt** >

~~_Its just i  hate wanting to give you everything_ ~~

~~_But being so inadequate that i can't actually give you ANYTHING_ ~~

**_< message deleted>_ **

**_____________________________ **

**Timothée Chalamet✓** @RealChalamet ⠐ **4 July**

**“Freedom lies in being bold.” — Robert Frost**

**_____________________________ **

**< 12:03AM>**

You’re right. It’s probably for the best if we

take a day or two. Nick’s here now so you don’t

have to worry about that city bus or anything.

 

**_____________________________ **

 

< **08.32gmt** >

_Happy 4th. Hope you and Nick_

_get up to something good._

_Take some pics for me._

_Glad to know about the buses._

  ** _____________________________**

 

<2:17PM>

**Heyo, Timo. It’s been a while. Was wondering if**

**you’d have a sec to talk sometime today.**

< **19.56gmt** >

_Yo, N - good to hear from you man._

_Um, today lookin a lil tight cos we already_

_runnin quite late…_

_Wrap early enough tomorrow_

_tho - say 4pm my time?_

 

< **19.57gmt** >

_Is this about A?_

_Is everything okay??_

 

<3:07PM>

**Yeah, man. Everything’s cool. Himself’s**

**being himself, but we’re okay. Just thought**

**we should catch up. 4 works for me. Hit me up**

**when you can. Talk then.**

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to announce, but there will be a short hiatus until next Wednesday, 18 April. Both of us will be out of town for the next week and limited on time to get online. Hope everyone can hang in there with us and know your patience is greatly appreciated.
> 
> peace & love,  
> 6 & moni

 

**< Incoming call from Timothee>**

**< July 5, 2018>**

**< 12:09PM>**

<NDS> _ Ciao, come stai. _

<TC> _ Così così , ciao, _ how are you man?

<NDS> I’m good. How’s filming going?

<TC> Yeah man, its going well. Busy. Long days sometimes but, y’know, all good. How are you finding New York? Did you guys have a ball yesterday?

<NDS> It’s hot and fucking crowded and not a pool in sight. (laughs)

<TC> Ahh, heaven (laughs)

<NDS> You east coaster (teasing) We had a pretty good day. Drink enough beer and nothing can get you down.

<TC> Stayed away from the street food though, I hope?

<NDS> Are you kidding? You know how your boy is with his street meat and dirty water dogs.

<TC> Jesus…

<NDS> Something about old dogs, new tricks?

<TC> Yeah I mean why would he learn, I guess.

<NDS> Seems there’s a  _ lot  _ he needs to learn

<TC> (laughs softly) So, um, was there something in particular you wanted me for, or…? Just catching up? I won’t pretend the timing isn't a little suspicious…. Are you mad at me too?

<NDS> Hey, whoa. No. No way, I’m not mad. And neither is Armie by the way. You gotta know that.

<TC> I was thinking more Liz, actually…

<NDS> Liz is mad at the world right now. There are issues, granted, but I’m non-partisan here, dude.

<TC> There is a part of me keeps thinking I should reach out, apologise… but man, I mean I know that wouldn't be…  _ appropriate _ . But I feel fucking terrible about all of this…

<NDS> You want to  _ apologise _ to Liz? Why do you think  _ you  _ need to apologise to her? You’ve not done anything to her

<TC> Not.. directly, but I haven’t made shit easy either. I am sure Armie already went through the multiple times they’ve fought and my name has been thrown in the mix. I just, I didn’t expect any of this.

<NDS> Well then maybe this  _ time out _ between you two is really for the best, right? If you don’t want to be caught up in all of this, maybe it’s best to exit stage left

<TC> Huh, he told you that too. Yeah, well… it’s not really the getting caught up part that bothers me man, that part is already done.

<NDS> Look, Armie’s my brother, we’re tight and not much that happens with either of us that the other doesn’t know about. He’s hurting and I’m not happy about that. I’m keen to get to the bottom of what is wrong here. And, I only want people that truly have his best interests at heart to stick around. So, what is it about all this that  _ does  _ bother you? It’s not like you  _ have  _ to put up with any of this, you know

<TC> Woah, hold up a second. Dude, are you seriously questioning my loyalty to him right now? Because, I mean, I didn’t realise that was ever up for debate.

<NDS> I don’t know, T. I guess I wouldn’t have thought to ever question it until everything that’s happened in the past couple of days. The mixed signals are fucking him up. You do realise, he’s getting fucking  _ divorced _ but he is more worried about how you are than himself?

<TC> Man, I am not intentionally trying to give mixed signals here. I gave… I’ve  _ said _ too much most of the time and I just try and reel myself back in and… I guess sometimes I don’t do that very gracefully. He should know by now though that I have his back one hundred percent. I don’t know why he would tell you otherwise.

<NDS> (sighs) He’s never questioned that you are there for him. That’s a given, Tim. We  _ all  _ know that.

<TC> So, what, then? I mean, fuck, I am trying my hardest here but I am a 22 year old fucking  _ kid _ who doesn’t know the first thing about relationships, let alone marriage, even less about divorce, and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing. I don’t  _ know _ what he wants from me right now.

<NDS> _ Jesus _ . He doesn’t need you holding his hand and talking him through a divorce. As fucked up as it is, I think that is the one area of his life he has a bit of control over at the mo. You talk about things you’ve  _ said _ that you’ve reeled yourself back on and maybe… yeah, maybe he doesn’t want you holding that back anymore

<TC> Well,  _ maybe _ .  _ Maybe _ it suits him. But man, if I open up to him and have to hear about what a good friend I am one more time I might throw myself off the nearest fucking high rise…

<NDS> You  _ are  _ his good friend.

<TC> _ Okay _ , wow, didn’t know you were gonna be behind me kicking me off, thanks. (laughs)

<NDS> Shut the fuck up. Do you ever hear what he says  _ around  _  his declaration of friendship? Jesus, you two are blind as fuck.

<TC> _ around his declaration… _ ? The fuck you on about?

<NDS> He keeps you in that  _ friend  _ box because… if you read between the lines you could fucking see. Both of you. You  _ aren’t  _ friends. You’ve  _ never  _ been friends. I’m your friend but I’m never worried I have to constantly make that distinction in order to keep anyone from thinking otherwise. I’m his friend, but I’m sure as hell going to sleep on the sofa or in the spare room and not in the same fucking bed when I don’t have to.

<TC> Man, ykno (pauses, sighs) I am sure this is the part of the script where I am meant to say I don’t know what youre talking about, or you have this all wrong, or make some kind of denial but…  _ fuck me, _ I am so tired of pretending. You’re not stupid so I am not going to insult your intelligence here, but…. Look, dude, I’ve already said all this. I said all of this to him, I told him that I-, that I was causing problems for him because I knew I wasn’t just being a good fucking  _ friend. _ You think I don’t know this? He is the one who has to keep putting me back  _ in _ that box when I try and crawl the fuck out of it, so no, there are no lines to read between here, Nick. He knows full well how I feel and … it doesn’t change anything.  So, what alternative do I have but to step back? If you know, please fucking enlighten me.

<NDS> When you said all of this, did it come with the normal backpedaling, or  _ reeling  _ it all back in as you normally do?

<TC> No, the last thing I said to him was that my feelings and the way I act about it all cause problems for him. And he shut me down, put me in the box, told me not to worry he knows I am like that with everyone. So I told him again that I don’t think I am capable right now of helping him because I am too conflicted and invested in…  _ him…  _  and constantly having to censor myself is fucking exhausting. But...look, I  _ know  _ my feelings aren't appropriate, I know it's not the right time, I know… all of this. In my head, my  _ head _ knows all of these things.

<NDS> What a fucking mess. Listen, you  _ know  _ how he is. He gets so wrapped up in his  _ own _ head it’s hard for anything to get through. To be honest, I listened to that voicemail, and I get it. But for him, all he could hear was that you were upset and you need space. When you say you’re too  _ invested  _ and then throw me and Ash in there as consolation in order to help him out, to him, you have sealed the deal on eternal friend-zoning. Armie is  _ terrified  _ of revealing everything to you because, at this point, he  _ knows _ it’s never going to be reciprocated. So he does what he knows best and just shuts it all down.

<TC> _ What _ ’s never going to be reciprocated?

<NDS> _ This  _ is what I’ve been talking about. Fucking hell.  _ Think,  _ Timmy

<TC> Alright, don’t fucking patronise me. I know  _ my _ side of things, you’re the one saying “ _ he knows it won't be reciprocated blahblahblah”...  _ If you’re trying to bullshit me into thinking that he thinks the same way I do then… nah, man, it’s not gonna fly. He would have said it. He is-  _ was _ married, for fuck sake.

<NDS> _ Dingdingding.  _ Now you’re getting close, dude. He’s  _ married.  _ Do you think he would have said anything then? Listen, Armie Hammer is never gonna win Man of the Year, but he  _ is _ an honourable man. He has been  _ struggling _ for a long time, Timmy. I’ve been privy to the personal life gone to shit, but through all of that, there was only ever  _ one  _ bright spot in it for him, outside his kids. Do you want to guess what that was?

<TC> Don't do this, Nick, please…

<NDS> There it is. (sighs) I love you, Tim, you know I do, but I love Armie more. If you can’t or don’t want to step up, then I am begging you to just please let him be.

<TC> Nick, you're acting like he wants this. You don’t  _ know _ \- if you did, it’s ‘cos he said it, and if he said it, he would have told me. And he hasn’t. And I can’t… I can’t take any more risks when it comes to him because the next one I take could potentially ruin it all and I can’t… I can’t do that.

<NDS> You’re  _ sure  _ he hasn’t said it to you? The same way you  _ claim  _ to have said it to him, even though I listened to him all day yesterday  _ insist  _ you could never feel that way about him. That’s interesting, don’t you think?

<TC> I don’t know what you want me to do here…?

<NDS> I don’t want you to  _ do  _ anything. Except maybe consider neither of you have been as cut and dried with the other as you may think you have.

<TC> Okay, fine. Maybe I say things like “I’m emotionally invested in you” or push all of his buttons to the point where he loses it and pin- _ nevermind, _ sure, maybe  _ I  _ haven’t been  _ clear _ .

<NDS> Look, I’m not trying to bust your balls here. I genuinely just want both of you to be happy and I don’t think the status quo is going to cut it anymore for either of you. And, for what it’s worth, he’s been getting it just as bad from me on his end. This isn’t pick on Timmy day for shits and giggles, okay?

<TC> Right. No, man, I’m sorry its just… I am exhausted. My emotions are all over the place and I feel like I’ve been on some fucking never ending roller coaster with him for the past couple of months. But it’s a really old roller coaster. And it’s made of wood. And there are no straps, just a flimsy metal bar and the kid next to me is about to vomit.

<NDS> That’s quite a metaphor you got going  there. (laughs) I get it. I do. I want to say sorry for bringing it all up, but I’m not. I can’t be. This is too important. To both of you, even if neither of you believe it at the moment. I think you both should take the next couple of days, regroup, think about it all and then try to  _ really _ have a conversation. No hiding, just talk and  _ listen _ to what you both are saying instead of automatically trying to excuse it all away

<TC> (pause) What if… what if he doesn't want to hear this? What if I  _ ruin _ everything?

<NDS> Aw, Tim. I think he  _ needs  _ to hear it. The way things are now? Doesn't seem like they could get much worse, for either of you. Look at the two of you. You’re at this standstill now, so how do you imagine you could move past all of this and get back to where you were? If nothing’s  _ changed _ between you two, then why is everything different  _ now _ ? (sighs) Something’s gotta give. (pause) Listen- All I can say is- tell him. You might be pleasantly surprised.

<TC> Fuck... this is crazy...

<NDS> I know it is. But it’s going to be okay. I promise.

<TC> I was not prepared for any of this call, dude. I’m sorry.

<NDS> Hey, no. I guess I should be the one apologising. I mean, I am technically sticking my nose in your business. I just knew, left to how it was all going, nothing was ever going to be resolved. So Nick for the intervention!

<TC> You’re a decent fucking wingman, I’ll give you that. (laughs) No, but seriously though, I mean a lot of this is too soon, I know. I don’t think I should really be saying anything to him right now but… I guess just letting him know I am not going anywhere can’t hurt.

<NDS> I mean, if you want to call two years of pining ‘too soon’ then okay. But yeah, that’s a start.

<TC> Yeah but I mean, Liz and.. Everything he is going through… I know better than to expect anything. But, I think I am ok with that. For now.

<NDS> I know. You’re right. I just wish for a little bright spot for Armz. Things have been rough for him for so long. And I know. I know it’s not your place to make up for any of that.

<TC> Nah, man, I know. He’s lucky to have you man, seriously.

<NDS> I hope you know I’m here for you, too. We’re family, dude.

<TC> Thanks, man. I feel like I have just had a fucking exorcism or something. Warn a brother next time.

<NDS> (laughs) Nah, man. It’s like a band-aid. Just rip the fucker off in one fell swoop.

<TC> Are you going to tell him we talked?

<NDS> Yeah. I’m not going to hide the fact, but he doesn’t need to know what was said. Besides, he got the same spiel from me last night.

<TC> You told him to talk to me? Should I be worried then he hasn’t?

<NDS> I did, but… he thinks he’s honouring your wishes or some shit. Giving you the space you wanted. Like I said, he can’t see the forest for the trees, dude.

<TC> Maybe he is the wise one here. Okay, sure, look I will give him a minute and we will see what happens then I guess. Thanks again man, for your help. Or meddling, whichever it is.

<NDS> (laughs) Sure, yeah. Always glad to butt in. And really, man. Feel free to hit me up if you need to, aight?

<TC> aight, man. Talk to you soon brother

<NDS> Good deal.  _ Ciao _ !

**< call disconnected>**

  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience, guys! <3 Hope this chapter was worth the wait.   
> We are surprised they can still walk across the room in a straight line, the amount they sweep under that carpet.   
> _____________________________

**July 7, 2018**

**< 10:14AM>**

Hey, T. Not sure what you are up to but 

just wanted to pop in. Say hi. Yeah. 

Hope your day goes well.

 

**< 10:17AM>**

No. That’s not true. Wanted to say sorry. 

Hope you’re alright and can catch you 

later maybe.

 

**< 17:51gmt>**

_ Sorry just saw your messages _

 

**< 17:51gmt>**

_ I’m good man, thanks. How you holding up? _

  
  


**< 3:17PM>**

Just wrapped the matinee. I’m ok. Working 

on things. It’s a process. How is it there? 

Filming going well?

 

**< 20:20gmt>**

_ Have you seen the kids yet? _

_ Filming going well, have a couple _

_ of short days coming up which is nice _

_ but I’d rather long ones and day off. _

_ *grumpy emoji* _

 

**< 3:23PM>**

That really does make it a grind. No, haven’t 

seen the kids. The theatre is gonna have a 3day 

downtime next week so Liz is gonna fly them in.

Really looking forward to that. I miss them like crazy.

 

**< 20:25gmt>**

_ Oh wow, dude, that's awesome _

 

**< 20:26gmt>**

_ You’re gonna have a blast with them :) _

 

**< 3:27PM>**

I can’t wait. It feels like years. It’s hard missing someone 

that hard.

 

**< 20:29gmt>**

_ I can imagine. So, things with you and Liz…? _

 

**< 3:31PM>**

Things are… tense. But we’ve moved past the 

yelling to more of a bitter silence and bare 

minimum exchanges as the phone is passed 

to the kids. 

 

**< 20:34gmt>**

_ Fuck man, I hope it’s a bit better in person.  _

 

**< 20:35gmt>**

_ Maybe you could let me know how it goes? _

 

**< 20:35gmt>**

_ I miss our chats. _

 

**< 3:41PM>**

Of course I’ll let you know. I mean

 

**< 3:41PM>**

I was afraid. It felt like maybe you wouldn’t 

want to chat anymore. After

 

**< 3:42PM>**

I’m sorry, T. I was totally out of line and 

overreacting as Nick so helpfully pointed out. 

Which is another thing. I’m really sorry he 

contacted you. I don’t know what he hoped 

to accomplish, but he’s a nosy fucker. So really

sorry if he crossed a line with you or bothered 

you with any of this shit in any way.

 

**< 20:44gmt>**

_ Nah man, don't sweat it. He did  _ ~~_ you _ ~~ _ us a favour. _

_ I was so worried about not being a good _

_ enough friend to you that i was just being _

_ a shit friend. And for that, i am truly sorry.  _

 

**< 3:46PM>**

You really weren’t. I was taking a lot of this

shit out on you it seemed. Misplacing it and 

that was not fair to you. The last thing I want

is distance from you. You’re my main man. 

The whole thing goes to shit without you, dude.

 

**< 3:46PM>**

So we can be cool again?

 

**< 20:48gmt>**

_ Yes please. And if I tell you I need to take space _

_ again, tell me to go fuck myself and _

_ that is not an option. okay? _

 

**< 3:49PM>**

So long as you promise to kick me in the balls 

when I’m being a dick.

 

**< 20:49gmt>**

_ Deal. _

_ So, um, I heard a rumour about you? _

 

**< 3:50PM>**

Well this never fucking bodes well

 

**< 20:51gmt>**

_ I heard you got up close and personal with… _

 

**< 3:53PM>**

...yes?

 

**< 20:54gmt>**

_ ANOTHER fucking street cart.  _

 

**< 20:55gmt>**

_ Will you ever fucking LEARN dude. _

 

**< 3:56PM>**

*laughing emoji* *laughing emoji*

 

**< 3:56PM>**

Nick is worse than a fucking woman. 

Can’t keep his mouth shut.

 

**< 3:57PM>**

But duuuude. It’s so good. Going down. 

*wink emoji*

 

**< 20:59gmt>**

_ Going down is  _ always _ good.  _

 

**< 21:01gmt>**

_ It’s when it comes back up _

_ again you have problems.  _

 

**< 21:02gmt>**

_ Or the alternative,  _

_ when your asshole is ruined. _

 

**< 21:02gmt>**

_ *laughing emoji* sorry, man, sorry... _

 

**< 4:05PM>**

_ Jesus _ . You got me fucking there, dude. 

*laughing crying emoji*

 

**< 4:06PM>**

That’s an image.

 

**< 4:06PM>**

But can’t deny the truth. Wonder what it 

says about me that I keep thinking the 

outcome will ever be different. Must be that 

frontal lobe problem Liz claims I have lol

 

**< 21:07gmt>**

_ Eternal optimist. _

 

**< 4:09PM>**

I believe that’s debatable.

 

**< 21:10gmt>**

_ There is always redemption. _

 

**< 4:11PM>**

Think there’s hope for me?

 

**< 21:11gmt>**

_ You? _

 

**< 21:12gmt>**

_ I believe in redemption, not miracles. _

 

**< 21:12gmt>**

_ *tongue emoji* *wink emoji* _

  
  


**< 4:13PM>**

God, I’ve missed  ~~ you ~~ this

 

**< 21:14gmt>**

_ My unbelievable quick wit and charm? _

 

**< 4:15PM>**

Yeah, among other things.

 

**< 21:16gmt>**

_ If the rest is my wicked personality _

_ after drinks, then you’re in for a treat. _

 

**< 4:18PM>**

Wicked personality, or ability to 

vomit on cue?

 

**< 21:19gmt>**

_ You might get to witness both _

_ Heading out for drinks in around an hour. _

 

**< 4:20PM>**

Oh, yeah? Who’s the lucky bastard

tonight?

 

**< 21:21gmt>**

_ Usual gang. Tomorrow is first short _

_ day so i guess it is any excuse around  _

_ these parts. _

 

**< 21:22gmt>**

_ Hey Nik, just wanted to give u heads up  _

_ A got in touch today. All good,  _

_ we're gonna be good man. I haven't  _

_ said anything - i just want us to  _

_ be back to normality for a while? _

_ Thanks for listening tho dude, seriously. _

 

**< 4:23PM>**

Cool. Should totally enjoy yourself. 

Take advantage while you can.

 

**< 21:25gmt>**

_ I guess it won’t be long before  _

_ you’re out living the single life _

_ yourself, huh? _

 

<1:26PST>

**Good to hear. And glad to help.**

 

**< 4:28PM>**

Jesus, that is the single most terrifying 

thought. I can’t even imagine

 

**< 21:29gmt>**

_ You’ll be fightin em off, dude. _

 

**< 4:30PM>**

I don’t want to fight anyone off. To have 

to learn about someone and try to figure

out each other. It’s not gonna be easy this

time around. It’s not just me that I have to 

think about anymore. I’m going to be a fucking

divorced father. Yeah, that’s attractive. 

 

**< 21:38gmt>**

_ I’ve a feeling 6’5 heartthrob beats  _

_ divorced father. You’ll be fine.  _

 

**< 4:43PM>**

Careful there, Timo. Your kink is showing. 

 

**< 4:43PM>**

Fine or not, it's not something I'm looking forward to

 

**< 21:45gmt>**

_ Mine and 6billion others. _

 

**< 21:45gmt>**

_ No rush anyway, you can just play _

_ the field a while. No strings. _

 

**< 4:49PM>**

Maybe we could double date

 

**< 21:52gmt>**

_ I think people would be on board with your kids _

_ faster than they would your shadow pal  _

_ *laughing emoji* _

 

**< 4:53PM>**

Well too bad. Just like my kids, we're

a package deal

 

**< 21:53gmt>**

_ Too damn right *thumb emoji* _

_ Anyway dude, if someone wants you enough _

_ they will already love everything that comes _

_ with. You just focus on making yourself _

_ happy :) S’all that matters. _

 

**< 4:55PM>**

Thanks, man. We’ll see what happens, right? 

 

**< 4:56PM>**

But what about you? I know you can’t be 

hurting for options.

 

**< 21:53gmt>**

_ Do you actually wanna know or _

_ you being polite? _

  
  


**< 4:59PM>**

Have you ever known me to do anything 

out of politeness? *wink emoji*

 

**< 4:59PM>**

I want to know allll of TChalamet’s secrets

*chin hands*

 

**< 22:06gmt>**

_ Well… you’re gonna be bitterly disappointed. _

 

**< 5:11PM>**

I know casual isn’t your thing, but surely 

there’s… someone or three, you 

might like to follow up with?

 

**< 5:12PM>**

I kind of hate the idea of you being there,

away from home and everyone you really 

know, and being… lonely or I don’t know. 

Just to have someone to hang out with 

that you really like or care about

 

**< 22:15gmt>**

_ I’m good man, honestly. _

_ Don’t be worrying about me.  _

_ I can take care of myself *wink emoji* _

 

**< 5:18PM>**

Oh, right. Must be peach season

 

**< 22:19gmt>**

_ Ripe n juicy, man, ripe n juicy. _

 

**< 5:22PM>**

Why do I suddenly feel sticky? Lol

 


	27. Chapter 27

**July 8, 2018**

 

 **itsmeben** shared a **post: “** World’s best dancer **”** 50m

 **itsmeben** shared a **post: “** When you thought you lost @tchalamet **”** 1hr

 **itsmeben** shared a **post: “** ShOtS **”** 2hr

**_________________**

 

**< 04:12gmt>**

_I AM STICKY_

**< 04:12gmt>**

_Too many bodies_

**< 11:14PM>**

Just what were you doing with all those

bodies that you are now sticky?

*side-eye emoji*

**< 04:18gmt>**

_I came_

**< 04:24gmt>**

_Home! I came home. Lol unfortnate_

**< 11:28PM>**

Tim, my dude, you are fucking ploughed lol

**< 04:32gmt>**

_Shure am_

**< 11:33PM>**

You ok? Anyone help you back to your place?

**< 11:33PM>**

Drink some water

**< 04:38gmt>**

_I got help. Quic question - am i meanna pay_

_Before of after thy take my clothes off?_

**< 11:40PM>**

WTF. T, what are you doing???????

**< 04:45gmt>**

_So many of them herrrrre_

**< 11:46PM>**

Honest to god, Tim. I’m two seconds away

from calling your ass. Wtf is going on?

**< 04:49gmt>**

_trust me?_

**< 11:50PM>**

You know I do, but this has nothing to do with trust.

You’re drunk and I don’t want anyone

taking advantage of ~~you~~ that.

**< 04:53gmt>**

_m alone_

**< 11:54PM>**

You’re alone? Then. WTF

**< 04:56gmt>**

_S’just playin wit u_

**< 11:57PM>**

Jesus Christ. Don’t do that. I was somehow

gonna have to manage to kill someone through

the fucking telephone. Fuck. There ain’t enough

grass in the world to calm my ass down now.

**< 05:03gmt>**

_Were u jealous?_

**< 12:07AM>**

What if I was? That was still a shitty thing to do

**< 05:08gmt>**

_Sprry, wasnt meant to be shtty_

**< 05:08gmt>**

_I just … sorry. Drunk. No peaches_

**< 12:11AM>**

No, hey. It’s ok. I was overreacting. I should have known…

**< 12:11AM>**

Sorry. Really. Let’s start over?

**< 12:11AM>**

Did you have a good time?

**< 05:15gmt>**

_I like when u lok after me_

**< 12:17AM>**

Yeah? Good. Cause I like looking after you.

**< 05:19gmt>**

_Shame ur nt here. I could use ur hand_

**< 12:19AM>**

Wait a minute. My hand. You could use.

My hand?

**< 05:21gmt>**

_Yes ur hand. Its bigger._

**< 05:21gmt>**

_On the head_

**< 12:23AM>**

Tim. What?

**< 12:23AM>**

~~WTF is happening right now?~~

~~Are we doing this now?~~

**< message deleted>**

**< 12:23AM>**

You want my… big hand. Jesus.

**< 05:24gmt>**

_It works for me._

**< 05:25gmt>**

_Bt only wit your hands._

**< 12:25AM>**

My hands work. For you?

**< 05:25gmt>**

_Yes. so much better. Quiker._

**< 12:26AM>**

Is there

**< 12:26AM>**

Is there a rush?

**< 12:26AM>**

~~I want to take my time~~

**< message deleted>**

**< 05:28gmt>**

_Easier to sleep aftr_

**< 12:29AM>**

It is. Sleep would be good for you right now.

**< 05:29gmt>**

_Im using my hand bt not as goodddd_

**< 12:30AM>**

I know. I’m sorry. If I were there,

you could use my hand.

**< 05:30gmt>**

_U can use mine at same time *smile emoji*_

**< 12:34AM>**

Fuck, T. I can’t even think about that.

**< 05:36gmt>**

_Felt so good_

**< 05:36gmt>**

_You dnt like my hands? No they prob too delicate on u_

**< 12:37AM>**

No, they’re perfect. Thinking

about them is nice

**< 12:37AM>**

Is too much. I like them too much.

**< 05:41gmt>**

_Wed help each other n both feel bettr_

**< 12:42AM>**

Always. You and me. I want you to feel

good. I want to help you feel good.

**< 05:42gmt>**

_U always mak me feel good_

**< 05:43gmt>**

_Magicaaal hands_

**< 12:43AM>**

I’m glad they help. I just want to help you,

Timmy. Whatever you need.

**< 05:45gmt>**

_M jst gonna pretend ur here_

**< 12:46AM>**

I wish I were. Right there beside you.

You could have my hand all night.

Whatever you wanted.

**< 05:47gmt>**

_You can use both make it extra quick_

**< 12:48AM>**

No, I want to take my time. Do it right.

**< 05:51gmt>**

_Faster the better_

**< 05:52gmt>**

_Stp my head spinnningg_

_*vomit emoji* *sad emoji*_

**< 12:54AM>**

~~This isn’t~~

**< message deleted>**

**< 12:54AM>**

Timmy, how drunk are you?

**< 05:57gmt>**

_I catn feel my toes_

**< 12:58AM>**

Jesus, T. Probably best to make yourself

throw up now and then go to sleep.

**< 05:59gmt>**

_Yes sirrrrr_

**< 1:02AM>**

Right. Yeah. OK. You need to go the

fuck to sleep.

**< 06:04gmt>**

_Yr so bossy_

**< 06:05gmt>**

_‘M grown!_

**< 1:07AM>**

Ford is more mature right now

**< 1:07AM>**

Just, drink some water and go to bed.

I pray you have a late call tomorrow.

**< 06:08gmt>**

_I pray for you too. Light a candle._

_Godblessss_

**< 1:09AM>**

Noted.

**< 1:09AM>**

Go to bed, Timmy. For fuck’s sake.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “World’s best dancer” - picture - silhouette of Timmy on dance floor, striking a pose. Cap on, head down. 
> 
> “When you thought you lost @tchalamet” - picture - Timmy sat on a club sofa, dressed in black, surrounded by black jackets, head down. Only clearly visible by the white socks and trainers. 
> 
> “ShOtS” - picture - round of shots, faceless hands
> 
> Bonus points for anyone who understood Tim, cos we know one tall blonde who didn't.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after....

**July 8, 2018**

 

**tchalamet:** _Blank Screen. Praise hands emoji in bottom right corner_

(via IG stories)

 

_____________________

 

**< 09:03gmt>**

_Oh boy._

 

**< 09:03gmt>**

_Uhmm._

 

**< 09:03gmt>**

_Wow._

 

**< 09:03gmt>**

_So, um, reread our messages?_

 

**< 09:03gmt>**

_First off; no more shots._

_Ever. Period. *sick emoji*_

 

**< 09:04gmt>**

_Clearly I am a catch when_

_wasted *eye roll emoji*_

 

**< 09:04gmt>**

_Secondly; not really sure what to say_

_about the rest?_

 

**< 09:05gmt>**

_I know I was drunk and vague and not_

_making much sense… clearly confusing..._

 

**< 09:06gmt>**

_So like whatever man, we can ignore what I_ **_think_ **

_you thought I was doing_

_or, y’kno, maybe we need to talk?_

 

_____________________

 

♥ @RealChalamet liked

**Kanye? Ye kan.** @yeezybrutha

_*Photo*_

_TELL ME WHO IN HERE CAN RELATE?_

_#beautifulmorning #nothingunwanted_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter photo: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Ye3i6i4SJtNwSjq9xVDmSaE6D4GYdd0d/view?usp=drivesdk
> 
> Twitter user made up. Please don't follow them if it turns out someone is as funny with puns as we like to think we are.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love the love. Thanks to everyone for all the comments and kudos and random screams. They give us life. xxx

**July 8, 2018**

 

**< 8:57AM>**

I am seriously fucked.

 

**< 9:42AM>**

Wake up, you lazy west coast asshole.

 

**< 9:56AM>**

SOS

 

<8:16PST>

**Dude. Morning. Whats up?**

 

**< 11:23AM>**

I am an idiot

 

<8:24PST>

**Ha. Yeah. That isn't worth waking me for?**

 

**< 11:26AM>**

Ha fucking ha. Seriously. I think I may

have managed to fit my entire size 15

shoe up my own ass

 

<8:28PST>

**What's new?**

 

**< 11:31AM>**

I crossed a line last night.  A LINE

 

**< 11:31AM>**

Shit, tbh, though, I thought we both did… were. Turns

out, nope, I’m just a fucking asshole desperate enough

to take advantage of a friend

 

<8:33PST>

**Go on…**

 

**< 11:34AM>**

God, right. Last night, T texts me. Middle of

the night, fucking wasted,

which should have been my first fucking clue

 

**< 11:35AM>**

Things took a turn? I thought they

took a turn, and fuck me, I didn’t realise that

it wasn’t

 

**< 11:36AM>**

That he wasn’t trying to start something with

me, you know? He was talking about my

hands on him. I mean, what was I supposed to think?

 

**< 12:36PM>**

I should have known better. Shouldn’t have

given in but I did. Of course I did.

 

<8:36PST>

**Wait. What? Back up the train.**

**He messaged you about you**

**touching him?? I am very confused**

**how this WASN'T a come on…?**

 

**< 11:37AM>**

See? That was exactly my thought. Fucking hell.

 

**< 12:38PM>**

He started, texting, teasing

he’s with ‘people’, which was a whole other

fucking kettle of fish.

I don’t know, like to get a rise out of me

or something. Wanting

to know if I were jealous

 

**< 11:38AM>**

Then for some reason he says

he wants to use my hand. It’s bigger and

it helps him more? What do I do with that?

I felt like I had been punched in the

fucking solar plexus

 

<8:39PST>

**Right… I mean, I can see where you think**

**this is going… This better be a damn good**

**plot twist Hammer.**

 

**< 11:39AM>**

Fuck off, this isn’t a joke, asshole.

 

**< 11:41AM>**

My mind just shut off. Any hope for being a rational

human went fucking south along with all the blood

I had to spare. He said I could use his hand and we

could help each other feel better. Fuck me.

 

<8:41PST>

**Dude. TMI.**

**So, what did you do?**

 

**< 11:43AM>**

Yeah, alright. I know. Sorry.

 

**< 11:43AM>**

But you know what I did, Niki.

 

**< 11:43AM>**

I did the worst thing I could have done. I gave in.

Didn’t think of anything or anyone but him and

I am so not proud of that fact.

 

**< 11:44AM>**

But it was for nothing because good old Armz

read it wrong, as per usual. Fucked it up good this time

because of course he wasn’t talking about getting off.

 

**< 11:45PM>**

He only wanted me to help keep his

head from spinning because he was so wasted.

Something about my hand on his forehead?

He’d done it the weekend before. I took it for

full-on sexting, fuck my life.

 

**< 11:46AM>**

So now he’s awake and he’s seen how very unsubtle

I was with my responses and how am I supposed

to fucking answer him now?

 

<8:47PST>

**First off, it still sounds like a come on.**

 

<8:47PST>

**When had this happened before? Do you**

**mean your total best friends sleepover?**

**Because, dude, that whole weekend was**

**also also a come on.**

 

<8:48PST>

**What did he say about your messages?**

 

**< 11:50AM>**

First off, it may have sounded that way, but he

was drunk and he’s never been like that before

with me, so my brain should have caught

a goddamn clue

 

**< 11:50AM>**

Second, why do you have to be such an asshole

about that weekend? I told you it was nothing

but him being a good friend. He was nothing

but kind. Though, obviously not an action you

are too familiar with *middle finger emoji*

 

**< 11:51AM>**

He wants to know if we need to discuss what

happened because clearly he can see I crossed

a HUGE line with him.

 

<8:53PST>

**I’ve watched you struggle for the past**

**two years to catch a fucking clue when**

**it comes to him, A - why would this be**

**any different.**

 

<8:53PST>

**Can’t blame him for wanting to**

**talk about it? I mean, as far as he is**

**concerned, you’re fresh off a pretty**

**shitty situation. He doesn’t know**

**it’s been a long time coming, nor does**

**he have any idea how long you have**

**felt this way.**

 

**< 11:56AM>**

I know. I know you’re right.

 

**< 11:56AM>**

We definitely need to discuss it, I’m just dreading it

like a motherfucker

 

<9:04PST>

**Well dude, I don’t know what you want from**

**me? I am not him, I don’t know what he did**

**or didn't think when he read your messages.**

**Maybe he was being innocent. Or, devils**

**advocate, maybe he provoked you thinking**

**you wouldn’t bite. Then backed out when you**

**did. I don’t know, man. The more you guys**

**dance around this line though and don’t speak?**

**The more of these texts I am gonna get.**

 

**< 12:06AM>**

I know. I get it. Something has to give, but I’m so

sure it’s just going to ruin everyfuckingthing.

And, I can’t lose him, too, you know?

 

<9:07PST>

**Deja Vu, groundhog day, etcetc…. DUDE.**

**You’re going to ruin everything anyway if**

**you keep up this charade.**

 

<9:07PST>

**Just lay it the fuck out. “Timothee, when**

**you said to me last night I could put my**

**hands on you I was fucking delighted.**

**Let's do that, sounds a great idea, you in?”**

 

**< 12:08PM>**

Excuse the fuck out of me. I’m sorry this is so

hard for YOU to deal with.

 

<9:09PST>

**Don’t start. Anyway, Anyway, youre too late -**

**I -  have already listened to the**

**“I Can't Lose Him” soundtrack already**

**today, I own the concert t-shirt.**

**I know all about it.**

 

**< 12:11PM>**

Fine, I’ll lay it all out. Why not? You’re so

convinced he’s not gonna run for the hills,

I’ll just do this and then we’ll see where the

chips fall, alright? Does that work for you?

 

<9:12PST>

**Say he was up for it. What then?**

**Ideal world.**

 

**< 12:14PM>**

If I knew he was on the same page? I wouldn’t

hesitate. Not for a second.

 

<9:15PST>

**Then… don’t hesitate.**

 

**< 12:15PM>**

Haha, yeah, okay. Let me just freak him out by

confessing my undying love out of the blue

 

<9:15PST>

**No. Armie. Listen to me… don’t hesitate.**

 

**< 12:16PM>**

Niki

 

**< 12:16PM>**

Hold up.

 

**< 12:16PM>**

You talked to him. What… what did he say?

 

<9:18PST>

**Doesn’t matter what he said.**

**What matters is what I am telling**

**you right now.**

 

<9:18PST>

**We both know that this situation**

**isn’t ideal. If this was someone new**

**fresh out the gate I wouldn’t be**

**advising you do anything. But Tim?**

 

<9:18PST>

**You’re already together, A, in all but**

**fucking owning it. So if he is what you want,**

**then…. Don’t hesitate.**

 

**< 12:24PM>**

Christ, Niki.

 

**< 12:24PM>**

You know how fucking terrifying this is?

 

**< 12:24PM>**

Something has to give right? It can’t go on like this,

I know it can’t

 

**< 12:25PM>**

I’m scared shitless, but you’re right.

 

<9:26PST>

**Sorry, say that again for the kids**

**down the back. Who is right?**

 

<9:26PST>

**Only jokin, dude. You just gotta**

**trust me on this.**

 

**< 12:27PM>**

Fuck me. I know. There’s no one I trust

more, brother. It feels… like I’m jumping

without a chute. But I’m choking anyway,

so may as well go down like a champ, right?

 

<9:29PST>

**Go big or go home. Isn’t that what**

**the young kids say these days?**

**Check with your boy.**

 

**< 12:31PM>**

I’ve got one foot in the shit already, might

as well dive right on in.

 

<9:35PST>

**With a charming charming mouth like that how**

**could he resist?**

 

**< 12:38PM>**

Hilarious.

 

**< 12:38PM>**

If this doesn’t fail spectacularly,

I’ll owe you big time.

 

**< 12:38PM>**

But if it blows in my face,

you’ll never hear the end of it

 

<9:42PST>

**I accept no liability. But… we**

**like him. And more importantly**

**we like the you that you are around**

**him. so… it’s a risk worth taking.**

 

**< 12:43PM>**

I don’t know wtf you expect me to say to that.

 

**< 12:44PM>**

I like the me I am around him too. So, yeah.

Thanks, man, for talking me off this ledge.

 

<9:45PST>

**Requires a slight amendment to the**

**friendship clause of the contract but**

**you’re welcome. I guess he won’t be**

**home for a while?**

 

**< 12:47PM>**

Be sure to have it notarised, aight?

 

**< 12:47PM>**

No, he still has several weeks of filming left,

which jesus, now that I’ve decided to just

fucking say something is not going to be

easy to put off.

 

<9:49PST>

**Well he’s not going anywhere so**

**no rush.**

 

**< 12:53PM>**

True. Still, it’s hard to think about waiting

even one more day, man

 

<9:55PST>

**You’re killing me here, dude. Anyone**

**ever mentioned you might want to**

**get your impulse control checked**

**out?**

 

**< 12:57PM>**

What?? I said it was gonna be hard waiting,

not that I was gonna DO anything about it.

Which, fucking hell, after all the ragging

you’ve done on me today, you would think

you’d be all for me getting this over with so

you wouldn’t have to listen to my pissing

and moaning anymore. Sheesh, Wonder.

Which way’s it gonna be with you?

*eyeroll emoji*

 

<9:55PST>

**TRUTH. It’s taking me a while**

**to accept you being all out to**

**being all in. Forgive me.**

 

**< 12:57PM>**

I know I’ve not been the greatest person to be

around for a long while. You’re a friend

indeed, Boy Wonder.

 

<9:59PST>

**You pay me. Let me know what**

**he says when you reply.**

**Still not sure how you’re**

**gonna get outta that situation,**

**horndawg.**

 

**< 1:03PM>**

Don’t expect a raise. *wink emoji*

 

**< 1:03PM>**

I’ll let you know. Thanks again, Nick. Above

and beyond, my brother.

 

<10:06PST>

**Love you man.**

 

**___________________**

 

 **tchalamet:** _Mirror selfie, baggy clothes, cap pulled low_

_zooming camera in and out._

**_Music:_** _the Weeknd “The Hills”._ (via IG stories)

 

**___________________**

 

**< 4:56PM>**

T, I think we need to talk.

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timmy IG story: ["The Hills" by The Weekend](https://genius.com/The-weeknd-the-hills-lyrics)


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk about awkward, we have second hand embarrassment.

**July 9, 2018**

 

**< 07:01gmt>**

_Sure. Probably best to call, right?_

 

**_<_ ** **5:57AM >**

That would probably be best, yeah

 

**< 12:48gmt>**

_Today pretty tight, press work_   
_after shooting. Tomorrow I can_  
 _make time? I don’t think its a text_  
 _conversation_

 

**< 12.50gmt>**

_Lostintranslation.com_

 

**_<_ ** **8:05AM >**

Understatement of the century.

 

**_<_ ** **8:05AM >**

Tomorrow would be… good.

What is your schedule like?

A good time to call?

 

**< 13.10gmt>**

~~_Ahh, I get off arou_ ~~

**_< message deleted>_ **

 

**< 13.14gmt>**

_Finish up at 2pm._

 

**< 8:21AM>**

I’ll call around then? Work for you?

 

**< 13.25gmt>**

_Look forward to it, man._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close you can almost see it...


	31. Chapter 31

**July 10, 2018**

 

**< 06:33gmt>**

_ Still lookin good for wrappin by 2, dude. _

 

**< 1:41AM>**

Sounds good. Hope your day goes well. 

Talk to you in a while.

  
  
  


_ \------------------- _

 

**tchalamet** commented on  **itsmeben** ’s post: “... approach Caerphilly!” 5m

**tchalamet** liked  **itsmeben** ’s post 5m

**itsmeben** shared a  **post:** “don't mess with @tchalamet when he has a sword in his hand” 15m

 

_ \------------------- _

 

 

**EXT - LONDON STREET - DAY**

 

TIMOTHEE walking, head down, phone in hand. He glances up as he crosses the road to a waiting taxi. He steps into the car and types a message on his phone.

  
  


**INT - TAXI CAB - DAY**

 

“ _ On my way home, call you in 15?” _ . He hits send before pocketing the phone on an exhale, looking out of the window.

 

A short time later TIMOTHEE leans forward, motioning to the driver. 

 

**TIMOTHEE**

Hey man, if it’s easier you can just let me out there by the store, I am only around the corner...

 

The driver nods, making comments about one way systems much to TIMOTHEEs amusement. Once stopped, TIMOTHEE thanks and pays the driver before exiting the vehicle.

  
  


**EXT - LONDON STREET - DAY**

 

TIMOTHEE salutes the departing car, before taking his phone out of his back pocket. As he turns the corner onto his street, he notes no recent message notifications. Biting his lower lip, a flash of tension crosses his face.

 

As he nears home, a high pitched voice can be heard calling his name. Expecting a fan TIMOTHEE looks up, schooling his expression into a ready smile, a lone curl falling into his eyes. His face registers confusion as his name is repeated (off screen); “ _Timmy!_ ”

 

**TIMOTHEE**

Hey! Wha-, hey!

 

TIMOTHEE falls to one knee, arms outstretched as a young girl comes flying towards him, delight written all over her face.

 

**TIMOTHEE**

Hops, what the-,

 

He glances up from the embrace, smile wide, eyes on the doorway to his home. 

 

ARMIE, dressed casually, jeans and hoodie, steps away from the door. On one side of his chest, FORD sleeps quietly, his arms around ARMIEs neck. On the other, a white “A”. 

 

With a small smile, he lifts his chin in acknowledgement. 

 

**ARMIE**

Free to talk now?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bens IG Post: Timmy at buffet table, large baguette in his hand. 
> 
> \------  
> 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Real life has been kicking both our asses pretty hard. Hopefully, upcoming chapters make up for the unintended wait. 
> 
> Shout out to the Harem. Never been a better group of gals. xoxo

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - DAY**

ARMIE enters the room with FORD in his arms, TIMOTHEE follows with HARPER.

The room is an open plan, sitting room / dining room combined with a small galley kitchen. The decor is sparse, impersonal, the space minimal. An arm chair sits to the side of a sofa with a coffee table in between

ARMIE places FORD on the sofa gently and he remains sound asleep. HARPER refuses to be put down, twirling TIMOTHEEs hair round her fingers. ARMIE smiles indulgently, having retrieved two suitcases from outside the door. TIMOTHEE watches and shrugs. ARMIE and TIMOTHEE stare at each other a long heated moment before ARMIE steps forward.

ARMIE

Timmy’s been working all day, darlin’. Let’s give him a little break.

ARMIE takes HARPER from TIMOTHEE, placing her in front of the coffee table with a smacking kiss on the cheek. ARMIE sorts through the smallest case, retrieving a zip top bag and placing it on the table. HARPER happily pours out the contents- crayons and colouring book and hums happily to herself as she picks the perfect page..

TIMOTHEE

Wait here a sec…

TIMOTHEE goes out to the hallway and into the bedroom. He returns a couple of seconds later with a soft, oversized jumper which he places carefully over the sleeping FORD.

TIMOTHEE

If my clothes are good enough for his Dad…. the heat hasn’t been on today and this place is super old and always kinda cold, it takes a while to warm up properly.

ARMIE

(Rolls his eyes but clearly touched by TIMOTHEE’s thoughtfulness)

I always forget it’s never guaranteed to actually be summer here in July.

TIMOTHEE

In this place it can be roasting out and still feel like the air con is on. I don’t want him to catch a chill or anything.

ARMIE

(nods, clears his throat)

Thanks… yeah, thanks, you’re a good egg.

TIMOTHEE steps away from FORD, towards ARMIE, a tight smile on his face, his hands making awkward movements by his side. Eventually he raises his right hand to take Armies, extending his left arm out slightly, signalling his typical one arm hug style.

ARMIE stares and frowns at TIMOTHEE’s outstretched hand waiting a beat to take it. They eventually come together in a stiff embrace before ARMIE finally releases TIMOTHEE’s hand, wrapping both arms around TIMOTHEE’s shoulders.

TIMOTHEE slowly moves his arms around ARMIEs waist, holding gently to one wrist. He relaxes into the hold with a slow exhale. ARMIE rests his cheek on the crown of TIMOTHEE’s head, his voice is low when he finally speaks.

ARMIE

Hope you don’t mind a few houseguests for a couple days.

TIMOTHEE

Why, you inviting some?

ARMIE

(chuckles)

May have.

TIMOTHEE

Seems we are pretty full here, might have to turn them away.

TIMOTHEE pulls out of the embrace as he speaks, slowly, reluctantly. He turns his gaze up to ARMIE with a soft smile. ARMIE’s hands linger on TIMOTHEEs shoulders, trailing down his arms and away as TIMOTHEE steps back.

ARMIE

Good, I never liked to share anyway.

The two share a loaded, lingering look before TIMOTHEE’s attention is distracted by HARPER tugging on his hand.

HARPER

Timmy. Timmy. .

TIMOTHEE puts his other hand on ARMIES forearm with a conspiratory smile.

TIMOTHEE

(fingering the fabric of the hoodie)

Suits you, by the way.

ARMIE’s face reddens as TIMOTHEE turns his attention to HARPER.

TIMOTHEE

Yes, Miss?

HARPER pulling on his hand, digs her heels in and pulls TIMOTHEE in the direction of the table as if she could pull him along behind her.

HARPER

Color ponies with me.

ARMIE clears his throat, smiling at his daughter, but looking at her pointedly which makes HARPER huff and roll her eyes as only a child be reminded of their manners can do..

HARPER

Please, Timmy?

TIMOTHEE feigns a stumble, allows himself to be pulled towards the table.

TIMOTHEE

Well, when you ask so nicely…. What kind of poni-

TIMOTHEE pauses as he takes in the My Little Pony coloring book in front of HARPER. As she picks up her abandoned crayon, he sits on the floor, turning to ARMIE with a raised eyebrow.

TIMOTHEE

Really?

ARMIE shrugs and laughs.

ARMIE

I had nothing to do with that. Promise. But it’s still fucking hilarious.

TIMOTHEE

Sure you didn’t….

TIMOTHEE picks up a red crayon and starts to work on the page next to HARPERs current creation.

TIMOTHEE

I can’t believe you guys are here, it’s so good to see you.

HARPER nods, scribbling madly at the page.

HARPER

We came on a big airplane. I wasn’t scared but Brother cried some. Daddy sang the cowboy song to him and then he was okay..

ARMIE sits on the edge of the couch, behind HARPER at FORD’s feet.

ARMIE

You were my big brave girl.

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, Hops, that’s amazing. I don’t think I could have done that, you’re so good coming all this way and looking after Ford _and_ Daddy.

HARPER leans back against ARMIE’s knees, bending her head back to look up at him with a smile.

HARPER

I’m a good helper, right, Daddy?

ARMIE kisses her forehead, making her squeal with delight.

ARMIE

The best helper. Do you think you can help me now and make sure brother is okay while Daddy and Timmy get a drink in the kitchen?

HARPER nods and goes back to coloring. TIMOTHEE rises to stand, brushing his hand over her hair.

  


**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY**

TIMOTHEE stands at the doorway to the small galley kitchen, one eye on HARPER as ARMIE starts opening cupboards with an increasing frown.

TIMOTHEE

Coffee is in the end cupboard.

ARMIE

Coffee? This is London, dude. Ah- (pulls a box from the cupboard) I knew you’d have some.

ARMIE sets the box of Earl Grey on the counter and TIMOTHEE chuckles. ARMIE fills the kettle from the tap before turning it on. As the water begins to boil, he turns to face TIMOTHEE, arms crossed over his chest.

TIMOTHEE

I guess we have a lot to talk about?

ARMIE

(rubs his forearms, seeming suddenly nervous)

I guess we do, yeah.

TIMOTHEE

I was thinking maybe we could take these guys out for some food or something when Ford wakes up?

ARMIE

Sounds good to me. They’ve both been troopers.

TIMOTHEE

I’d say Hops will be fit to drop by the time we get back and she can go in my bed. I mean, all of you can. Fresh sheets, I only just changed them.  

ARMIE

Nah, man. I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed. We can grab a hotel room somewhere. (laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck) I may not have thought this whole trip through too well.

TIMOTHEE

You're always welcome here, you know that. I'm good on the sofa, dude, seriously.

ARMIE

That would be great, yeah. The kids will love a sleepover with Uncle Timmy. (winks) But seriously, I know it’s a lot, so the minute we get on your nerves you gotta let me know.

TIMOTHEE

You know that isn’t going to happen.

TIMOTHEE moves past ARMIE and takes two cups out of another cupboard, placing them on the worktop next to the box of tea. He smiles up at ARMIE who is watching him with a soft smile of his own.

TIMOTHEE

What about Liz? Does she know you brought them here?

ARMIE

Yeah, um, I had to tell her. That I was taking them out of the country. Can’t run the risk of being accused of kidnaping my own kids. I didn’t get into it with her why I was coming or what I was doing, but I’m sure… I’m sure she thinks she knows.

TIMOTHEE

Right. Fuck, that would happen? For taking them? That's insane. I mean… makes sense I guess. Not for you - I mean like - other people… Anyway. God, I feel like we have so much to talk about right now but my head is … all fucking over the place, man.

ARMIE

It’s standard procedure. In- in divorce cases. I don’t think she would actually press the issue, but a lawyer savvy enough might. And yeah, there's a lot we need to talk about.

The kettle boils and ARMIE busies himself pouring a cup for each of them.

TIMOTHEE

Divorce… yeah. Pretty final, huh?

TIMOTHEE rests his hand on ARMIEs shoulder for a beat.

TIMOTHEE

Do you know how long the whole thing takes, or…?

ARMIE

Not really certain at the moment. So far, things are going smoothly, I don’t see any hiccups with where we are, so it shouldn’t be too long.

TIMOTHEE waits for ARMIE to turn back around to him, taking the mug out of his hand with thanks. He studies his face carefully.

TIMOTHEE

And how are you with it all? Honestly?

ARMIE leans against the counter, ankles crossed, blowing across the top of the steaming mug

ARMIE

Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve taken time to consider how it feels beyond lonely. It’s too quiet without the kids always around. But, then. I find myself feeling guilty, on the cab rides home after a show, that she won’t be there and I won’t have to… God, that I won’t have to fake being happy all the time.

Switching his mug into his other hand, TIMOTHEE rubs ARMIEs bicep comfortingly, nodding.

TIMOTHEE

Seems like your time for faking a lot of things is pretty much over now. If you’re wanting it to be.

ARMIE nods and sips his tea, catching TIMOTHEE’s eye over the rim of his cup.

ARMIE

I think so.

TIMOTHEE flushes slightly, breaking eye contact with a gentle smile. As he goes to take another drink, he hears HARPER talking to FORD. He looks back to ARMIE with a beaming smile before heading out of the kitchen.

TIMOTHEE

Yo, ma lil homeslice….

ARMIE laughs, warm and deep, before following TIMOTHEE into the sitting room

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We know. We know. But trust us, this was the best place for a chapter break because you are going to want all of the next bits posted together. <3

**INT - NEIGHBORHOOD / FAMILY- STYLE ITALIAN RESTAURANT - EARLY EVENING**

 

ARMIE and TIMOTHEE sit side by side on one side of the table. HARPER sits in a booster seat to ARMIE’s right FORD in a high chair to TIMOTHEE’s left. The table is covered in the traditional red and white checked tablecloth, a small candle sits to one side, out of reach of the children. There is a large pizza on a stand in the center, a plate of cheesy pasta in front of FORD.

 

ARMIE cuts a slice of pizza into bite-sized pieces, his mouth curved in a wry smile.

 

ARMIE

So, how was your day, dear?

 

TIMOTHEE

(laughs)

Some crazy fuc-

 

He looks to HARPER sharply before throwing an apologetic look at ARMIE. He coughs before continuing.

 

TIMOTHEE

-fun? Crazy fun we are having tonight.

 

TIMOTHEE smiles and shrugs at his cover up, before taking a small spoon from the bag at ARMIEs feet. He hands it to FORD with a smile.

  


TIMOTHEE

Here ya go, buddy. Mmm, that looks so good. Enjoy!

 

ARMIE watches TIMOTHEE for a beat, before shaking his head and looking back at what he is doing, sliding the plate over to HARPER

 

HARPER grabs at pieces of pizza, enthusiastically shoving them into her mouth with both hands. ARMIE goes out of his way _not_ to remind her to use her fork.

 

HARPER

(around a mouthful)

Thank you, Daddy.

 

ARMIE

You’re welcome, sweetheart.

 

ARMIE turns his attention back to TIMOTHEE who is attentively listening to FORD babble, nodding in agreement to his every word.

 

ARMIE

(smiling fondly)

It never fails to surprise me, just what a natural you are with the kids, T.

 

TIMOTHEE

Wasn’t long ago I was one, dude, that’s why.

 

ARMIE

(rolls his eyes)

Don’t remind me.

 

TIMOTHEE

My time will come soon enough, don’t worry. I’ll be ancient like you, hating on all the young whippersnappers with their cool kicks and charming tongues.

 

TIMOTHEE takes a large bite of his pizza and looks at HARPER, scrunching his nose with an exaggerated chew, making her giggle.

 

ARMIE

Oh, is that what I do? Must be the dementia. Can’t imagine I’d fly all this way for a whippersnapper and his cool kicks and (cough) whatever else you said.

 

ARMIE waves his hand in the air, pizza slice flopping in his hand

 

TIMOTHEE

See what you did there. No misinterpretation allowed at this table.

 

ARMIE groans, places his pizza back down on his plate and holds his hands up in supplication

 

ARMIE

Was wondering how long it might take before you brought that up.

 

TIMOTHEE reaches for his glass of water, taking a long drink before putting it back on the table. He busies himself helping FORD with his pasta for a beat or two before he speaks.

 

TIMOTHEE

I mean, it was bound to come up - hah - man… eventually.

 

ARMIE scrubs a hand across his face, it’s turned bright red.

 

ARMIE

(under his breath)

Fucking hell.

 

TIMOTHEE

Excuse you, Hammer. There are children present.

 

ARMIE cuts TIMOTHEE a withering glance, one brow high on his forehead and places his hands flat on the table

 

ARMIE

I don’t… I can’t joke about this, T. It’s the reason- well, the reason I came all this way.

 

ARMIE looks away, swallows, before looking back at TIMOTHEE

 

ARMIE

I’m sorry for- for all of that the other night. I was way out of line.

 

TIMOTHEE

Firstly, you did not fly that far with these two to say “sorry dude I was out of line”. You could have said that on the phone. But anyway… regardless, it’s-... no big deal. Well, I mean, unless….

 

TIMOTHEE shifts uncomfortably, throwing a tight smile at HARPER who is watching him intently

 

TIMOTHEE

Unless… well, I guess it depends on how you felt when you realised what I was talking about?

 

ARMIE passes TIMOTHEE a napkin and nods towards FORD, who has sauce all over his face. With a laugh TIMOTHEE takes the spoon out of FORDs hand and starts to clean his face, intermittently pretending to try and eat the piece of pasta FORD has in a vice grip in the hand nearest to him. FORDs giggles are infectious.

 

ARMIE

No, you’re right. You’re right. There’s a lot more to the _why_ of me coming here, but high on that list is that I was determined to make sure _nothing_ was lost in translation this time.

 

ARMIE presses his knee against TIMOTHEE’s beneath the table for emphasis

 

ARMIE

But, as to how I felt when I realised… what was happening wasn’t what I thought was happening? Honestly?

 

TIMOTHEE nods in encouragement as ARMIE picks at the crust of his pizza

 

ARMIE

I was mortified for about two seconds before… before I realised I was fu- seriously disappointed.

 

TIMOTHEE

Yeah (pause) I think I had the same reaction the next morning.

 

ARMIE’s head pops up so fast his neck cracks

 

ARMIE

Disappointed? As- in me? For thinking that or-?

 

TIMOTHEE

No! No-, In me. For being too wasted in the first place.

 

ARMIE

You _were_ pretty wasted.

 

TIMOTHEE nods, his eyes wide in agreement.

 

TIMOTHEE

It all could have gone down -

 

He pauses, smiles and rolls his eyes to heaven

 

TIMOTHEE

\- very differently if I hadn’t been. Though maybe it would have been just full on mortified the next day instead…?

 

ARMIE coughs, looks at TIMOTHEE from the corner of his eye.

 

ARMIE

You don’t sound… I practically took advantage of you but you really- you’re not upset I did that?

 

TIMOTHEE

Upset? You thought I would be upset?

 

ARMIE

Well, yeah. I mean, I fu-

 

ARMIE stops himself, looking at both his children who aren’t paying him the least bit of attention

 

TIMOTHEE

The word you're looking for is _fun_

 

He smiles as ARMIE rolls his eyes. _Kids._

 

ARMIE

As I was saying… I was trying to- (stage whisper) to sex you up (tight smile) _while you were drunk_ and I’m- I mean… that’s not the most _brotherly_ thing I could have done.

 

TIMOTHEE smiles around the slice of pizza in his mouth. He chews quickly.

 

TIMOTHEE

This conversation is surreal as fuck, man.

 

He puts hand over his mouth with an ‘oops’, a quick glance at HARPER.

 

TIMOTHEE

Jesus. The irony. Must watch _my_ mouth. But yeah. I mean… upset didn’t really come into it, no. Something about a gorgeous guy wanting to put his hands on you kinda offsets it pretty well.

 

ARMIE blinks, stares out the window for a beat, shifts in his seat, the tips of his ears burn bright. He clears his throat before he speaks.

 

ARMIE

Okay, that is- I mean-

 

ARMIE coughs, clearly fighting the urge to say more, knowing now is not the time to try and dissect exactly what TIMOTHEE means. He takes a long pull of his beer before deciding to settle on a safer topic fit for a ‘family’ dinner.

 

ARMIE

Hops, why don’t you tell Timmy about the ducks we saw in the park near his house today.

  


TIMOTHEE grins in ARMIEs direction before turning his attention to HARPER as she launches into her story, complete with dramatic reenactment.

  



	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are _really_ sorry for the lateness of this update. Real life is a ball buster.

**tchalamet:** _Black screen._

**_Caption:_** _row of four crown emojis in top left corner._ (via IG stories)

 

________________________________

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT**

 

ARMIE enters the sitting room. He lets out a small laugh as he takes in TIMOTHEE sitting on the floor, knees raised, arms resting over his kneecaps. His hair has been pulled haphazardly into an assortment of ponytails. HARPER sits on the sofa behind him, pulling one more piece of hair through an elastic band.

 

HARPER

Daddy, look!

 

ARMIE

I see. Great job, baby girl. Timmy has never looked prettier.

 

He gives TIMOTHEE a warm, but cheeky, smile. TIMOTHEE returns it sweetly as ARMIE motions to HARPER.

 

ARMIE

Alright, Hops. I believe it is someone’s bedtime.

 

HARPER dutifully stops what she is doing and scrambles off the sofa. She stands next to TIMOTHEE and takes hold of the wrist of his right hand, where it lies over his knee.

 

HARPER

Timmy, will you tuck me in?

 

TIMOTHEE

Sure, I can. Put your arms around my neck

 

She does so, TIMOTHEE hooks his arm around her and pulls her up with him as he rises. She squeals in delight at the playful motion.

 

HARPER

And, and, and will you sing to me like Daddy does?

 

TIMOTHEE

Sing to you?

 

HARPER nods enthusiastically.

 

TIMOTHEE

Okay, um, let me think. Bedtime songs… Okay

(light cough)

“ _Blinds wide open so he can-”_

 

ARMIEs head turns around so quickly TIMOTHEE is sure he just gave himself whiplash, eyes wide. TIMOTHEE gives him a wicked smirk before he steps in close, leaning HARPER towards ARMIE who kisses her cheek.

 

TIMOTHEE

I'm _joking._

(to Harper)

Right, little Miss, let's go.

 

ARMIE stares after them as they leave the room, his shocked expression slowly melting into a grin as he shakes his head, his heart still racing.

 

______________________________________________

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT**

 

Sound of a toilet flushing can be heard over the low music playing from ARMIE’s phone through TIMOTHEE’s speaker. ARMIE pours two glasses of wine in the galley kitchen. He hears TIMOTHEE enter back into the sitting room and flop down on the couch.

 

TIMOTHEE

(from the other room)

How do you do it, man?

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT**

 

ARMIE chuckles, walking over to the sofa, handing TIMOTHEE his glass.

 

ARMIE

Years of practice. Why do you think I look 342 years old? It’s exhausting.

 

He sits beside TIMOTHEE, takes a sip of his wine, sighing as he props his feet on the table.

 

ARMIE

It’s not for everyone, but I wouldn’t trade it.

 

TIMOTHEE

Nah man, I thought I had a lot of energy but that’s a whole ‘nother level. Now that Ford is on the move too, it’s fucking intense.

 

He raises his glass to ARMIE.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hero.

 

ARMIE

Hardly.

 

ARMIE suddenly laughs. Shaking his head, he places his glass on the table before turning back to TIMOTHEE whose hair is still in wild disarray. ARMIE carefully pulls one of the ties loose.

 

ARMIE

Sorry, I can’t take you seriously, looking like that. But, god, talk about heroes. You sure are the light of one little girl's eyes.

 

TIMOTHEE smiles, shrugs as they both work to restore TIMOTHEEs hair to its usual state of unruliness. ARMIE ignores the brief seconds their fingers touch. He reaches for his wine, downing a healthy sip once they have finished. He coughs lightly.

 

ARMIE

Yeah. Um, this sudden single parent thing, with two toddlers, it does get crazy. Like, this trip- I hadn’t realised how _hard_ it would be, traveling with them just on my own?  Might be one of the things I miss after all is said and done- a partner for the simple stuff. The everyday stuff.

 

TIMOTHEE

Last minute, with kids, never really bodes well. Still, I'm glad you brought them, I missed them.

 

ARMIE

(smiles softly)

That makes me… I’m glad to hear that. They miss you, too. We all do.

 

TIMOTHEE

Not quite _all_ , I can think of a few who would be glad never to see my face again.

 

ARMIE

I don’t want you to take that personally though, T. It’s really not you she’s mad at. She’s got this misguided idea of things in her head and it’s something she is going to have to figure out for herself. She’s just angry at everything that has anything to do with me. Placing blame everywhere she can because it’s easier that way.

 

ARMIE runs a hand over his face, scrubbing his jawline.

 

ARMIE

I hope, someday, she gets to a place where she can see this was always going to be the outcome. No matter… what _else_ happened. There was no _one_ thing that sent us on this path. We grew up. We grew apart. It’s shitty and it’s sad, but it’s the truth. I love her, will _always_ love her, but I’m not what she needs. And she’s not what I need. Not anymore.

 

TIMOTHEE

You were what, 19 when you guys got together? It’s very young…. growing up and apart is very sad but… I guess not entirely shocking. But I really didn’t see it coming for you guys.

 

ARMIE sighs and sags back into the sofa.

 

ARMIE

Yeah. I thought I knew it all. I’d been on my own for years by the time we got married. Thought I knew...myself? Had the whole world figured out, you know? Turns out, I didn’t know shit and here I am, wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life.

 

TIMOTHEE

What’s going to happen when the play ends and your _life_ resumes? I assume you won’t go _home?_

 

ARMIE

No, obviously home’s not an option anymore. For the moment, since I’m in New York, Nick’s been tasked with looking into real estate. And since we’re trying to keep the divorce off the radar, Liz is going to stay in the house for now. We may sell eventually, but we both agree it’s best, for the kids, if she stays there with them. So yeah, come the end of this run, I’m basically homeless.

 

TIMOTHEE nods, taking a healthy sip of wine, placing the glass on the floor by his foot.

 

TIMOTHEE

I am sure I don’t have to tell you you always have a place in New York, though I know you will be wanting to get back to LA. The kids seem to be - well, Hops anyway - seems to be taking it all fairly well?

 

ARMIE

I think so. Well, I hope so. They’ve been used to the traveling all their lives. Used to times when I’ve been away and they’ve come to visit, so I think for now, they feel it’s more business as usual. Check in on them ten years from now and hope I can say the same thing.

 

ARMIE frowns, his eyes distant, as if trying to see the future. TIMOTHEE smiles softly, sensing the discomfort. He reaches over to place a hand on ARMIEs shoulder.

 

TIMOTHEE

They’re going to be just fine. If they’re anything like their dad they’re made of strong stuff. The big question is... do you trust Nick’s taste or…

 

TIMOTHEE pushes ARMIE softly with a laugh before removing his hand and picking up his drink. ARMIE rolls his eyes

 

ARMIE

Not as far as I can throw him. Is why I gave him a list of definite hard limits on what I want and expect.

 

Aware that ARMIE can read him like an open book, TIMOTHEE puts his head down and pretends to fix his hair.

 

TIMOTHEE

Good. Hard limits. Um…

 

He drains his glass, rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth.

 

TIMOTHEE

There will be room for visitors, right?

 

ARMIE

Of course. Always. You’ll need a place to crash when you’re in town. Which-

 

He pauses to take a sip of wine.

 

ARMIE

What about you? What are your plans? Once filming here is finished? Back to NYC for good?

 

Sensing they are back on safer grounds, TIMOTHEE refills their glasses before launching into speech.  

 

TIMOTHEE

I actually have a meeting with Brian on- (looks at his watch) Thursday to discuss potentials. We’ve had a couple of chats, preliminary talks but… I dunno, man, I wouldn’t mind taking a bit of a break initially? Nothing major, just there’s already talk around ‘Boy and the next awards season and I just don’t wanna overload myself, end up giving half assed performances because the bullshit takes over, you know what I mean?

 

ARMIE

I do. I get that, and it’s smart of you. Not to let yourself get burned out too quickly. And being at a point where you _can_ pick and choose roles that speak to you. It helps keep it from all just being one giant slog.

 

TIMOTHEE

You don’t think it's a bit… egotistical, of me? I mean, it's not that I think I am somehow in a position to be able to pick and choose, I just… I want to _give_ everything to each role and I don’t think I can do that and promote with everything I have at the same time.

 

ARMIE

No, I don’t think it’s egotistical. Not at all. I think it’s smart. I think you are way ahead of everyone in terms of understanding that is what it takes to have a _career_ in this business. You have to pace yourself or it just becomes a _job_ and not something you _love_ for the art of it. I know you hate when I say this, but you’re gonna be- hell, you _are- a_ fucking star. You can pick and choose. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders that most in this industry couldn’t manage to comprehend. So, yeah, I think you’ve got the right of it.

 

TIMOTHEE

Thanks man. Appreciate it. I guess we see on Thursday if Brian agrees… He trusted me this far so here’s fucking hoping. I'm gonna raise the idea of maybe going back to theatre, too? I've seen so many inspiring stories lately and I kinda wanna get in on that. Back to my roots a little, keep me grounded.

 

ARMIE

Oh, fuck yeah. I know you’ve said that’s really where you feel most comfortable, so you should definitely look into that. I can’t imagine Brian wouldn’t think it’s a good option.

 

TIMOTHEE leans back on the sofa, pulling his legs up.

 

TIMOTHEE

We’d hope but saying that, he could advise against it, I might have passed on all the other options and before we know it, it’ll be me, homeless, knocking on that brand new door of yours.

 

ARMIE

I don’t see a future, _ever_ , where you end up destitute but, when you need a place to just crash, there’s worse roomies I can think of, so spare room’s all yours if you need it.

 

He tips his glass against TIMOTHEEs.

 

TIMOTHEE grins before downing the rest of his drink and motioning to ARMIE for another top up, ARMIE dutifully complies with a smirk.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hey, at least if I am back in the states you don’t have to worry about trans-atlantic’s again for a while. Save your airmiles.

 

ARMIE laughs, coughing into the back of his hand.

 

ARMIE

No, then it’s just down to transcontinentals. But, whatever, it’s worth it.

 

TIMOTHEE

And, this visit? Worth it so far?

 

ARMIE looks at TIMOTHEE with a soft smile

 

ARMIE

Absolutely. Sitting here, drinking wine, chatting you- chatting with you. Nothing better.

 

TIMOTHEE smiles knowingly, his voice lowering.

 

TIMOTHEE

Well I can imagine if things were a bit different we could make it a _little_ better.

(pause)

But, I heard a rumour that shit weed and kids don’t mix.

 

ARMIE

(laughs)

Yeah, that might not be the best combination at the moment. But, just imagine, when we’re roomies? Worse than a frat house.

 

TIMOTHEE

Dude, then I am definitely taking that break!

 

He laughs and shifts position on the sofa, lying into the cushions.

 

TIMOTHEE

Speaking of intoxication… and since we no longer have an audience… you can explain to me now what the other night was all about?

 

ARMIE lets his head fall onto the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling.

 

ARMIE

Do I need to apologise again?

 

TIMOTHEE

Will it lead to another conversation about how to tell mommy ducks from daddy ducks? Because if so, man, I don’t think I can go there again.

 

ARMIE

(laughs)

Hey, educational opportunities are not something a parent can pass up.

 

He sighs deeply, shaking his head, eyes to the ceiling.

 

ARMIE

Right, well what is there to explain except that I- I misunderstood what was happening in the moment and made a complete fool of myself.

 

He turns his head to the side, looking at TIMOTHEE, willing to face the music.

 

TIMOTHEE

Did you genuinely think I was trying to… _initiate_ something? I mean, it didn’t seem out of the blue to you?

 

ARMIE closes his eyes, his face painfully twisted, shamed.

 

ARMIE

I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t- I didn’t think. At all. That’s the problem. You… I knew you were drunk and you started the convo with making me- Having me think you weren’t alone. No…

 

He tosses his head back and forth in frustration.

 

ARMIE

Not just _alone_ but that you were with someone… more than one someone you were meant to be _paying._ And the thought. I couldn’t handle the idea someone that didn’t _know_ you or _cared_ for you- that you were going to let them. Fuck, T. I didn’t know, okay? I didn’t understand, It was a joke but it wasn’t funny and then. Then you said you wanted my hands. And I didn’t remember from the time before. My fucking head just couldn’t make sense of what was happening and I wanted- I always want to be there for you. No matter what you asked of me, I’d do it. I thought. I thought you were… asking. And I wanted- I was just trying to be a fri- someone who could help you out.

 

He takes a deep shaking breath.

 

ARMIE

I’m sorry.

 

TIMOTHEE

_I’m_ sorry the joke kinda fell flat. When I read back the next day I was fucking kicking myself. So wasted, it was a mess.

 

ARMIE

Please, don’t apologise. Nothing you did that night was your fault. Nothing you did should have made me think… That was all on me and I can’t believe I fucking did that to you. I just hope you won’t hold it against me.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hardly. What-, what would you have done if I had reciprocated?

 

ARMIE looks away, his jaw set.

 

ARMIE

Come on, T. Don’t do this. You know… you read what I was doing. It can’t be a fucking surprise what I would have done.

 

TIMOTHEE pauses, index finger running around the rim of his glass.

 

TIMOTHEE

Because I’m a guy…? Because it would be… a safe way to try it out, or…?

 

ARMIE

What? Are you- ? You think I wanted to fuck you over the phone because you were just some _dude_ I could try it out on? I’m not- it isn’t about a warm body on the other end of the line, Tim. I can’t- I’m not like that. That’s not what I- jesus, no. That is not it at all.

 

TIMOTHEE just nods, clearly trying to take everything in before he speaks again. He lifts his hand from the glass, running it across his mouth, resting it there for a second before he sits up, raking that same hand through his hair.

 

TIMOTHEE

Then I guess you were right in the restaurant? We should probably dispense with the whole ‘brother’ thing? Nothing about this seems very familial anymore…

 

ARMIE sits up slowly, sets his glass on the table. He puts his elbows on his knees and rests his face in his hands. His shoulders droop

 

ARMIE

_This_ is what I didn’t want to happen. I let myself- If I could have just been your brother and not… then it wouldn’t have ruined the best thing in my life. I didn’t mean to cross that line with you, Timmy. I tried so hard not to and the one _second_ I let myself think...fuck. And now I’ve come here and am just making everything worse.

 

TIMOTHEE

What? No, Armie. I’m not saying that-, I’m saying… um, that _this-_

 

TIMOTHEE motions between them with a wave of his right hand

 

TIMOTHEE

This is… It’s not just you. This wasn’t-, isn’t, all one sided.

 

ARMIE lifts his head, looks over at TIMOTHEE

 

ARMIE

You said… but you said those texts. That you weren’t trying to- how is that not one-sided?

 

TIMOTHEE

The hand thing? I _wasn’t_  trying to initiate anything, I thought in my drunken state I was being 100% clear. But the rest? The beginning of those messages?

 

He sits up straighter, his chest expanding on a deep inhale. He gently closes his eyes.

 

TIMOTHEE

I wanted you to be jealous. I wanted you to think that, that I was with someone. I wanted you to… _react_ . But then you got mad so I backed out. I thought _I’d_ crossed the line and then… well then I was too drunk to even realise you were misunderstanding me. But the next morning? Armie, if I had _known_ … I wouldn’t have stopped it either.

 

ARMIE sits frozen, unblinking, staring at TIMOTHEE, stunned, as if he doesn’t believe what he’s heard.

 

ARMIE

(swallows)

I… I was never mad at _you._ I was… mad at the situation. I was terrified for you and mad that anyone else… would- could be there with you. Could touch you… and it wasn’t me. I can’t-

 

He shakes his head, looking away.

 

ARMIE

I don’t think I know how to understand… you wouldn’t have stopped. You-

 

He finally looks back, eyes wide, disbelieving.

 

ARMIE

You would have-?

 

Dropping his head and pulling his sleeves over his hands, TIMOTHEE nods softly. After a beat or two he raises his eyes back to meet ARMIEs gaze.

 

TIMOTHEE

I would have.

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please. For the love of all that is holy. Don't hate us.  
> Light a candle, god blessss.
> 
> ___________________________

_ Previously in BTL: _

_ ARMIE _

_ You would have-? _

 

_ Dropping his head and pulling his sleeves over his hands, TIMOTHEE nods softly. After a beat or two he raises his eyes back to meet ARMIEs gaze. _

 

_ TIMOTHEE _

_ I would have.  _

 

_ ________________________________________ _

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT**

 

ARMIE

_ Jesus _ . 

 

He pauses, scrubbing a hand roughly over his face. 

 

ARMIE

I’m  _ really _ hating the weed situation right now.

 

Getting up swiftly, eyes never leaving TIMOTHEE, he makes his way backwards to the kitchen. 

 

ARMIE

Definitely think I’m gonna need something a lot stronger than wine for this conversation. Hope you have something?

 

TIMOTHEE, after a pause, follows behind. 

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT**

 

TIMOTHEE directs ARMIE to a cupboard full of various Scottish whiskeys as he takes two tumblers from another. He places them on the countertop and hops up beside them as ARMIE begins to pour, his left elbow grazing the side of TIMOTHEEs leg. A floodgate has been opened.

 

TIMOTHEE

It’s why I used brother so much, you know. With you. To you. 

 

ARMIE hands him a glass and they do a soft ‘cheers’. 

 

TIMOTHEE

Because it helped me to keep myself in line. Because the other night isn't the first and only time I have… anyway, it was a barrier of sorts that I gifted myself, 

 

ARMIE throws back his drink in one long draught with barely a wince. He sets his glass down and refills. He speaks with a confidence he doesn’t yet feel.

 

ARMIE

Not the first time?

 

TIMOTHEE smirks softly with a roll of his eyes.

 

TIMOTHEE

Of course  _ that's  _ the part you hear. 

Not the first time I have deliberately tried to…  _ provoke _ you, I guess? Which is so shitty of me, I know. I’m sorry.

 

ARMIE

I’m just trying to understand the  _ why _ of your need to provoke me at all. I mean… yeah, no, I want to know.

 

TIMOTHEE follows suit, downing his own drink in one go, wincing with a hand to his mouth before passing his glass to ARMIE for a refill.

 

TIMOTHEE

Because I am a masochist? Because I could- umm,… because it was safe, I guess? You had Liz. I knew you didn’t …  _ want _ me, like  _ that _ …. So I pushed the boundaries for my own sick pleasure?

 

ARMIE hands TIMOTHEE back his glass, swirling the amber liquid around in his own. 

 

ARMIE

I was safe? So you just… what? Used me the way you accused me earlier of using you? I was convenient to try on for size? 

 

TIMOTHEE

What- No! Nothing like that. Most of the time you-, it went over your head. I don’t think you even knew what I was doing. I would just flirt sometimes and see where it would take me?

 

He looks down into his glass, embarrassed, softly murmuring to himself. 

 

TIMOTHEE

Jesus, what’s  _ in _ this thing? Stop talking, Tim.

 

ARMIE

Yeah, apparently I missed a  _ lot  _ of what was going on. But,  _ why _ ? Why did you do that? Flirt or whatever? What did you  _ hope _ would happen?

 

TIMOTHEE sighs, resigned to the corner he has backed himself into. 

 

TIMOTHEE

I didn’t  _ hope _ for anything, i pretty much assumed it was a futile tactic. But sometimes, i guess, I let myself pretend it was or could be more. That just one time you would maybe flirt back a little. Many a time hoping it would result in-, well exactly what  _ didn’t _ end up happening the other night. 

 

ARMIE

I don’t- 

 

He groans in frustration, his voice turning harsh.

 

ARMIE

Why the fuck would you flirt with me, not expecting anything in return? There had to be a reason, Tim. 

 

TIMOTHEE

What do you want me to say? Why does anybody flirt with anybody? 

 

TIMOTHEE puts down his glass. He pauses, bites the sleeve of his jumper before rolling his eyes, tipping his head back.

 

TIMOTHEE

Okay, so if this blows everything up in my fucking face so be it, but... here goes. I like you. You know I do. I didn’t want to ever tell you how I felt because I knew-, thought I knew-,  it was futile and I was just so fucking relieved that we stayed close and you still wanted me around after Crema. 

 

He smiles softly, fondly, looking down at his hands in his lap. He sighs deeply before continuing. 

 

TIMOTHEE

2017 was hands down one of the best years of my life. Getting to spend so much time with you and talk about how we met to anyone who would listen. Basically fucking  _ everyone _ .

 

He looks up at ARMIE with a swift wry grin. 

 

TIMOTHEE

There were days when I would play it out in my head like we were, I don’t know,  _ together _ or something and people were asking, like at a party and I got to just be truthful and honest about how it felt, half disguised by Elio, and it was fucking amazing 

 

TIMOTHEEs lips are upturned, his face flushing at the memory. 

 

TIMOTHEE

But like it I said, it was safe, because you had Liz and she was so often  _ there _ and I knew that nothing could ever happen no matter how much I willed it into existence, y’know? 

 

His smile fades as he fidgets with his sleeves once more.  

 

TIMOTHEE 

But, then when you started to tell me about the problems and how things were kinda disintegrating I think I just lost it for a while, ended up being a shitty friend….  because that safety net I had put there for myself wasn’t there any more, or if it was it now had massive gaping holes in it that I could fall through at any time and I didn’t know how to stop myself. 

 

He looks up and tries to meet ARMIEs gaze but ARMIE is looking down at the floor, to his feet, his arms crossed over his body. 

 

TIMOTHEE

And now… this. You’re here. And _this_. I feel like I am having some kind of out-of-body experience, I don’t really know what I am doing. Or saying. I-, I-, I’ve probably said too much. 

 

ARMIE finishes his drink, setting the glass on the counter. He shoves his hands in his pockets, goes back to staring at his feet for a beat before finally looking back at TIMOTHEE

 

ARMIE

You haven’t said too much. 

 

He swallows, licks his lips

 

ARMIE

How did I not know?- 

 

TIMOTHEE

(interrupting)

Armie, I didn’t  _ want _ you to know. 

 

ARMIE

Jesus. 

 

He rubs at his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

ARMIE

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. We’ve both… we have been  _ hiding _ so much for so long. I’m sorry, Timmy. That all of my bullshit, my marriage and its problems… I never meant for that to touch you or make you feel somehow… part of the problem. I mean, look-

 

He pulls his other hand out of his pocket and drops both arms to his sides as his shoulders sag.

 

ARMIE

There’s no sense in my hemming and hawing anymore, right? The cat is literally out of the bag here now. I came… I’m here all this way, not to clear up some  _ misunderstanding _ . This is me- wanting.  _ Hoping _ to make a grand gesture. Needing you to know that everything-  _ everything you just said _ and have felt… it’s not just you either.

 

TIMOTHEE toys with the sleeves of his jumper, pulling the fabric over his thumbs, working the material between his fingertips. His head is lowered, unruly curls falling over his eyes. When he speaks his voice is soft, thick with emotion, there is a pleading edge to it. 

 

TIMOTHEE

Since-, since when? since.. Crema?

 

ARMIE pulls his eyes away from TIMOTHEEs fidgeting hands, stares openly into his face and nods

 

ARMIE

Since Crema. 

 

He takes a shuddering breath, his voice trembling

 

ARMIE

I tried to ignore it. To get over it. Say it was all ‘down to the experience’. But, I couldn’t. I can’t. I  _ tried. _

 

TIMOTHEE lets out a small sigh, relief colouring his face.

 

TIMOTHEE

Wow. okay. Yeah.  _ Fuck. _

 

He lowers his head, scratching his fingers through his curls, once again nervous. 

 

TIMOTHEE

I mean- I don’t- what happens now? how is this even going to work? …  _ fuck _ I don’t even know what ‘this’ is that I am talking about. 

 

He drops his head into his hands before sliding his hands down his face as he looks back at ARMIE.

 

ARMIEs face seems haunted, eyes red-rimmed. His mouth works for a moment, struggling to speak.

 

ARMIE

It doesn’t. I’m not trying-  _ fuck _ . Look, it’s out there now. We know, right? It just is what it is. It doesn’t have to be anything more than what it is now. I’m hardly in a position, or someone you  _ need _ to be caught up with.

 

He looks away, defeated, hand gripping at the nape of his neck.

 

TIMOTHEEs gaze hardens, his jaw set. 

 

TIMOTHEE

Hold up, what? I’m confused. You come here, kids in tow, grand gesture then “it is what it is”? Are you fucking  _ tripping _ right now? Like we can just brush past it, no big deal?What is this, some weird game show; this is what you could have won? The fuck, Armie…?

 

ARMIE takes a half step back, as if TIMOTHEE’s words held the strength to move him from his spot. 

 

ARMIE

I’m trying to do right by you. You said ‘how will this work?’ and you’re right. _How_ can it work? I am here, _kids in tow_ , Timmy. _Kids._ I’m a fucking mess of an asshole, but even as much as I lo- care for you, I want better for you than _me._ Fuck, I want to be that selfish asshole, but I’m trying. I’m _trying_ and I don’t know what to do.

 

TIMOTHEE

Do you think somehow that-

 

He gestures in the vicinity of the bedroom

 

TIMOTHEE

_ They _ escaped my attention for the past two years? I am well aware of the package deal, Armie. Don’t make this about them. You don’t think  _ this- _

 

He gestures now between the two of them

 

TIMOTHEE

Is something worth pursuing then that is on you. But don’t ever say it's because of the baggage you bring with you. Because that is bullshit. 

 

ARMIE

That is not what I’m saying, not what I’m trying to do. At all. Fuck.

 

He paces away and back again

 

ARMIE

All day, I have watched you with them and it has  _ killed  _ me. It has made me want things I shouldn’t ever ask of you. Don’t you see? I shouldn’t want to tie you down with kids and an ex-wife. But… it’s all I want. You. Jesus, Tim. You’re all I want and I don’t know how to have you in anyway that doesn’t ruin you.

 

TIMOTHEE

_ Armie _ … you already  _ have _ me. The past two years you've _had_ me. You can't, won’t,  _ ruin _ me. You know this, surely to fuck?

 

ARMIE stares at TIMOTHEE, nods. His voice a whisper.

 

ARMIE

I wish I didn’t.

 

ARMIE slowly crosses the kitchen, stops to stand in front of TIMOTHEE

 

ARMIE

I wanted better for you. You know that, right?

 

TIMOTHEE straightens up, his knees either side of ARMIEs hips. His eyes seek out ARMIE's own, his voice soft.

 

TIMOTHEE

There  _ is _ noone better for me.

 

ARMIEs palm comes to rest against the side of TIMOTHEEs neck, his thumb caressing the crest of his cheekbone as his gaze traces his face before finally settling to stare deeply into his eyes. TIMOTHEE leans gently into the caress, his eyelashes fluttering. 

 

ARMIE

You are so wrong.

 

TIMOTHEE brings his hand up to cover ARMIEs.

 

TIMOTHEE

I don’t- I really don’t think I am…

 

A small, tender smile tips one corner of ARMIEs mouth

 

ARMIE

I thought you were so much smarter than that.

 

A beat as his eyes glance at TIMOTHEEs lips.

 

ARMIE

It’s not too late. To stop this here. To back out and go on as we have. But, you have to- you have to tell me to stop, Timmy.

 

TIMOTHEE takes a deep breath, nodding, his face serious.

 

TIMOTHEE

Sto-, no I’m joking…

 

He breaks out into a grin, breaking the tension as ARMIE feigns a growl of frustration before his own smile widens.

 

ARMIE

You  _ would  _ joke at a time like this.

 

He leans forward, his eyes focused on TIMOTHEEs lips before gently sliding closed. The first press is tentative, sweet, gentle. His breath comes out in a rush as TIMOTHEE presses forward, meeting him with equal pressure and no resistance.

 

TIMOTHEE gently hooks a leg around ARMIEs thigh, pulling him impossibly close as he increases the urgency of his kisses. His hand moves to rest upon the “A” of ARMIEs hoodie, his knuckles turning white as he twists them in the fabric, mouths parting. ARMIE slides his hand into TIMOTHEEs hair, to cup the back of his head in his palm.

 

(Offscreen) 

HARPER

_ Daddy!  _

 

ARMIE stills before pulling back reluctantly, TIMOTHEE chasing his lips, trying to keep him close.

 

TIMOTHEE

_ No-no-no, Fuck... _

 

His head falls to rest on ARMIES shoulder for a brief second before he sits upright again, his eyes dazed. ARMIE, breathless, presses his forehead against TIMOTHEE’s.

 

ARMIE

Kids, remember?

 

He leans in, pressing one more quick kiss to TIMOTHEEs pouting lips before slowly easing away from him.  His hand lingers against TIMOTHEE’s thigh before dropping to his side.

 

ARMIE

Can we- can we talk. About this? After (clears throat) After I’m-? 

 

TIMOTHEE runs a hand over his lips and raises his eyebrows, shrugging in an “I guess so” manner. 

 

ARMIE runs a trembling hand through his hair

 

ARMIE

Good. Okay. I’ll just-

 

He hooks a thumb in the direction of the door.

 

ARMIE

Don’t go anywhere?

 

TIMOTHEE laughs softly.

 

TIMOTHEE

“You know I'm not going anywhere”... 


	36. Chapter 36

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT**

 

The room is now dimly lit by a lamp in the corner. The kitchen lights are off. Soft music plays in the background. TIMOTHEE sits on the sofa, feet propped on the coffee table beside two glasses and a bottle of wine. He looks to be asleep. Eyes closed, head leaning against the arm.

ARMIE enters from the bedroom. TIMOTHEEs eyes open, watching as ARMIE takes a seat next to him. ARMIE picks up a glass but doesn’t drink. He shuffles, sits back and looks at TIMOTHEE who is watching him. They stare for a long, taut beat before bursting into laughter.

ARMIE looks toward the bedroom before shushing both of them.

TIMOTHEE

_Fuck… sorry._

He drops his feet from the table and leans forward, exhaling, slowly pushing his hands through his hair. He pauses at the nape of his neck and turns his head to look at ARMIE again, one hand covering his mouth.

TIMOTHEE

She okay?

ARMIE

No, yeah. Just needed a drink of water and a cuddle. She gets like that when she’s over-tired. She’ll be up and down, more than likely, until I’m in there with them.

ARMIE takes a drink, dropping his eyes to stare into his glass.

ARMIE

You okay?

TIMOTHEE

Honestly?

ARMIE looks up, nods slowly.

ARMIE

I would hope so. Always, from you.

TIMOTHEE picks up his glass and takes a long sip. He looks down at his feet, twirling the stem of the glass between his fingers as he swallows. He looks back up at ARMIE.  

TIMOTHEE

Did that-, did we- did that just happen? Did we just-

ARMIE huffs a laugh. He sits his glass back down, deciding it’s best not to have anymore at the moment for too many reasons.

ARMIE

Not a dream because, yeah… we just-

TIMOTHEE

Holy shit.

He shifts on the seat so he is facing towards ARMIE, resting one arm over the back of the sofa, the other tucked around his knees. ARMIE watches as a hundred different emotions play out across TIMOTHEEs face before he settles on an imploring look that hurts to look at.

TIMOTHEE

Do you, umm, do you wish you, i mean, do you wish it hadn’t?

He plays with a thread on his trouser seam, studiously avoiding ARMIEs gaze.

TIMOTHEE

Because i mean it's okay, we can just-, y’know, we can forget it happened or we can just … I don’t know know man, _whatever_ we need to do, we can do it, if you regret it or-

ARMIE

(quickly)

No!

He reaches over, wrapping his hand around TIMOTHEEs bare ankle, squeezing gently, reassuringly.

ARMIE

Hey, it’s okay. I don’t regret it at all. I can’t believe it happened. Do you-

He swallows, watching his hand move to rub along TIMOTHEEs calf, up and down.

ARMIE

I’ve wanted to do that for so long, but- I get… if you need me to back off. Or if you need to pretend this didn’t happen… I’m okay with that, Timmy. I want- I need you to be okay more than anything else.

TIMOTHEE reaches down and stills ARMIEs hand. He holds it gently, his fingers delicate and light. He meets ARMIEs eyes and a small smile plays on his lips before he begins to nod his head.

TIMOTHEE

If you’re okay, I’m okay.

He lifts ARMIEs hand off his leg and places it on the sofa  between them.

TIMOTHEE

We probably need to discuss some things, though, right? And that-

He nods down to where ARMIEs hand rests.

TIMOTHEE

 _That_ , is not going to help me.

ARMIE looks away, nods before crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

ARMIE

Sorry, you’re right. Jesus, telling you it’s okay if you need space while I’m invading it. Not good. Got it.

TIMOTHEE

No! No, I just mean it’s… _distracting._ In the best fucking way. But distracting nonetheless. I am a mess of hormones right now and I am trying to be a grown up.

ARMIE stares, blinks.

ARMIE

Distracting.

He says the word like he doesn’t understand what it means.

ARMIE

We need to discuss things. What _things_ exactly?

TIMOTHEE

 _Things._ I don’t know, adult _things?_ Seems like something people say in these situations before they just fu-, anyway look, I mean we need to make sure we are on the same page here, right?

ARMIE

(strangled)

No, you’re right. You’re right.

ARMIE sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees, chin propped on his tented fingers.

ARMIE

I’m finding it hard to believe we are even in the same _book_ let alone anywhere near the same page here, T. I am fucking lost.

TIMOTHEE

We’re both at least in the library, right? Please God.

ARMIE can’t help but laugh as he looks at TIMOTHEE

ARMIE

I’m pretty sure we are?

He shifts on the sofa, one knee bent in front of him so that he can face TIMOTHEE

ARMIE

Okay. So. We’re in the library. Together, right? We’re not alone, so there’s no reason to be… scared? To just… speak. I mean-

He shoves a hand through his hair, huffing out a sigh

ARMIE

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of- talking around all of this? Tired of trying _not_ to say things. So maybe we can, now… I don’t know? Just...say them?

TIMOTHEE nods with a tight lipped smile.

TIMOTHEE

Sorry, force of habit. So not scared to speak anymore, just… genuinely fucking scared.

ARMIE

Then maybe let’s talk about that… I’m terrified. For so many reasons, but I don’t want that for you. What can I do… how can I make this less frightening for you?

TIMOTHEE

Man, I don’t know… _Fuck._ I want this too, so fucking much, but I guess I just keep coming back to the... ‘how’? How does this work, how do I not fuck this up, how do I know you’re not going to wake up tomorrow and-,

He lets out a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He bites his lower lip, staring down at his hands.

TIMOTHEE

I know, I know you don’t have the answers here. I mean in so far as knowing how this is going to play out so I am not expecting you to know its just-, I think it is hitting me now how much I could really fucking let you down and I just…

He trails off, throwing one hand up in the air with a shake of his head.

ARMIE

_Timmy._

ARMIEs voice catches, his eyes shining and red-rimmed.

ARMIE

You could never let me down. _Never_.

TIMOTHEE

I guess time will tell.

He runs his hands through his hair, messing up the already unruly curls.

TIMOTHEE

That said, I don’t want to presume anything or put any kind of pressure on you or expect something you’re not ready for but I… I just need to know what I am getting into. What it is that you want?

ARMIE

I’m not sure what you want me to say here? I’ve left my wife, I’ve traveled three thousand miles with my kids to your doorstep to do this. I’m not in this halfway, Tim. I want… everything- Everything a relationship entails. _Everything._ With you. That’s the fucking honest truth of it all. But- I do worry what this might do _to_ you. Your career. It’s not going to be a walk in the park. So, I guess now it all depends on whether you think it’s worth it and whether that’s what _you_ want.

TIMOTHEE

I-, I guess-, I mean, when we are together? Like today? It just feels so… fucking right to me, like this is how every day should be. I am just worried that I have little to no experience of real relationships and… I just-, this is a lot. Y’know? I want it, I do, but saying it out loud is… it's a lot.

ARMIE nods, scratches at the stubble along his jaw.

ARMIE

It is a lot. And I understand your apprehension. But- look at me. Ten years with someone and I couldn’t make it work. I don’t know if the worry of never getting it right ever leaves you, whether you’ve been with one person or a hundred. All I know is, the thought of- of not _trying_ with you… but, I didn’t come here to force you into this or give you an ultimatum or some shit. (sighs) I just want the chance to _try_ , but _only_ if that is something you think is worth it.

TIMOTHEE

Of course I think you-, it, is worth it. I don’t think either of us would be sitting here otherwise, I guess it is just going to take some getting used to. That it is not just a daydream in my head anymore, that I can’t control your side of this too now and that I have to be okay with that.

ARMIE

Right. Neither of us are in control of any of this. So, maybe this… you and me. We keep it just between us? A bubble and see- see where it goes?

TIMOTHEE

I don’t think the pressure of anyone else knowing right now would be good for us? So yeah. Just you, me and the wall. Though, maybe… Nick? He should know he is in the clear now?

ARMIE nods his head with a smile.

ARMIE

Nick will know the second he sees my face, so not a problem there.

(A beat)

Sooo, we’re-

He motions between them with a wave of his hand

ARMIE

‘this’ now?

TIMOTHEE tries and fails to suppress a grin. He extends his leg to nudge his foot against ARMIEs ankle.

TIMOTHEE

I guess we are _this_ now. Yeah.

ARMIE takes the move as a green light and pulls on TIMOTHEEs leg, dragging him across the sofa until he’s sitting in ARMIEs lap.

ARMIE ignores TIMOTHEEs weak protest, holding him in place with his hands on TIMOTHEEs waist.

ARMIE

You were sitting way too far away for us to be _this._

TIMOTHEE laughs, all traces of apprehension disappearing with the proximity of ARMIE, his hormones overruling his mind. He traces a fingertip along the collar of ARMIEs t-shirt, settling into the hollow of his throat.

TIMOTHEE

Well, um, I guess since we are _this_ then it would be okay for me to pick up where you left off earlier? Maybe?

ARMIEs hands curve around TIMOTHEEs waist, sliding slowly up his back until they curl around his shoulders, pulling him down, closer.

ARMIE

I think that might be the best fucking idea you’ve had all day.

TIMOTHEE leans back slightly, tossing the curls out of his face. As soon as he leans forward, they are back in his eyes. ARMIE gives a short laugh before using his own hand to push them out of TIMOTHEEs way.

TIMOTHEE moans into the touch and closes his eyes for a brief second before turning his head and catching the heel of ARMIEs palm with a soft kiss. The fingertip at ARMIEs throat wraps itself around the neck of his t-shirt as TIMOTHEE pulls him up closer, turning back towards him and leaning down to meet his lips.

ARMIE groans as their lips meet. His hand slides into TIMOTHEEs hair, holding the back of his head to control the direction TIMOTHEE moves. There is a loud rush of air through TIMOTHEEs nose as ARMIE sucks at his bottom lip, licking into his mouth to deepen the kiss.

TIMOTHEE runs a hand through ARMIEs hair, pulling gently as he grinds his hips forward, unable to stop himself. His kisses intensify, his tongue teasing ARMIE, his teeth biting and pulling on his lower lip. Low gravelly moans.

Suddenly he breaks away, pulling back and dropping a hand to ARMIEs chest, pushing him back down into the seat.

TIMOTHEE

Stop, stop-stop-stopstopstop.

He shakily exhales, his mouth open, lips reddened.

TIMOTHEE

I just-need a moment.

ARMIE drops his hands instantly, looks up at TIMOTHEE, dazed.

ARMIE

OKay. You- okay? Was that… not good?

TIMOTHEE lets out a small laugh on a panting exhale before he leans down and gently kisses ARMIE once more.

TIMOTHEE

Quite the fucking opposite. You’re an unbelievable kisser. I just- I needed to stop.

ARMIE looks down, staring at the hollow of TIMOTHEEs throat. His hands resting on TIMOTHEEs thighs, his thumbs idly stroking before he looks up, leans in presses a soft kiss to the corner of TIMOTHEEs mouth.

ARMIE

Stopping’s no fun.

TIMOTHEE fidgets with the cords of the “A” hoodie, drawing them into small knots with his fingers, over and over.

TIMOTHEE

I know it isn’t, but…  think we should, umm, maybe - I mean, I know, with the kids and everything it is not something-, but maybe we should… I need to… slow down a little?

ARMIE hums, dragging the stubble of his cheek along TIMOTHEEs throat, pressing his nose into the hair behind his ear. His tongue darting, flicking at the lobe before sucking it into his mouth.

ARMIE

I know you’re right, but… why does the thought make me want to howl? I don’t _want_ to slow down. Fuck. I want to-

He opens his mouth, biting the skin of TIMOTHEEs neck, sucking to the point where it almost leaves a mark.

TIMOTHEE throws his head back with a sigh, clearly not very eager to slow down himself. He nudges ARMIEs chest with his hands.

TIMOTHEE

Stop. Please? Stop.

He leans down and plants a gentle kiss before slowly shuffling back and off ARMIEs lap.

TIMOTHEE

I don’t trust myself, or you, right now.

ARMIE takes TIMOTHEEs hand in his, tracing the length of each finger with his own

ARMIE

I don’t want to stop touching you now.

He makes exaggerated work of placing TIMOTHEEs hand back in his own lap and sitting back on the sofa, putting space between them.

ARMIE

But, you’re right. I fucking hate it but you’re right.

He shoves a hand through his hair.

ARMIE

We need to slow this down.

TIMOTHEE

Yes. Just don’t always rely on the 22yr old for restraint. That's bound to end in disaster.

ARMIE

(laughing)

This 31yr old isn’t any better.

(pauses a beat)

There’s no _reason_ to rush this, you’re right. I mean, this is it… we’re in it now? So maybe- _jesus_ , it’s been fucking ages since I’ve had to do this. Are there _boundaries_ or lines not to cross? Things we need to discuss? You gotta help me out here. I am fucking clueless and if you don’t lay down the law with me, I am not going to be held responsible for my actions in about ten minutes.

ARMIE smirks but his words are truthful.

TIMOTHEE

You make it sound very _very_ tempting to stall for a while.

TIMOTHEE touches a fingertip to his neck before leaning forward and grabbing his glass, draining the last of his wine.

TIMOTHEE

If I am being honest? I don’t really feel comfortable with… _more_ than what we have done so far while you’re still. Y’know. _Technically_ married.

ARMIE

I respect that. I shouldn’t really ask anything more of you until I’m free, completely free. That’s not fair to you.

TIMOTHEE

So I guess that rules out the need for any boundaries, right?

ARMIE

I guess so. Hands off until my divorce comes through?

ARMIE sighs, rubs a hand across his face, stubble rasping against his palm.

ARMIE

That is a sentence I never thought I would say. It feels like- as if I should be sad about that? But-

He looks at TIMOTHEE, a soft smile on his face

ARMIE

I’m not.

TIMOTHEE

Yet. I am not naive enough to think that might not change. I’m not saying _this_ is some kind of rebound but I know things are rarely ever black or white.

ARMIE

This is _definitely_ not some sort of rebound.

He reaches for TIMOTHEEs hand once more, bringing it to his mouth, pressing his lips to his knuckles.

ARMIE

It is black and white for me. I’m just going to have to make sure you know that and have no reason to doubt me in that. Ever.

TIMOTHEE

None of us know the future, that is all i am sayin’. We don’t even know who we will be tomorrow, let alone in months time. I just hope… it’s worth it. That I can be worth it.

ARMIE lets his head fall to the side, resting against the back of the sofa. He stares at TIMOTHEE a beat.

ARMIE

You already are.

He squeezes his hand.

ARMIE

I do understand what you are saying though. We don’t know what the future will be, what’s going to happen once I’m gone back and you’re here.

TIMOTHEE

And we have to be really fucking open about this, okay? Every step of it. Good _and_ bad? Because above all I do not want to lose your friendship. I will sacrifice pretty much anything for that.

ARMIE

Absolutely. Agreed. Our friendship will always be the priority. I never want to lose that. No matter what else happens between us, or doesn’t happen between us. I won’t keep anything from you, even if it hurts to share. You deserve that, after all that’s happened. No more half-truths from me, I swear. But- I want the same from you. You have to tell me things. Straight up, T. You’ve seen how fucking thick I am… how blind I am when it comes to you. You just have to tell me.

TIMOTHEE

Deal.

He crawls back across ARMIE, draping him in a hug, his lips pressed softly to the side of his neck.

ARMIE wraps his arms around TIMOTHEEs waist, pulling him close, holding him tight. His face buried against TIMOTHEEs shoulder. He sighs.

ARMIE

_God, T._

(whispers)

I still can’t fucking believe this is real.

TIMOTHEE pulls back with a grin, his eyes glinting. He runs his hand across the side of ARMIEs face, his fingertips light, cool. Stopping at his jaw, he brackets ARMIEs mouth before slowly dragging his thumb along his lips. Still grinning, he leans in to capture ARMIEs bottom lip with his own.

At the contact, ARMIE surges forward. His hands grip tight at the fabric covering TIMOTHEEs back, deepening the kiss before slowly pulling away. He is breathless, his voice a low whisper.

ARMIE

You should come with a warning label, because fucking hell, you really should have won that Oscar. I’m definitely not kissing Elio anymore.

TIMOTHEE

What the hell does that mean?

ARMIE

 _You_ know what you’re doing. Elio? Not so much.

TIMOTHEE giggles and speaks between kisses, his voice playful.

TIMOTHEE

 _Elio_ had to behave himself. _Elio_ had to pretend not to know what it was that he wanted, only that he wanted it. _I_ have no such issue…

ARMIE

(smirks)

Apparently not.

ARMIE moves his hands to TIMOTHEEs sides, tickling relentlessly as he squirms and struggles to get away.

ARMIE

Shhh, you’ll wake up the kids.

He warns with false levity, breathless with his own laughter and happiness. He quickly presses a kiss to TIMOTHEEs mouth, just because he can.

TIMOTHEE

You can’t _do_ that and then be the one to tell me to be quiet, Bammer, that’s not how this works.

ARMIE

I think that is _exactly_ how this works.

TIMOTHEE

You can’t use your kids against me, that is immoral. Though, it does beg the question…

ARMIE

Which is?

TIMOTHEE stalls, leans in close to ARMIEs ear, whispers softly.

TIMOTHEE

Just _how_ you plan on not waking them once the ban is lifted.

ARMIE closes his eyes on a groan

ARMIE

I think I’ll manage some way to keep you quiet. But-

He brings a hand to TIMOTHEEs face, tucking a curl behind his ear

ARMIE

That may require an entirely separate set of negotiations.

TIMOTHEE bites the inside of his cheek, his eyes closing, leaning his forehead against ARMIEs.

TIMOTHEE

Couldn’t let me win just once, could you?

ARMIE

Where’s the fun in that?

TIMOTHEE leans in with an instantly passionate, open-mouthed kiss, once again grinding his hips into ARMIE. Feeling ARMIE reciprocate, he trails his hand down his chest, down his side, along his outer thigh before running the back of his fingers up his inner thigh across his groin.

TIMOTHEE

Guess you’ll never know.

With one last swift kiss, he steps up off ARMIE and, with a wink, makes his way to the bathroom.

 

________________________________

 

**July 11, 2018**

 

**< 02.24gmt>**

Why did we say this

was a good idea again?

 

**< 02.24gmt>**

_Because otherwise i’d be in danger_

_of being arrested?_

 

**< 02.24gmt>**

Arrested? For what, exactly?

 

**< 02.25gmt>**

_Well, I am not au fait with UK law_

_but I’m pretty sure mounting someone_

_in front of their children is probably_

_at minimum frowned upon._

 

**< 02.25gmt>**

Did you just use the word ‘mounting’?

 

**< 02.26gmt>**

Why is that so fucking hot?

 

__________________

 

 **Timothée Chalamet✓ @RealChalamet** replying to @ttiimmootthhee

I was only allowed to wear it in Austin!! *cowboy emoji*

 

__________________

 

**< 02.28gmt>**

_As you said, it's been a while…_

 

**< 02.31gmt>**

It has been.

 

**< 2.31gmt>**

Fair warning, I have no idea

what I’m doing here.

 

**< 02.32gmt>**

_Well, way to kill the mood :p_

 

**< 2.33gmt>**

Shit. Yeah, right. Okay. Let me start this over.

 

**< 2.33gmt>**

What are you wearing?

*laugh emoji*

 

**< 02.34gmt>**

_Now you’ll be getting arrested you big perv._

_Go to sleep. Let me have a wank in peace._

_*middle finger emoji*_

 

**< 02.34gmt>**

WTF. How am I supposed to

go to sleep NOW?

 

**< 02.35gmt>**

_It’ll be hard… but youll manage._

_Night xo_

 

**< 02.35gmt>**

_Btw_

 

**< 02.35gmt>**

_I am very happy you came here. x_

 

 **_<_ ** **2.36gmt >**

I hope to more than manage.

*wink emoji*

 

 **_<_ ** **2.36gmt >**

I’m really happy too

 

 **_<_ ** **2.36gmt >**

Sweet dreams, my sweet T.

 

__________________

 

 **Armie Hammer** **✓ @armiehammer** replying to @RealChalamet @ttiimmootthhee

Giddyup!

 

__________________

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**July 11, 2018**

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - MORNING**

 

Soft morning light bleeds in through the semi-open blinds, bathing the room in a warm glow. Rustling can be heard, a rhythmic pattern. 

 

Glasses and bottles litter the table. Crayons are scattered everywhere, a torn out page of a colouring book has distinct adult additions crudely drawn in black. In one corner “Timmy. Age: 5”.

 

On the sofa, TIMOTHEE is clearly awake, one arm flung over his eyes. The other the main source of noise in the room, the quilt masking the activity below his waistline. His stomach and chest are bare, his t-shirt pulled up high, the hem caught between his teeth.  

 

His body undulating, he struggles to keep quiet, low pained moans edging out around the faux gag in his mouth. His hand works overtime until he finally finds his release, his body spasming, teeth clenched hard. 

 

Silence now, but for low heavy breathing. A whispered “ _ Fuck”.  _

 

**_______________**

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING**

 

A boxer-short clad TIMOTHEE creeps around the bedroom, careful to be as quiet as possible. 

 

On the bed, ARMIE lies at a diagonal, a child under each arm, both sleeping soundly against his chest. Soft sleepy breathing. 

 

TIMOTHEE picks up random clothes from a pile on the floor, giving them a cursory sniff before selecting a t-shirt and a pair of velvet tracksuit pants. He tiptoes to a drawer and pulls out some clean boxers. 

 

With one hand, he shucks down his underwear, kicking off one foot, before pulling on the fresh pair, rearranging himself. He rakes his hand through his hair and briefly checks the time on his watch.

 

He turns and gasps audibly, one hand flying to his chest. FORD sits upright on the bed, watching TIMOTHEE, his expression curious. TIMOTHEE blushes and smiles, moving towards to the bed, whispering so as not to wake the others.

 

TIMOTHEE

Good morning, I  _ really _ hope you did not just see that. Did you sleep well? Will I need to pay for therapy?

 

He readjusts the clothes he is holding in one arm and, with the other, picks FORD up from the bed, FORDs arms wrapped instinctively around his neck. 

 

TIMOTHEE

You wanna come on a trip with Timmy? Hmm? Come on, we will get you suited and booted too. Leave these two lazy bones here, huh?

 

FORD responds by laying his head on TIMOTHEEs bare shoulder, clearly not fully awake yet. TIMOTHEE drops a soft kiss on his forehead before turning towards the door. Shifting his clothes into the hand holding FORD, he leans down and  grabs a bag from the floor, the same one he saw ARMIE use yesterday to change diapers and the two boys quietly leave the room.

 

**_______________**

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING**

 

Fully dressed, grey hoodie, velvet bottoms, lace-tied boots, TIMOTHEE walks back into the bedroom where ARMIE and HARPER remain sound asleep. He watches them for a split second with a soft smile before he leans low, placing a hand on ARMIEs shoulder. He shakes him gently. 

 

TIMOTHEE

Armie…

 

ARMIEs brow furrows slightly before he inhales deeply and his eyelids flutter open. He instinctively moves to check where HARPER and FORD are. He locates HARPER before his expression turns to confusion. He raises his glance to TIMOTHEE.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hey, morning, don’t worry Ford is with me. 

 

ARMIE groans gently, relaxing, his eyes slipping closed again. His free hand moves to grip the back of TIMOTHEEs head, his fingers working through the curls. 

 

TIMOTHEE

We are just heading out to the shop, okay? We won’t be long. Go back to sleep. 

 

He smiles indulgently as ARMIE nods, already halfway there. Leaning forward he drops a swift kiss to ARMIEs lips before backing out of the room. 

 

**_______________**

  
  
  


**< 09.25gmt>**

_ *Photo* _

_ Ford said he is happy to have the full English? _

_ *grin emoji* _

 

**< 09.31gmt>**

Definitely. And he takes his coffee black. 

*laugh emoji*

 

**< 09.31gmt>**

You didn’t say bye.

 

**< 09.31gmt>**

Is the honeymoon over?

 

**< 09.35gmt>**

_ I did say bye. You don’t remember our epic make out  _

_ sesh before i left? _

 

**< 09.35gmt>**

_ Also, I remember what a good _

_ house husband you are, so feel free to work _

_ your magic.  _

 

**< 09.37gmt>**

You need to come back and refresh my memory.

 

**< 09.37gmt>**

You’ll soon learn when there are kids

around, the mess just multiplies. H is also wired for

some reason this morning. Please save me. 

 

**< 09.40gmt>**

_ Be home soon, honey :x _

 

**< 09.45gmt>**

Now I could get used to that.

*heart emoji*

 

_________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim photo: Selfie w/FORD in supermarket trolley seat. TIMOTHEE has cap on backwards, arm around FORD, biting packet of bacon that FORD has in his left hand. In his right, FORD grips tightly to a packet of sausages. His head is turned, away from camera, gazing at TIMOTHEE.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a wild couple of days, huh?

 

**July 11, 2018**

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - MORNING**

  


ARMIEs face is split with a wide grin. His phone rests, face down on his bare chest, one hand covering it. Beside him HARPER starts to stir. He places his phone on the bedside table as HARPER sits up, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Her hair sticks up in every direction.

 

ARMIE

Good morning, sunshine.

 

He reaches over, pulling her close as she snuggles in against his chest with a yawn. HARPER eventually lifts her head for a second, looking at the empty space in bed beside ARMIE

 

HARPER

Where’s brother?

 

ARMIE kisses her forehead, squeezing her tight to his side.

 

ARMIE

He went to help Timmy bring back breakfast. They’ll be back soon.

 

HARPER

I want pancakes.

 

ARMIE chuckles

 

ARMIE

When do you _not_ want pancakes, you goose?

 

ARMIE teases, tickling her until she squeals and laughs.

 

He leans over, kissing her cheek with a loud wet smack that she immediately wipes away with a scrunched up face.

 

ARMIE

Since brother is being such a big boy and helping Timmy, you want to help me make coffee?

 

HARPER nods and quickly clamors down off the bed, eager to be of assistance.

 

ARMIE

Alright, let’s potty and brush our teeth and then we can make coffee

 

HARPER takes off running for the bathroom

 

__________________________________

 

  
**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - MORNING**

 

TIMOTHEE bounds into the room, FORD toddling along behind him carrying a small box, TIMOTHEEs cap almost obscuring his eyes.  

 

Dropping a grocery bag on a side table, he comes up behind HARPER, wrapping his arms around her, giggling as she squeals in delight. He kisses her on the cheek before moving to ARMIE, a soft smirk on his face as he places his hand to the back of his neck before stroking to the side of his face. He ends it on a soft tap against his jaw before turning his attention back to FORD.

 

TIMOTHEE

Ford, you want to show Daddy what you have?

 

FORD raises the box and HARPER makes a grab for it. She is not quick enough and with a small cry, FORD clutches it and runs around the other side of the table.

 

TIMOTHEE

D’ya wanna tell him what you told me in the shop about it all?

 

He looks to ARMIE, raising an eyebrow in a “humour me” expression. FORD is now at their feet and holds his prize out to ARMIE with a big grin, cap fully falling in his face. ARMIE takes the cap off his head and resets it on TIMOTHEEs before taking the box from FORD with a gracious thank you.

 

ARMIE

(sotto voce)

There’s nothing gonna jump out at me, is there?

 

TIMOTHEE leans down, palm flat. FORD gives him a low five in a clearly practiced exchange.

 

TIMOTHEE

Trust issues, Bam?

 

ARMIE

When you’ve reached into bag of Doritos and pulled out nothing but soggy, pre-licked chips, then you can question my trust issues.

 

He elbows TIMOTHEE playfully in the ribs.

 

TIMOTHEE

Bet you still ate them?

 

ARMIE rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny the accusation

 

HARPER

Daddy, Daddy, what is it? Can I open it, Daddy?

 

ARMIE

You can help.

 

ARMIE sets the box on the table as HARPER climbs up into the chair as they open it. TIMOTHEE picks up FORD and sets him on his shoulders, knocking his cap off in the process, as they move closer to the table.

 

ARMIE turns to TIMOTHEE with a questioning gaze. He holds a phone in his hand.

 

ARMIE

Ummm, thanks?

 

TIMOTHEE

Ford? Tell Daddy what we got him a phone for?

 

FORD clearly pleased with himself for being in on the act responds enthusiastically.

 

FORD

Pi’shurs!

 

TIMOTHEE

That’s right, dude. Pictures.

 

He indicates down at the phone

 

TIMOTHEE

This phone has a dual sim, you can use it wherever. But this phone is _not_ going to be the one you text your good friend Timothee on. You can text him on the main one. _This_ one is going to be the one you text _me_ on. Or, you know, the one that says yes to pictures. If you know what I mean.

 

He smirks and pats his own trouser back pocket.

 

TIMOTHEE

I got one too, I already saved you under an alias. I am not getting caught out with this. No face shots. Ever.

 

ARMIE stares at the phone in his hand before looking up at TIMOTHEE, stunned. HARPER clambers down from the table once she saw there was nothing fun in the box for her and makes her way over to her toys.

  


ARMIE

Wait. No face shots? _Pictures?_

 

FORD

Pi’shurs!

 

TIMOTHEE laughs, his face reddening slightly.

 

TIMOTHEE

Yes. Pictures.

 

ARMIE

This phone. You’re saying is for… pictures.

 

TIMOTHEE

Are you having a stroke? Yes, pictures…. _Oh, wait…._  I guess back in your day you did… what… Etch-a-sketch?

 

ARMIE

What is it with you and the age jokes? Daddy kink?

 

TIMOTHEE shrugs, doesn’t argue. He looks down at the ground around his feet.

 

TIMOTHEE

If the cap fits...

 

ARMIE arches a brow, stowing that little nugget fact away for later perusal before focusing back on the subject at hand.

 

ARMIE

You’ve met Liz. Her pics tend to be more Instagram worthy, not… It never crossed my mind _you_ would want to, you know…

 

TIMOTHEE

I’ve a good imagination, dude, but you know nothing beats the real thing sometimes. I figure if… I mean, I know we said nothing can happen, or, rather, it can’t happen _together_ … so I guess this is a compromise of sorts?

 

ARMIE smiles wide and bright.

 

ARMIE

Hey, no. Compromise…. I _love_ a good compromise.

 

TIMOTHEE

‘-ing position’?

 

ARMIE barks out a laugh.

 

ARMIE

With you? Any position will do.

 

TIMOTHEE coughs, re-adjusting FORD on his shoulders. FORD giggles softly, holding tight to TIMOTHEEs hair.

 

TIMOTHEE

Have you no shame in front of your children?

 

ARMIE smirks, tosses the phone in the air, catching in the palm of his hand.

 

ARMIE

You know, my kids aren’t always going to be around so you shouldn’t get too used to using them to wiggle out of conversations and situations _you_ started.

 

He pokes TIMOTHEE in the stomach with the edge of the phone with a lascivious wink.

 

TIMOTHEE

 _Ah, stop, stop._ No, I know. I don’t trust myself. If we go down the position route, I can’t be held liable for what I do or say. I apologise for using your children as buffers but, trust me, it is 110% for the greater good.

 

ARMIE

Trust _me_ , if they weren’t here… not sure how long our ‘pact’ to wait would last. So, I applaud your willingness to self-censor and self-control

 

TIMOTHEE bumps ARMIEs shoulder with his hip, a big grin on his face.

 

TIMOTHEE

I’m a true martyr.

 

Looking back down, ARMIE swipes across the screen, bringing the phone to life. There’s only one number in his contacts.

 

ARMIE

You’re a true sly motherfucker. What name did you use in yours?

 

TIMOTHEE

I put you in as “B”

 

ARMIE brightens, sitting up straight in his seat.

 

ARMIE

“B”?

 

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, “B”. I don’t think Bammer would be that subtle, in fairness.

 

ARMIE looks back at the phone, the smile on his face fading just a bit.

 

ARMIE

Ah. (a beat) ‘Bammer’, yeah, that’s… perfect. Besides, no one’s gonna see it anyway, right?

 

TIMOTHEE

I only planned once monthly uploads to Twitter, so…

 

ARMIE leans back against TIMOTHEEs leg, looking up at him with a smirk on his face.

 

ARMIE

Very funny. So… when can I expect I might need to use this first?

 

Taking one hand off FORDs leg, TIMOTHEE drops it to cup ARMIEs face.  He rubs his cheek gently with his thumb before moving his hand to his shoulder.

 

TIMOTHEE

Personally? I’d be sure to keep it fully charged.

 

__________________________________

 

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - EVENING**

 

TIMOTHEE sits between ARMIE and FORD on the sofa. FORD is tucked into his side, his head resting against TIMOTHEE as he mouths at a large chip.  HARPER sits at the coffee table with her plate of food and two dolls, hosting her own private dinner party.

 

Paper wrapping is everywhere, bags of chips and battered fish lay out on the table.

 

TIMOTHEE

This is so good, man.

 

ARMIE

What is?

 

TIMOTHEE licks his fingers before reaching out, dislodging FORD with a quick apology, to scoop more food onto his plate. He sits back and allows FORD to cuddle back in.

 

TIMOTHEE

This batter shit. But also, this. Watching these two make a f-, show of themselves is filling me with an odd sense of pride.

 

ARMIE leans his head on TIMOTHEEs other shoulder.

 

ARMIE

To hear you say that, to watch you with them, does me the same way.

 

TIMOTHEE grins before stealing a chip from ARMIEs plate even though his own is still full.

 

TIMOTHEE

If your LA crowd could see you now…

 

ARMIE

I’m not exactly one for kale and kombucha but you can’t get shit like this there.

 

TIMOTHEE

Liz will murder you for feeding them this, you do know that right?

 

ARMIE

She totally will.

 

He laughs and picks up his phone.

 

ARMIE

Ford, Hops, let’s take a picture to send to Mommy.

 

HARPER, ever-ready for a photo opportunity, climbs onto the sofa, squeezing in between the arm and FORD. TIMOTHEE leans as far back as he can, out of sight of the camera as both kids cheese it up. FORD holds a chip in his fist like a prize. Smiling faces shining with the remnants of the greasy meal they all just enjoyed.

 

ARMIE hits send and places his phone back on the table with a smug grin and a wink in TIMOTHEEs direction.

 

TIMOTHEE

W-ow, okay remind me never to get on your bad side, Tom Petty.

 

ARMIE

Small joys.

 

TIMOTHEE

We will probably hear the meltdown from here. Not what I need after today’s shoot... It will ruin our cosy vibe, dude.

 

ARMIE takes a drink, stares at TIMOTHEE for a beat

 

ARMIE

You _really_ do enjoy this, don’t you?

 

TIMOTHEE nods enthusiastically, mouth full of food. He half laughs as he tries to speed chew.

 

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, I do. Why do you say it like that? I mean, why wouldn’t I?

 

ARMIE stares at the glass in his hand, tracing his finger around the rim of it.

 

ARMIE

I don’t know? It’s a far cry from Coachella and the French Riviera with Abel.

 

TIMOTHEE rolls his eyes in mock annoyance.

 

TIMOTHEE

Yeah, well, can’t be having fun _24/7_ , you know? Need a break sometimes.

 

ARMIE

That’s it, though. _This-_

 

He motions to himself before sweeping his hand to include the kids.

 

ARMIE

If we- if this is what we are doing, then this is how it is. I mean, I won’t have the kids 24/7 but.

 

He pauses, shakes his head.

 

ARMIE

Look, what I’m trying to say is, being with me isn’t going to be at all comparable to hanging with _The Weeknd_ and that fucking crew. I don’t...You are giving up an awful lot here, if this happens.

 

TIMOTHEE frowns, putting his plate back on the coffee table, throwing a quick smile at FORD who looks up from his plate at the noise. He drops one hand softly, briefly, on ARMIEs knee.

 

TIMOTHEE

Dude, I don’t really know where you’re pulling this from but… I _know_ it is not going to be the same. But I also know that I am not _giving one up for the other_ either. I want to be-, I want _us_ to be together. That matters more to me than heading out to some nightclub and getting my-, _anyway_. Doesn’t matter. I want this.

 

He smiles encouragingly at ARMIE with an imploring nod.

 

ARMIE turns his head away from the direction of the kids and leans in close to TIMOTHEEs ear, whispering

 

ARMIE

Imagine this is the moment I would kiss you if I could.

 

He leans back away and nods his head.

 

ARMIE

It does matter and I want you to feel free… to do what makes you happy. I don’t want this between us to be some kind of noose around your neck. Or make you feel as if you have to change what you do, or fu- Yeah.

 

TIMOTHEE

I _am_ still free to walk away.

 

ARMIE

Of course you are. Any time. I’m not trying- Listen, I’m not putting demands on this. I don’t… I just wanted you to know that I understand there are shortcomings here, to this. To being this. That’s all.

 

TIMOTHEE

Did you do this with Liz?

 

ARMIE

Do what with Liz?

 

TIMOTHEE

Outline all the pitfalls for her? Line up all the mistakes she is about to make?

 

ARMIE sits back on the sofa with a sigh.

 

ARMIE

No. Of course I didn’t.

 

TIMOTHEE

Exactly. So, y’know, maybe give me some credit? I’ve my eyes open, you don’t have to worry for me.

 

ARMIE presses his knee against TIMOTHEEs

 

ARMIE

I _do_ worry. I can’t help it. I only… Okay. Yeah. Anything I say from this point is just going to make me a condescending asshole.

 

TIMOTHEE beams at him, happy to have won this battle.

 

TIMOTHEE

True. And I _much_ prefer when my dates tell me how _good_ it’s gonna be…

 

ARMIE can’t fight the smirk that creeps onto his face

 

ARMIE

That’s how it is, huh?

 

TIMOTHEE nods slowly, biting his lip. His eyes zone in on ARMIEs mouth and he leans forward slightly before pausing, holding. He rocks back and forth slightly before dropping his gaze with a shake of his head and a small cough.

 

He looks back up directly at HARPER who is swirling chips slowly around the sauce on her plate.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hops, what do you think of the sauce, did you like it?

 

HARPER

Nooo, I don’t like sauce, only ketchup.

 

TIMOTHEE

You’re a hard lady to please.

 

HARPER

Ketchup is the best. Do you like ketchup?

 

TIMOTHEE

I sure do. It is one of my favourites. Next time I will make sure to have some here for you? Well, not _here_ but in my house?

 

HARPER

Where is your house?

 

TIMOTHEE

New York, you came to my old house there before, do you remember? You were only little though. Not a big girl like now.

 

ARMIE sits back, arms folded over his chest as TIMOTHEE and HARPER continue chatting, until FORD slips off the sofa, pulling on HARPERs hand to have her join him playing in the floor of the sitting room. TIMOTHEE smiles, watching them.

 

ARMIE

Should I be jealous?

 

TIMOTHEE

Excuse me?

 

ARMIE

(clearly teasing)

You’re awfully keen to chat up my daughter.

 

TIMOTHEE

Actually, I hate to say it but… I think I just have this affect on people of the Hammer persuasion? Bloodline, that is. Not your mother, obviously.

 

ARMIE

No one has that effect on my mother, but yeah. Other people? Definitely.

 

TIMOTHEE

Its kinda adorable you’re _jealous_.

 

ARMIE

Well, I’m not _actually_ jealous of my daughter, but… it isn’t a trait I’m very proud of.

 

TIMOTHEE

The jealousy?

 

ARMIE starts collecting the wrappers and containers the food had come in, studiously ignoring TIMOTHEEs gaze.

 

ARMIE

It can be a… problem. At times. Like I said, I’m not proud of it and I do try to rein it in when I can, but… since we’re- since we’ve decided to be honest and open and… _this_ then this is probably something you should know about me.

 

TIMOTHEE

Again, you really sell yourself well, Bam.

 

TIMOTHEE dramatically rolls his eyes to heaven with a soft smile.

 

TIMOTHEE

I find it kinda… flattering. But, don’t worry, I'll let you know if it becomes an issue.

 

ARMIE

 _If_ it becomes an issue. Believe that ship has sailed.

 

TIMOTHEE

It has? When?

 

ARMIE goes into the kitchen and dumps the trash in the bin. When he returns, he leans against the wall in front of TIMOTHEE. Arms folded across his chest, he looks at the floor.

 

ARMIE

Scotland.

 

TIMOTHEE

Scotland? Why? Because we weren’t in touch?

 

HARPER

Daddy, where’s Scotland?

 

ARMIE looks up with a frown on his face.

 

ARMIE

Scotland is a country not far from here, Hops. It’s where the Loch Ness monster lives.

 

HARPERs eyes go wide.

 

HARPER

Can we see?

 

ARMIE

Maybe. Next time we come visit.

 

HARPER, content with the answer, goes back to playing with FORD on the floor.

 

ARMIE finally looks at TIMOTHEE

 

ARMIE

A lot of it _was_ down to not being in touch. I f- I _hate_ that but… not all of it.

 

TIMOTHEE

Go on…?

 

ARMIE rolls his eyes and sighs.

 

ARMIE

I’m pretty sure the texts I sent told the story well enough.

 

TIMOTHEE

I remember you were high? Thinking I had moved on project-wise? Was there more to it?

 

ARMIEs laugh is bitter.

 

ARMIE

Thinking you had moved on. Period.

 

TIMOTHEE

Oh.

 

ARMIE

Like I said, I’m not proud. But your pal posted that video of you and _Rob_ before I heard from you and it… it fucking gutted me. All I could think of was how you and I had been. In Crema. How easy it had been to fa- to be with you there and how it was now Rob getting that chance. Holed up in a fucking _tent_ together. Yeah. It was not a great time for me.

 

TIMOTHEE

You do know you had- have- nothing to worry about, right?

 

ARMIE

Well, I do _now._

 

TIMOTHEE

It’s, umm, it’s kinda funny you felt that way while I was in Scotland.

 

ARMIE

Why?

 

TIMOTHEE

Because Scotland was a fucking eye opener for me. It’s odd to think that you were worrying when that was the one time you really didn’t need to.

 

TIMOTHEE sits back into the sofa cushions, pulling his knees up to his chest.

 

TIMOTHEE

On the bus up there, you know when I said i was getting Rob to teach me how to play the song? Well, you were literally all I could think about. I was like a man fuc- (coughs) possessed. Then the anniversary and everything - that was kind of a godsend, because it gave me an excuse to be so tied up in it all. Made people less suspicious of me.

 

He sighs, dropping his gaze to watch the kids for a beat.

 

TIMOTHEE

But then coming back, hearing your messages and _knowing_ you were struggling? That is when I knew I was (mouths) _fucked_ if you either didn’t feel the same or if I had to hide it forever to be a decent friend to you. All I wanted to do was be with you.

 

ARMIE walks over to where TIMOTHEE still sits, his hand outstretched, taking TIMOTHEEs and pulling him to his feet and into a hug.

 

ARMIE

Scotland wasn’t when I _knew_. That happened a long time ago, but it was the first time I realised… I could lose you to someone else.

 

TIMOTHEE hugs him briefly before stepping back, pointedly looking towards HARPER and FORD.

 

TIMOTHEE

Well, you didn’t. Though, as much as I love the contact, maybe the physical appreciation can wait until later…

 

ARMIE

I know. But it’s hard to _not_ touch you, now that I can.

 

His smile is sheepish as he looks over TIMOTHEEs shoulder to where HARPER and FORD sit in the floor playing.

 

TIMOTHEE

I don’t want little mouths parroting to Mommy if that's okay with you.

 

He smiles softly before picking up one of the toys that the kids are playing with and joining them on the floor.

 

ARMIE

I get it. I don’t want that either. Well… maybe I do? A bit. She’s going to find out, but it shouldn’t come from the kids, you’re right.

 

TIMOTHEE

Definitely not. But, back to this whole jealousy thing. I don’t want to inadvertently annoy you or worry you or.. Anything like that. But you know how people _are_ around me. It’s weird as f… but you know it doesn’t mean anything right?

 

ARMIE

I mean, yeah. Technically, I do know that, but getting my brain to shut that shit down isn’t always easy. But, I do promise to try?

 

TIMOTHEE

S’all I can ask.

 

ARMIE

And, you know, you have the right now to tell me to calm the fuck down when I start acting like an asshat.

 

TIMOTHEE

I’ve always had that right. Also, watch your mouth.

 

ARMIE can’t help but laugh.

 

ARMIE

True, but now you _own_ the right. You have a stake in it other than trying to keep me on the straight and narrow.

 

TIMOTHEE

The possibilities sound endless…

 

ARMIE

Ha, you are going to use this against me, aren’t you?

 

TIMOTHEE smirks with a knowing look, his non-answer being answer in itself.

 

TIMOTHEE

Anything else you need to warn me about?

 

ARMIE

Where do I even start? You should seriously second-guess this whole thing.

 

TIMOTHEE giggles softly.

 

TIMOTHEE

Guys, whats Daddy’s worst habit do you think?

 

ARMIE

Dirty pool, Chalamet.

 

TIMOTHEE looks up with an innocent, angelic expression on his face.

 

TIMOTHEE

I don’t know what you’re talking about…

 

ARMIE laughs, shaking his head, before punching TIMOTHEE playfully in the shoulder

 

ARMIE

I’m onto you, that sh- stuff won’t cut it with me, so don’t even try. Besides, my kids think I’m perfect, so you won’t get anything out of them

 

HARPER sits patiently with her hand in the air. TIMOTHEE smiles and nods towards her.

 

TIMOTHEE

Someone is ready to answer me.

 

ARMIE rolls his eyes before turning to HARPER with a smile like she hung the moon, ready to prove TIMOTHEE wrong.

 

ARMIE

Yes, baby girl?

 

HARPER

He has a stinky poop.

 

ARMIE

_Harper Grace Hammer!_

 

TIMOTHEE bursts out laughing, putting his hand up for a high five which HARPER dutifully complies with. He looks back to ARMIE as he groans.

 

TIMOTHEE

Well, she ain’t wrong.

 

ARMIE, red to his ears, scrubs a hand over his face.

 

ARMIE

Jesus.

 

TIMOTHEE

Don’t worry dude, it ain’t a dealbreaker.

 

ARMIE

Is this how it’s going to be? Nothing is off limits? And _all_ of you ganging up on me?

 

TIMOTHEE looks between HARPER and FORD, nodding his head.

 

TIMOTHEE

Pretty much.

 

 

  



	39. Chapter 39

 

**July 12, 2018**

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - SITTING ROOM - LATE MORNING**

 

TIMOTHEE helps HARPER pack away her colouring books and toys into her flight bag. They chat aimlessly, FORD joining in with a monologue of his own that TIMOTHEE struggles to understand. He grins and giggles softly to himself.

Pulling a suitcase behind him, ARMIE enters the sitting room, full black tracksuit.

 

TIMOTHEE

Oh _jesus christ._

 

ARMIE stops in the middle of the room, brow pinched.

 

ARMIE

Shut the fuck up. You wish you could rock this shit half as hard.

TIMOTHEE

Nah, dude, I prefer rocking sh...t that _makes_ people half hard?

 

With a wry grin he covers FORDs ears before dropping a quick kiss to the top of his head. He turns his attention back to ARMIE.

 

TIMOTHEE

I won't tell you again, watch your mouth.

 

ARMIE rolls his eyes and pretends to zip his lips

 

ARMIE

Yes, sir.

 

ARMIE shakes his head as if what he’s just said registers and his face reddens. He clears his throat and looks down at what he’s wearing

 

ARMIE

What? This look doesn’t do it for you?

TIMOTHEE

Pleading the 5th.

I mean you look… _good_ but are we not _past_ this, tracksuit of sadness?

ARMIE

Maybe I’m giving it new life. No longer the ‘tracksuit of sadness’ but the tracksuit of ‘I’m about to take an eight hour flight, leaving my 20-something lover behind’... oh wait. Maybe it is perpetually going to be the tracksuit of sadness.

 

ARMIE smiles warmly, if a touch sad, setting his suitcase by the door before taking a steady breath and striking a pose. HARPER giggles.

 

ARMIE

You’re the one that brought it up. But I have to admit, you _do_ manage that pretty well.

 

He subtly adjusts himself, only half jokingly in the moment, as he slowly looks TIMOTHEE from head to toe before meeting his eyes with a heated stare.

TIMOTHEEs eyes flit between ARMIE and the kids, before landing back on ARMIE’s groin…. chest… eyes, his gaze intense.

 

TIMOTHEE

_Say that again_ …

ARMIE

Say what again?

TIMOTHEE

The tracksuit. What it represents now? Say it again, I wanna make sure I heard you correctly.

ARMIE

What?

 

ARMIE raises a brow, his mouth twisting into a sly smile.

 

ARMIE

The ‘leaving’ part or the ‘ _lover’_ part?

 

TIMOTHEEs eyes darken, his jaw clenched. The internal struggle to control himself is written all over his face. Desire mixed with overwhelming sadness. His hand runs through the curls at the nape of his neck.

 

TIMOTHEE

Hmm. _Yeah_ . _Umm_. Okay.

 

He gets up and walks past ARMIE, brushing his shoulder against him, motioning with a flick of his head towards the kitchen.

 

TIMOTHEE

So, Imma need to, umm, talk to you? A quick second.

 

ARMIEs eyes track him as he walks past, turning to watch him disappear around the corner in the kitchen. He makes certain the kids are entertained for a second before quickly following.

 

**INT - TIMOTHEE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - LATE MORNING**

 

TIMOTHEE paces back and forth in the kitchen, waiting for ARMIE. He turns abruptly as he enters.

 

ARMIE

What’s up?

 

TIMOTHEE doesn’t speak, instead launches himself towards ARMIE, backing him up, lips already meeting, his tongue licking forcefully into ARMIEs mouth. ARMIE goes willingly, his back thumping against the wall, arms wrapping tightly around TIMOTHEEs back.

TIMOTHEE makes a soft, desperate noise as he brings his entire body flush with ARMIEs, rolling his hips forward.

 

ARMIE

God, that’s what I was hoping you had to say.

 

He groans against TIMOTHEEs mouth, between biting, licking kisses. TIMOTHEEs whole demeanour has changed, he is soft, needy, _lust-ridden_ in ARMIEs grasp. His whispers ghost against ARMIEs lips on breathless exhales.

 

TIMOTHEE

Don't go, stay. Please stay. Say you’ll stay. _Please._

 

ARMIE moans in agony, his hands gripping TIMOTHEE even tighter as if he could hold them both there by sheer force of will. His breath is ragged, his voice pain-filled.

 

ARMIE

I don’t want to go.

TIMOTHEE

Then don’t.

 

TIMOTHEE grips the sides of ARMIEs tracksuit jacket, leaning backwards, his hips still flush against ARMIEs thigh. He tips his head back, swaying.

 

TIMOTHEE

Just-, just stay.

 

He pitches forward again, his lips zeroing in on ARMIEs neck, kissing his way gently up to the side of his mouth. His voice, when he speaks, a teasing whisper.

 

TIMOTHEE

I promise I’ll be _good_ if you just _stay_.

 

The back of ARMIEs head thumps against the wall as his hands reach to grip TIMOTHEEs hips, pulling him tighter against him. He knows TIMOTHEE can feel he’s just as hard as he is.

 

ARMIE

You’re killing me, Tim. _Jesus._

 

ARMIE ducks down, sealing their mouths together again, unable to stop the motion of his hips, grinding against TIMOTHEE with no thought to consequence.

 

ARMIE

_Fuck._

 

He finally wrenches his mouth away, breathless, his hands tightening to keep TIMOTHEE from moving. Stopping himself from moving as well. He barely manages a whisper.

 

ARMIE

We have to stop.

 

TIMOTHEE shakes his head defiantly, his curls falling into his eyes as he seeks out ARMIEs lips again. One hand lessens its hold on ARMIEs jacket and slips its way between their bodies. Just as he makes purchase with ARMIEs cock, ARMIE grips his wrist and pulls his hand away.

He holds it up against his chest, pressed between the two of them. He buries his face in TIMOTHEEs neck, struggling to catch his breath.

 

ARMIE

Do you know how much I _don’t_ want to stop you right now?

 

ARMIEs breath shudders, hot against TIMOTHEEs throat.

 

ARMIE

The first time… I don’t want a quick handjob with the idea my kids can walk in at any second. I want… _Fuck,_ I want to take my time with you.

TIMOTHEEs eyes slip closed and he sways once again away from ARMIE. After a beat, his hands loosen completely and he pirouettes away away from him.

 

He leans back against the refrigerator, his eyes still closed, his breathing shallow, face flushed. He chews the inside of his lips slowly nodding his head.

 

TIMOTHEE

No, no, you’re right. I know. I’m sorry.

He takes a couple of deep breaths.

TIMOTHEE

_Fuck._

 

ARMIE scrubs a trembling hand over his face as he begins to laugh, low and soft.

 

ARMIE

My _god._ I haven’t been this fucking turned on since-

 

ARMIE pauses, staring at TIMOTHEE where he stands, eyes closed, looking as completely wrecked as ARMIE feels. He shakes his head.

TIMOTHEEs eyes flutter open, a question mark on his face.

 

TIMOTHEE

Since...?

 

ARMIE looks down at his feet, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor.

 

ARMIE

Since that night in your apartment.

 

He tilts his head just enough to look at TIMOTHEE out of the corner of his eye

 

ARMIE

When I pinned you to the sofa.

 

TIMOTHEE laughs, one hand going straight to his groin as he pushes himself away, towards the entry way of the kitchen.

 

TIMOTHEE

Okay. Yep. You need to leave. You need to get out of here, now.

 

ARMIE reaches out, grabbing TIMOTHEEs wrist as he passes by, pulling him in close, pressing his mouth against his once more as his other hand caresses the hard line of his cock through the fabric of TIMOTHEEs sweatpants before gently pushing him away again.

 

ARMIE

_Now_ I have to leave.

 

TIMOTHEE groans and shoves ARMIE towards the sitting room, crowding into the back of him until they are in view of HARPER and FORD.

 

TIMOTHEE

Get the fuck out of here.

 

His hands drop to cover his crotch as he makes his excuses and goes to the bedroom.

 

ARMIE

_Language,_ Chalamet!

 

**_________________**

**Armie Hammer✓** liked a tweet from **Timothée Chalamet✓**

**@RealChalamet:** But I'ma be on time when my stars align…

**@armiehammer:** Jamie Woon - Sharpness

**_________________**

 

 

**< 13.02gmt>**

At the gate. Kids are sad you

couldn’t come with us.

**< 13.02gmt>**

They’re not the only ones.

*sad emoji*

**< 13.05gmt>**

_Miss them too. Have a safe flight_ _  
_ _and text me when you land?_

 

**< <<13.07gmt>>>**

_Meanwhile, guess I have to deal_

_with this all on my own?_

_*Photo*_

**< <<13.13gmt>>>**

I would say warn a person, but that  

is the best fucking surprise ever.

**< <<13.13gmt>>>**

Did you? Deal with it? Because I am

struggling here with my own.

 

**< 13.16gmt>**

Will do, and don’t work too hard.

*wink emoji*

**< <<13.18gmt>>>**

_Embarrassingly fast. Embarrassingly messy._

**< <<13.20gmt>>>**

That I don’t get to see?

**< <<13.20gmt>>>**

_*Photo*_

_Gotta keep some secrets._

**< <<13.21gmt>>>**

Fucking gorgeous tease

**< <<13.25gmt>>>**

_I’m only just beginning…_

**< <<13.26gmt>>>**

Nice to know I will die one very happy man.

**< <<13.26gmt>>>**

I hope to return the favor.

  
**< 13.59gmt>**

_Heading to studio now._

_You guys should be boarding so speak to you_

_on the other side. Thinking of you all_

_*plane emoji*_

_Tell Ford I am going to eat all_

_those jellies he left!_

 

 

____________

**itsmeben** shared a **post:** “I'll have some of what he's having. #milewidesmile #6000watt” 35m

____________

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <<< time>>> indicates our boys new fave phones
> 
> Jamie Woon - [Sharpness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J0CjQjjy24)
> 
> **TIM PHOTO #1:** Torso mirror selfie, shirtless, grey bottoms, hand gripping erection through the fabric.
> 
> **TIM PHOTO #2:** Collarbone shot, skin glistening with sweat.
> 
> **ITSMEBEN PHOTO:** TIMOTHEE sitting on the arm of a sofa, phone in one hand, throwing a peace sign with the other, exaggerated beaming smile.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys.  
> This chapter in particular is a SERIOUS dose of FICTION. It is not intended to suggest anything untoward in real life, we simply wanted (needed) a storyline that would tie the boys into some kind of pseudo co-parenting situation. This was the best way we knew how.  
> Reminder, we do not know AH, his family, how he interacts with his children, his thoughts or feelings on his upbringing or any of the rest of it. Nor do we know TC. This is all made up for the sake of storytelling. 
> 
> If you thought you might need to grab some tissues the way the call starts, don't worry - you might still need em by the end.

**July 13, 2018**

**< Incoming call from Armz>**

**< 00.16gmt>**

 

<TC> Armie

 

<AH> Hey, stranger. How are you?

 

<TC> (whispers) ‘m lonely.

 

<AH> (hums softly in empathy) Ah, babe. You’re not the only one.

 

<TC> Mmm hmm (pause, voice brightens slightly) “Babe”... I like that. Glad you got home without any drama, Liz already collected the kids?

 

<AH> (soft laugh) I didn’t… it just sort of popped out. Glad you approve, then. (clears his throat) Yeah, she was waiting when we got in and bad as it sounds, and as lonely as it leaves this place without them here, I don’t think I’ve been that glad to see her in a while.

 

<TC> Glad? Oh. Um. Right. (soft, mirthless laugh) Okay.

 

<AH> Hey, no. Wait. You didn’t think-  Not glad to _see_ her, but glad she was here to take the kids. Ford cried the whole way home. For you, actually. I was one very unpopular person on that flight.

 

<TC> (touched) For me? Ah, dude…. I’m sorry. And yeah, for a second I did think…- anyway, good, I am happy to be wrong. For once.

 

<AH> That’s never gonna be the case, where she’s concerned. You gotta know that, right? Not now that you and me are... And, you hung the moon as far as the kids go. Ford especially. Gonna start calling you Pied Piper or some shit.

 

<TC> It is all this youthful charm and charisma I have.

 

<AH> (low and lascivious)  Is _that_ what you call it? I’d say it was that, yeah. Among other things.

 

<TC> (flirtatious tone) Other… things…?

 

<AH> Coy doesn’t suit you, T. (laughs) You know. I haven’t stopped looking at those pics since you sent them.

 

<TC> Oh God. It wasn’t-, they weren’t _too much_ , right? I know we talked about this, but…

 

<AH> No holding back, that was the agreement, right? And because we _did_ talk about this is the reason I am telling you _now,_ those pics  weren’t _enough._ You realise, I couldn’t even take a _break_ for the bathroom long enough to ummm… take care of things. But it didn’t stop me from looking at them. I squirmed in my seat for _eight hours_ , miserably, aching _hard_ the whole way. I think the ‘tracksuit of sadness’ can now be renamed the ‘tracksuit of wanting to fuck you through the mattress’. Those pics, Tim... they made me want _more._

 

<TC> (groans softly, clears his throat) Good. That was my goal. Full disclosure, I am going to struggle like hell with this self-imposed ban. There’s a good chance I might end up swimming that ocean.

 

<AH> (laughs) No one is making you stick to it, you know? (lowers his voice seductively) I know you’re a good boy, you don’t have to prove it to me.

 

<TC> (voice deepens) I am far, far, from _good_ , Armie. On the plus side, when I eventually get you all to myself? (smirk evident in his voice) You’ll see I am already _well versed_ in chanting your name.

 

<AH> Will I? _God_ , T, just the thought of that makes me so hard I can’t fucking see straight.

 

<TC> Not a problem, I’ll have you blindfolded anyway. (soft giggle)

 

<AH> (quiet moan) Blindfold? I think we are going to have a whole separate discussion if that’s on the table

 

<TC> (laughs) ‘ _Babe’_ , this is not the time or place for this conversation.

 

<AH> What’s the matter, afraid you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?

 

<TC> Is that your way of enquiring just how much I can fit in my mouth?

 

<AH> (low laugh) Well it is now

 

<TC> It’s hard to know, if only I had some photographic evidence with which to base a response…

 

<AH> What? There wasn’t much left to the imagination during filming. Those fucking shorts showed no mercy, especially when wet. Can’t imagine it escaped your notice (laughs) Maybe some things should remain a mystery at the moment, though, if that’s the case. You know, since you think we should _wait._ (clears throat in a very pointed manner)

 

<TC> Oh! Pulling out the short shorts card, huh? I see you play fair, Mr Hammer. Okay, well, I guess I can just send my pictures to someone who _does_ want them, then.

 

<AH> Oh, I’m sure there are plenty who want them, but that is _not_ going to happen. That is now my privilege. For _my_ eyes only.  

 

<TC> Depends, I mean, if the price is right…

 

<AH>(laughing) You are such a little shit and such a fucking tease. (sighing) God, I really miss you.  

 

<TC> The way you mix sex and sentiment is going to end my motherfuckin’ days, I swear to God. Knowing you’re there alone now is just… giving me kitchen envy.

 

<AH> Mmm. God, T. I don’t know how I managed to walk away from you there. Having your hands on me. _Fuck_ . Why are you not here? I really want you to be _here_.

Who did I piss off in a former life?

 

<TC> I’m not sure it was in a former life. Did you not just say you handed a screaming child to your… Ex… a little earlier? That would do it.

 

<AH> (groans) Proof I am the literal worst.

 

<TC> Well, now tonight all three of us can cry it out.

 

<AH> No, please. I’ve had enough crying to last me a while.

 

<TC> Actually, if I was there, Ford wouldn’t be crying so I guess we would be okay.

 

<AH> This is true. Work a little of your Timmy Tim magic on him and we’d have no problems.

 

<TC> Ah, he just-, I think he just enjoys the attention, that’s all.

 

<AH> “Enjoys the attention”. What do you mean?

 

<TC> I dunno. Like I feel he misses out a little? Sometimes? I mean-, fuck, not that I am saying you don’t-, or that-, okay, no, I am severely overstepping here. Sorry, sorry, ignore that, seriously.

 

<AH> Wait. Hold up. What is he missing out _on_? No. What exactly are you saying here?

 

<TC> Nothing, honestly. Back seat parent, what do I know. I don’t-, I don’t wanna argue with you. This isn’t my place, I’m sorry. Can we go back to talking about your dick, please?

 

<AH> My dick? Are you _serious?_ You can’t make this a joke after saying something like that. (sighs, clink of ice in a glass as he takes a drink of the whiskey he is nursing) Shit. Okay. I’m not arguing… listen, I- I don’t want you to feel like you can’t say something to me? I’m genuinely- I’d like to know exactly what it is you are trying to say here. You-, I mean. You are part of their lives, you should be able to say what you think.

 

<TC> ...You promise you won’t get mad at me? And I wasn’t making a joke, I am desperate to go back to discussing your dick right now, I’m being serious.

 

<AH> Jesus, I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed for the moment. (quiet) _Fuck._ (deep breath) Just… I promise to _try_ not to get mad.

 

<TC> Okaaay. Well, first I want to say that as it relates to being a father, you are-, I take pride in how fucking _good_ you are. You have to know that, before anything. I am not trying to-, to-, to somehow _criticise_ you or something. _That_ definitely is out of scope for me. But, that said, I just can’t help feeling like-, I just keep replaying something you said to me the other night about Ford and… maybe it is my own issues-, no, it is _completely_ my own issues…I can’t quite let it go.

 

<AH> Okay, so thank you? I like to think I’m a good father, I guess? (trepidatious) So, what _did_ I say that’s made you… I don’t know. What is the problem here, exactly?

 

<TC> No, _fuck_ , it’s not a problem. It is just… okay, so remember when we were talking about NOLA and you were telling me that story about the house, the first one you went to? Imagining you living in it in another life, talking about the wrap around porch and how, when Harper is old enough, you’d be able to see the guys coming down the street before they saw you? And I asked you what about Ford and you said to me “Ah, he won’t need me by then”?

 

<AH> (obvious confusion in his voice) Yeah. I remember that, but I don’t-  I’m still not getting what you are trying to say

 

<TC> (sigh) No, course you don’t. I guess this is where my own issues come into play and maybe I am-, _projecting_ but... I’m concerned that sometimes you… with Ford, you-, you don’t _see_ him, Armie. You-

 

<AH> Hey! Wait, hold up just a second. I don’t _see him?_ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

 

<TC> (softly) You promised me you wouldn’t get angry….

 

<AH> Yeah, well, that was before I knew you were going to fucking call me out as a bad parent? The fuck, T?

 

<TC> (groans) Armie, I am _not_ , I literally _just said_ you were a fucking awesome father...

 

<AH> That doesn’t see his own kid? Come on.

 

<TC> Right, no, fine, let’s just say I am wrong. It doesn’t matter…

 

<AH> Nice. Now I’m just supposed to what? Forget you said that? How? I’m going to be fucking paranoid anytime you’re around when I have them. Like I’m gonna fuck it up and you’ll- _fuck._

 

<TC> And I’ll _what_ ? This has nothing to do with me, it’s your own business- yours and Liz’s - I _knew_ I shouldn’t have said anything.

 

<AH> (a long, protracted silence)

 

<TC> Do you-, shall I go?

 

<AH> (quiet) No. (sighs) This _is_ your business. For all that we haven’t said and _arranged_ , you are part of my kids’ life. An _important_ part. And hopefully, for a long time to come. I want to know what you think. I do. I just… I don’t think I understand exactly what it is you are trying to tell me. What- what is it that I’m doing wrong?

 

<TC> Not _wrong_ , Armie. Not wrong. You are so fucking loving and caring and amazing with your-, with both Harper and Ford. I am not trying to suggest otherwise, I would never try to suggest otherwise. I don’t-, I don’t want you thinking that I am judging you in any way. If anything I am just trying to help you, to… give you another perspective. And you can tell me to go fuck myself and that’s okay, but I feel I would be doing myself- and Ford- a disservice if I didn’t at least speak my mind a little.

 

<AH> But you _are_ saying I could do better by Ford, right? Like I’m somehow failing him some way. Maybe… maybe once you’re around- now that you are going to be _more_ of a fixture in their lives, you’ll see how it is. There’s a difference when it comes to raising a boy versus raising a girl.

 

<TC> Is there? He… He isn’t _you_ , Armie.

 

<AH> What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

 

<TC> Exactly what I said… You know, he’s older now and he sees more and he’s engaged with everyone around him and yet for the past couple of days he gravitated towards me and I really didn’t understand why. Every reason I came up with made me think that it should have been _you_ he was clinging to. So I watched you with him and it just made me realize that…(pause, deep sigh) On a practical level, you are faultless Armie, genuinely. I mean that. He knows you’re always there for him if he needs help, if he needs something. But…. what about when he doesn’t? I think-, I think that’s what he seeks. Someone who will give him time and attention when he doesn’t ask for it.

 

<AH> And you think. (pause through several deep breaths) You think I don’t do that?

 

<TC> Well… I mean… Do you think you do?

 

<AH> I think it’s more important he learns how to manage on his own. It won’t do him any good to be spoiled and think everything will just be handed to him.

 

<TC> (sighs) He’s a baby, Armie… and what about Hops, huh? It’s okay for her to get everything handed to her without question?

 

<AH> (voice hard) I don’t play favorites with my kids, Timmy. Boys and girls… it’s just _different._ They have different needs. I know you don’t understand that, but _trust me_ , they fucking do.

 

<TC> I don’t under-, remind me again just how many sisters it is you have?

 

<AH> Just what point are you trying to make here? Having a sister or not doesn’t mean I don’t _know_ what I’m doing.

 

<TC> My point is how the fuck can you tell me _I_ don’t understand what it is like for boys and girls to have different needs - _me_ , the one with a legitimate fucking _sister_ \- and yet you somehow know _all_ the nuances? (pause, long exhale) Sorry, look...I know what it is like to grow up fucking lonely, Armie. To grow up and have to be a man now, just because you’re a boy. You know exactly what I'm talking about and you know exactly why I would feel this way. I don’t want that for him - it's fucking bullshit. Maybe it worked for you and maybe you were independent enough, but what if he isn't? What if, like me, _he_ wants to be the one you cuddle for no reason, or the one you protect from girls coming to break _his_ heart, or someone to just be _emotionally_ fucking _available_ to him. You do it for Hops without a second thought and yet, already, you view and discuss a future where he doesn’t need you. Like you already expect he will be gone, off living his own life. Just like his dad... in some weird self-fulfilling prophecy or something.  

 

<AH> (whispered) _Just like his dad_.

 

<AH> …

 

<AH> (voice choked) Yeah. Umm. You know what? I don’t think… I’m not sure I can talk about this anymore. I’m- I really think I need to go before… before I say something I can’t take back.

 

<TC> (resigned) _Armie…._ Don’t- don’t do this, please?

 

<AH> I’ll call you later. I can’t- I can’t do this right now, T. You don’t _want_ me to do this right now.

 

<TC> Okay. Okay. I- _fuck._ I’m sorry.

 

<AH> No, you’re not. Don’t fucking _apologise_. (heavy sigh, voice bitter) You were just being honest, right?

 

<TC> (sigh) Right. Ring me back later?

 

<AH> Sure.

 

<TC> I-

 

**Call has been disconnected.**

  
  


__________________

 

**< 8:58PM> <1 Voicemail: Timmy>**

 

_Dude… I got to go to sleep. I know you said you would call but… [deep breath] Again, I'm sorry if I overstepped and I really hope you don't think-....[pause] You_ know _how I feel about you, as a man, as a father. I am not saying this to hurt you. I just-, I know I'm projecting so fucking hard right now so keep that in mind, but also... I see a pattern and it scares me. I don’t want you to miss out on him growing up, missing out on a true bond with him, because you’re worried that-, that it will somehow manifest into a pressure of sorts, a pressure that he will feel beholden to. He isn’t you and you are not your father. You don’t need to give him distance to give him a sense of freedom. And you don’t  need to withhold affection to build strength. He won’t need it the way you did and I know for a fact you’ll never put him in the position you were in. I don’t want you looking back on these years and regretting anything. And maybe I 've misread and I'm wrong about all of this… but in case I'm not… I love you all, man, you’re my family. I only want you to be happy._

 

__________________


	41. Chapter 41

**July 14, 2018**

 

**< 4.41gmt> <1 Voicemail: Armz>**

[Call connects, there is a long silence, nothing but empty line static before the rustle of fabric and a deep heavy breath. When Armie finally speaks his voice is soft and tentative] Hey, umm… I know I said I would call back but, um. I just had to- I  _ needed _ some time to, well, to sort through everything that happened. Everything you said. I know you are asleep right now, but, I’d really like to… talk about this. So, maybe you could call me tomorrow? I’m not certain of your schedule, but I’m free till showtime. So, 

Yeah. Umm, give me a call.

 

_________________

 

**< 11.58gmt** >

_ I know it's early but… you free? _

**< Incoming call from Armz>**

**< 12.06gmt>**

 

<TC> [soft] Armie, hey, good morning.

<AH> Hey, Tim. How’s it going?

<TC> [smiling] Oh, we’re back to ‘Tim’ now, huh?

<AH> Well, we-,  _ I  _ didn’t handle things too well yesterday, so didn’t want to assume, you know?

<TC> _ Armie _ , you really think-, I mean, nothing is going to  _ change _ for me because we have an argument. Has-, does it for you?

<AH> No. It didn’t, not for me, but-,  you and I have never really had that type of… discussion before. So, I guess it just threw me.

<TC> Yeah, dude, I-,  I  _ am _ still, genuinely, sorry for saying what I did and pushing you like that. I don’t regret  _ what _ I said but it maybe could have been a conversation for another time.

<AH> [pauses] It was-, I just didn’t expect it. Especially  _ now,  _ so soon, you know? Not from you. And it’s not that I don’t expect you to ever… I don’t know, speak your mind or  object or question something about me or what I’m doing? That’s not the kind of-,  _ relationship _ I want with you. But that it-, it seemed to come out of nowhere and I didn’t… understand? Or,  _ get _ what you were trying to tell me. 

<TC> I didn’t mean to-, for it to come out the way it did though. I, uhh, I guess I was a little preachy or something...  I think maybe there was a part of me that thought it, uhh, wouldn’t be the first time you’d heard it? I guess I kinda assumed that-, well that it might have come up before. That other people who are close to you might have…-

<AH> No. They haven’t. They wouldn’t because I’m pretty sure most of them see it the same as I do, and that is probably not a good thing, and definitely not in the best interests of my kids. But-,  I’m not gonna lie and say it wasn’t hard to hear. I’ve never  _ doubted _ my ability as a parent. I never imagined the idea of questioning it would come from you-

<TC> No-one is doubting your ability as a parent, here, Armie...

<AH> That may not be what you meant, but it’s how it came across. You told me I don’t ‘see’ my kid. I don’t know how else I’m supposed to take that.

<TC> I just thought-, look, I shouldn’t have said anything.

<AH> [groan] Yeah, and I should just let it go...

<TC> As I said, it is probably a lot of my own issues. Sorry.

<AH> I know your issues, you know I do, but I never thought I mirrored them… I don’t know, man. It felt as if it all came out of left field from you. Knowing you were questioning my ability, or whatever you want to call it,  when I thought we had been having the  _ best  _ time we’ve ever spent together. It puts a dark cloud over those days now. Makes me question how any of it is real, or what to believe. [heavy sigh] Then, I went over it again, all you said, and I stepped back and was like, wait, I  _ am _ always there for Ford. For Harper. Whatever they need, they have. I just don’t want to spoil them, or have them take it all for granted. I want Ford to understand the value and reward of hard work. I want Harper to know she can be and do anything she wants. It’s like a tightrope sometimes. [Sigh] I believe your comments were borne out of love. For my kids. For  _ our  _ family. That was never in doubt, I’m just not sure what it says about the rest of our relationship if you can so easily hide what you are really feeling.

<TC> Wow, Armie, I-... I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you’d think-, man.  _ Fuck.  _ We-, I, had the best fucking time with you. The fucking best.  I feel sick to think that I’ve- [pauses] Look, from what you have said I still don’t even know if you heard my comment for what it meant. It had nothing to do with spoiling them, or understanding the value of anything and I don’t want to keep talking about this because clearly I overstepped a line and… I’m trying to reverse here so fucking hard.

<AH> [defeated] Maybe I’m  _ not _ understanding what you meant. I’m just not certain how I’m supposed to take it when you put out there that I’m not emotionally available to my son. Or exactly…  _ how  _ I’m supposed to go about changing how I am.

<TC> Forget I said anything. You’re fine. He’s fine.

<AH> But  _ we’re _ not fine.

<TC> No. I guess we aren’t.

<AH> _ Fuck _ , Timmy. I don’t- I don’t want this to be a  _ thing _ . Let me… jesus, I don’t know. Let me sit with this awhile. Can we… can we maybe just, fuck, I don’t know? Table this for a while. We could talk about it, all of it, when we see each other next? Or maybe [groans] I don’t want this to ruin everything.  _ Shit _

<TC> Sure. Look, you have to know what I said, it… it was from a place of... _ love _ Iwasn’t trying to criticise you or anything like that and… okay, my delivery wasn’t great, I should have said it in person so we could have talked about it properly, but…  _ this. This _ is our lives, we don’t always get the luxury of face to face and I don’t want… I can’t be told on one side of things we are family and then the other feel like… I am on eggshells. I can’t work like that.

<AH> I don’t want you to feel like that. I’m not trying to make you feel like that. It took me by surprise, okay? The time we spent with you in London was so perfect, I just didn’t expect to hear that after everything had gone so well. Now  _ I’m _ just making it all worse. I don’t know how to stop this fucking train now.

<TC> As you said, let’s just table it. I have to get back anyway so…

<AH> Yeah, okay. Guess I should let you get to it then.

<TC> Enjoy the show later and I will text you when I am done, or something. Yeah?

<AH> Um, thanks. Hope filming goes smoothly for you, too. And, um, yeah, text or whatever. Would be good.

<TC> K, talk to you later.

< **call has disconnected >**

 

___________________

  
  


< **19.23gmt** >

_ Fuck horses anyway. _

 

< **19.23gmt** >

_ (Not literally. Illegal.)  _

 

**< 2:49PM>**

WTF? 

*laughing emoji*

 

**< 2:49PM>**

Illegal or not, I think I could probably 

hold my own. 

*wink emoji*

 

< **19.52gmt** >

_ Holding your own is safer. _

_ *eggplant emoji* _

 

**< 3:03PM>**

Toufuckingché

 

**< 3:04PM>**

But tell me you didn’t get thrown or anything, right? 

 

< **20.11gmt** >

_ Right. Thrown would imply the stupid thing _

_ was moving in the first place. _

 

**< 3:13PM>**

I’m not meant to be laughing, am I?

 

< **20.24gmt** >

_ Prefer it to any other alternative. _

 

**< 3:32PM>**

Me, too

 

**< 3:32PM>**

Truce?

 

< **20.35gmt** >

_ *gif* _

_ That's my line. _

 

**< 3:37PM>**

Figured you wouldn’t mind me borrowing it,

seeing as I’m being just as much an ass now 

as I was then to warrant the offer.

 

< **20.41gmt** >

_ Actually, pretty sure I was being _

_ the ass back then but…  _

 

< **20.41gmt** >

_ Pick your battles, Timmy,  _

_ pick your battles. _

 

**< 3:46PM>**

I don’t want this to be a battle. I don’t 

want to argue with you. Ever. I’m fucking 

miserable over this entire situation.

 

**< 3:46PM>**

Can we move on? I want us to be okay.

 

< **20.48gmt** >

_ I want that more than anything. _

 

< **20.48gmt** >

_ But I understand why you’re pissed at me _

 

< **20.49gmt** >

_ I should learn to stay in my lane. _

 

< **20.49gmt** >

_ Promise I’ll try? _

 

**< 3:57PM>**

I’m not pissed. I wasn’t pissed to begin 

with. Not really. Only hurt and confused. 

 

**< 3:57PM>**

I’ll work on it. I need to work on it. You 

were right. I don’t want

 

**< 3:58PM>**

I don’t want you to stay in your lane. 

I don’t want to make you feel like you 

can’t speak to me about things.

 

**< 3:59PM>**

Or feel as if you have to tiptoe around 

shit and be afraid to say the important things

 

**< 3:59PM>**

The hard things. I’ve been in that kind of

relationship and that is not what 

I want for us. 

 

**< 3:59PM>**

~~ If us is still a something you think is worth ~~

~~ all this hassle? ~~

 

**< 4:00PM>**

I promise to try too. 

 

**< 4:00PM>**

And, I’m really sorry and hope you can 

and will forgive me at some point

 

< **21.12gmt** >

_ Nothing to forgive. x  _

 

_ _______________________ _

  
  


**< <<4:43PM>>>**

Can I ask you something?

  
  


**_< <<_ ** **22.01gmt >>>**

_...of course?  _

 

**< <<5:11PM>>>**

Ever heard of makeup sex?

  
  


_ _______________________ _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's gif: _Tregua_


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woah, when we hacked in we totally thought we would get more angst but... seems our boys have made up a little <3  
> We wish we could share the pictures with you all but... that's against the rules. SORRY! ;)
> 
> (for any newcomers - WELCOME! and... this is fiction.)

 

**July 15, 2018**

  
  


**< <<11.14gmt>>>**

_ Sorry man, not sure how I managed to fall  _

_ asleep after that message but ummm… _

 

**< <<11.14gmt>>>**

_ Guess I wore myself out ;) _

 

**< <<11.15gmt>>>**

_ So, make up sex you say?  _

_ Umm, no? Never heard of it? _

 

**< <<11.15gmt>>>**

_ What is that?  _

_ Please, do elaborate. _

 

**< <<7:02AM>>>**

Good morning to you too

 

** <<<7:02AM>>>**

Well, I’m not sure, but I think

it’s a trick grown ups use, where we 

_ redirect _ our misunderstandings into

more  _ pleasurable _ outcomes.

 

**< <<12.04gmt>>>**

_ Oh, really?  _ Pleasurable _ , huh? _

 

**< <<7:05AM>>>**

Yup yup.

 

**< <<12.06gmt>>>**

_ So, for example, if I gave an opinion and you didn’t like it,  _

_ were mad, hung up on me and didn’t call me for hours,  _

_ which in turn made me kinda sad… _

 

**< <<12.06gmt>>>**

_ our duelling emotions could just be flipped _

_ into something more… beneficial?  _

 

**< <<12.07gmt>>>**

_ Am I understanding that right? _

 

**< <<7:10AM>>>**

Well, in my head, I didn’t sound like 

such an asshole… 

 

**< <<12.12gmt>>>**

_ Oh,  _ sorry _ , I assumed the more riled up you’d _

_ be the more… _ intense _ the  _ experience _. Forgive me,  _

_ I’m still learning… _

  
**< <<7:13AM>>>**

Why do I doubt the sincerity in that statement? 

But, yeah, that’s the gist

 

**< <<7:13AM>>>**

So, you’re looking for an  _ intense experience _ , hm?

 

**< <<12.16gmt>>>**

_ Mmmhmm, yeah. I think I’d like that.  _

 

**< <<12.17gmt>>>**

_ Though, it’s a shame you’re not here.  _

_ I feel like, umm, for my own safety or  _

_ something... _

 

**< <<12.17gmt>>>**

_ if it is going to be super intense… _

 

**< <<12.17gmt>>>**

_ I should be like, umm,  _ restrained  _ or… _

 

**< <<7:18AM>>>**

_ Fuck _ , Tim… restrained? I think that can also 

go under the header of future discussions

 

**< <<12.19gmt>>>**

_ Hehe look at me  _

 

**< <<12.20gmt>>>**

_ Using sex to make you forget you were mad at me _

_ or what we were arguing about in the first place.  _

 

**< <<12.20gmt>>>**

_ It’s my default tactic... _

 

**< <<7:21AM>>>**

Be fucking lying if I said it didn’t work…

especially when I keep looking at those 

pics you sent. How could I ever stay mad at that?

 

**< <<12.21gmt>>>**

_ I’m really riding on the hope that you can’t.  _

 

**< <<12.22gmt>>>**

_ And you'll get so worked up you’ll drop everything _

 

**< <<12.22gmt>>>**

_ Fly to London on the spur of the moment... _

 

**< <<7:25AM>>>**

I would be on a plane right now if I could. 

 

**< <<7:26AM>>>**

But, I’m not sure being there in person would 

be any better, or cure this case of perpetual 

blue balls since someone’s decided we are 

on sex hiatus.

 

**< <<7:26AM>>>**

Indefinitely

 

**< <<12.30gmt>>>**

_ *eggplant emoji* *peach emoji* *eggplant emoji* _

_ *peach emoji* *eggplant emoji* _

  
  


**< <<12.30gmt>>>**

_ Is it getting to you already? _

 

**< <<12.30gmt>>>**

_ Cos I haven’t even started to  _

_ make it difficult for you yet. _

 

**< <<7:31AM>>>**

How did I not know you were such a fucking cock tease?

 

**< <<7:31AM>>>**

Oh, no, wait. I did. *wink emoji*

 

**< <<7:33AM>>>**

But seriously. It’s a fucking ridiculous pact, T. 

Why you wanna do us this way? 

 

**< <<12.35gmt>>>**

_ The amount of teasing is in direct proportion  _

_ to the size of the cock I'm working with... _

 

**< <<12.35gmt>>>**

_ Anyway, I have morals. Somewhere.  _

 

**< <<12.35gmt>>>**

_ Can’t remember right now where  _

_ I put them, but I do still have them.  _

 

**< <<7:37AM>>>**

I should probably be thanking you for those, 

but just can’t find it in me to. 

 

**< <<7:37AM>>>**

Especially not when I’m walking around 

with a constant semi at just the thought of you.

 

**< <<12.40gmt>>>**

_ Only a semi? Clearly I am not sending  _

_ the right pictures....  _

 

**< <<12.40gmt>>>**

_ Speaking of, my phone has  _

_ been noticeably silent...? _

 

**< <<7:45AM>>>**

Oh? I thought it might be in poor taste to sext 

_ during _ a disagreement. 

 

**< <<7:45AM>>>**

Speaking of… sexting  _ isn’t  _ part of this

brilliant ‘ban’ of yours??

 

**< <<12.46gmt>>>**

_ I mean, you can’t  _ touch _ a picture, right? So… umm… _

 

**< <<12.46gmt>>>**

_ is it really any different to how I spend _

_ most nights with your pics anyway? _

 

**< <<7:46AM>>>**

Fucking hell…

  
  


**< <<12.47gmt>>>**

_ And like… sexting you is just going to be _

_ a running commentary of what’s happening _

_ regardless… _

 

**< <<7:47AM>>>**

Do you know how insane you are making me right now?

 

**< <<7:47AM>>>**

Okay, so let me get this straight, cause at this 

moment it’s hard to think with all my blood rushing south…

 

**< <<7:48AM>>>**

Touching is the line we can’t cross? 

That’s the only stipulation to this whole deal?

 

**< <<12.48gmt>>>**

_ Right... _

 

**< <<7:48AM>>>**

So, say,  _ when _ we find a chance to see each 

other again, we won’t be breaking any ‘rules’ of yours 

if I were to, I don’t know

 

**< <<7:49AM>>>**

Tell you to take your 

clothes off and watch you get yourself off?

 

**< <<12.50gmt>>>**

_ Exactly. No rule breaking there. Nope. _

 

**< <<7:50AM>>>**

_ Gooooood _ to know.

 

**< <<12.50gmt>>>**

_ Though I like how you assume you’ll be the one _

_ giving the orders *eye roll emoji* _

 

**< <<7:50AM>>>**

Fuuuuuuck me. Why is that thought 

doing it so hard for me?

 

**< <<7:51AM>>>**

Who am I?

 

**< <<12.55gmt>>>**

_ *wink emoji* _

 

**< <<12.55gmt>>>**

_ So since its not part of the ban, _

_ my phone should already be beepin’, _

_ full of hot new material _

 

**< <<12.56gmt>>>**

_ Plus I am about to jump in the shower  _

_ before I’ve to head out so…  _

 

**< <<12.56gmt>>>**

_ might be a good a time as any. _

 

**< <<7:57AM>>>**

Wow, bossy mister. Yup. This is a kink 

I never knew I needed in my life.

*tongue emoji*

 

**< <<7:57AM>>>**

Hang on… 

 

**< <<07.59AM>>>**

***Photo***

 

**< <<8:00AM>>>**

Enjoy that shower, baby

 

**< <<13.01gmt>>>**

_ FUCK ME _ .

 

**< <<13.02gmt>>>**

_ Def will now… Holy shit. _

 

**< <<13.02gmt>>>**

_ Call you later? _

 

**< <<8:02AM>>>**

You better.

 

**< <<8:03AM>>>**

Have a really good day.

 

**< <<13.04gmt>>>**

_ *kiss emoji* _

_ Be good. _

 

**< <<8:04AM>>>**

Not a chance. 

 

**< <<13.05gmt>>>**

_ Well, then don’t get caught.  _

 

**< <<8:07AM>>>**

Been there done that. Some people have 

the t-shirt. Go. Catch you later.

 

**< <<13.10gmt>>>**

_ Later. xxxxxxx _

  
  
  


___________________________

  
  


**< <<13.31gmt>>>**

_ * **Photo*** _

  
  


**< <<8:40AM>>>**

You are a fucking work of art.

 

**< <<8:40AM>>>**

I really need you to take that towel off.

Right fucking now.

 

**< <<13.42gmt>>>**

**_*Photo*_ **

 

**< <<8:42AM>>>**

I love a transatlantic strip tease.

 

**< <<8:43AM>>>**

Tease being the operative word there. 

  
  


**< <<13.45gmt>>>**

_ Of all my transatlantic lovers,  _

_ I think you’re my favorite _

  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armie photo: Lying in bed, bare chest and abdomen, white sheet draped across his lap, the head of his cock peeking from beneath the hem
> 
> Timmy photo #1: Photo taken in mirror, sat on edge of bed, towel around waist, hair wet, head bowed, water dripping onto chest. Legs splayed slightly, teasing glimpse of upper thighs.
> 
> Timmy photo #2: Standing in front of mirror, towel loosened and held only in place by a hand at his groin.


	43. Chapter 43

  
  


__________________

 

**itsmeben** shared a  **post** : “does this count as treason?” 14m

 

__________________

 

**July 15, 2018**

  
  


**< 19.41gmt>**

_ No more horse drama but… _

 

**< 19.41gmt>**

**_*_ ** _ Photo _ **_*_ **

 

**< 19.42gmt>**

_ Look what RP did to my hand!! *crying emoji* _

 

**< 2:58PM>**

Ouch. The fuck happened?

 

**< 2:58PM>**

What part of ‘acting’ does he not get?

 

**< 20.02gmt>**

_ Claims it was my fault. Apparently I am “clumsy as fuck”. _

 

**< 20.02gmt>**

_ He’ll be telling people I “walked into a door” next. _

 

**< 20.02gmt>**

_ Asshole. _

 

**< 3:07PM>**

Your fault?

 

**< 3:07PM>**

It’ll be his fault when I ram my size 15 up his ass

 

**< 20.10gmt>**

_ My hero _

_ *heart eyes* *heart eyes* *heart eyes* _

  
  


__________________

  
  


**< 4:36PM>**

Just got off the phone with the kids. 

They both said hi but

 

**< 4:36PM>**

Ford’s learned a new word

 

**< 4:36PM>**

And apparently, it’s not funny that 

I laughed my ass off about it

 

**< 21.40gmt>**

_ Oh no, I don’t know if I even want _

_ to know after last week… is he not _

_ too young to pick up words?! _

_ I was relying on it heavily. _

_ *cry laugh emoji* _

 

**< 21.41gmt>**

_ P.s. *tree emoji* *tree emoji* *tree emoji* _

_ Broke my hand but brought me pressies. _

_ *praise hands emoji* _

 

**< 4:44PM>**

Ha. No. This is the age they cease to 

be kids and turn into parrots.

 

**< 4:44PM>**

This one’s totally on me. I can’t say 

two words without one of them being fuck. 

 

**< 4:45PM>**

You tell Sparkles not to give you rank shit. 

He owes you quality for hurting my babe 

 

**< 21.48gmt>**

_ Oh fuck! - literally. Momma bear _

_ would not have loved that. _

 

**< 21.48gmt>**

_ I can imagine Daddy was  _

_ very proud though :p _

 

**< 21.49gmt>**

_ all g baybee, this shit is A* _

 

**< 4:53PM>**

‘Baybee’ hm? Maybe I’ll forgive him.

 

**< 4:53PM>**

A bit.

 

**< 21.49gmt>**

_ *Photo* _

 

**< 21.49gmt>**

_ You like that, huh? Noted. _

 

**< 5:02PM>**

I like you and I miss that face

 

**< 5:02PM>**

RP is a lucky fucking bastard

 

**< 22.20gmt>**

_ I will kick him out soon.  _

 

**< 5:20PM>**

That definitely won’t hurt my feelings 

*wink emoji*

 

**< 22.21gmt>**

_ Starting to struggle to keep my mouth shut. _

 

**< 5:27PM>**

About? Us, you mean?

 

**< 22.29gmt>**

_ Us, I mean. _

 

**< 22.30gmt>**

_ No, not really. But I think I have already _

_ overused the term “Well, Armie said…” _

 

**< 22.30gmt>**

_ *upside down smile emoji* _

 

**< 5:36PM>**

He’s probably too high to notice, but 

I get it. I know how hard it is not to 

tell everyone.

 

**< 22.38gmt>**

_ I can't wait til I can tell everyone.  _

 

**_<_ ** **5:40PM >**

And just what would you tell them?

 

**< 22.41gmt>**

_ I'd start by just raising my eyebrows and saying “I  _ **_know,_ ** _ right?!” _

 

**< 5:43PM>**

Hahaha, yeah alright. But will you  _ really _ know by then?

*smirk emoji*

 

**< 22.45gmt>**

_ Jesus, I fucking hope so. I want everyone _

_ to envy me.  _

 

**< 5:46PM>**

Babe, they envy you already. 

 

**< 5:46PM>**

If anything, when they do find out, they’re 

gonna believe you could do a whole lot better

 

**< 5:47PM>**

I’m the winner in this scenario.

 

**< 22.48gmt>**

_ I'll just put you in the…  _

 

_ <<< _ **22.49gmt** **_>_ ** **> >**

_...tracksuit and get fucked into a mattress and we will see who wins.  _

 

**< <<5:51PM>>>**

*flame emoji* *flame emoji* *flame emoji*

That would be a fucking draw

 

_ <<< _ **22.52gmt** **_>_ ** **> >**

_ There can only be one victor. Place your bets?  _

 

**< <<5:53PM>>>**

If there’s only one victor, I’m afraid you’ve 

been doing it wrong, sweetheart.

 

_ <<< _ **22.55gmt** **_>_ ** **> >**

_ Fuck me.  _

 

_ <<< _ **22.56gmt** **_>_ ** **> >**

_ I didn't mean that ^^^ literally. But also? I mean that literally.  _

 

_ <<< _ **22.56gmt** **_>_ ** **> >**

_ I can't do this right now... Awkward boner. Hah. Text you later… ‘baybee’. xx _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben IG post: Tim pointing at his hand, angry face, Rob hands up, apologising.
> 
> Tim picture #1: sad face, peace sign across chest, back of hand facing camera. There is a noticeable graze across his hand.
> 
> Tim picture #2: cute scrunched up face, tongue peeking from side of mouth. Joint visible in between the fingers of his left hand.


	44. Chapter 44

**< <<7:17PM>>>**

How’s the hand, babe?

 

**< <<00.25gmt>>>**

_That really depends…_

 

**< <<7:28PM>>>**

Onnnn???

 

**< <<00.30gmt>>>**

_If it gets me your undivided attention_

_then it is really super sore_

 

**< <<00.30gmt>>>**

_May need surgery_

 

**< <<00.30gmt>>>**

_Possible amputation?_

 

**< <<00.31gmt>>>**

_If you're asking just to make conversation…_

 

**< <<00.31gmt>>>**

_Then yeah, it's fine :)_

 

**< <<7:36PM>>>**

God, I forget what you are like when you’re high

*laugh emoji*

 

**< <<7:36PM>>>**

You always have my undivided attention.

I thought you knew that by now

 

**< <<7:36PM>>>**

But, if it’s fine, then I guess you won’t need

me to kiss and make it better.

 

**< <<00.39gmt>>>**

_No, I guess not. It really is fine._

 

**< <<00.39gmt>>>**

_I did take a hit to the bollocks earlier though if…_

 

**< <<00.39gmt>>>**

_*wink emoji*_

 

**< <<7:44PM>>>**

Did you seriously just segue using the word ‘bollocks’?

*laugh cry emoji*

  


**< <<00.45gmt>>>**

_I’m British. I guess now they literally are the crown jewels._

_*crown emoji*_

 

**< <<00.46gmt>>>**

_As a sign of respect,_

_people ought to kneel before them._

 

**< <<00.47gmt>>>**

_Monarchy and all._

 

**< <<00.48gmt>>>**

_I don’t make the rules._

  


**< <<7:55PM>>>**

So what you're saying is you want me on my knees

so that I may worship you as befits a King?

 

**< <<00.57gmt>>>**

_I mean, *I* don’t…._

 

**< <<00.57gmt>>>**

_It’s just the law of the land y’kno?_

 

**< <<00.57gmt>>>**

_Truly, a hardship._

 

**< <<00.58gmt>>>**

***Photo***

 

**< <<00.58gmt>>>**

_A very, umm, *hard* ship._

  


**< <<8:01PM>>>**

Fuuuuuuck

 

**< <<8:01PM>>>**

That is a contagious condition I’m quickly noticing.

 

**< <<8:01PM>>>**

I would suggest we do something about that,

but with your injury and all….

 

**< <<01.04gmt>>>**

_Granted, I’d need more help…_

  


**< <<8:05PM>>>**

RPatz still around?

 

**< <<01.07gmt>>>**

_Yes, I was thinking I'd just show him_

_what you wanted to do to me and_

_get him to act it out?_

 

**< <<8:09PM>>>**

It would be a pale facsimile. But you gotta

do what you gotta do.

 

**< <<8:09PM>>>**

Though I was hoping we could help each other

out, you know, like bros do

  


**< <<01.12gmt>>>**

_What you have in mind?_

 

**< Facetime>**

**< Incoming call from Armz>**

**< 01:13gmt> **

 

<TC> Um, heeey. Woah, wait, I just-, hang on.

 [phone face down, shuffling in background]

 

<TC> Two seconds!

 [phone picked up, Timothee walking, looking down into camera with a grin, curls falling into his eyes. He sits down, slightly breathless]

 

<TC> Hey, sorry about that.

 

<AH> Did I interrupt?

 

<TC> I was just- [face reddens] No, no you didn’t. Fuck you look good, hi.

 

<AH> Hey, you. God, yeah. Look at you. Umm, is this okay? I should probably have asked if you were up for a call before…

 

<TC> No, like, dude… I think we are beyond that, I just _told_ you to… and I was just _about_ to… anyway [giggles] hey.

 

<AH> [laughing] Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what you were about to get up to [smiling wide, adoring] You are something else. I really did forget how you got when you were like this. It’s too much.

 

<TC> Yeah well, I prefer being high _with_ you, like the last time when we were in my- wait. [frowns] Hold the fuck up, pan back around…. Are you _in_ my fucking apartment??

 

<AH> [face burns bright red, turns phone to pan around the room, Timothee’s bedroom] Yeeeeaaah. Busted.

 

<TC> Oh fuck. Maaaan. [throws himself back on the bed with a groan] I'm so jealous! You’re gonna be in my bed again without me. [puts a hand over his face, mumbles] What the fuck did I do to deserve this?

 

<AH> I can go? I mean, I don’t _have_ to stay if you don’t want me to.

 

<TC> [grins, moves his hand, bites his lip] Don’t you dare. If it was up to me, you’d never leave.

 

<AH> [growling] That is a fucking temptation. But- umm, seriously. You don’t mind? I just didn’t… I didn’t want to be at my place. Not tonight.

 

<TC> [sobers, sits back up] Course I don’t mind… you okay?

 

<AH> Yeah, no. I’m good. Better now. [smiles fondly]

 

<TC> Sure?

 

<AH> [shrugs, nods, looks as sheepish as he can manage] Have been thinking about you all day and wanted to feel closer to you and just… it didn’t feel _right_ being there when I want to be… with you. Does that make sense?

 

<TC> [softly smirks] I’m almost tempted to say no just so you say it again.

 

<AH> Say what again?

 

<TC> All of it. That you’ve been thinking about me all day. That you want to feel closer to me. That you want to be with me.

 

<AH> I do. All of it. So fucking bad.

 

<TC> Me too, man. Seriously. So, umm, I have one small condition to your staying there…

 

<AH> Oookay?

 

<TC> [grins] Wait, wait,  how long you planning to stay?

 

<AH> I don’t know? Hadn’t really thought that far ahead [laughs shyly]

 

<TC> Ok well… my condition is you can stay on the proviso that I want to know everytime you, umm, [looks around, voice lowers to almost a mumble] every time you come.

 

<AH> [coughs, drops phone] _Shit!_ [fumbling noises in the background] Wait! Hang on. _Fuck._

 

<TC>[laughing]

 

<AH> [phone now back in hand, face redder than ever before] Warn a person, jesus. [laughing, under his breath] _Get a grip, Hammer._ [clears his throat] Okay. Yeah. That wasn’t… I mean- if that’s what you want, yeah, I can do that.

 

<TC> [emboldened] Get a grip, Hammer… seems a useful instruction… I mean, if you start now you don’t even have to tell me about this one… I’ll already know.

 

<AH> [snorts] That took a turn. From 0-60, man. [sits back in bed, runs his fingers through his hair as he smirks] This situation seems awfully _convenient_ for you and a lot one-sided to me. What do I get out of this scenario?

 

<TC> What do you mean?

 

<AH> I _mean_ , I thought I had a hot 20-something boyfriend so why am I having to do this alone?

 

<TC> Mmmmm… who said anything about doing it alone? [lies back on bed, visibly removes trousers with one hand, smile on his face]

 

<AH> Welllll, alrighty then. [struggles to remove his own in record time, laughing absurdly]

 

<TC> And the top too.

 

<AH> You first.

 

<TC> I asked first. [grins]

 

<AH> You are such a little shit. [drops phone on the bed, shuffling and rustling in the background before coming into full naked-chested view] Off you pop. [smug satisfaction] Wait. Prop your phone up, I wanna watch.

 

<TC> Haha, okaaaay [gets up off the bed, props phone up on chest of drawers. Steps back looking into the camera] So, ahh, I hope you can see me, I don’t know where my frame is, so…

 

<AH> [rolls his eyes]

 

<TC> [laughs] I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Okay. [bites his lower lip with a smile as he removes his sweatshirt, t-shirt riding up underneath. He throws the sweatshirt across the room, raking both hands through his hair, crying out when he catches the graze he clearly forgot about. He studies it for a moment before shaking his hand, looking back into the camera. He tips his head back, trying to stifle a grin, before grabbing his tshirt at the nape of his neck and dragging it over his head.]

 

<AH> I am the luckiest fucking bastard in the world. Goddam, I could come just watching you.

 

<TC> [throaty laugh as he picks up the phone, the corner of his mouth a main focus as he moves back to the bed] Thought that was RP? Make your mind up.[hops back onto the mattress, pulling up a pillow behind his head]

I don’t know if this video chat idea is a blessing or a fucking curse.

 

<AH> RP can fuck right off. Why are you even thinking about that asshole at a time like this? [sweeps his hand back through his hair, shaking his head] I’m grateful it’s just a video chat at the moment. Not sure I could handle you in the flesh. Looking at you, I’m just praying I don’t have an undiagnosed heart condition.

 

<TC> _I’m_ praying _I_ don't have an undiagnosed premature ejaculative condition.

 

<AH> I think we _both_ hope that isn’t a problem.

 

<TC> [grins] So, umm, are we-, is this-, what now?

 

<AH> [nervous laughter] I was kind of hoping you knew how this was supposed to go. I’m pretty sure I’m outta my league here.

 

<TC> You haven’t-, never done this before?

 

<AH> [lifts a brow] Think about that question, T.

 

<TC> What? I mean, I don’t mean _with a guy_ obviously…

 

<AH> You being a guy is not what I’m talking about. Do you _really_ think this would be the type of thing Liz would be interested in?

 

<TC> I just thought-, never mind. _Okay._ So we are both new to this. Umm, I know me talking about how awkward I feel isn’t going to make this _less_ awkward, so… I should stop talking, right?

 

<AH> No, I don’t want you to stop talking. I lo- like an awkward Timmy. But what can I do to make you _feel_ less awkward?

 

<TC> Just… reassure me? That you, that you want this and this isn’t going too... far? You don’t want… out, or anything? That this - that I’m - not gonna ruin things?

 

<AH> [shuffles in bed, sits up straighter, earnestly stares into phone] _Babe._ [closes his eyes, takes a deep breath] I am there… right _there_ with you. I have wanted this and _you_ for too long to even think about _ever_ wanting out. You are stuck with me and I’m sorry for that, but it’s just how it is. You could _never_ go too far or ruin anything. I want it _all._ I want _you._

 

<TC> [half smiles] Okay. That… helps. Thank you. Man, this is surreal as fuck… but… [shifts around on the bed until he is comfortable] Okay. _Fuck._ Y’know dude, this is crazy because _usually_ I am layin’ here thinking “I wish he was here” or “I wish he could see this” and like… [gestures to camera] here you fucking are and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been lying here at least two minutes - usually I’d have almost come by now… [smirks before giggling softly, shaking his head]

 

<AH> It’s crazy, right? [laughs softly, face turning pink] So, umm… you do this and you really… You think of me?

 

<TC> Are you kidding? Dude, I haven’t had a wank that _didn’t_ involve you since Crema, maybe even before.

 

<AH> _Before?_ I have no idea how to respond to that. But, I can say, since Crema, you are not alone.

 

<TC> So, in theory this should be easy, right?

 

<AH> You would think. [smirks] Maybe just… tell me something you like. Or, something you think about, in particular.

 

<TC> [eye contact, nods] I usually, umm, I usually- sometimes- start with… _fuck_ … allergies. The, um, allergies scene. I, err, usually, umm just don’t really think about dialogue? [smiles shyly] I mean, not the actual dialogue… I just don’t stop when you walk in. In my version. [coughs to cover his embarrassment]

 

<AH> [hums] I like the idea of that. Of walking in, watching you. The way you looked stretched out on that bed, your hand down your pants. You don’t look away or hide it from me as you slowly stroke yourself. In my version.

 

<TC> [voice low, rough] No, I _want_ you to see. To know what you do to me, what you _have been_ doing to me. I love the idea of you standing at the end of the bed, watching me while I wonder if it makes you… hard, too.

 

<AH> [groaning, shifting in bed] So hard it _hurts._

 

<TC> [hums appreciatively] I'd keep going, not taking my eyes off you as you walk around the side of the bed. I know you keep casting glances but it’s frustrating you that you can’t see anything… [inhale of breath, clear movement of right shoulder suggesting Timothee is mirroring his own dream actions] A bit like right now.

 

<AH> So fucking frustrating. But… you _could_ show me now.

 

<TC> _Touché_ [face flushed, he grins, removing his hand from his boxers, pressing the screen to flip the camera. Armie's view is now of his torso; contrasting light and grey check boxer shorts, both legs bent up, one knee falling to the side. White socks still on his feet. His hand slowly comes back into view, pushing under the waistband of his boxers, taking hold of himself once more] You mean, like this?

 

<AH> [growls] _Exactly_ like that.

 

<TC> I like being able to see your face as you watch me.

 

<AH> Good because I like watching you. Show me [licks his lips, lifting his chin to indicate Timmy should keep going] Show me how you like to do it. When you think of me. Of us.

 

<TC> [hand moves impossibly slow, the material of his boxer shorts barely moving.] Should I, uhh, take them off?

 

<AH> [in a rush] Yes, please. Yes. You should definitely take them off. Right now. Yes.

 

<TC> _Fuck_ , um, okay. Hang on [phone switches back to his face, his face slightly rosy, his lips reddened.] Imma need to prop this up, hold oooon… [screen goes blank, muffled sounds of movement. When the picture comes back, it is angled down Timothee’s body] Can you see okay?

 

<AH> Perfect.

 

<TC> Good, I can see you too. I am smiling right now even though you can’t see my face.

 

<AH> That is the only downside to this.

 

<TC> Oh, fuck, should I move…?

 

<AH> Nooo, nononono. I don’t know how else we could manage, it’s just… making me wish even _more_ that I were there with you. To see you. All of you. Like this. For the first time.

 

<TC> [moans softly] I think I’d probably come untouched if you were.

 

<AH> Mmmm, maybe someday, we can put that to the test.

 

<TC> [hands toying with waistband of his boxers, trailing along his skin, his thumbs tucking slightly under the fabric] I hope its a day very fucking soon.  In my scenario your face looks a lot like it does right now when you realise I am not going to stop.

 

<AH> I can’t imagine what it looks like. It’s numb at the moment.

 

<TC> [giggles breathlessly, his breath hitching as he slowly raises his hips, pushing his boxers down and freeing his erection which he strokes gently before taking a firm grip once again]  Tell me… what you’d do if you were… here.

 

<AH> [sucks in a breath between clenched teeth] Gimme… _fuck_ . I’m going to need just a second here, because [swallows, mouth gone dry] _look at you_ . You are… _gorgeous_. I feel like I’m fucking dreaming.

 

<TC> [his tone bashful] _Armieee._

 

<AH> [clears throat] Okay, okay. If I were there, I’d plant my ass on the bed beside you because standing up would no longer be an option.

 

<TC> [voice low, hand still slowly stroking] Did you-, are you naked… In your version?

 

<AH> I can be.

 

<TC> I want you to be. So I can touch you. Can I… touch you?

 

<AH> Anything. Anything you want. Your hands, your mouth. I want them on me. Everywhere.

 

<TC> Are you hard yet?

 

<AH> [laughs, low and throaty] I don’t think there is a word invented yet to describe how hard I am.

 

<TC> Good, ‘cause in my version I usually keep one hand on myself and the other on you, I want us to feel exactly the same.

 

<AH> Mmm, perfect. Trust me, I’m right there with you.

 

<TC> I want you to put your hand where mine should be.

 

<AH> Yes [low groan] Feels so good.

 

<TC> Good, match your pace to mine… Can you see how hard it makes me to watch you watching me?

 

<AH> Yes, you’re making me crazy, T. So fucking hot. I’ve never been so hard. _Fuck,_ and leaking like a goddamn sieve. I really want my mouth on you. Every inch of you.

 

<TC> [groans] _Fuck._ [shallow breathing] The amount of… times I’ve wanted to… fuck your mouth… I can’t… you’ve… [trails off, his hand working himself faster]

 

<AH> Jesus, fuck yeah. I’ve never… but, god, T. I want that. I want you to use me. [breath stutters]

 

<TC> [shifts slightly on the bed, bucking his hips into his hand. He laughs softly, almost manically] This is gonna be… over sofuckingquick. Holy shit… tell me what you… like...what you want me… to do…

 

<AH> Yeah, I don’t know how long… mmm… I want… I can’t stop thinking about you fucking my mouth, your… hands in my hair. Pulling. Fuck, so tight in my hair- I want you to guide me, make me take it. All of it until I can’t breathe and you’re all I can see and taste and smell. [heavy breathing, shifting sounds of the bed] The idea that… god, T. That you could fucking _handle_ me… it’s… it’s not something I’ve ever thought to want. But… I want that, from you.

 

<TC> I wanna do that, I _will_ do that, whatever you fucking want… whatever it takes to make you feel good. [his breath hitches, he is clearly close already. His hand slows, his fingers light, his thumb tracing over the head of his cock, giving himself a break] I need to…. Otherwise I’ll….Watching you like this is… I really like watching your face, your expressions…

 

<AH> [smiles softly, cheeks flushed] It’s all because of you… for you. You’re just so fucking beautiful, I can’t believe… you’re mine.

 

<TC> Yep… _this_ is… all yours. [he starts working himself faster again with a low groan] I need to… I want you to tell me when to come… but first… I want to watch you taste yourself… so I can pretend it’s me, that it’s me on your lips…

 

<AH> _Jesus, Timmm_ … [breath hitches as his eyes screw shut] Fuck, I can’t hold back if you say… say things like that. _Shit_ … I’m gonna… [a long drawn out moan] _Tim_ , I need _..._

 

<TC> [voice soft, breathy, proud] Yeaaah, Armie, it’s okay, I’ve got you - I am still holding you… keep going…

 

<AH> God, yeah. [desperate, voice tight, looks straight into the camera before closing his eyes again] Baby. I want you so bad. Fuck. Yeah… yeah. [his body tenses, neck arched, as he moans in pleasure as he comes]

 

<TC> _Fuck me_ … do you even know how you look, how you sound, right now, I… [inhales deeply, thin sheen of sweat visible on his skin as he moves, his movements becoming more desperate, needy]

 

<AH> [breathing heavily, eyes glassy, he smiles weakly] Not half as good as you look. [shifts in the bed with a sigh] Are you close, baby? What do you need? [smile becomes lascivious right before his hand comes into view, his index and middle finger glistening wet in the low light. He brings them to his mouth, his tongue sneaking between them as he licks them clean before sucking them into his mouth with a satisfied sigh and a sated moan] I need you to return the favor, babe. Mmm, let me know how good _I_ taste.

 

<TC> Oh… shit… you actually did-, fuck… [his body now writhing on the bed, one hand still working hard, the other strokes it's way up his body until it's no longer visible. The muscles in his lower abdomen fluttering in contractions. When he speaks his voice is reedy, thin, pleading] Please… tell me I can come… please….

 

<AH> Where are you putting _my_ hand, baby?

 

<TC> [strained] My… neck. Always, your hands, around my neck… I need it… to come… _Please_ …

 

<AH> Fuck, _yes_. I can feel your pulse fluttering beneath my fingertips. My palm squeezing until you can’t breathe. [voice nearly a growl] Let me see, Tim. Show me how much you want me. Come for me now.

 

<TC> Mmmmmfuck, fuck, fuck, fuck….. Armie, I-.... I-... _Fuck…_ [continues to thrust up into his fist, his hips jerky and uncoordinated as his breath catches on each inhale. With an almost surprised “Ahhh”, he is coming, white ribbons coating his hand, his stomach, pulsing out long after the initial spurt, his breathlessness turning to soft giggles as he removes his hand, holding it up, a spider web of come linking his fingers. He huffs out a laugh as his hand disappears off screen and soft suckling noises can be heard. His legs are restless on the bed, one bent, his knee turned inwards, his cock twitching. His hand comes back into focus] There you go, babe, all clean… You taste unbelievable...

 

<AH> _My god_ . [he shakes his head, licking his lips] That was… _fuck_ … The hottest thing I’ve ever seen, T. Turn the camera- I need to see you. Now.

 

<TC> Okay hold on… I have it-, It’s in a holder-wait- [screen goes dark for a second before the camera is switched, Tim holding the phone directly above his head, his hair a riot of curls falling into his flushed face, his neck and chest a delicate pink. His lips are swollen, bitten but his smile is wide, his eyes bright] Yeah, that was… fucking insane… What did we just do?? [he laughs, throwing an arm over his face]

 

<AH> [laughs low] I don’t know but I want to do it again.

 

<TC> So soon? Fuck, Armie, I know I am young but… [grins, removing his arm]

 

<AH> Yeah, yeah. Was more just wishful thinking on my part. [shakes his head, smiles almost shyly] That was… the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. Fuck, T. [scrubs a hand through his hair] I didn’t… I didn’t know it could be that fucking _good_ just to _watch you._ Not sure how I’ll survive when we can really… be together? [sighs, goes quiet just staring at Timmy through the phone screen] You’re so beautiful, you know that?

 

<TC> [shy attempts to close his mouth fail as he struggles to keep a bashful grin off his face] Thank you. You’re not bad yourself. [exhales, shaking his head.] That said, I am not too sure how _you_ were the one who ended up with the full body shot… I am pretty sure I was planning to get _you_ naked?

 

<AH> Who said I wasn’t?

 

<TC> On camera….

 

<AH> Then there will definitely have to be a _next time_ , right?

 

<TC> [laughs] Yeah, I guess so. In about an hour? My apartment, my rules.

 

<AH> Shit, I had no idea you were such a task master…

 

<TC> Oh, I am a _very_ strict landlord, Mr Hammer...

 

<AH> Then I guess I am at your mercy, _sir._

 

<TC> [groans, his eyes closing] Did I say an hour? I meant a minute…

 

<AH> [laughs softly] I’m pretty sure that is wishful thinking on both our parts. You’re a beautiful mess and seeing you so thoroughly ruined is going to fuel my dreams for ages, but you also look absolutely wrecked. What time is it there, anyway?

 

<TC> [opens his eyes slowly, squints] Urgh, close to 2. I should go, do some dreaming of my own. Call me tomorrow?

 

<AH> Yes, get some sleep and we’ll definitely talk tomorrow.

 

<TC> [eyes drifting closed] ‘kay. _Jesus,_ ‘m fucked… right. Love you, night **.**

 

**< call has disconnected>**  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tim Pic #1:** phone behind his head, over the shoulder shot of his full body on the sofa, dark grey sweatshirt rucked up, white t-shirt hem visible, lower stomach creamy except for light dusting of dark hair. Baby pink cotton tracksuit bottoms, one leg tucked into a white sports sock the other hitched up, his calf bare. Waistband pulled low by a grazed hand at his hip, bulge of his cock evident by his fingertips.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timmy's return to action makes hacking easier. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**July 16, 2018**

 

 **tchalamet** liked **itsmeben** ’s post. 11m

——————

 

<<< **09.26gmt** >>>

_Woke up thinking about last night._

<<< **09.26gmt** >>>

_I made a mess…_

<<< **09.26gmt** >>>

_*Photo*_

 

——————

 **tchalamet:** _video out of window across country hills, slow wave, rock on gesture as reflection comes into view_

 **Music:** _Kids See Ghosts, Feel the Love_

(via IG stories)

——————

**< <<8:14AM>>>**

Mmm, messy looks good on you, baby.

**< <<8:29AM>>>**

Annnd, now the count is at 3

**< <<8:31AM>>>**

I’m not even ashamed by that timestamp callout

*wink emoji*

**< <<8:31AM>>>**

I want to stay naked, in your bed, all day

**< <<8:32AM>>>**

*Photo*

 

<<< **13.35gmt** >>>

_3? I seem to be missing evidence of one…_

_#strict_

<<< **13.36gmt** >>>

_But fuck, I'm homesick._

 

**< <<8:42AM>>>**

You only said I had to ‘tell’ you, not show you

*wink emoji*

**< <<8:42AM>>>**

We need a countdown till you’re home. With me.

 

——————

< **13.55gmt** >

_*Photo*_

< **13.55gmt** >

_For Hops *horse emoji*_

——————

<10.46PST>

**Dude, gonna be in town this week**

**(don't even ask)... save a pint for me?**

 

**< 1:54PM>**

Now you know I’m DYING to ask

**< 1:54PM>**

But, yeah, I can always make time for you.

Just let me know when you get in

 

<10.59PST>

**In Thurs evening, so I'm free when you are.**

**Have a meeting Friday afternoon.**

**Fucking hate this city, make it good for me.**

<11:02PST>

**All okay with you, dude?**

 

**< 2:07PM>**

Sounds good. We can meet up after the show if you want.

Grab some dinner. Been too long since we’ve had a

chance to hang out.

**< 2:08PM>**

Things are great with me, man

 

<11\. 12PST>

**Awesome. Sleepover! Sort everything out**

**with T?**

 

**< 2:16PM>**

Sleepover? What are we 12 year old girls now?

**< 2:17PM>**

Things with T are good. I think?

 

<11\. 32PST>

**Is it only a sleepover if you fancy**

**them? My bad.**

<11\. 32PST>

**You ‘think’? Oh no…**

 

**< 2:36PM>**

Fine, call it a sleepover if that’s what floats your boat.

We’ll even have a pillow fight. Will that make Niki happy?

*eyeroll emoji* *middle finger emoji*

**< 2:38PM>**

No, everything is REALLY GOOD, especially after last

night *wink emoji* But

**< 2:38PM>**

Something happened and I don’t know if it was an

accident or if it even meant anything

My fucking head, man. Nvm

 

<11\. 39PST>

**Dude, I know it's been a while but that's**

**_supposed_ ** **to happen…?**

<11\. 40PST>

**Jk, jk. What's up? (and yes to pillow fights**

**and matching pjs)**

 

**< 2:42PM>**

I’m well aware and let me just say, there was no

problem in that area at all. I’m still fucking weak

**< 2:43PM>**

It was amazing. Like the best I’ve ever had considering

he’s 6000 miles away. Fuck

**< 2:43PM>**

But he… said he loved me. You know, like right before he hung up.

Then I hear from him today and I can’t read him. Does he even

realise he said it? Do I say something to him?

**< 2:44PM>**

Jesus. Maybe I am a 12 year old girl

 

<11\. 51PST>

**Hmm. Tricky. Because he does, that much is clear.**

**I heard it from a blind man.**

<11\. 51PST>

**Was that the first time he said it?**

 

**< 2:53PM>**

You’re freaking hilarious. Asshole.

**< 2:53PM>**

No, we say it all the time, in one way or another.

But I don’t know if this was ‘love you, man’ or if

**< 2:54PM>**

Fuck, you know

 

<12\. 14PST>

**Well, how did he say it?**

 

**< 3:22PM>**

How did he say it? I don't know. He just… said it, said

goodnight and hung up?

 

<12\. 26PST>

**So it wasn't like “Armie, I am so fucking crazy about**

**you I can't see straight, I think - No! I KNOW! -**

**I'm in love with you”?**

 

**< 3:28PM>**

Fuck. No, it wasn’t anything like that.

**< 3:28PM>**

Which means it was just Tim being Tim, right? Normal ‘pal’ Tim

 

<12\. 37PST>

**How did you feel?**

 

**< 3:39PM>**

To hear him say it and think…

**< 3:40PM>**

It's all I want.

 

<12:42PST>

 **Good, at least I know how** **_one_ ** **of you feels.**

**You could… Ask him? Or, say it first?**

 

**< 3:45PM>**

I don't want him to feel like he _has_ to say it and if I say it

first. That's what will happen

**< 3:45PM>**

Right? He'll feel obligated or some shit

 

<12:48PST>

**Not necessarily, not if he meant it. That said, it's okay to**

**not want to push him. All of this, it's been a lot for you**

**both and it's very early fucking days**

<12:49PST>

**(can't believe I just typed that after complaining**

**it's been** **_two fucking years_ ** **)**

 

**< 3:55PM>**

I know. I know. You're right. As much as that hurts me to say to you.

**< 3:56PM>**

But it _has_ been two years and I love him so fucking much I

can't see straight. I think he does too but I want to _know it_

 

<1:21PST>

**Just don't stress on it, A. We all know he does. I’m sure he**

**will say it again in a way you can't misread.**

<1:21PST>

**Until then, just relax and enjoy it. Though sounds**

**to me like you're managing that part just fine**

<1:22PST>

**And no, that's not an invitation for details.**

 

**< 4:36PM>**

Yeah yeah yeah, you don’t have to worry about that.

I wasn’t planning on giving you any.

**< 4:36PM>**

But exactly when did you become the love guru, though?

 

<1:46PST>

**As your ex likes to remind everyone, I am still**

**single. I don’t think ‘guru’ is very accurate, sadly.**

 

**< 4:51PM>**

I don’t know? She was wrong about me after all.

**< 4:51PM>**

You’re just making a lot of sense suddenly. Wisdom with age?

  **< 4:52PM>**

Thanks for talking me off the ledge. Again.

 

<1:59PST>

**That’s my job. You can repay me later.**

**Catch you Thurs, dude. And good luck.**

 

**< 5:07PM>**

See you then. Drinks are on me.  And thanks again, brother.

 

 ——————

**< 5:23PM>**

Was planning a slumber party at your place later this week.

If that’s okay with you

*laugh emoji*

 

< **22.42gmt** >

_A slumber party?_

 

**< 5:56PM>**

Nick’s gonna be here on Thursday.

**< 5:57PM>**

But we’re _definitely_ not crashing at

your place. Only teasing. Just wanted to

give you the head’s up ;)

**< 5:58PM>**

Besides, the next person I share a bed

with is _not_ going to be Nick

 

< **22.59gmt** >

_Good *angry face emoji*_

_Though you guys are_

_more than welcome to stay over._

<<< **23.00gmt** >>>

 _And you can give me_ ~~_the_~~ _head_ ~~_’s up_~~ _anytime._

 

**< 6:02PM>**

Do I detect a note of jealousy there, Timo?

*side eye emoji* *laugh emoji*

 

**< <<6:03PM>>>**

Yes, please.

 

**< 6:04PM>**

Thanks. My place is closer to the theater

and we’re only meeting up after the play

so makes sense to stay there. But you are

the best to offer

 

< **23.06gmt** >

_Always jealous  of someone getting to_

_hang out/share a bed with Nik._

 < **23.06gmt** >

_You’re welcome x_

 <<< **23.09gmt** >>>

_*Photo*_

_Night, baybee._

 

**< 6:11PM>**

You and Nik would make a lovely couple

*vomit emoji*

 

  **< <<6:13PM>>>**

Sweet dreams, sweet T.

 

 

**——————**

**< <<10:43PM>>>**

4

**< <<10:44PM>>>**

*Photo*

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tim photo #1:  front facing camera, cum-covered stomach shot.
> 
> Armie photo #1: selfie, bare chest, eyes closed as if sleeping, face half buried in Timmy’s pillow
> 
> Tim photo #2: selfie, beaming smile in front of a black stallion.
> 
> Tim photo #3: close up of mouth, fingers slightly dragging his bottom lip, small flash of tooth.
> 
> Armie photo #2: cock in hand, come dripping from his thumb


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can we get a collective "ahh"?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your continued patience with us and this story. We appreciate ALL of the love and comments even though we are disgustingly behind on responding. All going well, real life can once again take a bit of a backseat to let us focus on getting these chapters out for you - YAY. So here we go...  
> Peace & Love xo  
> Photo captions now posted beneath photos - thanks for the feedback x

 

**July 17, 2018**

 

<<< **08.08gmt** >>>

_Fuck. I think I am getting sick._

 

<<< **08.08gmt** >>>

_I’d give anything to stay in bed_

 

<<< **08.09gmt** >>>

_Ideally with you._

 

**< <<7:43AM>>>**

This is not what I like waking up to hear

 

**< <<7:43AM>>>**

The sick part, not the in bed with me part. Because

 

**< <<7:43AM>>>**

Yes, please.

 

**< <<7:44AM>>>**

What’s going on, babe?

 

<<< **13.02gmt** >>>

_Sore throat, runny nose… fuck sake,_

_I don’t need this right now?_

 

<<< **13.05gmt** >>>

_I am such a baby. Sorry._

 

**< <<8:09AM>>>**

You are. _My_ baby. So, don’t apologise.

 

**< <<8:09AM>>>**

I hate you’re there and I can’t take care of you

 

**< <<8:10AM>>>**

No way you can take a day, I guess?

 

<<< **13.14gmt** >>>

_Thanks to timezones, I'm already done for the day._

 

<<< **13.14gmt** >>>

**_*Photo*_ **

_ {Cup of hot drink, two tablets.} _

 

<<< **13.16gmt** >>>

_Back in bed._

 

<<< **13.16gmt** >>>

_Remember when I was sick_

_in Paris and you ran me that super_

_helpful bath? I need that again._

 

 

**< <<8:22AM>>>**

I’m glad you managed then

 

**< <<8:23AM>>>**

A bath would be nice. And this time I could

get in with you.

 

**< <<8:23AM>>>**

I’ve always wanted to wash your hair.

 

**< <<8:23AM>>>**

Is that weird?

 

**< <<8:24AM>>>**

Then I could take my time, towel you off,

tuck you in bed

 

**< <<8:24AM>>>**

Could read you one of the kids’ bedtime stories ;)

 

<<< **13.26gmt** >>>

_Yeah, okay daddy…_

 

**< <<8:28AM>>>**

Ok, nope. Take it back.

 

**< <<8:28AM>>>**

Take it allllll back

 

<<< **13.35gmt** >>>

_*cry laughing emoji*_

 

<<< **13.35gmt** >>>

_Not gonna work for you?_

 

**< <<8:41AM>>>**

Just a switch I don’t think I’m comfortable flipping.

With two toddlers, kind of the wrong mindset for me.

 

**< <<8:42AM>>>**

Unless, I mean, is it something _you_ particularly like?

 

<<< **13.45gmt** >>>

_I was only joking, I didn't mean to freak you out_

 

<<< **13.46gmt** >>>

_I haven't actually  put any thought into it?_

 

<<< **13.46gmt** >>>

_But I guess you just ruled it out ;)_

 

**< <<8:52AM>>>**

Maybe we can _revisit_ the idea once

the kids are in college ;)

  


<<< **13.54gmt** >>>

_Oh, you reckon you’re gonna be_

_good enough to keep me interested_

_until college years, huh?..._

 

**< <<8:57AM>>>**

Well, I _had_ hoped. Dreamed.

 

**< <<8:57AM>>>**

You don’t see

us hanging on that long?

 

<<< **13.59gmt** >>>

_I am not 100% convinced I will_

_even make it through this day_

_*sick emoji*_

 

<<< **14.01gmt** >>>

_So long, farewell, it's been wonderful._

_*skull emoji*_

 

**< <<9:03AM>>>**

Ha, yeah, alright.

 

**< <<9:03AM>>>**

What you need is sleep.

 

**< <<9:03AM>>>**

As your man and _not_ your dad, I’m

telling you to put your ass to bed

 

<<< **14.04gmt** >>>

_Okay, so “no” to daddy, but I_

_still gotta take orders?_

 

<<< **14.04gmt** >>>

_It's a good job you’re hot._

 

<<< **14.04gmt** >>>

_I think I might just be_

_able to picture keeping you til college_

 

<<< **14.05gmt** >>>

_I am sure my time as an award winning_

_actor will have long come to and end and_

_you can help me relive my glory days_

 

<<< **14.05gmt** >>>

_From the comfort of our bed,_

 

<<< **14.06gmt** >>>

_Or couch._

 

<<< **14.06gmt** >>>

_Or kitchen table._

 

**< <<9:08AM>>>**

All of the above

 

**< <<9:08AM>>>**

Wherever, whenever. Anywhere you are, there I’ll be <3

 

**< <<9:08AM>>>**

Seriously, though. Get some rest. For me?

 

**< <<9:09AM>>>**

I’ll be here when you wake up.

 

<<< **14.10gmt** >>>

_Okay, you win. Xxxx_

 

________________

  


**@RealChalamet:**

NETFLIX AND CHILL  #notanad… but… #theKing coming soon! :p

_ *Photo of his chest, logo emblazoned, glass of ice held up in his left hand* _

 

________________

 

**< <<4:13PM>>>**

Someone’s feeling better I see

 

**< <<21:20gmt>>>**

_Are you gloating?_

 

**< <<4:24PM>>>**

Moi? Never

 

**< <<21:26gmt>>>**

_Good. Because sleep helped but if anyone asks…_

 

**< <<21:26gmt>>>**

_IM STILL SICK :p_

 

**< <<4:29PM>>>**

Your secret is safe

 

**< <<4:29PM>>>**

Though you owe me one ;)

 

**< <<21:31gmt>>>**

_You’ll get it in heaven._

 

**< <<21:32gmt>>>**

_Whatcha doin?_

 

**< <<4:33PM>>>**

The least I can get by with

 

**< <<4:33PM>>>**

Nothing, actually. Was watching tv, killing time till I head out

 

**< <<4:34PM>>>**

Gotta love this single life

 

**< <<21:36gmt>>>**

_WOW ARMIE_

 

**< <<21:36gmt>>>**

_Single life?_

 

**< <<21:36gmt>>>**

_Kick a guy in the ball sack_

_*middle finger emoji*_

 

**< <<4:37PM>>>**

What? I meant, single, as in solo. Here. Alone. With no one.

 

**< <<4:37PM>>>**

I’m the chump waiting around for his boyfriend to call

 

**< <<21:39gmt>>>**

_Oh, you have a boyfriend?_

 

**< <<4:40PM>>>**

Yeah, he’s a bit of a dick, but he’s alright

 

**< <<4:41PM>>>**

Till something better comes along

 

**< <<21:43gmt>>>**

_Tell me more about him_

 

**< <<21:43gmt>>>**

_I bet he’s good looking_

 

**< <<21:44gmt>>>**

_He’d have to be to land a catch like you._

 

**< <<4:45PM>>>**

Flattery will get you everywhere, Chalamet

 

**< <<21:46gmt>>>**

_Trying to get you to cheat on him with me._

 

**_< <<_ ** **4:47PM >>>**

Sorry, my heart is true ;)

 

**< <<21:48gmt>>>**

_Urgh._

 

**< <<21:49gmt>>>**

_Guess he’s lucky then, I suppose…_

 

**_< <<_ ** **4:51PM >>>**

Nah, man. I’m the lucky one.

 

**< <<4:51PM>>>**

What about you? No special ‘someone’ in your life?

 

**< <<21:53gmt>>>**

You’re _the lucky one?_

 

**< <<21:54gmt>>>**

_Fuck, his dick must be huge._

 

**< <<21:54gmt>>>**

_Ahhh, I don’t do too bad. Not too bad._

 

**< <<5:03PM>>>**

I have zero complaints considering…

 

**< <<22:05gmt>>>**

_Considering…?_

 

**_< <<_ ** **5:07PM >>>**

Considering it’s a long distance relationship

at the moment and I’ve not actually gotten

up close and personal with his dick yet

 

**< <<22:08gmt>>>**

_If you were mine, I would treat you better…_

 

**< <<22:08gmt>>>**

_How can he even bear to be away from you?_

 

**< <<5:09PM>>>**

It _is_ a burden

 

**< <<5:09PM>>>**

You think you could do better?

 

**< <<22:12gmt>>>**

_Fuck yeah. But I guess you’ll never know now..._

 

**< <<5:14PM>>>**

Too bad, my loss, man. ;)

 

**< <<5:14PM>>>**

Gotta head out. Think you’ll feel up for

a call after the show?

 

**< <<22:12gmt>>>**

_I might have misunderstood the British accent_

_but I am PRETTY SURE that’s exactly_

_what the doctor prescribed??_

 

**_< <<_ ** **5:17PM >>>**

Then by all means, we’ll have to see

you follow doctor’s orders to the letter

 

**< <<5:18>>>**

Later, babe.

  


**< <<22:20gmt>>>**

_xxxxx_

 

___________________

 

**< <<22:25gmt>>>**

**_*Photo*_ **

_ {picture of a bed, strewn with tissues} _

 

**< <<22:26gmt>>>**

_Welcome to Timmy’s bedroom, age 15_ _  
_ _*cry laughing emoji*_

 

___________________

 

**< <<22:58gmt>>>**

**_*Photo*_ **

_ {legs stretched out on sofa, TV on, menu highlighted: CMBYN on Sky}_

  


**< <<22:58gmt>>>**

_Have you seen this movie? Might give a watch._

 

___________________

  


**< <<23:06gmt>>>**

_This young kid is such a skinny fucker._

 

___________________

  


**< <<23:19gmt>>>**

_Tough Timmy: Turned it off, wasn’t that good._ _  
_ _Me Timmy: Turned it off, I miss your fucking face._

 

___________________

 

**< <<10:23PM>>>**

Only just on my way home back to your place,

let me know if you’re still up and I’ll _ring_ you

when I get there. x

 

**< <<03:31gmt>>>**

_I wasn’t, but I am now. x_

 

___________________

 

**< Incoming call from Armz>**

**< 03:36gmt>**

 

<TC> [croaky] Mornin’

 

<AH> Aw, babe, you sound pitiful. How are you feeling?

 

<TC> [sniffs, clears throat] ‘M okay… I’ll survive. How was the show tonight?

 

<AH> The show was good. Crowd was into it. You know, nothing bad and nothing exciting, which can be nice in its own way.

 

<TC> Yeah, completely. I’m still toying with the idea for like…. Late next year? I dunno… I guess it depends but… [noise of shuffling and movement] we’ll see, huh.

 

<AH> [hums] Guess you will want to stick close to home for a while after all this.

 

<TC> Well, it will be back to Europe for a bit but... Yeah. [coughs, more sounds of movement] I remember being told before that the first year is key, you know? You might not get that again, that the interest in you could wane and it might be years before it comes back again so… I can’t risk taking it for granted right now but, ideally, I’ll get time to stick around at home soon. And, yeah, I don’t know why I am talking to you like this - 4am Timothee is in his morning press call evidently. Sorry, sorry….

 

<AH> [laughs softly] 4am Timothee is adorable. But, yeah, I mean- [clears throat, muffled shuffling] You’ve totally got to strike while the iron is hot. [pauses, sighs] I’m just clearly being- Guess I just hadn’t thought about the _future_ in terms of _where_ it might all lead? Or where we would end up?

 

<TC> _‘Us’, you mean?_ for want of a clearly unique phrase…[laughs]

 

<AH> Am I presuming? This is it, right? This _is_ what we’re doing? An _us_.

 

<TC> Yeah, no, that part it a given. To me, anyway.  Do you mean ‘us’ together, is that what you’re thinking about? Or ‘us’ as two individual actors with zero job security?

 

<AH> [snorts] Yeah, we’re never gonna be able to do anything about the job insecurity. We are gluttons for punishment by choice of profession. No, I was more talking about you and me, what a future for us might look like. [deep breath, heavy sigh] This is probably too heavy a convo to get into for sick 4am Timo. Sorry, babe.

 

<TC> No, no… don’t be. It is obviously on your mind. Did something happen?

 

<AH> No, nothing in particular. Just when you mentioned maybe coming back, doing a play here next year, made me think. New York’s _your_ home. I’m only visiting and will more than likely be headed back to LA when this gig is over and it’s made me think, like, where do we go from here?

 

<TC> Well as of right now I don’t really _have_ a home. I mean, yeah of course New York is where I see myself being but… [coughing fit] - sorry, hang on - [sound of coughing, moving, running water]... _fuck…_ yeah, umm, what was I saying?

 

<AH> Aw, babe, you okay?

 

<TC> [laughs softly] Sexy, isn’t it?

 

<AH> Stop kinkshaming me. [laughs] Seriously, are you alright? I fucking hate this. [groans softly] I guess- maybe this, you being ill there and me being here, is what’s making me think of future _us_. Together. Where and how we can make that happen.

 

<TC> _Armie_ , I’m fine, honestly. I have a cold, that's all, though I appreciate your desire to be here and make me feel better by doing any number of things to my sick and tired body. [hums to himself] I guess… I guess I thought future us would have more of a say in things? We’d be discussing our options and plans _together_ and try and make them work in our favour a little more? It’s a luxury we didn’t have _now_. It’s nice to think we might?

 

<AH> I know. You’re right. I’m just, wondering, you know? How to make things work when we’ll always seem to be in this place. Me here and you there. Wherever that may be.

 

<TC> We will just have to work hard to make sure we have more time where its Me here and You here. And vice versa. Anyway, you might get sick of me if you have me around too much.

 

<AH> Never gonna happen.

 

<TC> Never say never…

 

<AH> I could say the same thing to you. Of course we’ll work hard to make time for each other when we can, I’m just- [muffled shuffling] when does this _future us_ start? You’ll be wrapping just as I’m winding down with the play. I guess- I guess what I’m wondering is… where do we end up? I want- shit, never mind. What time is it? It’s too late for this discussion [brittle laugh]

 

<TC> [murmurs to himself] I guess we can shelve it, along with all of the other Big Topics we are storing up for when I see you next? As for _future us_ , I kinda feel like _this_ is it? It’s already started. I know it's messy and not ideal, but… this is us right now and I still wouldn’t change it? I have wa- oh, hold up, sorry - [sound of sneezing, Armie “Bless you”] - _fuck me,_ sorry again, thank you, okay, yeah, I have waited 20-odd years for this, Armie. I have zero issue with holding out.

 

<AH> [sighs] I think you’re- I’m not speaking in hypotheticals here. I’m talking actual logistics. I love NYC but my home, my _kids_ are in LA. I think… I think my fear about all of this is, again, the sacrifices you are going to have to make. If we- in order to make a future.

 

<TC> I, umm, I guess for me though, my _home_ ? Where I feel I belong, where my, my, my fucking _soul_ is? It’s not… a _place_. I mean, if you need to be in LA because of your kids, because that's where your life is, then… then I guess it looks like I am packing for LA. I don’t care about logistics, they’re irrelevant to me. I go where you go.

 

<AH> [softly] _Tim._ [pause, deep breath, shaky exhale] I am so in love with you.

 

<TC> [bashful] Ha, I know, who wouldn’t be, right?

 

<AH> [serious tone] I’m not fucking joking.

 

<TC> Oh-, Oh. Right, well… wow, okay. This isn’t quite how I imagined this would go but umm-

 

<AH> So how did you? Imagine it to go?

 

<TC> Wait, can you hang on…?

 

**< call has disconnected>**

 

**< Facetime>**

**< Incoming call from Timothee>**

**< 16 July 2018>**

**< 10.48PM>**

 

<AH> Hey

 

<TC> Hey… sorry I just… [looks down and around before back at the camera with a smile] There are some things I can do over the phone and _this_ just… isn’t one of them I guess. [serious expression] You don’t mind me switching, right?

 

<AH> Course not.

 

<TC> Good. [visibly relaxes] Hi. I like your shirt. Okay, so umm. Wow. Yeah okay so I can already feel myself going red as fuck here so [giggles]… umm. I thought we would be together, saying this. I thought it would be something I could have planned for or whatever but I guess, no. [raises his eyebrows] This is how things go in the real world, without a script right so, umm… [bites lip]

 

<AH> You don’t _have_ to-

 

<TC> [looks up sharply] No, stop- please, just let me-, you just caught me off guard, is all. I always pictured it would be me who said it first… [coyly looks down with a smile] In fact I am not even convinced I haven’t already 100 times. [laughs and looks back to camera] Because I do. Love you, I mean…. So fucking much.

 

<AH> [smiling like the sun] We _do_ say it all the time. But we’ve never _said_ it, you know?

 

<TC> Well... [grins] here I am, fucking saying it. 

 

<AH> [chuckling, nodding his head] Yeah, you are. [smiles softly into camera]  You know, you said it last night… after. It was the first time you had since we became _this_ . And I sort of freaked about it? I mean, I actually went to _Nick_ about it for fuck’s sake. [laughs at himself, rolls his eyes]

 

<TC> I did? Fuck, sorry. [laughs, rakes a hand through his fringe] Guaranteed, _that_ was not how I would have pictured it either, muttering it in my come down. [groans, drops his head forward] I am classy Hammer, I see why you stuck by me.

 

<AH> I can appreciate it for how precious it was _now_ . But it did take me by surprise. I had no idea what it meant [shakes his head, laughs quietly] He told me just to ask you about it, or to say it to you first, since it’s not a secret to him that I have… loved you for a long time now. [combs fingers through his hair] I _had_ to say it now, there was nothing else I could have wanted to say to answer you. I didn’t say it to _make_ you say it back. I hope that’s clear. Cause what you said…[swallows noticeably] you’re my home, too.

 

<TC> [softly] No, I know you didn't… and _thank you._ [shyly smiles and runs a hand over the back of his neck before bringing it around to his lips]

 

<AH> [face so fond, smile small and soft]

 

<TC> [sniffs and wipes at his eyes, clearly emotional] _Fuck man,_ this cold…

 

<AH> [indulgent] My poor baby. Cold really bothering you, huh? [winks]

 

<TC> Yeah, kinda randomly all of a sudden. [shakes head, makes a noise] Anyway, I am _very_ glad that you-, that we-, that you feel this way too.

 

<AH> I do. I love you. I’m _in_ love with you. Even your snotty nose.

 

<TC> Yeah? Well, that's reassuring because right now?… it’s _a lot._

 

<AH> Which reminds me, as a _loving_ boyfriend, I should probably let you go so you can get a little more rest before work.

 

<TC> If you really loved me, you’d send over some Xan’s or whatever but fine, I get it… “little rest”...

 

<AH> Just looking out for you

 

<TC> [flops back on the bed, camera taking a second to settle back on his face] Okay, I will let you go then. If you can’t supply the drugs, pictures might work too. Worth a try? [grins] Talk later?

 

<AH> Sorry, I don’t deal in pharmaceuticals. Only organic herbal remedies. [smiles] Rest, feel better and text me later.

 

<TC> [laughs] Okay. Still love you. Talk later. [waves slowly]

 

<AH> [shakes his head, still smiling] Love you, too.

 

**< call has disconnected>**

 

___________________

 

**Armie Hammer✔** @armiehammer · 17 July

Homeshake — Give It To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armie's song; https://genius.com/Homeshake-give-it-to-me-annotated


	47. Chapter 47

 

 **armiehammer** commented on **tchalamet** ’s post: “so much for that Columbia education, it’s ‘armie’”. 18s

 **armiehammer** liked **tchalamet** ’s post. 20s

 **richcordiero** commented on **tchalamet** ’s post: “check your messages brother. proposition for you. You owe me *tongue emoji*” 9m

 **tchalamet** replied to **richcordiero** ’s comment: “Busted *scared emoji*”. 10m

 **richcordiero** commented on **tchalamet** ’s post: “hate to be that guy but… did you steal my kicks?!”. 15m

 **richcordiero** liked **tchalamet** ’s post. 15m

 **xavierdolan** liked **tchalamet** ’s post. 18m

 **itsmeben** liked **tchalamet** ’s post. 18m

 **tchalamet** shared a **post** : “army” {photo taken from pov, looking down at people fixing his trousers and shoes} 20m

 

________________________

 

**< 8:13AM>**

Nice stable you’re building there.

 

**< 13.26gmt>**

_Hi, morning._

 

**< 13.26gmt>**

_What?_

 

**< 8:31AM>**

Stable.

 

**< 8:31AM>**

All the dudes swarming you like honey

 

**< 13.34gmt>**

_What are you talking about, you mad spoon_

_*open mouth smilie emoji*_

 

**< 8:36AM>**

Your ig feed is like

 

**< 8:36AM>**

Insane? Some rando sliding in your dms?

 

**< 13.38gmt>**

_Says the king of rando dms? *laughing emoji*_

 

**< 8:40AM>**

I don’t answer them. Do you?

 

**< 13.43gmt>**

_Yes you do! The crazier the better…_

 

**< 8:43AM>**

The dicks who deserve a beat down, but not

 

**< 8:43AM>**

NVM

 

**< 13.45gmt>**

_Wait…_

 

**< 13.46gmt>**

_Are you being serious?_

 

**< <<8:53AM>>>**

About how I might dislike my _newly established_

boyfriend chatting up every fucking asshole on ig?

Yeah, I might be serious.

 

**< <<14.01gmt>>>**

_*ignores the flush of ‘boyfriend’ pleasure*_

 

**< <<14.01gmt>>>**

_I don’t have a clue what youre talking about?_

 

**< <<14.02gmt>>>**

_Who am I supposedly chatting up?_

 

**< <<14.02gmt>>>**

_The hottest commenter on my post didn't even slide into my DMs_

_*eyeroll emoji*_

 

**< <<14.02gmt>>>**

_That is a problem, if you’re looking for one._

 

**< <<14.02gmt>>>**

_*smile emoji*_

 

**< <<9:09AM>>>**

Are you being purposefully obtuse?

 

**< Incoming call from Timothee>**

**< 9:12AM>**

 

<AH> [grumbled short] Hello

 

<TC> What’s going on?

 

<AH> That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

 

<TC> You’re mad at me?

 

<AH> [groans] No. I don’t know. Maybe. _Fuck._ [muffled shuffling, deep breaths] I don’t _like_ it, okay?

 

<TC> Okay, but…  I don’t know _what_ it is you don't like?

 

<AH> Look- [a beat] You’re not careless with your social media. It all means _something._ So, I guess, [defeated sigh, voice now calmer, subdued] It’s just that I woke up this morning, after- after telling you that… that I love you, last night. And, I see this post, clearly meant for _whoever_ this Rich asshole is. Someone you know well enough to take his _shoes?_ I just- _fuck._

 

<TC> _Oh fuck_ [laughs] You’re something else, man. [laughs until coughing takes over] _Fuck._ Dude. You have it all fucked up.  Though, the jealousy is cute. And appreciated.

 

<AH> Thrilled to have amused you.

 

<TC> The fact you can’t see whats right in front of you sometimes _does_ amuse me. [pause] Rich is not some [giggles] _asshole_ . He’s a friend of mine from back home, he studied photography, I took part in a shoot of his years ago for his portfolio and I robbed the outfit I had on. They weren’t _his_ his. I kinda forgot I could get caught out.  Dude probably had to front a stack for ‘em. [laughs to himself again]

 

<AH> So he wasn’t… you didn’t…? _Shit._ [heavy sigh, under his breath] _Way to go, Hammer._ [pause] I guess I owe you an apology.

 

<TC> No, you don’t. It’s cool. I am flattered, mostly. That you got jealous for one and that you appreciate my subtle use of social media for the other. Why do you think I captioned it with your name, you fucking idiot [giggles]

 

<AH> Fuck, T. [muffled thump as he falls back on the bed like a felled tree, a long moment before he answers] Of course, I saw that, but I couldn’t- I didn’t want to assume or believe- and then when I saw _asshole_ comment, I _knew_ it wasn’t about me at that point. Or, _thought_ it wasn’t.

 

<TC> Ok you can stop calling him that now [laughs] Armie, I would never use my social accounts to be, I don’t know, sly or something with you. If I ever had an issue with you, I am saying it to your face. I _know_ how you feel about putting your life on social media. If I was genuinely… what, _fucking_ Rich on the side, you think I would put it near insta? Dude…. [pause] Look, we can talk about this again but if it's an issue… I will happily hand over the reins on my account to someone else. I won’t use it. I don’t _need_ it. I don’t want it to be something you’re over analyzing or reading into when we are apart. [pause] Unless you're comin’ to the best conclusions, like “man, this boy is thirsty as fuck for me”.

 

<AH> [long pause, voice low] I know. I knowIknowIknow. [sigh] I didn’t _really_ think or believe you were fucking as- _Rich_ . It’s not that. I’m just- it was… everything else you said. You _know_ how crazy all of this makes me. How much I truly _hate_ posting every second of a person’s existence on there. And how _some_ people do use it to get their digs in. [pause] You _are_ so careful to curate everything you post and it this… is totally down to my issues, and I am sorry. I’m just not… I’m not there with _us_ and being secure in believing in the best case scenario. And, [shifting, muffled movement] I really just _do not_ like all these dudes sniffing round you.

 

<TC> Well, I mean… I don't _enjoy_ you being married, either. Or the visual reminder every time I see you.

 

<AH> [hisses] Ouch. Yeah, okay, fair enough. I deserve that.

 

<TC> I’m just sayin’, some things just are what they are. If we are gonna make this work, we have to trust each other 100%. I _want_ you to trust me but I _know_ you need time. That is okay too, just… lets always have this talk if you see something you don’t like.

 

<AH> I _do_ trust you, without question, I do. That’s not the issue. This is about me. About this… our situation. My inability to stake some sort of fucking _claim_ like a goddamn Neanderthal. This insane, stupid voice in my head, wanting to shove everyone away from you while screaming _mine._

 

<TC> [laughs] That’s hot. [pause] We _will_ get our time. Right? Eventually?

 

<AH> I mean, it’s what I want. But… that’s a very serious discussion that we are going to have to have at some point.

 

<TC> [sighs] Add it to the list.

 

<AH> I know. [huffs a sad breath] I’m sorry. None of this is easy. I’m scared you are going to realise that soon, that’s it’s just not worth the hassle.

 

<TC> [softly, tenderly] Shut up.

 

<AH> Forgive me?

 

<TC> Nothing to forgive. Though, if Rich _does_ come and kill me over those kicks, you might avenge my death after?

 

<AH> [low laugh] As any good boyfriend would.

 

<TC> You can shout it from the rooftops then, when I have no life let alone career to protect. So… we okay now?

 

<AH> Yeah. We’re good.

 

<TC> Good. [hums softly] We, umm, can revisit the claiming, though…?

 

<AH> You like that, hm?

 

<TC> Very much so. Maybe there is an edge of your jealous streak that is going to work out well for both of us.

 

<AH> [soft laugh] Don’t poke the bear.

 

<TC> Okay, okay. Right, dude, I gotta bounce, but I’ll text you later? What you got on today?

 

<AH> Nothing much on for me. Hoping to chat with the kids later and make a few calls to the agent and just general bookkeeping stuff until showtime. Definitely text me whenever you get a chance. And, by the way, you sound a little better today. Sorry I hadn’t even asked how you were feeling.

 

<TC> Better for talking to you. Thanks. Say hi to the kids for me and we'll chat later.

 

<AH> Of course. Have a good day. Love you.

 

<TC> You too, peace.

 

< **call has disconnected >**

 

**________________**

 

**< <<22.15gmt>>>**

_*Photo*_

__ {magazine spread ft Armie is laid out flat on a bed, his chest covered in come} _ _

 

 

**< <<22.15gmt>>>**

_Claimed._

 

**< <<5:19PM>>>**

I have 20 minutes and need you naked NOW

 

**< <<22.21gmt>>>**

_I only need 5 of them and your wish_

_is my command._

 

**< Facetime>**

**< Incoming Call from Armz>**

**< 22.23gmt>**

 

<TC> [slightly breathless, crooked smile] Hey

 

<AH> Hey. [looks a little wild, eyes darting all over Timmy’s face onscreen] Are you naked? Please tell me you’re naked. I’ve locked the door and there are about 3000 people in the hall, but fuck, T. I _need_ you- _this_ , right now.

 

<TC> [pans camera down his body, lying on sofa, tshirt pulled up to his chest, jeans - unfastened - halfway down his legs. His cock already hard. He pans back to his face] Good enough for you?

 

<AH> Beggars can’t be choosers. [breathless laugh] We match. [ camera turns, showing his own white t-shirt bunched under his arms, red flannel open wide, jeans shoved to his knees, cock in hand]

 

<TC> _Fuck._ Leave the camera there, yeah?

 

<AH> [fist tightens, strokes slowly] You like that?

 

<TC> [moans softly] Mmmmhmm. You’re-, your cock is-, you are _fucking_ incredible. Show me how you like it.

 

<AH> God, T. Your voice is enough to send me over the edge. [groans, hips now thrusting in time] How- how do I like it? Right now? [shaky breath] After that pic you sent. _Fuck_. I want it… I want you, hard and fast. [fist moves a little faster, clicking sound of wet skin now audible] Would you- would you mark me like that? If we were...together?

 

<TC> I wish you’d warned me about that- [moans softly, long exhale] photoshoot before I saw it. You looked so _fucking_ good, I just wanted you with me, there, on your knees. [His eyes flutter closed as he sucks in his bottom lip, crease in brow deepening as his hand works faster. He forces his eyes open to continue to watch Armie on screen] I wanted to push myself past your lips, make you take all of me until _I_ couldn’t take anymore and I’d have to- [panting slightly, still working his lower lip] I’d have to pull out and you’d leave your mouth there, waiting, waiting for me to come all over you.

 

<AH> _Jesus. Fuck, yess._ [his hand falters for a moment before his fingers spread, reaching his balls, squeezing them tight against the base of his cock as he groans, hips pushing up into his fist before he resumes stroking himself] I didn’t know… _fuck_. I- I want that. I want every bit of  you all over me.

 

<TC> Y’know what’s doing it for me right now? Other than the fact I feel unbelievably lucky to be witnessing this?

 

<AH> Mmmmm [low and breathless] Tell me, babe.

 

<TC> Your hands are fucking huge… and yet… [breathless short giggle] your cock looks so fucking good in them. But you’re going to cover me entirely and I [breath hitches] I can’t fucking wait.

 

<AH> [low hiss through his teeth] _Yes._ Fuck, Tim. Would you- [tightens his grip, strokes down and holds still for a moment, the head of his cock, dark and flushed, leaking, on proud display before he regains control and begins stroking again] Would you let me… let me hold you down? Hold you down and make you take it?

 

<TC> Let you? [he licks his lips, his cheeks flushed. Glancing down at his cock he works his hand faster before dropping his head back eyes closed.] Fuck… [he opens one eye to look at the screen] Let you? I’d be fucking begging you…

 

<AH> [disappears from view before righting the camera again, his knees now bent, feet planted on the cot, thrusting up into his hand.] Fuck, yes. I want you to beg for it. I want- you so ready for it, you- you are practically in tears.

 

<TC> _Please_ . I want to _feel_ it, every slow fucking inch of it.

 

<AH> Yesss, baby. [breath hitches, hand moving faster, the sound obscene] Are you close? I’m so close. I want to come, imagining you taking it soooo well. Every bit of it, do you want that? Tell me that’s what you want, T.

 

<TC> [moves phone to rest against the back of the sofa, freeing his hands. He drops his chin, watching his hand as it works his cock, his other hand fluttering up his chest, lightly wrapping around his throat. He groans audibly, sucking in his lower lip] Yes, _please, please,_ Armie, _fuckI’mclose, please…_

 

<AH> [moaning] How are you fucking _real_ ? [hand now moving in a flurry, messy and uncontrolled, out of sync with his hips] Let me hear you come, T. I need to _hear_ you, please.

 

<TC> [he looks back to camera, his eyes dazed, unfocused, watching Armies hands. His mouth is open, his tongue licking the corner of his lip, his whole demeanour trance-like. He looks away again, down his body with a low moan, shifting slightly, the rustle of denim. His mouth drops open again as he pants, his body tensing.] _Fuck, fuck, fuck… Arm-fuck, ah … [his head drops back again, his body arching off the sofa as he utters a final, deep “Fuck”]_

 

<AH> Oh, _jesusfuck_ , Tim. _Yesss,_ so good. You are- [hitches a breath, groans] _Fuck._ [the image on the screen is unstable, the force of his stroking and thrusting causing the cot he lies on to tremble and shake] _Tim._ So good. Sogoodsogood, so- [his words die in his throat,  replaced with a low, rumbling hum as his hips thrust up and hold in the air, and he’s coming, coating his still stroking hand, pooling against his stomach, shooting in the direction of the camera, landing on his heaving chest] _Jesusssssssss._

 

<TC> [hums appreciatively, his smile and eyes soft] Fucking gorgeous.

 

<AH> Mmmmm [lazy] I may have made a mistake.

 

<TC> I didn’t wanna warn you but… [looks down at himself, whispers] I’m a fucking mess.

 

<AH> You’re _my_ fucking mess. [smirks into the camera] But yeah- [stretches, yawns] This may not have been my brightest idea. [laughs, looks at Timmy, eyes still glassy, cheeks flushed, voice gone soft] But it was worth it.

 

<TC> Makes up for you not sending me any evidence of coming in the past 24 hours even though if I was you, i’d have that pretty cock in my hand all day long.

 

<AH> [laughs, shaking his head] Guess I’ll just have to make it up to you somehow.

 

————————

 

**July 18, 2018**

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_Just layin here reliving this evenin_

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_Fuck you are hot, man._

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_I'm such a jammy bastard_

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_Goofy lil prick like me gets to take that home? I'm hashtag fucking blessed._

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_Anyway, hope you're feeling better about everything and… tonight_

_went a ways to show you what you mean to me. How_

_much I want you. How I can't get enough of you_

_and there is no one else for me._

 

**< <<02.05gmt>>>**

_Anyway… sleep for me before I embarrass myself. Night xxxx_

 

————————

 

**< <<10:47PM>>>**

I couldn't tell you if I hit my marks or fucked up my lines. The entire night was a blur.

 

**< <<10:48PM>>>**

All I could think about was you. How you sounded. The things I want to do to you.

 

**< <<10:48PM>>>**

The things I want you to do to me.

 

**< <<10:49PM>>>**

I'm shocked by how much I want

 

 

**< <<10:49PM>>>**

By how much I want to _give_ to you. Of myself.

 

**< <<10:49PM>>>**

Of control. And it scares me and makes me

act even crazier than normal.

 

**< <<10:51PM>>>**

What I'm trying to say is, how I acted earlier today.

The jealousy. It was more about me than anything

you were doing or have done. And there was no need

for you to _prove_ anything but I can't regret the

outcome because it was hot as fucking hell

 

**< <<12:11AM>>>**

*9 second video*

{Armie's face, eyes closed, head back, water cascading over his head where he stands under the shower spray. Camera quickly pans down, held at chest level, angled toward the floor. Chest hair wet, dark, trail of lather leading to his soapy fist jerking himself off as he comes moaning a coarse, rough-grunted, “ _Tim, fuck_ ”can be heard above the sound of rushing water _ _}__

 

 


	48. Timmy's playlist

[Timmy's Playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Bb66tZH3dEYYszOPVypzw)

 

Some might say it took long enough…

Since there aren’t a load of _directly_ referenced songs, the playlist also includes songs that were instrumental (hah) during the writing process and may or may not have also been mentioned in the real world by our good pal Timotay.  


Enjoy :)

**Chapter 10:**

Kid Cudi “Pursuit of Happiness” (reference) 

Travis Scott “Impossible” -  _“Nights like this, nights like this, I wish I could do the impossible, I could do the impossible”_

**Chapter 16:**

A$AP Mob “Don’t Touch My Raf” (reference)   


**Chapter 21:**

Kid Cudi “By Design”  _“And the choices you made, it’s all by design, Go with it, mmmm, Come on don’t fuck up the feng shui, So twisted in emotional notions, Oh yeah, I savor your love, Don’t fuck up the feng shui”_

**Chapter 23:**

Ty Naps “Shrine” [“](https://open.spotify.com/track/7JRuuP8Vj2AdTthihCuvtG?si=cLBG4rW1SpuMfPRyJ8SnQw) _Sometimes I really gotta be alone, free my mind and let my feeling flow…”_

**Chapter 28:**

Kanye West “Father (Stretch My Hands)” (reference) 

**Chapter 29:**

The Weeknd “The Hills”  _“I’m just tryna get you out the friend zone, 'Cause you look even better than the photos, I can’t find your house, send me the info, Drivin’ through the gated residential, Found out I was comin’, sent your friends home, Keep on tryna hide it but your friends know”_

**Chapter 34:**

Tyler The Creator ft Frank Ocean “She” (reference) 

**Chapter 39:**

Kid Cudi “My World” (reference)

**Chapter 45:**

Kids See Ghosts “Feel The Love” “ _Grrrat-gat (I can still feel the love), Gat-gat-gat-gat-gat, Grrrat-gat-gat-gat (I can still feel the love), Grrrat-gat-gat-gat-gat-gat (feel the love), Grrrat”_

**  
**

**For the songs that were referenced but either aren’t on Spotify or aren’t on Timmy’s playlist see below :)**

**Chapter 8:**

Frank Ocean “[We All Try](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6Q6HYJOo2M)” “ _I believe that marriage isn’t between a man and woman but between love and love_ ” 

**Chapter 10:**

Timothee Chalamet  [Statistics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvWefB4NGGI) (reference)

**Chapter 13:**

Robert Pattinson “[Never Think](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BMvrTghhME)”

**Chapter 16:**   


Frank Ocean “Flight” (reference) Not on Spotify so have a [bonus track](https://open.spotify.com/track/7tr2za8SQg2CI8EDgrdtNl):

**Chapter 21:**

Craig David “[7 days](https://open.spotify.com/track/0gPQTLaqHDgdupKEok7J2x?si=vkxNGTc5QDCL9yIbgJZFYQ)” (reference)

  


To everyone who has ever given any amount of love to [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13858212?view_full_work=true), it is more appreciated that words can really express but, yknow, _**thank you very very much**._

**Author's Note:**

> Find us on Tumblr:
> 
> LivefromG25 aka [694699](694699.tumblr.com)
> 
> MonikaKrasnorada aka [foryou-insilence](foryou-insilence.tumblr.com)


End file.
